A work discussion with the youngsters I work with. They know I used to play a bit of football and are trying to persuade me to join them in their little 5-a side league.
I said no chance, I'd need 6 hours recovery in the bath for every hour played and some of them screwed up faces at thought of lying for ages in a soup of your own reconstituted sweat and skin flakes. Which when put like that, I can see a point.
HOWEVER; I then said that a 'monkey bath' is one of the last pleasures left which outweighs any yeuchiness and again they looked at me as if I was crackers, is a monkey bath not a universally recognised thing?
The argument bit (deep breath) - I recounted this story to my wife and she's now sowed a seed of doubt whether describing a monkey bath and making "ooh ooh ooh ah ah" noises as part of the description is a bit racist. I'm pretty certain no-one has taken it that way, and in fact her association is far more noteworthy than me making monkey noises with no reference or contextual closeness to race...but of course the casual racist might not recognise it in themself (I absolutely hope I'm not a casual racist or any other sort.... but now she's got my brain churning)
So:
Are baths yeuchy?
Is a monkey bath a thing?
Are we allowed to say monkey and do an impression in this context?
Monkey bath???? WTF?
I love a bath every now and then, but showers best generally.
As for racism, WTF is a monkey bath any way?
Maybe I’m missing something. . . wtf is a monkey bath?
It’s when I shave macaque.
Not a fan of baths, seems a waste of time and hot water.
Whilst I remember the joke, I've not heard a hot bath referred to as a monkey bath. I don't think it's offensive but it's not me thats going to feel on the wrong side of it.
In fact, when I first read 'monkey bath' I thought of this guy
One where the water is so hot you go "ooo ooo aah aah" as you get in.
Monkey bath - water so hot that when you lower yourself into it you go "ooh ohh ohh"
I love a bath. It's my muck snd I'll sit in it if I want to. Team bath post-football not such an attractive prospect.
Hate a bath, shower FTW!
As to monkey bath, I've never heard the term.
Love Baths (catch up on reading) - Hate Showers.
But I have more showers.
Monkey Bath - never heard of it!
I love a bath. Especially after a cold, wet ride (and obviously after the post-ride tea and crumpets...)
Moved to a new house last year and there's not a bath in the entire place (we have three self-catering units too). It's the biggest thing I miss about our last house...
Bath on an evening. Shower in the morning. Relaxing with a glass of wine and a book whist having a soak with the bath full of water, the hotter the better, takes some beating.
I LOVE a monkey bath. Well I USED to love a monkey bath, but I can’t read in the bath any more as my glasses just steam up. Can’t beat it though: hot bath, good book, background music and a cup of tea. Bliss
“I’m not washing my face with the same water my arse has been in” wise words from my Grandad. Shower all the way here. Only have a bath when my five year old wants me to get in with them. Also never heard of a monkey bath.
I know I'm the same age as the OP, so I'm disappointed so few got the monkey bath reference!
I'm a shower daily kind of guy, but love to relax in a hot bath occasionally, but more as a treat or to ease sore muscles than a preferred method of getting clean.
A monkey bath has never been a racist thing. It refers to the noises actual monkeys make, rather than being a racist taunt.
However, the fact that so few people know the joke, but know the racist connotation, makes me a) despair and b) think you'd have to be careful where and when you use it.
Bath on an evening. Shower in the morning. Relaxing with a glass of wine and a book whist having a soak with the bath full of water, the hotter the better, takes some beating.
+1
Shower for functional cleaning. Bath for soothing achy muscles.
Are baths yeuchy?
Is a monkey bath a thing?
Are we allowed to say monkey and do an impression in this context?
Yes.
Yes.
If we're not I'm a sad panda.
I enjoy a hot bath as much a japanese macaque.
After any initial “ooo ooo aah aah" it is just a matter quiet contemplation and connecting with one's inner-self :
om shanti
Shower all the way. First thing we did when we moved into this house was to get rid of the bath and stick a decent shower in.
I'm quite partial to a nice warm bath after an ice swim - but only once my cold toes have warmed up a bit.
For actually washing myself, it's always a shower.
Is monkey the new black?
Teenage boys not taking baths? No wonder you can no longer get Copydex in the shops.
Shower for speed but I do like a long soak in a hot bath.
I favour japanese style - shower to get clean then long soak in hot bath infused with rose petals and/or lotus blossoms; other petals and blossoms are available.
Alteratively, proper Finnish - which I've done with Finns at Saariselka and Oulu.
Hot shower, ice cold plunge pool - preferably outdoors, v hot sauna, drink beer; repeat, repeat, repeat.
Then go for dinner and drinks.
UK version - turkish bath, moving through hot rooms, interspersed with cold plunges; fantastic but now hard to find.
Look at the tide mark on that bath!
Where's the Cif???
monkey bath
Yes I believe it is where our lesser shaven northern cousins bathe with their families. Typically a yellow skip, which I've heard is often used for group defecation, on command of the alpha male, before promptly vacating said skip. Apparently It's some kind of bonding thing.
Shower for functional cleaning. Bath for soothing achy muscles.
This is the way.
Donkey boiler shower at a campsite FTW.
Meh, can't get image to load.
I'm quite astonished that "monkey bath" isn't wider known.
The notion that it's a racist term is utterly ludicrous, if anything it's your wife who is racist for associating monkeys with foreigners in the first place. A hot bath makes you go "ooh, ah," monkeys go "ooh, ah," as far as I'm aware this is not a stereotypical characteristic of brown people.
Never been a huge fan of baths. I genuinely can't remember the last bath I had.
Baths are mingin' in the 1st place and even worse you can't have a piss in the bath.
Monkey bath is a thing but probably showing your age with it. HR are more likely to be in contact about retirement planning than discrimination.
I’m quite astonished that “monkey bath” isn’t wider known.
Even fewer know what spanner water is though.
and even worse you can’t have a piss in the bath.
...I think it's allowed if you are under 8 years old! 🤣
It’s when I shave macaque.
👏🐵
Lived in the same house for 14 years, I never fitted in the seemingly short bath, so ripped it out and replaced with a walk in shower with the largest rain head they sold. I love it, a bath from time to time would be ok, but I've not had one for more years than I can recall.
As for the monkey component, never called it that, but definitely had those baths. If you sound like a monkey getting into it then the only racist element is relating it a race other than actual monkeys, which it doesn't sound like you were doing.
Raise by a colleage this week, is it ok to call a chocolate brownie a brownie?
Raise by a colleage this week, is it ok to call a chocolate brownie a brownie?
Your colleague needs to have word with him/her/their self.
I have a shallow MonkeyBath™ every morning
1. It wakes up my knees.
2. I get 20 minutes listening to 5Live news in peace and quiet.
3. The bathroom doesn't have a shower in it.
We have a shower in the en-suite, but see points 1 & 2.
If I come back from a muddy ride I have a shower because a) sitting in mud soup isn't appealing and b) I'm not messing up my bathroom when I have the chance to filth up the wife's en-suit.
I don't think that the term is racist, but I haven't talked to any monkeys about it.
Football? Bath? Need to be careful to keep the fags dry though.
Love baths but not had one for ages...and I miss it.
Personally, no issues with that term as I know what it refers to, but it isn't something I tend to use to describe how hot the bath is - at the same time I'm not sure 'Hot enough to make a man sterile' is also that appropriate, but it is another term I've heard being used. It isn't really a term that gets used often these days, so suspect many folk won't be aware of it...and even less chance for people who just don't do baths in general.
Out all day on the bike, followed by washing the bike then running a steaming hot bath and a soak of 2 hours or so - with a snooze in there - utter bliss, but also aware that it really doesn't appeal to others, but as I'm not sharing the bath with them, I don't care if they don't think it is nice or not. Put any reading material in the bathroom before starting the bath - it stops the pages going curly...same with any reading glasses - stay in the room as the bath runs and your glasses won't steam up.
Saying that, if I am manky, then I give my legs a hosing to get the mank off before sitting in my self-run hot tub.
Love a monkey bath, but not had one for years (is a monkey shower a thing?)
It's not racist to say oo-oo-ah-ah when describing the sound a monkey makes which is where a monkey bath.
K
Best thing I've discovered recently is a cold shower. Been doing them at least once a day, twice a day when I exercise since the middle of January. From starting off and only managing about 15 seconds I can do about two minutes now with the temperature right down whilst remaining relaxed with controlled deep breathing. It's the best thing ever and definitely reduces if not kills delayed muscle soreness onset.
Hot shower first to wash then drop the temperature right down and get on with it!!!
Leaves you with a nice tingly feeling all over as you warm back up. Plus it kills any morning brain fog, wide awake after that.
What Cougar said.
The notion that it’s a racist term is utterly ludicrous, if anything it’s your wife who is racist for associating monkeys with foreigners in the first place. A hot bath makes you go “ooh, ah,” monkeys go “ooh, ah,” as far as I’m aware this is not a stereotypical characteristic of brown people.
A friend grew up in Brazil where they* don't do baths because you're swilling in your own bum juice.
* *this* might be a racist stereotype.
Would a navy shower be homophobic?
+1 to calling them Monkey baths. Think there is a joke about what the monkey says getting in the bath?
Used to ride in a group & one one of them was called "Monkey Rider" as he made monkey noises on tricky descents.
you’re swilling in your own bum juice.
I have never evacuated my bowels whilst having a bath** What is wrong with Brazilians?
** Except once when I was about 3 or 4 years old and sharing a bath with my sister - she got out screaming and never shared a bath with me again. Ironically we were living in Argentina at the time, so not that far from Brazil. True story.
If your bath is "Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum" the it's probably too hot - both for monkeys and humans.
Raise by a colleage this week, is it ok to call a chocolate brownie a brownie?
Your colleague needs to have word with him/her/their self.
It's such a minefield, isn't it. Except, we're not allowed to use the 'mine' anymore because Hitler used an anagram of it in his book and he was a racist. 🙁
😀
Ironically we were living in Argentina at the time, so not that far from Brazil
Perhaps the inspiration for the musical 'Excreta'
there’s not a bath in the entire place
Thoughts and prayers Chips!
Monkey gets in a bath and says “ooo ooo aah aah aah”.
Other monkey says "Now look Nigel, if it's too cold just add some hot water"
Sauna and cold showers.
That's good.
Ice cold hosepipe and a hot tub is good too. Need a quick shower before you start though. And a long one when you finish.
Had a bath the other day, first time since 2021.
I've never heard of a monkey bath but now I have I realise I've never liked 'em.
I prefer a boiled frog - warm/tepid on entry, then once submerged add hot water until just about tolerable.
The bath make or break - lighting. Modern bathrooms are too well lit - a long soak with wine and a book is ruined by harsh cool white light. And I'm not going to break out candles (candles are for power cuts - end of).
Is a monkey bath a thing?
A commonly used term in our house. Mrs Binners has her bath so hot that I don’t know how she doesn’t need medical treatment afterwards, hence the regular ‘monkey bath’ comment
candles are for power cuts – end o
Tell the nuns that.
...the fact that so few people know the joke, but know the racist connotation, makes me a) despair...
I don't feel this is a reason for despair. Leaving aside the bath joke, I feel it's a good thing that so many people are aware of the racist connotations and are these days far more likely to perceive it as a bad thing.
On the rare occasion I have a bath, I always feel the need to finish off with a shower.
Not sure I've ever used the term "monkey bath" but I have ridden a monkey trail where the nettles have closed in from both sides until they meet in the middle.
As for the racism angle, breaking the association between certain races and monkeys shouldn't stop people from referencing monkeys. Arguably, if you stop referencing monkeys, you've not broken the association at all, just buried it at the back of the cupboard. However, I realise I have no position of authority on this subject.
This is a live post as I’m lay here stewing in my own filth.
I like a bath, never heard the term “monkey bath” before. I need a good long hot soak to ease my aches and to help draw out all the bramble and rose thorns I have stuck in me.
Always shower after to wash my hair so doesn’t matter about the filth I’m festering in.
On a side note, why do you get out of the shower wetter than when you get out of the bath?
If you asked any reasonable person if they fancied wallowing in even tiny amounts of their own diluted sweat, shit and piss, thed's probably say no.
One of the advantages of having hot water tank set to scolding hot is you can top the bath up with hot water and it doesn't take much more water to make the bath really hot again (if you're in for a long period)
Hot bath on a cold day, especially after being out biking, is a great pleasure. And these days often involves a micro-snooze.
Never heard of a monkey bath though. That just makes me think of those Japanese monkeys enjoying the hot springs.
If you asked any reasonable person if they fancied wallowing in even tiny amounts of their own diluted sweat, shit and piss, thed’s probably say no.
TBH the kicker is we all get to drink it ,(eventually) 🙂
I have never evacuated my bowels whilst having a bath** What is wrong with Brazilians?
** Except once when I was about 3 or 4 years old and sharing a bath with my sister – she got out screaming and never shared a bath with me again.
Oi! That's my poo/bath story. I thought the brown submarine was funny but she didn't...
shower first, bath after.
If you asked any reasonable person if they fancied wallowing in even tiny amounts of their own diluted sweat, shit and piss, thed’s probably say no.
Are you a homeopath?
