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curses.
Pulled the short straw.
Wedding in a week's time, and i'm looking for any inspiration for any good jokes/opening lines etc that will hopefully make my 5 minutes of fame seem even shorter.
please don't need to know the one about the warm bit of paper etc, or the "cant read your writing" gag either.
tia...
dh
"I've had her. And her. And her mother. Hic"
Hth.
yer mam makes a great fried breakfast.
Last Best Man speech I did, I got a World of Warcraft joke in there, so I'm perhaps not the best man(*) to ask about this.
(* - ho ho!)
I'm greedy so had two best men! Both very good but the stand out part was where one asked everyone to sit right on thefront of their seats, plenty of cmon cmon let's have you etc, then divided the room in half, then gets the left side to repeat after him "oooooo" then the right side "aaaahh" then back to the left "oooooo" back to the right "aaahhhhh" etc etc you get the picture. Then turns to me and says there you go, as promised I had them all on the edge of their seats going ooh and aaahhhhh and preceeded to sit down! Sounds lame in text but worked well it went down a storm!! Oh and then Got owned by past stories!!
I'd have to mock up embarrassing photoshop recollections
failing that get the lil guy out
Try this..
stand up and say...
'i was surprised to hear that [i](insert couples name here)[/i] were going to Spain/wherever on honeymoon... i swore they were going to wales....
as just last week i spoke to [i](insert grooms name here)[/i] on the phone,
.... and he told me he was just going to Bangor for two weeks!'
Shrug shoulders as if confused, cheeky wink. Cue laughter 🙂
I've been a best man twice now. Both speeches, I hinted at a little naughtiness in our past and dropped a joke that only a handful of us would get, but both times without actually dropping the groom in the shit.
Other than that, I was just nice about the bride. First time around, I was also very complimentary of the bridesmaids.
Last time I did it was when my mate married a Finnish bird and I was really tempted to do the whole speech in an Arnie-Terminator accent.
When asked to do this ..... speech, i locked myself in a room and began knocking out the lines But enough about my cocaine habit! 
Got to give the credit for that to my mate Stace, he's used it twice now and its got lots of laughs.
I'm sure I got all my best man speech ideas from a site called
get hitched. something or other (google it)
There were loads of previous speeches there so I rcopied / pasted suitable paragraphs out to make my own speech.
>Last time I did it was when my mate married a Finnish bird and I was really tempted to do the whole speech in an Arnie-Terminator accent
Do the Finns like/dislike Austrians then ?
I know its been a very emotional day, I even noticed the cake was in tears earlier
i signed up to bestmanspeech (or something) when I had to do mine. Cost a tenner or so but was good otherwise