[Closed] Anyone want a job?

"Cannot View Vacancy" - typical public sector shoddiness 🙄

😉

Apparently you have to be able to keep a secret and be too big to fit in a holdall.

Are they recruiting for a new prime minister now, the present one has failed at everything he has done, or is it some sort of secret job, that us plebs cant access .

The vacancy is restricted access (Civil Service)

Do I log on with a secret handshake?

Ok then, it's for prison officers, Yorkshire & Humberside area.

Pay from 19K up to 22K.

[quote=esselgruntfuttock said] Pay from 19K up to 22K.

Part time ?

😉

Project, if someone started a thread about mayonnaise, I'm pretty sure you'd say that it was all the government's fault that the cost of living crisis was hitting hard working families in the salad department.

Any chance you could change the record at some point?

I'm still waiting for my Assessment Day in Holloway. Been confirmed I'm going, just waiting ages to be told when.

Good luck when it comes Neal, but be prepared to be very very frustrated at the way things work/don't work in HMPS.

Lots of things to be frustrated about in any workplace 🙂

Knowing what they are before you start is a new one though !

Project, if someone started a thread about mayonnaise, I'm pretty sure you'd say that it was all the government's fault that the cost of living crisis was hitting hard working families in the salad department.

Obviously one of the few remaining tory supporters then, and whos faulyt would it be, quite a few of them should be behind bars for the desimation of the services working class people relyed on.

LOLing @ CFH.

NOT Liking project's perennial lack of sense of humour.

Way hey we're off... STW never fails

desimation

Edit- this post is for my own entertainment, now I have to teach grammar properly for the new curriculum my inner grammar/spelling Nazi likes to come out and play!

desimation
?
Oh I get it, you killed one of the 10... clever

If you are going to pedantic about historical meanings of words, you really need to mention that he spelled it wrong too 😉

Project, do you stand in busy shopping streets in front of a table with all sorts of dodgy red coloured, badly photoshopped posters behind and a line of clipboards with 'Oi, No!' petitions on them?

If you are going to pedantic

Where is pedantic?

😉

More importantly Flashy, what happened to Miffed Max?

Project, if someone started a thread about mayonnaise, I'm pretty sure you'd say that it was all the government's fault that the cost of living crisis was hitting hard working families in the salad department.

Who, exactly is to blame for the salad department issues then?

NOT Liking project's perennial lack of sense of humour.

Project has some of the subtlest and sharpest sense of humour on here. Although it's lost on a lot of people imo.

.

BTW esselgruntfuttock, good news - UKIP are apparently set to win a landslide, and despite the UK having one of the highest rates of incarceration in Western Europe UKIP wants to double the prison population !!!

I thought that would cheer you up ! 😀

perhaps to act as a foil to project the vacancy is the the role in government that the current holder has failed in every respect of the job description.. leader of the opposition.. he cant lead and doesnt oppose much..

Edit. Point made.

[i]Lots of things to be frustrated about in any workplace

Knowing what they are before you start is a new one though ![/i]

True, but It's the most frustrating job I've ever known. Just stupid things. Important but stupid things.
You'll see.

[i]Esselgruntfuttock, you know it's a fairly serious disciplinary offence to badmouth your own dep't on social media/interweb etc, don't you?

Just mentioning, in case you felt compelled to expand any more on your post.[/i]

Ohh dear, I didn't realise that saying a job was frustrating was the same as bad mouthing it.
& It's Futtock, not Buttock but I see what you did there. 😆

Pay from 19K up to 22K.

Is that a day rate?

Yearly salary, including nights, bank holidays, every other weekend & about 12 different shifts varying in hours, quite often with a 21.00 hrs finish & an 07.45 start next day. (as an example)

Do I get free Hep C jags and life assurance?

Don't get me wrong, I admire anyone that is willing to do this job but you'd need to pay me alot more than that to deal with some of the nonsense you nodoubt have to put up with on a fairly regular basis.

From memory, doesn't HMPS pay [b]very[/b] well, once you start progressing?

I believe they even run a management training scheme for gaffers, open to general public?

£22k? **** that.

I'm even more glad I applied now.

Knowing STW will disapprove of my meagre earnings makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That's probably wind.

Still, equally enjoyable.

Neal, you can soon get up to Supervising Officer except you'll have 50% of the other staff vying for that post (about 20p a year more than plain officer) then Custodial Manager (75p increase) then the dizzy heights of a lower grade governor. You could even end up being a governing governor!
Go for it!

That's probably wind.

It was actually.

Still, equally enjoyable.

Correct again 🙂

Go for it!

I certainly will 🙂

(If they ever get my assessment day booked in)

Ignore the willy-waving idiots - good on you for doing this - someone needs to. I know it's difficult for borderline sociopaths to appreciate but some people aren't just motivated by money and want to do stuff that benefits society (don't know if that's your motivation neal 🙂 ).

I hope you have a bit more compassion towards the inmates than esselgruntfuttock sometimes appears to though.

some people aren't just motivated by money and want to do stuff that benefits society (don't know if that's your motivation neal ).

I could claim that I suppose.

But the truth is, it's just up the road from where I live

And I like the uniform 😉

[url= https://www.sis.gov.uk/careers.html ]More civil service jobs here[/url], ads don't mention company cars though.

desimation

[i]I hope you have a bit more compassion towards the inmates than esselgruntfuttock sometimes appears to though.[/i]

I show lots of compassion to most of the lads I come into contact with at work, & the vast majority get respect & help from me. Some prisoners though are just plain baadass & want neither respect nor help from staff.
FYI I work on a drug recovery wing, trying to help lads stay off addictive substances. Now for that job you have to want to help & support prisoners overcome their habits so that they can lead normal lives on release. They've all volunteered to come onto G wing because It's the only recovery wing in the jail & the staff on there (seven of us) all applied for the role, thats seven staff out of 120 who applied to actually help prisoners with their addictions. If I had no compassion for these lads I'd have applied for B wing.
I defy anyone to show compassion to every prisoner he/she comes into contact with, even Neal.
Yes there's a few prisoners who I have no time for, like the one who threw a mug of puke/shit/piss at a female officer (not on our wing) a couple of weeks ago, he'd even gone to the bother of boiling it up first.
Hope thats cleared some things up.

And to Neal, the biggest thanks you'll get is when you take a prisoner to reception for release & he turns, shakes your hand & says 'thanks for you help Mr G'

Good luck when it comes Neal, but be prepared to be very very frustrated at the way things work/don't work in HMPS.

True, but It's the most frustrating job I've ever known. Just stupid things. Important but stupid things.
You'll see.

quite often with a 21.00 hrs finish & an 07.45 start next day. (as an example)

Neal, you can soon get up to Supervising Officer except you'll have 50% of the other staff vying for that post (about 20p a year more than plain officer) then Custodial Manager (75p increase) then the dizzy heights of a lower grade governor.

Your really selling it there!!

Just giving Neal the heads up! 😀

I'm guessing you don't get a referral bonus either!

Seriously well said Mr Essel.

I show lots of compassion to most of the lads I come into contact with at work, & the vast majority get respect & help from me. Some prisoners though are just plain baadass & want neither respect nor help from staff.
FYI I work on a drug recovery wing, trying to help lads stay off addictive substances. Now for that job you have to want to help & support prisoners overcome their habits so that they can lead normal lives on release. They've all volunteered to come onto G wing because It's the only recovery wing in the jail & the staff on there (seven of us) all applied for the role, thats seven staff out of 120 who applied to actually help prisoners with their addictions. If I had no compassion for these lads I'd have applied for B wing.
I defy anyone to show compassion to every prisoner he/she comes into contact with, even Neal.
Yes there's a few prisoners who I have no time for, like the one who threw a mug of puke/shit/piss at a female officer (not on our wing) a couple of weeks ago, he'd even gone to the bother of boiling it up first.
Hope thats cleared some things up.

And to Neal, the biggest thanks you'll get is when you take a prisoner to reception for release & he turns, shakes your hand & says 'thanks for you help Mr G'

And to Neal, the biggest thanks you'll get is when you take a prisoner to reception for release & he turns, shakes your hand & says 'thanks for you help Mr G'

Despite joking about proximity and uniform above, this is the sort of thing that makes the downsides of a job worth putting up with.