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Surely a burly gravel bike somewhere is called
*company name* - mission creep
I want one. Does it come with 140mm forks?
I’m now thinking “jeepers creepers” is a good model name.
XC Bike - The Bimbler
I’m now thinking “jeepers creepers” is a good model name
Could be a whole line up of bikes along with the "creepy jesus".
have longed called my burly gravel bike/29er ‘Gravelbeast’
Not the best, but it obviously fits
I’d buy a bike named ‘Trevor’
My Van Nicholas Amazon is now my #gradventourer.
What about a Santa Cruz OnFinance?
I'd pay good money for a shand handy
One of the big brands should just be honest and release the Planned Obsolescence. Tricky to fit on a downtube being the major stumbling block.
Swarf should make a light weight XC bike called the Eager.
Swarf should make a sliver, skelf and splinter.
Santa Cruz OnFinance?
SC Nevernever
SC OnTick
I like the Santa Cruz theme.
SC APR
SC Credit Check
Lexington Steel, hardtail with a very long front end.
Well, if expanding that theme - Santa Cruz 5010 InterestRate, for the lawyers 😉
I'm still annoyed that after I independently came up with Chromag it turned out someone else had done it. (spoiler: It was Chromag). So I named that bike the Iron Chicken instead, and tbh that's a bloody good name for a steel bike.
Fender Bender - singlespeed/fixie/road bike/bicycle.
These probably do exist:
Cove Throbber, cove anal creampie etc
If cove did its own proprietary components then it's wheels would be 'rimjobs', it's brakes 'fxxkpads', something something flange
There's a rich seam there but to be honest I'm done
arseovertit
Dalliance
Fad
Something something
Stramash
Parts bin special
Kenneth
Bling ting
ATGNI (all the gear no Idea)
Most expensive bike in the shop
Gravel gazer
Hello ducky
Holy Cross
Somebody at Planet X/On One is feverishly jotting these down.
Holy Cross
And its burlier, retro stablemate, the Old Rugged Cross.
Sledgehammer
Orange Bastard
Surly Prick
Marin gpiece
Transition vamp
Yeti still bought it
Cannondale gravelcock
My much loved Trigger 29 with lefty was always The Gnarwhale.
Yeti still bought it
FTW nobeer
Specialized Litigation
Aggregate type 1
Rooty tutti
Rocky road
Rock cake
Suspense
Spinderella
Gnar gnar
Nee gnar
Dairy free
Shooter
XXC MTB
Fun-der!
The Wilier Slipstream.
How about naming bikes after serial killers. Would definitely get publicity.
Gacy
Manson
Bundy
Ripper
Shipman
Chikatilo
I'm sure a clever person could do a cereal/serial pun on the names.
Fat Knacker
Geet Fat Knacker (29 er)
Basher...
The bollocks...
Mutts nuts...
The Mid life...
Dip stick...
Public Enemy ( might be used elsewhere)
Skill compensator
Shit-the-bed
A&E Where?
A&E Fast track
There's a Halifax based company that could use
Dickinson
Winton
Trump
As model names.
Double Track Destroyer. Probably marketed as down county 100mm
Knobber
As in i got myself a "29 inch Knobber"
Re serial killers. Santa Cruz should tap into its rich serial killer heritage. Wasn't it the world capital of serial killers with 2 of them plying their trade at once? (Kemper and Mullins)
I love 'Transition Vamp' although UK eighties reference might be lost on the pinkbike hordes
Cotic Cheese
Cotic Tock
polygon paragon
Mondraker moonraker
The On One Close Enough
The Planet X Lucky Dip
The Cannondale Non-standard
The Orange Filing Cabinet
The Lynskey Kraaken
The Trek unnecessary new standard or UNS530 in Trek parlance. The Stooge McDuck
Evil Pritti
Giant Mediocrity
Trek Decapitator
The Niner T9 Balloon fat bike
Cannondale Cracknfail
Cove Cottager
On-One Jobseeker
On-One 'noffagain
Planet X Plosion
Cannondale Hill'ncrawlup (say it quick)
Surly Xpression
CX bike called The Flagellator
I’m still annoyed that after I independently came up with Chromag it turned out someone else had done it. (spoiler: It was Chromag). So I named that bike the Iron Chicken instead, and tbh that’s a bloody good name for a steel bike.
Not forgetting...
What about a bit of direct honesty in a bike range
The Cheap Intro
The Basic but Good
The Extra Shiny Bits
The Overpriced Range Topper
I like the Santa Cruz theme.
SC APR
SC Credit Check
They literally actually call their premium carbon range the ‘CC’ range...
On-One Jobseeker
Best.
I ride a rigid 29er. Perhaps I should name it after what I say when I'm trying to follow my mates on full bouncers or burly hardtails down steep techy stuff.
The Salsa 's**t! s**t! s**t!'. Or the 'no f***ing way I'm riding down that!'.
On-One Warranty Replacement.
Holdsworth Mike Ashley.
Surly Beard Oil.
Yeti Bourgeois.
Santa Cruz Stereotype.
Orange How Much?
Ellesworth Shitting Dog.
Dawes Past Glories.
Pashley Gammonette.