[Closed] At home farting etiquette...

We just let rip and blame one of the cats, who both fart like troopers...

So, my missus gets angry when I do, yet when she trumps its the funniest thing in the world, a typical case of double standards.

So it not just me.

Being on proper farting terms is a cornerstone of any relationship.
Dump her.

Husband asks: "shall we try a different position tonight?". Wife replies:" OK you stand over the ironing board and I'll sit on the sofa and fart".

Farting is revenge for her using your razor.
When i do I blame the dog. Poor things been dead nearly 10 years

My missus is normally pretty discrete apart from her daily morning blow-off. I don't think shes developed the skills needed to trump in her sleep so 2 to 3 mins after she gets up every morning she lets rip an almighty fart. I've trained myself for the little and often method throughout the day (and night), I think it's healthier.

themightymowgli - Member
...When i do I blame the dog...

Our dog gets sent out of the room when she drops one. The advantage is she also gets up and leaves the room looking sheepish when I do, so the wife thinks it's the dog.

How about that for a well trained dog? 🙂

I blame the dog as well. Still alive, but hard to use as an excuse when we're on holiday 3000 miles away. Still tried it tho. I tell my family i'm 'sharing' stuff with them and they should be grateful. This isn't a universally held view to be fair.

Oh and when our dog does fart, he looks round suspiciously at his arse and then leaves the room with a look of disgust. He is a labrador tho so not terribly bright.

Jeez my wife sounds like someone starting an old chainsaw or a drowning ducks last quack.
If you can't fart in front of eachother it's a sad, sad thing.

So, my missus gets angry when I do, yet when she trumps its the funniest thing in the world, a typical case of double standards.

I think what you need to be doing is capturing some of your most potent emissions in a jam jar so that you can save them up for super release at a poignant moment..

Mother's day perhaps..?
Or the morning after she's had a night out, offer her a lie in and breakfast in bed.. bring forth the brekkie and serve it with a jar of farts..

Then walk out the door and into the rest of your life

Not farting in front of one another is very unhealthy

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Dear God, I'm surprised you can't hear MrsBouys botty burps.
She's quite blatant, I'm more reserved but we do "do it" in each others company, rude not too. 😆

blame it on the dog, the real reason for getting a dog

i work for a f1 team and it's pretty bad when someone lets rip in the office, it's known as opening the DRS flap, sometimes the flap gets stuck and you have to head for the pit to try and get it shut again,

there is a DRS zone which starts outside the factory gate and extends right into the village, lots of peeps wait until then, this results in a lot of hasty overtaking as you don't want to get stuck in the dirty air

Loud and proud is the only true way!!

Just let it rip is what I say.

Surprisingly, I'm single 😉 but my mates missus sends me into the yard when I fart and I will say sorry but my mate says " no you're not, if you was sorry you wouldn't have done it"

I'm always getting shouted at about it but I agree with the earlier comment about the ladies finding it funny when they do it but offensive when guys do.

I actually couldn't fart about a month ago and felt really ill.

I find that the first blatant bottom burp is very much a pivotal moment in any new relationship!

In our house on a Sunday night, after we've done a long bike ride and had beans for lunch there's lots of trumping going on! 😛

I think everywhere apart from the dinner table is fair game.

My misses doesn't mind the farting, it's the holding her head under the duvet she complains about!

I hid mine for some time (I'm stealthy, again the little and often approach FTW) but one evening we were both in the bathroom and the handle failed leaving us both locked in.

I had to fart and I had to think fast as this was a rumbler. I explained, turned the tap on to mask some of the sound and proceeded to drop a rather loud airbiscuit. Missus creases up at the sound and my sheepish expression combined with the rather ineffectual tap-turning-on.

I then had to break back into the flat through the kitchen window and smash through the door to get her out of said bathroom. As much as I felt I slipped in her estimation due to the guff, I also rescued her from being locked in and became an athletic burglar.

I may have broke wind, but I also broke even. Life's better without being anally retentive. It's even better if you can add some comedy timing to delivery.

colp - Member
Being on proper farting terms is a cornerstone of any relationship.

on and on - Member
If you can't fart in front of eachother it's a sad, sad thing.

yunki - Member
Not farting in front of one another is very unhealthy

All of these, after 30+ years together & despite many other problems in our lives we still laugh like drains at each others trumping 😀

both pay the mortgage so both let rip when one wants.

Holding heads under duvet (camping), is for amateurs.
Fart into your cupped hand and throw it. Try it you'll be surprised how far it will travel.
The Mrs and always laugh at this one, well I do.

Ah, the old "stench trench grenade".
I go for the Sweeney Todd myself, cup fart, hold back of wife's head with left hand, cupped right hand over nose & mouth.
She loves it.

CUFF CAKE!!!!

I can fart as I please.

It's the smell that is the restricting factor

You don't want to throw them that's too obvious, let one rip silently and then ask if anyone can smell popcorn..

In the words of the Beastie Boys fight for the right to be farty. Ok may be they didn't say that but come on let rip....! Its your ass 😈

I still remember the conversation MrsH and I had when we agreed that we'd reached the point that we could fart in front of each other... I'd argue that this forms one of the corner stones of our relationship...

Doesn't stop us both blaming the dog tho... Poor lad...

Apparently, farting loudly in front of her mother was pushing the boundaries, but other than that, its all go in our house. Can shake the joists at the drop of a hat, me...............

Was on holiday with an old girlfriend years ago.
She was lying naked on the bed, face down, asleep.
I was sat on the balcony, looking back at her from the bottom of the bed.

She farted.

Amazing how much a bum vibrates 😆

I blame the kids whenever possible...

A fart in our house is often accompanied by the phrase 'scuse me, my bottom bracket's gone'. 😐

Combined age - 96.
You're NEVER too old for a fart joke.