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Evening guys,
Sorry for what might be a morbid post but I dont really know where else to ask the question in such a broad audience.
Its a bit of an odd one which has only recently been brought to my attention.
11 years ago my older brother took his own life, as expected it was incredibly traumatic as a 17 year old to lose someone who I was so close to and it really screwed me up for a while.
This is the curveball (a very weird one), I have a minor speech impediment its not too bad but noticeable and when talking it looked similar to bells palsy, there was some weakness on the left side of my mouth (eyes/cheeks are fine), along with incorrect positioning of the tongue it was an issue which went on for about 10 years. I am currently getting specialist speech therapy now to rectify it, I did go to a doctor years ago who at the time gave me some basic home exercises to help it, suspected it was bells palsy and sent me on my way. It didn't work and life got in the way so I left it.
My speech therapist now goes in to the issue further and asked me when it started, I dont know exactly, with it being minor and a gradual thing I didn't wake up one morn with a massive difference but I would say at about 18 years old (my brother passed 1 month before my 18th). She said that about 90% of her patients have a trigger whether that be a trauma or a physical issue.
She put some notes together and passes it to a neurologist colleague who without doing further tests thinks it could have been a very minor stroke/TIA when I was around 18, possibly caused by the stress I was going through at the time. One issue I also have is a very poor memory from my later teenage years to approx 20ish, I struggle to remember smaller things but even details on bigger events (my sisters wedding for one when I was 16, I remember the rough outline of the day but I couldn't tell you any details of colour scheme, who I was sat with, what I ate, what room we ate in etc) and this was the same if you had asked my 5 years ago when I was in my early 20's. It seems as though my brain has just tried to forget this part of my life 😂
Its all kind of odd, I never thought of this issue but looking online it seems that perhaps this could be the cause?
Has anyone else has a similar thing happen after a traumatic or very stressful time?
I dont really know how to feel about it, perhaps they are wrong but it would answer a few questions.
Its strange how if this did happen your body and mind can react to certain events in your life.
I think Scroobius Pip had similar, from memory his traumatic event was nearly drowning. Have a look at what he has written or spoken about his stammer.
He sometimes talks about it on his podcast.
It seems as though my brain has just tried to forget this part of my life
I don't think there is much doubt that your brain will blot out memories which it would rather not remember.
If a whole period in your life was one of stress and anxiety it certainly sounds very plausible that your memories would be hazy.
In my limited experience children who experience the death of a sibling are deeply traumatized. If that death is through them taking their own life I would expect the personal trauma to be many times worse.
I would have thought that speaking to someone with expertise on the issues would be beneficial for you, even if it is just to help you to understand and answer some of the questions which obviously would like to know the answers to. Good luck.
Yes, if you can afford it I'd definitely recommend speaking to a counsellor.
In the UK we often have an idea that this is either something you only do if you are a) in a really bad way or b) American. But it can be very useful. Especially in cases like this where past events might be having ongoing effects - helps you unpick what's actually going on and get a fresh perspective.
Thanks guys.
At the time I was young and stupid, I refused to see any councillors or doctors and tried to power my way through it, done a few daft things and also spent some time travelling a little bit on the back of that but in all honesty I have never really addressed the issue.
I have always worked through it, I run a busy online company and also invest in properties on the side so I dont have a lot of time but since becoming a father and then seeking help for the speech issue I have kind of reflected on things and being told this issue among others could have been caused by the death has kind of took me back a bit. The speech therapist did say that counselling might help just to calm my mind a bit and help long term even though I dont feel the need for one.
It kind of fascinates me how your body copes with these type of things. It was (and is at times) incredibly hard even after this amount of time.
I had a work colleague whose left arm just stopped working for a year or so. She had a lot of stuff going on at home, and thanks to some counselling and help from the nhs she is fine now. So for sure mental stress can give you physical symptoms. I hope you can get some help. Best wishes 🙂
Stress and bereavement can have weird physical and mental effects. Its certainly plausible that it acted as a trigger. Me its my bowels 🙄😀
I found counselling very useful. Dont be afraid to try different people if you dont get on with the first.
Yeh stress is a powerful thing. Pretty sure a stream of nasty life events lead to me suffering from CFS/ME. Any stressful things going on now, or a busy and noisy environment and I just can't think straight, make the simplest decisions, or take in written or displayed information.
Leave me on my own pottering about quietly at home or in the countryside and I'm fine. My memory is shot too and I'd find it hard to put a timeline on things in the past.
As others have suggested, counselling or some form of therapy is likely to enormously (and surprisingly) helpful, but it won’t be a quick fix.
For the Bells Palsy side of things: Acupuncture. Seriously. The STW skeptics will be along momentarily to pooh-pooh the very mention of it, but it is researched and effective.
If you are looking for an acupuncturist in the UK, you need to be careful. Sadly the lack of market regulation means you can do a weekend course and call yourself one. Sigh. Instead you must look for someone degree qualified and registered through the British Acupuncture Council. And even better if your acupuncturist has studied in China.
Good luck.
Your memory issues sound very similar to mine. I'm sure it was to do with sudden bereavement. My mind was stressed for quite some time after. Time has helped but reckon a counsellor, or even just discussing and being open about it will help more.
Can't help with the speech thing though.
Just read Pat Barker's Regeneration if you want an idea of what physical effects emotional trauma can have. It's a work of fiction but what she describes actually happened. Soldiers who went blind, or rather their brains simply stopped processing what their eyes were sending them having sent them things no one would ever want to see.
As for the forgetting of details there are loads of things that should be important I have the haziest memory off, more I know it happened rather than a memory and things of little consequence I remember in the smallest detail. It's not always what we think should be important that is to us.
If you are looking for an acupuncturist in the UK, you need to be careful.
For me they must be Chinese and preferably struggle with speaking English!
I have had a huge amount of acupuncture over the years for a whole range of complaints, sometimes with truly remarkable results and sometimes rather more disappointing.