[Closed] Anyone live/lived with parents/inlaws through choice?

Talking with the folks over summer about moving back from Oz if I wanted to, said I don't think I could move back home - the reply? Who said you were invited 😉

Edit - INLAWS!!! I'd rather have a session with the rubber hose and the soapy frogs

I used to say 'never go back', never go home to the parents, its not nice. but recent times I understand it more. BUT in your position I think the biggest concern I would have is the commute more than the out laws. that journey will eat into time with your newborn. But the outlaws will undoubtedly help your wife. But looking back at my reply I have a lot of buts, but but but.

Can you arrange to work from home? employers are now encouaraged to let the dads take paternity leave right, could you not do that?

You're going to have a new-born and you're considering adding 2-3hrs per day onto your working time?

I'd rather remove my own cobblers with a pair of house bricks

ride across the bridge which is free for motorbikes

it's also ****ing terrifying in a cross wind.

It depends on the relationship you have with them, some make it work but most fall out at some point.

You say about the house is big enough to not get in each others way but keep in mind having a new baby can be very stressful until you get used to it and your wife will be at home a lot so if her folks are going to get on her nerves, it will be then.

binners - Member 
I'd rather remove my own cobblers with a pair of house bricks

😆

We moved in with my parents when their house became too big (for them at their age).

Intention was to build a granny annex onto one of our out-buildings.

After 3 months they moved to a cottage 50m from us. 3 years later we are starting building the annex as my Dad now is struggling with stairs etc.

We did though both have to find new jobs as we'd moved 400 miles.

br no mention of a new patio there...

I also would rather remove binners' cobblers with a couple of house bricks.

That commute, on four hours broken sleep a night with a baby, will kill you quicker than your in-laws!

Lived with my in laws when I moved back from oz, the little fella was 2 months old. Lived there for 3 months whilst looking for a job. It got quite difficult after a few weeks of being there, everyone was very on edge.

dont do it, commute will destroy any time you have with your child and wife. I love my parents and we get along great but I still wouldnt live with them. Id suggest it never works out

[quote=Rubber_Buccaneer ]I also would rather remove binners' cobblers with a couple of house bricks.
Wouldn't that hurt......

Thanks all, this is what i was thinking other than a tiny voice telling me it would be better.

For the record I get on great with my in-laws, father is a big biker both road and mtb so always lots to talk about and go riding together. But it was the commute that was the big question. Just have to keep saving and continue resisting the urge for shiny n+1 😀

Rubber_Buccaneer » I also would rather remove binners' cobblers with a couple of house bricks.

Wouldn't that hurt......

Yeah man. Be careful with those thumbs......

I heard Binners's proctologist gave him two thumbs up. Binners was not best pleased.

[quote=perchypanther ]

Rubber_Buccaneer » I also would rather remove binners' cobblers with a couple of house bricks.

Wouldn't that hurt......

I was beginning to think no one was going to finish it off.

It could be fine, you won't know until you try it.
When our house was being gutted and put back together, we lived with my mum.
It's one of the worse things I ever did. Until that point our relationship was great. I ended up being stressed and even ill.

Your wife could move back in with her parents full time, give up your current rental but rent something near work just for you for a few nights a week to save on the extra commute. You will still save some money and if you can negotiate with work, perhaps to do a couple longer days at office each week in exchange for working at (the in-laws) home other days, you could free up some extra time for family.

The thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat - just spent a week with them and I wanted to contruct a new patio on the rental house we had ....

1, The commute would be horrible
2, It is a new born - they dont sleep and having your own space to slob around in when you have been up half the night is great, if not necessary - could you do that in their house ?
3, Sleep deprivation does odd things to people - do they really want a screaming child in their house at 3 in the morning ?
4, Do you want to be in their house with a screaming child at 3 in the morning ?

From my point of view, no, no, no, no, no

The thought of work brings andyfla out in a cold sweat......

Damn right , I have a wife for that sort of thing

and I still earn more than you !

We sold a house in Wiltshire, packed everything into storage and moved to Scotland, in with the father in law

Big house, enough space, we generally rattled around and kept out of each other's way.
It became easier on all when a known escape point was established...so work out what qualifies as exit criteria....and workout how long to reach it....gives you a light at the end of the tunnel

Could you not get the train from Worle, Milton or even Yatton? Would still be a long journey but at least you could sleep.

The mountain biking near Cheddar is ace.

My wife and I are trying to save for a mortgage deposit, my folks have a huge house in a nice village 5 miles from us.

Dad lives in Bahrain full time, Mum splits her time 70-30 here-Bahrain. So theoretically we would only have to share with 1 other person, 70% of the time. If we did it we could have the deposit we need 6 months sooner.

**** that though!

Live together in social rented housing for a few years after the sprog is born just to make sure you can all live together,and no way inflict yourselves on another family unit.

No way do you want to up sticks just before the sprog is born and then have to set up a new home with strangers, while trying to save for a mortgaged home

No way do you want to up sticks just before the sprog is born and then have to set up a new home with strangers

One would assume the in-laws are a little better regarded than 'strangers'.

FWIW my MIL was down here a lot after our daughter was born. It was nice that she went home and such but by god it was good to have someone to help with the house.

Pros:

Someone else to do housework. Believe me, it's a massive help.
Someone else to look after child for half an hour whilst you get some rest.

Cons:

Possibility of getting in each others way.
Stress of trying to do it yourself with someone else trying to do it theirs.
Commute. That's a killer. I work 20 mins away and still ended up sleep deprived and in a mess. I'd never have coped with that (being the guilty hands on type)

I'd sooner suck a fart from a dog than live with my inlaws.

I moved back into my parents at Easter aged 29 when my marriage broke down. I'd always said that I'd never be able to hack going back home, but it actually hasn't been too bad after the initial shock. I'm closer than ever to both of my parents (I've was always quite close to them as it was) I do feel the need for my own space though again!

I'd 100% hand on heart have gone and slept rough rather than ever living with my previous inlaws though. Seriously......I cannot convey how delighted I am that I no longer see them 🙂

My wife and I spent 6mo with her father when we were first back in the UK and house hunting. It was ok but we were happy to leave! And we get on v well - just about to go on a long holiday with him.

TBF only you know the answer to this question OP.

Unless any of us have lived with your wife's parents.

We would move in with my parents in a heartbeat!

They have a great house, opposite a lovely village pub, and they are awesome.

Cant see them allowing the three of us to turn up and disturb their peace full time tough 🙂

Hanging with MissStripes' folks right now.... waiting for her first paycheck so we can get another flat. It might have it's downsides, but it sure beats Bradford 😀

We moved back in with my wife's parents 20 years ago for 18 months for many reasons I don't want to revisit.
Luckily we all got on(still do)
The baby on the way could be a plus or a minus with the in laws though?

I'd rather remove my own cobblers with a pair of house bricks

He's married with a baby on the way - he's not going to be needing his cobblers anymore.

I moved back in with my dad when my first marriage broke up. We had a great time, he was hugely supportive and got me out of a hole and he enjoyed the company. No kids involved but we're all different.

I would love a sub-3 hour commute each day, too!

We've just had my step daughter and boyfriend move in with us to help them out, if they don't pull their socks up they'll be getting out again pretty quickly indeed!