Bike in the cloakroom - AIBU ?

Yes

Just for clarity we are talking about the downstairs toilet? The dunny? The cludgy? Not a place where visitors leave their cloaks and capes after depositing their cards on the silver tray proffered by the butler?

If you don't know the answer to this you're beyond saving already.

Take the opportunity for a new man cave ?  Is it just a cloakroom or is this posh talk for the downstairs loo. If it's literally a cupboard, then why not use it for bike storage. Who gives a stuff what visitors think, it's your house.

I could object to the seven sewing machines MrsF has in the house, but hey, ho, my five bikes, plus four other bikes, associated wheels etc are in MY garage !

You do have more than one bike though ?

I keep my bike in our downstairs cloakroom.

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE BIKE! WTactualF!

Presumably folk can still use the sink & toilet - if so offer to add a curtain etc to hide it?

Or have you a garage/shed, and that's why she's really not happy?

Am I really being unreasonable or are we heading for a patio extension scenario?

I would propose suitable bike storage. At least a 3x4m shed, heated, lighting, workbench etc.
Of course this can be installed onto a suitable area of fresh paving, just make sure it is level with no lumps in the middle.

One bike lives in the dining room, one in the living room, 2 in the garage (i don't use them ones)

I've always been of the opinion that you buy/rent a house for you and not for the people who visit you. It therefore follows that you can do whatever the fun you like with the cloakroom.

Resolve the issue by setting up a permanent turbo in the bedroom, to use as bike storage, next to your side of the bed. 😉

"I keep my bike in our downstairs cloakroom."

<br />YOU ONLY HAVE ONE BIKE! WTactualF!

For the avoidance of doubt:

I keep my currently most used bike in our downstairs shitter.

Mate of mine kept his kayak behind his sofa.

His kayak. Behind his sofa.

Let that sink in for a moment 

Well yeah, but.

the smell of chain lube and cleaning stuff is extremely pleasant

It's all about the details. The Peaty stuff is minty and all fine. The Fenwicks Pro stuff smells like ultra-condensed fresh cowpat. Impressive stuff, but yeah it stinks.
Get those small details nailed and it'll be fine.

If it's a small shitter and users could potential catch their clothes on your dirty chain and other oily bits - then yes, you are being unreasonable. Especially if you have a shed/garage to keep it in.

Mate of mine kept his kayak behind his sofa.

His kayak. Behind his sofa.

Let that sink in for a moment 

Handy for flooding emergency ? Sounds sensible to me.

I get pelters for drying out the packraft indoors.   That lives under the stairs.  Bikes in the cludgie.

MrsJ maintains that this is unreasonable and that it makes the claokroom not appropriate for visitors to use.

You live there, they don't. They can keep whatever they want in whatever rooms they have where they live. Bikes indoors upset some people, but they're wrong.

Bikes indoors upset some people, but they’re wrong.

Thanks heavens someone has a working moral compass !!

MrsJ maintains that this is unreasonable and that it makes the cloakroom not appropriate for visitors to use.

**** the visitors, it's your house, do what ever you want, and tell any unhappy visitors to jog on.

Obviously agree you happy to compromise, if you can build a secure man-shed, alternatively an outside loo

You are not being unreasonable. However it would be worth googling "Toilet plume" and asking yourself whether you want your precious bike exposed to that on a regular basis?

If there is enough room to use the loo, then why not. Our downstairs powder room isn't big enough to get a bike in.

Slap a portaloo on the front lawn.

I can only wonder why you're calling a toilet a cloakroom.

Glad ransos posted that as I was thinking the same. For a minute there I thought the OP lived at a theatre or something

It is very rare that at least one of my/kids bikes is not in the hall, often absolutely filthy and more often than not several are there. The others are floating around various storage places in the rest of the house. No room in the garage, that is full of car.

I think bikes indoors (ie in the house) are a complete PITA, they fall over, hey have sharp edges, they get in the way, they're mucky everyone else in the house complains ...Get them outside 

How big is your downstairs bog to fit all that in? Mines only just big enough for a toilet and hand basin.

To answer the question, my house is for me so if visitors don't like something then they don't need to come round. I've had this conversation with my mother in law who often lets me know that she doesn't approve of our dogs on our sofa...

I see no problems, but then I had 2 bikes under the stairs 3 in the downstairs loo and the titanium twins in the dining Room.**

folks come to visit you, not walk into a showhome with no soul.

** this has now been sorted with a lovely custom fort knox/bike workshop/temple of shiny things.

**** the visitors, it’s your house, do what ever you want, and tell any unhappy visitors to jog on.

This seems to be a common sentiment, but it's missing a key piece of information IMO, which is that:

MrsJ maintains that this is unreasonable

The unhappiness of visitors pales into insignificance in comparison with the unhappiness of MrsJ, and in turn, the reflected unhappiness she can shower onto OP himself.

I would tread with care. You can of course take a strong line, but it requires strategic thought. Does MrsJ have some unreasonable household behaviours you can somehow use as leverage?

@nixie, A car in the garage, call yourself a cyclist ?  Garages are for bikes

How sweaty is your helmet? Or shoes, and rain shell?

Bikes in the house is normal/reasonable/acceptable/inevitable. But there are some items of clothing that are so stinky that they could probably walk out to the garage where they belong on their own.

Keep them in there but agree to move them elsewhere when you are expecting visitors.

How sweaty is your helmet?

Bit personal for a public forum .

Can't you put it in your orangerie ?, or perhaps find a space in the Butlers pantry.

Sounds to me like you have a perfect excuse for a "compromise" wherein you end up with a lovely new outbuilding of some sort to store and work on your bike without being disturbed every time someone is busting for a wee...

I'm assuming you've not got space in the Downstairs loo to actually work on a bike?

@nixie, A car in the garage, call yourself a cyclist ?  Garages are for bikes<br /><br />

I can only think this is a cycling imposter. Fake news. Who’s using a garage for cars when there are bikes and kit to be stored!?

Slap a portaloo on the front lawn.

I would pay to see the reaction to that.

Is the patio extension to allow for more bike storage or for you to be buried under when you don't move your bike?

Build an outdoor crapper - complete with squares of newspaper hanging from a rusty nail hammered into the door just too high to reach from a sitting position.
You could cut costs by doing without a door - just use a plastic sheet and relocate rusty nail to high up on one of the walls.
Don't bother with any lighting in there.
That then frees up more indoor bike storage space for you.

I can only wonder why you’re calling a toilet a cloakroom.

Because 'toilet' is common. 'Lavatory' is preferred, 'cloakroom' for Dr's and the like dontchaknow.

Tsssk. STW plebs 🙃

I keep my bike in our downstairs cloakroom.

MrsJ maintains

Bike in the cloakroom – AIBU ?

Yes.

I’m assuming you’ve not got space in the Downstairs loo to actually work on a bike?

Interesting question. There is room to lube the chain. I've been wondering if there is any downside to doing so in a vertical position (oo err missus)

I can only wonder why you’re calling a toilet a cloakroom.

One does have standards of politesse

If it's a Pista groupset then this is an understandable mistake

Mate of mine kept his kayak behind his sofa.

His kayak. Behind his sofa.

Let that sink in for a moment 

Mate of mine keeps (one of many) sea kayaks between the settee and the telly. Its a  Rockpool Taran with glitter starfish - for anyone in the know that's a very cool boat and the loveliest thing in his house. He also has a lathe in the dining room. He's single in case you're wondering...

He’s single in case you’re wondering…

I think we guessed that 🙂 🙂

However it would be worth googling “Toilet plume” and asking yourself whether you want your precious bike exposed to that on a regular basis?

This, really. I know we are used to being sprayed with aerosolized cowshit on a regular basis, but imagine a regular miasma of human faeces coating your lovely bike...

I bet your kids wipe their hands on the rain shell on the way out as well.

A car in the garage, call yourself a cyclist ?  Garages are for bikes

I can only think this is a cycling imposter. Fake news. Who’s using a garage for cars when there are bikes and kit to be stored!?

The garage is cold, the car likes the cold. The house is warm, much better for the bikes :D. All the bike maintenance (other than fork services) gets done in the lounge, normally while wife is in there, so its is also convenient (and I also then stay warm while doing the maintenance). The dining room currently has a wheel jig on the table and numerous wheels/rims in various states of build.

regular miasma of human faeces coating your lovely bike

Defacating in the cloakroom? How very sordid. (We have a garden for that :-). )

I bet your kids wipe their hands on the rain shell on the way out as well.

Now you're just being deliberately upsetting 🙁

it makes the claokroom not appropriate for visitors to use.

Use to do what?

You've filled it so full of shit that they can't hang up their coats, fair. She's worried that they'll be offended at the sight of a bicycle, not so much.

Pull it out and stick it in the living room. 😁

Currently storing the chain saw in the lounge. Along with the oil to keep it all warm

Storm in a tasse de the' Mon ami

I keep 1 bike in the hall outside the dunny. My clever ploy is the wife has hers there too so she cannot complain that there are 2 bikes blocking the hall.

Defacating in the cloakroom? How very sordid. (We have a garden for that :-). )

I can now picture your household perfectly.

Can’t you put it in your orangerie ?, or perhaps find a space in the Butlers pantry.

I don't suppose OP could squeeze it through the tradesman's entrance?

We  stayed at a nice B&B in Whitchurch were they stored our bikes in the outside toilet and shower room.

Perfect for post ride cleansing.

I'm struggling to imagine a toilet big enough to store a bike and tools. Is that hygenic?

I don’t suppose OP could squeeze it through the tradesman’s entrance

I’ll thank you not to discuss my tradesman’s entrance.

if mrsalias reads this i'll get a ban from here.

a bike in the house - incredible, next you will be telling me that bike gloves/lid/shoes live in the house as well

Interesting question. There is room to lube the chain. I’ve been wondering if there is any downside to doing so in a vertical position (oo err missus)

My missus would draw the line at me firing up a DFF full of putoline in the downstairs bog, the presence and orientation of a bike in there would be a distant second concern 😉

Dobbing "lube" on a chain should be fine with it dangled upright, but I was referring to actually working on you bike, you know fitting parts, checking spoke tensions, exploding tyres off wheels and covering yourself in sealant, jobs where you'd benefit from having some space and nothing too precious in the immediate area, I can't imagine preferring to cram a bike in a bog instead of waging a campaign for a shed...

I think it’s up to mrs j to propose alternatives as you are content with the situation. When she finds one that you are happy with the problem is solved. 

Do you not have a spare bedroom to keep it in?

In one of our former residences I had a spare bedroom as a workshop with 3 or 4 bikes stored there.  I can highly recommend it, far more room than the downstairs bog.

The wife wasn't too impressed when she came home to me riding down the stairs though 😂

was referring to actually working on you bike, you know fitting parts, checking spoke tensions, exploding tyres off wheels and covering yourself in sealant, jobs where you’d benefit from having some space and nothing too precious in the immediate ar

Naah, that stuff happens in the garage, but it’s too damp for bike storage.

Pull it out and stick it in the living room.

Mount it on the wall, instead of the TV. Or the portrait Grandpapa or whatever you have in your living room 😉

I think bikes indoors (ie in the house) are a complete PITA, they fall over, hey have sharp edges, they get in the way, they’re mucky everyone else in the house complains …Get them outside

But they're safe inside the house. How often do you hear about bikes being stolen from sheds and garages compared to those that are actually inside houses? My wife wanted them to go in the garage when we met but as a police officer had to agree that they're much safer in the house. There's currently 3 in the kitchen and one on a turbo trainer in the spare bedroom, plus 3 old ones in the garage along with a couple of frames and various bits.

Who gives a stuff what visitors think, it’s your house.

It's his wife's house. He lives there at her pleasure. If you insist on keeping the bike there, I would avoid eating any dish that contains mushrooms.