Sigh. After growing my beard out, I decided to give it a bit of a trim to tame some of the more unruly parts under the chin, which had started curling back in on themselves.
Clippers sent to long guard, longest setting and away I go. Guard off to trim around the back of the jaw/below the ears.
Wife knocks on bathroom door to import some bad news.
Guard back on, launch into cheeks - only to find rather than the long guard, I've now put on the short guard by mistake. Cue large clumps of hair in the sink and a rather despondent beard owner. Had to trim it all back so it's now more Noel Edmonds than ZZ Top.
I guess the moral of that tale is never trim your beard...
Anyone else have any tales of beard woe they'd like to cheer me up with?
more aero less last nights soup ?
Wife knocks on bathroom door to import some bad news.
It was a cunning plan,she hates your beard.
Get rid of the lot and stop rocking the homeless look 🤣🤣😉
BTW,I am 2 weeks in to my new beard growth,everyone in the house hates it,including the cat.
Done that a few times, I generally don't use a guard just comb it and use it free hand for stragglers or use my fingers for offseting. Use it as an opportunity to keep on top of the trimming.
However what WAS hilarious was the day I decided to do a bit of manscaping with the old babyliss crew cut ( circular thing, brilliant for the old self headshave).
Trimming merrily away nothing much was happening so I took the guard off and started on my right pec nip in the centre of the ring of sharp cutty things. What I hadn't allowed for was the chub.
Cue one extremely bald man-cheb in a sea of luxurious body hair.
Yeah, I picked up a nervous habit of pulling longer hairs on my moustache and, as such ended up giving myself bald patches. I had to shave the whole beard down to stubble a few times to let it grow back without looking like I had some sort of skin problem on my top lip.
I sort of still do it, just not as much. I need to stop myself doing it because it is getting cold and my beard keeps my face warm
Wife knocks on bathroom door to import some bad news.
Anyone else wondering....?
Anyone else wondering….?
Lol, no it wasn't "I hate your beard, so I'm divorcing you".
To put a massive downer on things, there's a rumour going round our kid's school that one of the teachers (who's been off sick for a few weeks) has died of COVID, so a bit surprising first thing in the morning (and possibly at responsible at least in part for the discombobulation leading to the wrong trimmer guard issue).
If you want it short and neat trim against the grain. If you are growing it then go with the grain and pull away as you meet the areas where you want to keep length.
For the tache it seems easier with scissors and a comb.
Done that but worse... Forgot to put the guard on at all. Cue 20 mins of shaving the whole thing off 🤦🏼♂️
20 mins??
You are Gandalf the Grey and I claim my five rings.
Done that but worse… Forgot to put the guard on at all. Cue 20 mins of shaving the whole thing off
Yep, did that too, in the first few months of beard sporting. Bloody annoying, isn't it? It's why I stopped trying to trim it last thing before bed - I'd always make some silly mistake due to tiredness.
Shaved off my beard as soon as it was pointed out that it made me look like Graham Norton 🙁
Every beard is a disaster IMHO 😂
Yeah, I picked up a nervous habit of pulling longer hairs on my moustache and, as such ended up giving myself bald patches. I had to shave the whole beard down to stubble a few times to let it grow back without looking like I had some sort of skin problem on my top lip.
I sort of still do it, just not as much. I need to stop myself doing it because it is getting cold and my beard keeps my face warm
Just go with the Amish look.
Face mask or balaclava when it's cold will sort you out.
Done that but worse… Forgot to put the guard on at all. Cue 20 mins of shaving the whole thing off 🤦🏼♂️
Did that with my head once, so ended up bald instead of crew cut 🙁
Once after not raising much for movember, I agreed to trim my beard to whatever the highest bidder told me & keep the look for the whole of December, my evil sister opted for me to have a chin strap (think Amish/leprechaun) & I genuinely got asked if I was a Muslim convert a couple of times.
I've always trimmed mine freehand, no guard on the clippers.
A friend went to a barber to trim his…
"Just go over the beard with a no. 2, please"
Bzzzzz
"No, I said beard"
He decided to have the rest crew cut, rather than just the stripe.
I got one of them ubiquitous hair trimmers during lockdown, it's a Braun with 2 fixed length guards and a wheel on the trimmer for fine adjustment.
Using the shorter guard on it's longest setting, it was getting a bit blocked so my Mrs Tthew gives it a knock to rid the buildup.
Zzziiip - "Oops!"
Zzziip - "Oops!"
Yep, bashed it onto the shortest length, and then put TWO nearly bald stripes up the back of my head just to make sure the first one wasn't a unique error. Oh how we laughed. And my work colleagues, they kept wandering up behind me then walking off tittering.
Of late I've seen a growing number of men sporting beard disasters. The worrying thing is I think it's deliberate, some shocking styles out there in the wild. Anything other than a full viking should be banned.
I generally sport a goatee, occasionally go full face, sometimes let it get pretty long. Was receiving considerable pressure to trim so took it all off recently, which apparently was the wrong decision. My 2 year old daughter came out with the amusing line of "daddy's got a new mouth" 🙂
had a fantastic beard, all long and viking, in great condition, along comes Covid and the RPE shortage so we couldn't get filters for our powered respirators. Had to shave the whole bloody lot off and go back to tight fitting full face masks, which is crap enough without then having to go through infectious clinical waste to prove that its micro biologically safe and not a risk to community transmission during transport and treatment.
thank buggery we are back to the joys of big powered, comfortable and cool spaceman outfits.
mind you lots of confined space work soon, so it will have to come back off again for SCBA
I need a new job that lets me look like wizard 🙁
My technique: short setting for neck; longer setting for face. I do neck last and leave on short setting. Always start a trim by checking setting and doing initial run up the middle of my chin. Sometimes do this after the pub, thereby running the risk of occasionally looking like Wolverine and having to stubble the lot.
No idea why I actually typed that out, but there you go. A lot of contenders for dull post of the week this week.
Trimming the beard in prep for a photo for the website of a company I'd just joined.
Dropped beard trimmer.
Picked up said trimmer and didn't think to check if the guard had been knocked.
Push trimmer through beard and am suddenly aware of how much hair is being removed.
Panic.
Thankfully, it was just under my chin so I was able to hide it...just.
Went to trim my beard a couple of days after shaving my balls. I feel your pain.
My 2 year old daughter came out with the amusing line of “daddy’s got a new mouth” 🙂
ive had various guises of beard since my daughter was born from long goatee to big bush and short and trimmed ..... but never clean shaven.
she was shown a photo of me and the wife when we were 23 recently. Identified mummy straight away - no idea who i was.
wife has ordered me not to shave it off after that even if it is a state most of the time.
I can't believe no-one has googled circle beard yet
I know my beard needs a trim when the guys start shouting
'what's wrong with big tomatoes?'
At me.
I screw mine up every time I trim it. I normally go to a barber but every now and then think sod it and attempt to trim it myself. This is when I end up with a short beard or occasionally down to stubble.
The only good bit is that you can give yourself some crazier styles as you cut it back. Friendly mutton chops, porn stache, Hitler moustache, half beard etc. I should really photograph them.
The only good bit is that you can give yourself some crazier styles as you cut it back. Friendly mutton chops, porn stache, Hitler moustache, half beard etc. I should really photograph them.
Doesn't everyone do this? Some good for scaring one's partner, others (the Barry McGuigan 🙁 less so)
Not a thread I expected to see Godwinned...
Every beard is a disaster IMHO
Whereas a completely clean shaven face on a man just looks a bit wrong to me. No idea why but anything from stubble to full on wizard just looks better than a shiny face bereft of hair IMO 😀
Doesn’t everyone do this? Some good for scaring one’s partner, others (the Barry McGuigan 🙁 less so)
The longer the beard beforehand the more crazy you can get!
Had a few trim disasters this one ended up with me raising a few quid for charity had to keep it like this for a week!!
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I can't remember what my chin looks like
Beards are easy. Pre A levels I found out that the best way is to do nothing to them. 40 plus years later I still do the same. Every summer I take the #1 clippers to it.
"styling" is tarty.
I m growing a beard right now and its a disaster in the making without any help from clippers. Just the fact two white tufts on my chin grow and twice the rate of the rest of it.
Every beard is a disaster IMHO
Perfect for hiding an ugly face though.
No personal tale of whiskery-woe to relate so a true story of someone else’s must suffice.
It’s been many many years since that clear night at The Castle. The time was festivities O’Clock at Ye Olde Ludlow Medieval Christmas Fayre.
There was an elderly fire-juggler onstage who ended shortly with approximately a half-Gandalf’s worth of his grey beard (not entirely unpredictably) aflame. Too many in the audience were too polite to laugh in my (hastily-muffled) estimation.
The fire-trim was mercifully brief yet furious. Effective. Much clapping and few sparks. Huzzah! He bows! All is well, make ye way to the roasted hog
Picked up said trimmer and didn’t think to check if the guard had been knocked.
Push trimmer through beard and am suddenly aware of how much hair is being removed.
Panic.
A shared trimmer in the TiRed household has seen similar. More than once. Son 1 likes to run a 8+, whereas I am a 3-4... He's back at uni now and I am using a Phillips OneBlade instead. Son 2 is a neater 3 and he has taken the other OneBlade off to college as well.
Not beard related but have a beard trimer related disaster.
At university, one evening afterwork I met up with my mates who'd be out drinking most the day to celebrate someone's birthday and were very merry at the time.
My mate, George grabs some beard clippers that were just lying to the side, puts it on the longest setting (which would easily clear my shortish hair) and has a swipe at my head.
He giggles "HaHa thats funny it felt like it cut your hair?"
I look down at my shoulder and grab a clump of hair and turn around angrily at George. "You f-ing did cut my hair!"
The others notice a runway strip on the side of my head and burst out in laughter!
Turns out George was using the clippers backwards so the long guard didn't do its job and took a slice of my hair ... ☹️ I ended up going out that night with a grade 0 trim as it was the only way to even out the mess!
Not quite beard but once had a hairdresser shave my side burns (which were obviously level with the bottom of my ears), at the top of my ears- why she thought that was a good idea I don't know. Didn't go back there again.
Done that but worse… Forgot to put the guard on at all. Cue 20 mins of shaving the whole thing off 🤦🏼♂️
I started growing a beard for the first time at the start of lockdown 1, got to a decent length and had kept it in check for the summer. Was meeting a friend for a ride for the first time since I started growing it (who has a mahoosive beard) and decided to give it a quick trim the night before. Except half way through the guard fell off the trimmer and I had a very obvious patch that was a lot shorter than the level 7 cut of the rest. Cue a very disheartening next 10 minutes as I took it all down to a no3 cut, staring at the remnants in the sink was awful. What made it even worse was when I met said friend the next day his first words were "I thought you'd grown a beard, not some bum fluff!". I showed him the pictures and he joined me in my grieving for the lost months of growing time. Have kept it relatively short ever since and the guard is glued on the bloody trimmer!
Is it really a beard if it is trimmed to a number ?
During the late 70's my uncle couldn't find his lighter to spark up a fag.
In his desperation for a smoke he tried to light up off the kitchen cooker and promptly set fire to his beard.
Is it really a beard if it is trimmed to a number ?
If the number's over 243 then probably yes. I describe my single figures effort (and what an effort) as stubble. Everyone else seems to call it a beard. Probably just to be polite.
During the late 70’s my uncle couldn’t find his lighter to spark up a fag.
In his desperation for a smoke he tried to light up off the kitchen cooker and promptly set fire to his beard.
Sometimes I think I might be missing the ubiquitous aromas of stale fag smoke, B.O.-infused crymplene and leaded petrol-fumes.
About time Ch4 did a Smells Of The Seventies special.
. I describe my single figures effort (and what an effort) as stubble. Everyone else seems to call it a beard. Probably just to be polite.
Man after my own heart 🙂 .....
Definitely in the if you’re using clippers then it ain’t really a beard camp.
I’m a year at least into my DILLGAF ‘look’. I might have cut an inch or so off earlier in the year but then again that have been last. I usually just hack a bit off (scissors) now and again. And hope it’s relatively even...
It is a bit like GoT and the there’s only 5 midget jokes (yup, I’ve heard them all, many times. Although the best was at a funeral tea (in Nov) in the church hall and the women serving teas said ‘you must be busy this time of year...’. Because everyone one knows Santa wears a dark suit and black tie). I usually leave the camera off on Teams to avoid the Gandalf comments.
Most disaster like I get is when I forget to tuck it in when eating soup or curry... about 18-20cm is the worst stage for that I reckon.
I can’t remember what my chin looks like
Me neither, I did once shave everything off when I went on holiday, because nobody knew me where I was going, just to see how I looked sans beard/‘tash. Just enough time for it to grow back enough nobody really noticed. It was a goatee back then, I let it grow out fully, but keep it a moderate length, I don’t do full-on Viking!
It gets trimmed once a week, when I give my head a once-over with the hair trimmer.
The hours/days/weeks I must have lost cumulatively over the years trying to keep my hair tidy, and my beard trimmed neatly. Ten minutes once a week - what a relief.
Is it really a beard if it is trimmed to a number ?
I don't have the guts to go full-on Viking but I'm definitely well past the stubble stage. I can get food stuck to it without trying and ice creams can be a bit messy so I'm counting it as a small beard.
