[Closed] Being happy

I'll raise a glass to that

I feel fortunate, which is why I feel worse when I feel down. But there are moments of pure joy, normally with my kids and family that make it all worth it.

Shouldn't this be in the "bike" forum? 😆

But you are absolutely right, plenty of issues and angst around at the moment, frustration levels at max, belligerent becoming the new norm.

So it's nice to be thankful for what and who we really are, to share a part in someone else's life and bring a touch of meaning to it all.

Enjoy.

I try to focus or think about, for a little while each day, what genuinely feeds my soul.

Give us today our daily bread..... right ?

I once asked a little old lady what the secret was to her sixty, very happy years' marriage. She replied, "Me and Bert didn't always have the best of everything, but we made bloody sure we made the best of what we had."

Chapeau Mrs Morrison, chapeau!

My job is making me happy at the moment. Hugely thankful for the opportunity to get to grips with complex problems, to have the client listen to me, and have my own management support me. And it pays well. Things could be so much worse in that respect.

In the developed world we do have a lot to be thankful for. We live a very priviliged life indeed and it’s all to easy to take what we have for granted and get caught up in your own little worries when in reality we have very little worry about. We live in lovely brick built properties with running water in both hot and cold with an outside area all for oursleves for our children to play in, safe and generally secure. We have a cold storage area for frozen food and chilled food, consider in the past and still in some areas of the world you either ate food straight away or dried it out if you wanted it to last. We have access to a clean method of cooking our food with variable temperature and various methods of cooking, quite an advance over an open fire. We have access to a vehcile where you travel at speed to another area of the world and comfortably carry things and other people with us, quite an advance on walking.
We have access to healthcare to take care of our and our families health where you know if you break a leg for example you can go and get it fixed up, in fact if you break it out in the wilds people will actually come and get you in a helicopter and convey you to a place to get healed. If you set fire to your house people will turn up and put it out for you, how ace is that. The reasons to be thankful just goes on and on, everything is awesome! People really shouldn’t be unhappy.

Happiness IMO is contentment plus joy and you need both aspects which is rarely long lasting.

I think a lot of the discontentment people face is down to unrealistic expectations and chasing dreams that are not theirs

If you have a roof over your head food on the table and reasonably good health then all is good and it's something to remember (when everything around us is geared to telling us we should want want want more stuff). Many many people in the world do not have a roof, food and good health.

In the developed world we do have a lot to be thankful for. We live a very priviliged life indeed and it’s all to easy to take what we have for granted and get caught up in your own little worries when in reality we have very little worry about

Whilst I agree with your post, you are overlooking some other basic human needs. We need shelter and food of course, but less immediately we also need company, love, and a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

It's quite possible in our cosy developed bubble to have our basic physical needs met but not the emotional ones. You can see happy people the world over even if they have little to live on or in. And sad people with everything.

Whilst I'm not indulging first world problems of course and in absolutely NO WAY am I suggesting that our lives are harder than those in terrible poverty and deprivation, we might do well to consider what needs are not being met despite having all this *waves hands around*.

So consider spreading non-material happiness to those around you. It's usually free. And don't be afraid to feel bad about feeling bad when you are materially comfortable. We as humans have BOTH phsyical and emotional needs - all of us. Some have both, some have one or the other and some have neither.

I agree with what molgrips says ^

Very well said molgrips.

Really well put molgrips.

I struggle that family is supposed to equal happiness too, yet life doesn't always turn out like that. Riding bikes seems to be a constant though!

Well said everyone!

To expand, I love my family and I am satisfied and grateful for what I have materially, but that alone doesn't prevent me from getting depressed sometimes.

I understand depression and mental health issues are way more prevalent in the West than developing countries.

So the material comforts we have don't make up for whatever it is that ****ed us up, by a long way ..

I'm with you, vickypea. What I wrote above was meant to reflect a momentary insight. It is entirely true, and I stand by it, but I would not want to gloss over the depression that has also affected me, nor the sorts of difficulties some people might have with precisely the things that make me, personally, happy.

I don't think there is any shame in suffering depression; I just know that, even in the midst of my own, I was glad to have been struck with that overwhelming sense of contentedness.

today... wearing shorts in fabulous sunshine and wheelie-ing and manualing my new bike along the river bank.

Yup raise a glass to that. I find with any of the outdoor activities I do to enjoy the environment, arrive home tired, food and drink taste wonderful and all is good.

wheelie-ing and manualing my new bike

You got the FS then?

I though alpin lived in Bayern. Is it warm enough there to be out riding like the Big Lebowski?

Nice thought provoking stuff.

Do other people find that the more good things they have and happier they getthe more they worry about it all going wrong?

Ever since my boy came along, the family home, the secure job and pregnant wife I'm constantly having nightmares of failure or horrible things like my boy getting hurt. Wind back a few years I had bugger all and couldn't care less. I'd say less happy and content with life than i am niw but didn't have any of this constant worry....

Ever since my boy came along, the family home, the secure job and pregnant wife I'm constantly having nightmares of failure or horrible things like my boy getting hurt.

[url= http://www.livescience.com/46322-fatherhood-changes-brain.html ]
That'll be the hormones[/url]

Do other people find that the more good things they have and happier they get the more they worry about it all going wrong?

I think that's natural. It's something that I have certainly struggled with. The older my kids have gotten, however, and not gone off the rails (or whatever), the less anxious I have become.

molgrips nails it - in many ways I have a very comfortable and privileged life...

A static caravan in Belgium saxonrider? Tell us more, I know people with them in the UK and France but never Belgium . . .

molgrips - Member

wheelie-ing and manualing my new bike

You got the FS then?

yes!

i'm a happy boy.

already been down to South Tyrol for five days. lots of climbing and big descents over 1200hm. (no snow to speak of below ~2000m) 😀 ... and 18°C in the sun on Wednesday! a mild 15°C on Saturday.

SaxonRider - Member

I though alpin lived in Bayern. Is it warm enough there to be out riding like the Big Lebowski?

yup... was 15°C in the shade today. grabbed a beer and watched the sun set over town. and the Strive seems so easy to manual....
but rain today.... =(

To expand, I love my family and I am satisfied and grateful for what I have materially, but that alone doesn't prevent me from getting depressed sometimes.

Likewise BUT; I've just received my 4th Counselling session, last last two giving me much pause for thought. Today I've come to realise that I'm competing with everyone on almost every level of my life. I want to have nice/better things without a level of acceptance of what I actually do have. Its not about me being happy, its about me only able to be happy if I'm " better" than someone else in some way.

Now, I won't reveal the deep rooted causes as I now understand them, but I've very quickly realised that I now need to change the habits of the last 25 years and enjoy / use the things I have/am without having to compete with anyone. Its actually OK to be the very definition of average 🙂

With all due respect, Kryton....

come to realise that I'm competing with everyone on almost every level of my life