badly named products

Water-repellent stretch material

Additional stretch inserts at the bottom hem

Seem to have all the bases covered....

Laser-cut holes on the inner thighs provide ventilation

Won’t be hot and steamy enough for me

The Suzuki Swift. No it bloody ain't.

http://colourswheelchair.com/spazz/

I'm reasonably sure the Pschitt mentioned above is intentional. They run ad campaigns like "Pschitt Yourselves."

The Suzuki Swift. No it bloody ain’t.

I've held for some time that any car with a fast-sounding name is actually the opposite. Eg, the Austin Allegro.

See also various caravans, Swift again, Rapido etc.

The classic was the GM and badges at the time, Nova.   No Spanish speakers were available at the naming process.

I think the Austin Allegro has ruined the word ‘allegro’ for a generation…

Pschitt

It was intended I believe to be onomatopoetic with the sound of opening the bottle.  Its been going since the 50s

Toyota MR2 in French is MR Deux which sounds like Merde which means shit

There was much laughter about this and their lack of language awareness.

They then called their racing division Toyota Racing Division which was fine until all their logos abbreviated this to Turd, sory TRD

I am sure I have heard the word "Pajero" used as a swear word/insult  by Bolivian taxi drivers.

And Mitsubishi called their 4x4 the Shogun in the UK but everywhere else it was the Pajero (Spanish for "****er" or "tosser". A man who is known for being a chronic masturbator...and usually proud of it! A Proud Masturbator. Same as Pajillero)

Any pickup truck special edition with a crass 'tough' naming.
They should all default to 'First Class Throbber' edition naming.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2005/oct/17/shopping.health

Yet another badly named car, the Hyundai Terracan.  Surely two words never to be used in car nomenclature either seperately or together are "Terror" and "Can".

Sorry for going off topic - unlike MOaA's selection, the Pajero is very well named.

Any pickup truck special edition

I thought the rules were that the name of a pickup truck had to sound like a brand of condom.

Rolls Royce Silver Mist was fitting in Germany, and the Audi e-tron pronounced étron anywhere French.

I buy Bimbo bread in Spain and used to buy Bonka coffee.

My old maps have STW on.

Clio I suspect was deliberate and the Greek muse an alibi:

https://www.autocadre.com/actualites/1422-Pub-interdite-renault-clito.html

Renault are quite into Greek names, Koleos is another one.

TWINGO on the other hand is innocent and quite nice as is ZOE

TWIst, sWING and tanGO.

Bumpits. Sadly not as entertaining, nor as anatomical, as one might imagine.

I thought the rules were that the name of a pickup truck had to sound like a brand of condom.

There's a pub quiz round to be had in that. "Truck or F***" will make a nice follow-up to the "Bird or Bollocks" round I did on the last one.

Hyundai Trajet. They couldn't name the diesel Trajet D (actually marketed as Trajet TD)

24 posts in and no mention of Cove bikes?

I thought the rules were that the name of a pickup truck had to sound like a brand of condom.

Just like all caravan names are made better by addition of 'anal' before or after them....? (©copywright @CaptainFlasheart I believe)

They then called their racing division Toyota Racing Division which was fine until all their logos abbreviated this to Turd, sory TRD

Now I may be misremembering this, it was a long time ago, but I'm sure the three trim levels of Citroën BX diesels were the TZD, TXD and TDR in the UK for the same reason.

<p>Cove wouldn’t get away with that now…some such az the Hummer needed a wide ranging knowledge others such as the hj not really subtle enough!</p>

Ford Pinto, which is a Ford Dick in spanish.

Nom Nom

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Once I’d finished s****ing at the marketing copy, I wondered if there were any other unfortunately named products or brands out there.

Are you sure this is an accidental bad name choice?  Let's face it if they'd called them "biker baggies" or something similarly naff it wouldn't be a thread of its own with two inbound links from a prominent cycling forum!    Your "naming disaster" might be the SEO guy's dream.

SEO guy’s dream

Maybe I'm the SEO guy 🙂

I'm not, but there are a surprising number of trousers out there called passion pants and none of them are on the love honey website, which makes me sad because it's such a missed opportunity.

24 posts in and no mention of Cove bikes?

Doesn't count if it's on purpose.

some of these are just translation issues rather than badly named in their own language as per OP’s example.

I wonder if the Ford/ porn mag naming was intentional with Escort, Fiesta & even Galaxy (publisher of such mags).

Audi’s electric/hybrid badging is e-tron. Étron is apparently French for turd.

I must admit to giggles at Bonka coffee, it’s actually mad stuff it’s made up of a mix of normal beans and 30% of beans that are roasted with sugar.

"I’ve held for some time that any car with a fast-sounding name is actually the opposite. Eg, the Austin Allegro."

My Allegro was pretty fast in 1988 coming down The Mound towards Princes Street when the brake master cylinder failed.

There is of course the Nissan Cedric.  their big luxury car IIRC.  A very aspirational name

Just like all caravan names are made better by addition of ‘anal’ before or after them….? (©copywright @CaptainFlasheart I believe)

Absolutely , one of madam and myselfs favourite travelling games

I had forgotten it was flashys doing, a tremendous legacy

I googled to see if there were any I had forgotten and found this list : https://worldwideinterweb.com/worst-product-names-ever/

I particularly like the Soup for Sluts and Urinal hot drink.

found this list

I remember taking a Canadian friend shopping one time, she saw Brains' Faggots and about lost her mind. She was sending photos back home, "you'll never believe this!" to her gay brother.

This is either urban-legend or the truth: In the 70s aspiring Japanese car makers strove to enter the US market where the Ford Mustang was best-seller. Those clever chaps at Mitsubishi Motors developed a sleek, 2 door and asked their marketing department to come up a suitably horsey name. Somehow lost in translation - Stallion became Starion.

Not a product ‘name’ story but a western company strove to enter the market in Africa where high levels of illiteracy meant that the labels on canned goods simply featured a picture of their contents. The marketing gurus at this particular company decided they’d stick with their branding strategy until riots were reported in the shops selling their new merchandise. Apparently, tinned fruit with labels featuring smiling children didn’t go down well.

Clipless pedals

Strawberry Colon. From the country that gave us the aforementioned Calpis and Pocari Sweat.

The Suzuki Swift. No it bloody ain’t.

Depends on the model though.

Surely two words never to be used in car nomenclature either separately or together are “Terror” and “Can”.

*sigh* It’s Terra, as in Earth

There is of course the Nissan Cedric.  their big luxury car IIRC.  A very aspirational name

Mrs Scape's first car was a 1978 Datsun 140J. In some markets it was known as the Nissan Violet.

@CountZero, I know that.

Many years ago i drove a Fiat Tempra TurD estate. Liveried in faded flat red paint it was unaffectionatly known as The Brick.

Caravans are a rich vein it would seem. Saw one the other day called a Pastiche, and wondered why you want to call something that...

Shop in Austria

Drink in Italy

Croatian ice cream

Compassionate Conservatism

Pocari Sweat is amazing BTW.

Not a product exactly, but the Home Office's 'Leave to Remain' makes no sense at face value.

Obvious ones:
Vagisil
Anusol

Dog diarrhoea treatment called Diarsanyl…