Ashes 2013
 

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[Closed] Ashes 2013

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Johnson takes wickets,
He takes them all day.
You flew him to England,
Why didn't he play?


 
Posted : 07/12/2013 9:54 pm
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Cheerio Kevin.

You can piss off to the IPL whenever you want.

He doesn't want to be there. He doesn't want to apply himself. Time to cut our losses.

I was thinking 'I can't believe that' when I saw it, but of course I can believe it. He's done it so many times before trying to be THE MAN.

Well he can be THE MAN in the IPL panto.


 
Posted : 07/12/2013 10:44 pm
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Australia declare...

[url= http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5535/11260154113_e10e762ca8_c.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5535/11260154113_e10e762ca8_c.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/mark_farrell/11260154113/ ]A forlorn hope[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/mark_farrell/ ]Mark-Farrell[/url], on Flickr


 
Posted : 07/12/2013 11:54 pm
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Well played Captn Clarke. Attack attack attack.


 
Posted : 07/12/2013 11:57 pm
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Not many people there are there.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:01 am
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F@£? Off cook


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:06 am
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Shit. He'll be crucified but I can have sympathy, we can't let him just dictate the game to us.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:08 am
 grum
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Oh lordy.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:14 am
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That beats even kp for stupidity. Wtf was Cook thinking?

It's filling up here, the stand to my right is incomplete so no seats there

And why on earth have they not brought out bell at three


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:15 am
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Is there something in the water down there? I thought Cook had half a brain?
Why don't England declare now and go and stand on the naughty step and have a think about what they have done.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:20 am
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What was he thinking?

Cook's usually pretty good on the pull and hook. Warne and Hussain on sky were saying that they thought England needed to take Johnson on a bit and make him think a bit about it, rather than just allow him to dictate terms. Like I say, I can sympathise, was not as brainless as kp.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:22 am
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Hmm, I've been extolling the virtues of the five day game to a few of my bosses this week. On Monday they might be asking if I can count 😛

Almost can't bring myself to listen, though it's possible that Boycott might have a humorous meltdown in the commentary box so it's probably worth it. I think the young English players will learn a lot on this tour.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:27 am
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Two down already . This will be over by mid-afternoon.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 12:51 am
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spacemonkey - Member
Two down already . This will be over by mid-afternoon.

Could be but that would be handy as we are off to watch the Crit in town with some beer and Paella this afternoon.

On the next test there should have been a blank team sheet put up this morning in the England dressing room, names added when you prove it - no exceptions.

The only real positive is I'm not paying Murdoch a penny to watch this cerap


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 3:15 am
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well played root.

thats about all the positives I have


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 7:05 am
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thats about all the positives I have

Nah, in the grand scheme if things, most played pretty well actually. Those cursing kp who didn't watch his innings should probably retract those curses now, he played bloody hard for his 50. We will lose this, but if we make MJ bowl until after lunch, nicely playing prior back into form in the process....


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:24 am
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He probably 'played bloody hard' because even he realises what a lot of shit he is going to be in after that first innings dismissal. A hammed-up 'look how cautious I am' 50 in a losing cause is not going to cut it this time.

If we are taking solace from making Mitchell Johnson have to bowl a few more overs for his wickets, then we really are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Just like when we used to have a razzle dazzle 50 from Gough or a consolation win at the Oval.

England need a complete 'factory reset' before Perth. It really is time for Flower et al to earn their corn. Difficult to do anything much with the tests back to back, but they have to try.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 1:41 pm
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He probably 'played bloody hard' because even he realises what a lot of shit he is going to be in after that first innings dismissal. A hammed-up 'look how cautious I am' 50 in a losing cause is not going to cut it this time.

I hope you're applying such anger towards Cook and Carberry also? Stupid shots when all you need to do is hang around for two days, the runs being immaterial.

Carberry had a good first innings, but threw his second away.

Cook was perhaps unlucky in his first innings, but should have moved his feet, and if he had, he would have hit it. His second innings was a joke - he had no need to be anywhere near that ball.

KP was an idiot in the first innings, but batted incredibly well in the second, and was very unlucky to get out in the manner he did.

Root was out stupidly in his first innings.

Bell was also out stupidly in the second innings.

So, lots of batsmen not performing at the level they should have - why focus solely on KP?


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:10 pm
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If you look at this innings in isolation and add 40 for a non idiotic cook who should know better than 350 is quite feasible. That's a good score for a 2nd innings.
I'm just looking at the positives 😆

I'm past caring about the remaining results but more interested in what happens with the team and how they address their issues after this test.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:30 pm
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Sorry there, please allow me to interject with a non-pisstaking possibly stupid question...

When faced with an unachievable (in the real world) target and a draw's the best you can hope for, what's to stop batters just blocking any remotely dangerous ball into the ground and maybe having a swat at anything that looks safely playable? Or is this just impossible in the way that say, you can park ten men behind the ball in footie but eventually the other team will score?

Apologies again...educate a philistine please.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:36 pm
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Next test; bring in Bresnan and Bairstow for the two spinners?


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:39 pm
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When faced with an unachievable (in the real world) target and a draw's the best you can hope for, what's to stop batters just blocking any remotely dangerous ball into the ground and maybe having a swat at anything that looks safely playable?

Absolutely nothing, in theory. This is one of the few occasions where having a batsman like Boycott would have been quite useful (who, incidentally, I think I heard above the roar of the crowd when Cook gave his wicket away - apoplectic would be an understatement). The problem is, if you're a batsman like KP, or punchy bogan Warner, it's very hard to pull your own attacking game back, and often you'll see aggressive batsmen trying to be defensive, but looking tentative/nervous and just getting out, where if they'd tried their usual swashbuckling, they may well have scored heavily. This is why I continue to rate KP highly - defensive may not be his natural game, but he can do it, and do it well when needed. Compare that to other big hitters such as Warner and Watson and it's easy to see the difference.

I get what Cook was trying to do - trying to wrest the initiative away from Johnson. That's fine, but do it with the bad ball, and do it once you've played yourself in for long enough to be able to better judge the bounce. Cook's dismissal was one of the softest and most stupid I've ever had the displeasure of watching, especially given how the match was poised. Yes, he can hook and pull quite well, but there's a time and a place, and facing an ungettable total, or occupying the crease for two days to save the game, this was neither the time nor the place. A quick check of where the fielder was wouldn't have gone amiss either!

Perhaps after a few overs, when Johnson was a bit more tired, trying to hit him out of the attack would be a good idea. But I think Root and KP played it much better - defend against Johnson, and milk the guy at the other end. That's the way to play unplayable bowling: defend it, and get your runs off the other guy to relieve the pressure. I thought Johnson was going to lamp Smith after he gave KP those two sixes to let the batsmen off the hook.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:49 pm
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Ah ok, fairy nuff. Thanks.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:57 pm
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one of the few occasions that having a player like boycott an advantage? That's a bit harsh on someone who had to carry the batting more than most.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 9:58 pm
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one of the few occasions that having a player like boycott an advantage? That's a bit harsh on someone who had to carry the batting more than most.

Perhaps, but even as an ardent test cricket fan, the concept of the type of game Boycs extolls the virtues of bores me senseless. (Apart from the visual of his gran with a stick of rhubarb).


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:02 pm
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as zokes notes only cetain players can do it

Atherton was the one I saw play it best but most players just cannot resist the temptation of hitting the ball and being defensive is not how they play best.

Pietersen - though i know nothing of this innings at all - is one who hates not scoring and cannot seem to help himself doing this- its his, and many others, instincts basically. Boycs and Athertons main instinct one was to not get out so it was easier for them.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:02 pm
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Pietersen - though i know nothing of this innings at all - is one who hates not scoring and cannot seem to help himself doing this- its his, and many others, instincts basically.

As good an innings as I've seen him play (his last visit to the Adelaide Oval excepted...). Defended well against MJ, brutally punished the other guy. He worked out where he was likely to get his runs from, and made sure he did - this meant Johnson had no pressure to build to tempt the rash shot against his own bowling. A millimetre higher and the ball that got him would have missed the bails when he chopped on. Very unlucky, and same goes for Root - Haddin deserves kudos for snagging that one.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:08 pm
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On this occasion I agree that Cook and Carberry are just as culpable as Pietersen. But neither of them have a history of dressing room upset nor have they been directly responsible (no matter what he says) for an England captain resigning. Nor have they, to my knowledge texted their mates in an opposition dressing room about what a 'doerce' their own captain is, in their opinions.

Just wait five years or so until this lot retire. There will not be a complimentary word to be heard about Pietersen the person. There will be numerous examples of him undermining the team ethic, though. Most people leave their first county with an end of season piss up. Not with their captain chucking their kit off the balcony.

On the subject of compulsive and stupid hooking (and to stop talking about bloody Pietersen), does anyone remember Andrew Hilditch? He was a richly talented player who just could not or would not stop playing a particular shot, even when there were no percentages in it. Look how he ended up.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:17 pm
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If KP had kept his wafty angled bat straight, he wouldn't have to have been considered unlucky.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:19 pm
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Dressing room upset is nothing new though is it Danny? Anyway, shall we look at kp's credit column 🙂


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:23 pm
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In answer to dd's query about shutting up shop completely.

I think it is mainly a matter of pride more than anything else. A sort of "you buggers are going to have to shift me because I'm giving you nothing".

Then, in the realms of possibility rather than probability comes the potential that it might just lead to a legendary rearguard.

Think Atherton vs Donald and co at Joburg 1995. In fact, think Anderson and Panesar at Cardiff in 2009.

But really, at the end of the day, it is about being a fighter and not a quitter. And you don't have to smash the bowling to all parts to be a fighter. Sometimes dropping every straight ball at your feet, wearing a few and leaving everything else alone shows a bit of 'ticker'.

My last post about Pietersen because I hate talking about him - it is what he'd want after all.

He is tolerated because of his 'potential' to put in a match winning performance. He is a pretty good test batsman. But for me the downsides actually do outweigh the 'credit column'. That is it from me on Pietersen. I'll leave it to him to change my mind, but I don't think he will.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 10:41 pm
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My last post about Pietersen because I hate talking about him - it is what he'd want after all.

Good. But I quite like talking about him, and am happy to sing his praises when he deserves it. Yesterday he deserved it.

He is a pretty good test batsman.

He is. He is indeed:

Competition Test
Matches 101
Runs scored 7,935
Batting average 48.00
100s/50s 23/33
Top score 227


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 11:05 pm
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Is it raining over there yet?


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 11:15 pm
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Was earlier.


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 11:19 pm
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One of the great things about cricket IMO is that things have a habit of balancing themselves out in the end. So after this summer, I expected a tough time from the cricket gods/karma for England - just not this tough nor this dramatic. I hope that it doesn't rain and that Aussie get the result that they deserve overnight. By then (assuming some humility) we should have paid our dues at the altar of the cricketing gods and the rest of the series can be a bit closer.

One thing is for sure, the coaching staff/hullabaloo will earn the money from now this point on (hopefully).

So decisions, decision. Watch an hour and hope its all over quickly or go to bed instead?


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 11:29 pm
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I guess thats a delayed start if covers only coming off now. Easy decision to make. So 3:00am finish?


 
Posted : 08/12/2013 11:57 pm
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Words fail me with that first over.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:13 am
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*************************** idiot


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:16 am
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Is it raining over there yet?

Bloody well rained on me on my commute to work. Clearly doesn't have the decency to carry on raining now the cricket's started. I'm quite glad I was in the lab and missed that first over...

By then (assuming some humility) we should have paid our dues at the altar of the cricketing gods and the rest of the series can be a bit closer.

What are you whittering on about?


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:24 am
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**** knows, I think he's on crack or something Zokes.

Hope that Prior stays in for a bit.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:33 am
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It has been good to see and England batsman bat for a change 250 for the win


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:37 am
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Just when it was looking settled


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:45 am
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Here we go. Jimmy and Monty to bat out the day...


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:54 am
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I thought the crims had a grave dislike of bodyline 😕


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 1:00 am
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Yes that and underarm 😉


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 1:01 am
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And that, is that.

Geoffrey Boycott, Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special

"What's more disappointing, even than all the poor shots, is that Australia aren't that good a side."


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 1:05 am
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the only thing we could have achieved today was to get the defeat under 200, fail...

Hopefully some of the poor performers have learnt something and some others have picked up a bit of confidence from the 2nd innings that and get a coin with 2 heads


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 1:06 am
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Congrats to Australia, another thumping win and I fully expect a 3rd at Perth.

Total shit from England. Total shit.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 6:54 am
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And the next test is on Friday.... At the WACA. It has the potential to make the size of the first two defeats look quite small.

One wonders what is going on in the England camp, apart from lack of leadership and team spirit.

Hey ho! Just like the old days!


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 7:26 am
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It has the potential to make the size of the first two defeats look quite small.

Or they lean how to play the high ball (get out of the way of it), and dish up some of their own. It's not as if we don't have some of the world's best seam bowlers ourselves! As Stuart Broad demonstrated in the first innings at the Gabba, it's not as if their batting is much more resilient when tested correctly.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 7:35 am
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Coaching staff have a job on. Because 3 days isn't enough to fix any technical flaws, not that they are the issue - you can assume this lot can all play, otherwise they wouldn't be there (and their records prove they can) - and you'd be daft to try and just scramble minds even further. Sure, there are limitations but they all know how to play within their limitations.

No, in 3 days they have to convince them all that they CAN do it, and get back to the simple basics of watch the ball, hit the ball.

We talked before the series started about broad's mentality and the way he'd use their press' attack on him to motivate himself (and he did too, if you remember his 6 or 7-for in the first test). We need the same now from the batters, do they really want to come home not only beaten but also going down in history that they lost their bottle against a bloke who they dominated so badly last time that he nearly packed the game in.

FFS boys. Is that what you want this tour to be remembered as? You've got 3 days, switch off for a day or two, get your minds straight and then come back and get on Johnson's case, see if you can make him cry again.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 7:37 am
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The issue is not with ability or skill, even technique. The current England team are capable of beating all other teams when they all play to their potential. It seems to me that the issue is in the dressing room. No team mentality, or there has been such over confidence that personal inter-changing room bets on personal stats have taken hold.

Either way, 4 day's to sort themselves out, or it's going to be a whitewash.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 8:04 am
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slackalice - Member
,..or there has been such over confidence

+1combined with our attempts in the summer to position ourselves as a nasty (yeh, right) team applyimg cheating, gamesmanship, arrogance and surliness to new levels. Good to get a reality check and our due comeuppance. Hopefully lessons will be learned and quickly. This is test cricket and arguably (the Ashes) the pinnacle of the game. Let's treat it as such and show some true character.

As I posted on the other thread yesterday, comparing the beliefs and values of the All Backs (yesterday's Torygraph) with England 1X1 says all that needs to be said. Good to see beefy giving the back room team some crap before play last night. A lot of it starts there IMO.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 8:17 am
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d with our attempts in the summer to position ourselves as a nasty (yeh, right) team applyimg cheating, gamesmanship, arrogance and surliness to new levels

Are you really saying they exceed the Aussies previous bests/ worsts or what the Aussies are currently doing?

We all know you think its not cricket [ Boom Tish], and your view is not without merit, but you do somewhat over egg it, hence the crack comment.

Basically the batters have all failed that is what the problem is
They seem to want to attack the bowlers despite being out of form and this is what is needed.

Hard to see England bounce back but they surely cannot do any worse.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 11:10 am
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It's not as if we don't have some of the world's best seam bowlers ourselves!

Big difference between low 80s 'nibble it around in English conditions' bowlers and at least two geezers who can bowl 90+ regularly (one of them with the potential to get up to 95). This will be amplified in Perth. Broad and Anderson will easily be able to get the ball up at head height, but really making it uncomforatble comes from speed through the air.

Not that this is the be all and end all. Remember, we also have Panesar - bowlers who turn the ball always benefit from extra bounce.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 11:36 am
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Not that this is the be all and end all. Remember, we also have Panesar - bowlers who turn the ball always benefit from extra bounce.

True but knocking the other blokes head off is generally quicker


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 11:39 am
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True but knocking the other blokes head off is generally quicker

Broad does that well enough, just ask his bunny - Clarke!

And I reckon a fit and firing Bresnan would't be someone you'd want to face at the WACA either


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 11:45 am
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its also easy enough to duck that is what they should do

the bouncer is only effective if you hit it as it wont get you out itself [ may keep you back mind]


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:45 pm
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The whole WACA thing can get blown out of proportion a bit, but it is such a 'stand-out' pitch that special consideration should be given to how to play there.

It obviously favours openers who have quick feet and can play horizontal bat shots well (Rogers and Warner), but won't favour the taller openers who like to drive (Cook and Carberry).

If England go too far with bowlers who aren't sufficiently quick they may find that Warner in particular will have a wagon wheel that shows plenty of sixes and one-bounce fours to third man - having been deliberately played there. It is a ground where touring teams traditionally waste the (very precious in the case of the kookaburra) new ball and its hardness and shine. The Freemantle Doctor also makes swing virtually non existent.

The other thing about the WACA is that the bounce is very consistent, so players can duck with confidence, knowing that the ball is unlikely to keep low and really do them a mischief.

If England lose the toss I think the series is over. If they win the toss, bat well and post a big score then we'll see what these Aussies are made of.


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:48 pm
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combined with our attempts in the summer to position ourselves as a nasty (yeh, right) team applyimg cheating, gamesmanship, arrogance and surliness to new levels.

🙄


 
Posted : 09/12/2013 12:57 pm
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Toss lost Oz to bat, Monty out Bresnan in, sounds like Oz unchanged.

Off we go again


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 2:02 am
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Clarke is a lucky tosser, isn't he!

I see heart went over head in terms of Swanny keeping his spot. Hope Bressers pulls up well. At least we'll have a day or so before we can start working hard on a concerted batting collapse.

But all this comment about heat I don't hold much truck with. It was 40+ for three days of the Adelaide test last time round, and it didn't seem to do much harm to us then.

I don't fancy Billy Bowden's chances at breaking up a brawl though 🙄


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 2:16 am
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what a start, time to build come on guys


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 2:38 am
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That was rather kind!


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 2:39 am
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WTF??? RR of 6.5? 😯


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 3:08 am
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Yep, momentum swing just did a 180 back to the locals..

The speed of the pitch makes it look like a miniature ground out there. With them just cruising past 50 it's looking like a worry. Going against runs on the board is the biggest problem England have.


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 3:19 am
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and there goes another one 🙂

105 looks a big ask for England though


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 4:22 am
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It feels a lot hotter than 35 degrees at the WACA today, it could open up a bit this afternoon with players going for big shots rather than going for singles.


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 5:04 am
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Is suspicious


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 6:03 am
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I became rather excited when I woke this morning at 148 for 5. Then I remembered the first two tests, wasn't it 136 - 6 at Brisbane?

Now I see its 220 - 5.

Bowlers tiring in the heat?


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 7:14 am
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Jeez fellers. Smith's not test match quality yet we've let him score 70-odd with 65 of them through the on side. Make him play where he doesn't want to, not where he does.


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 7:50 am
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I'm getting more and more confused. How are Australia scoring so many sixes when we seem to struggle to score singles?


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 8:04 am
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Yeah, Carbs and Root. That was the ball. You're supposed to try to catch it FFS


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 8:14 am
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It's not getting better...


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 9:52 am
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MJ on 35no. Score now well over 300. That, I'm afraid, is that, we won't win this test and will in all probability lose it. And even with a draw, then getting two wins to draw the series and retain the urn - I think not.

I've been saying for 8 months now that this lot are too good to keep failing. Clearly I've been wrong.


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 9:56 am
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Only one LBW in the series so far.

Those three stick things: you hit them, the batsman's out. He gets his leg in the way, he's out. Why not try that rather than all this high rubbish?


 
Posted : 13/12/2013 10:05 am
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Root out my arse. No hotspot. No snicko. No deviation. What a load of bollocks


 
Posted : 14/12/2013 7:03 am
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zokes - Member
Root out my arse. No hotspot. No snicko. No deviation. What a load of bollocks

Yep and the more Boycott tries to explain it the worse it sounds. Yep thats right to overturn the decision you need clear evidence that something else happened, no evidence of hitting it isn't enough.


 
Posted : 14/12/2013 7:18 am
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Good to see DRS controversy returning to The Ashes ha ha! For mine, there wasn't definitive evidence to overturn the onfield Umpires call, so it stays with the original decision, them's the rules...


 
Posted : 14/12/2013 7:36 am
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WTF was Boycs on about 😆 I bet Aggers has to seriously vet the tweets he reads out when Sir Geoff is around 😛


 
Posted : 14/12/2013 7:38 am
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6 DAYS LEFT
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