[Closed] Anyone just given up on finding love?

I think you need to MTFU and get out there.

lol, can I finish my divorce first please if that's ok? may screw my little boys brain up otherwise 😀

If love ever bothered to come looking for me.....I'd be out riding.
Don't really see the point meself.I'm perfectly capable of making myself miserable without a womans help.

Houns live your life ffs. Do what you want. If it ever happens it happens. Im sick of social convention 'must get married', must have a sibling', etc etc.

Relax.

I don't think you get to choose on the sibling thing, Hora...

Rachel

OMG I agree with Hora...Kill me now....there is no hope!

I don't think you get to choose on the sibling thing, Hora...

😀

Allthegear mrshora partly wanted a child because it seemed all her friends were... now everyone is having a second and 'he will be lonely in life without a sibling'.

Sounds grumpy/harsh but why the social pressure bollocks. We all get one shot at life. Why the pressure to conform, to follow a conveyor belt, a conformist critical path?

Btw allthegear- I hope your tickle tackle all works good? 🙂

Pathetic.
I flipped on to this forum to help pass the time with thoughts of riding.

You're wasting your time and more importantly mine.
Grow a pair and get out there.

[img] [/img]

Interesting way of putting it, Hora!! LOL

From walking round Liverpool today, a lot of the male female couples seemed to be haveing either tantrums,toys out of prams moments,or being all lovey dovey for a very small proportion.

Where as there where quite a few paired males, having a laugh, chating, drinking,being freindly and in a few cases being a bit gay.

The second option may well be the way to go, and if you dont fancy hairy men, find a roadie they usually shave their legs, you can talk about football, go drinking, theres no problem with unwanted preganancies, and most important they can help you fix your bike, and dont moan about a bike in the kitchen.And soon you can even get married.

find a roadie they usually shave their legs,

Are you equating men who shave their legs with being gay, project?

I don't consider being called gay an insult, but the way you use it is a very useful idiot detector. Maybe you'd like to crawl back to the 1950's before someone takes offence?

To be fair, I think he's saying people who shave their legs are not hairy. That's all.

Some of them may be gay.

Rachel

For starters buy a mans car,get rid of the moggies get a dog then come up to Kendal for a night out!

Rocketdog he makes damn fine chocs but cannot ride his bike without hitting street furniture!

I'm enjoying this discussion.

But that's because I'm 46 and my marriage of 20+ years has fallen apart over the last three years.

She says it's because I spend to much time doing my own stuff and don't share my life with her - I can't help but feel there's a good reason for that!

I'd agree with so many other voices here. Stop looking, get happy and see what happens 😆

...that's what I plan to do eventually.

When a mate at work was between wives (married + kid -> affair with mad lady -> another kid) he actually told me he was jealous of me being a gayer because (his words) "You can have a good shag then talk about football and eat pizza afterwards".

Saying that I have a gay friend who is constantly looking for "the one" which will never happen as no-one is ever perfect. Very sad.

I found MrAdamW after I stopped looking and just went out and about just to have a laugh. About a week after I stopped, as it happens.

Just live your life. I understand that ladies are very attracted to men who make them laugh and who are confident without the alpha-male bollox stuff. Make a fool of yourself and laugh a lot. You'll end up beating the ladies away with a big pooey stick. 😀

EDIT: Somafunk want to marry me too?

Exactly what Adam said, but as an added extra be Cool Hand Luke.

The minute you stop looking for that one person, the minute you stop going out of your way to impress the opposite sex and the minute you appear not to give a **** is hilariously the moment when you can't beat people away from you fast enough.

Even if you aren't brilliantly attractive, having some real confidence about who you are, self esteem in what you've achieved, are at peace with yourself and are internally driven instead of being driven by how people around you perceive you....then you'll do fine.

There's a reason many women find older successful males who don't say very much, attractive.

At 40 and having had a girlfriend-free life for the last 10 years, loads of my friends are pushing me to not be single.
The main difference between me and them is there's loads of stuff I love doing: riding, running, mountaineering which I need time and money to do.
I'd love to be in a good relationship but there's loads and loads of benefits to being single that I don't want to lose. Namely doing those things I love as often as I want and take the very best of any opportunity to do any fun stuff that comes along.
I'm fitter now than I've ever been- training 6 days a week, in part because I can
If I find a girl who wants to do all this stuff with me, awesome, but there are few really active girls IME

I spent the first half of my 20's wasting my life cos I was in a crap relationship with a miserable girl. I learnt my lesson there...

Plus I'm always in good company 🙂

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/pictures-that-will-make-you-believe-in-true-love

IT'S A ****ING TRAP... RUN AWAY!!!

Rocketdog he makes damn fine chocs but cannot ride his bike without hitting street furniture!

There's now't wrong wi abusing street furniture, it enables my dentist to continue to waste £100k on Range Rovers to transport his fat arsed wife everywhere, and hitting the pavement with your face at 20mph+ is a fantastic ruse to get free nose jobs.

Admittingly i do make exceedingly good chocs though......

😉

Stop looking for the "perfect one"

should have called this thread....FAO all 14yr olds................

Normal people don't fall in love. They just tolerate each other. I'm normal, tolerating marriage, and in love with Charlize Theron. It's a living hell.

Once again, in typical STW fashion, those with a complete lack of self-awareness see fit to post unkind comments.

It's sad to see someone at a low ebb and who's shown courage in posting on this minefield of a subject.

I don't have anything really to add except as a starting point you need to work on your self-confidence, like yourself and be comfortable with your personality and its associated traits.

You state that 'your standards are high' which is all well and good but sometimes it's hard to see the word for the trees. First impressions aren't always correct so perhaps you need to open your eyes and perhaps be less judgemental? Don't judge a book by its cover as it were.

I wish you well. 🙂

Before I met MrsBouy I was very single, in that I mean I really couldn't give a **** about meeting a partner. I'd been single for 7 years previous to MrsBouy, by choice, having split with my ex of 12 years. I'd come to the realisation that sticking in a relationship that was giving each of us no happiness (towards the end) was just wasting both our lives.
So, so I ended it. It was difficult. However, once done I felt empowered, no not to go out and shag anything that came along, I'm far away from that mentality in fact chose to be both single and celibate. Sounds a bit introspective now to think that I needed something higher to believe in but it felt right to me so I chose to believe in myself and enjoy what life and living gave, or have the opportunity to experience. I chose to sail a lot, ride places I'd never been, kite surfed, windsurfed, worked bloody hard, see some spectacular places and met some fabulous people. In essence I just got out there and enjoyed myself, and revelled in it too, life came to me it seemed, I really made no effort as opportunities came my way....
I met MrsBouy via a cross word/argument with an acquaintance at my sailing club who was being a bitch, i thought at the time she was being rather obnoxious for some reason. Turns out she went on to introduce me to a couple of her friends, no idea why, then MrsBouy popped up one day and she took me by the arm and we fell in love, no she really did take my by the arm...

I still to this day have no idea how it happened 😆

Take the time to rekindle the You, find out what makes you happy and smile and do that a lot, I mean really do it a helluva lot.

Best of luck.

... and dont moan about a bike in the kitchen ...

Does anyone really have an idea of what "The One" should be like, ok some people may have preference to blondes, Redhead or brunette others may prefer sporty types for instance. Yet how often is the person you meet the polar opposite if what you first imagined to be your type. Perhaps we compartmentalise people to much and hence put up boundaries were not even aware off.

As others have said. Don't look, just get out and enjoy yourself. Do all the things you [i]can't[/i] do if you had a partner and once you've reached that point of balance, happiness and freedom in your own life, I guarantee you someone will come along and take it all from you 🙂

Seriously though, it will never be where you think it will.

I met Mrs File when she was checking me into a nice hotel after a miserable day at work.

Morning

Just woke up after very little sleep after my night shift so shall just add some points. I'll try and construct something better later

Kids?! Don't go down that route, but no!
Meeting girls/ being confident around them not a problem
Women being interested in me (without sounding big headed ) there are plenty
Humping around.. Can be done easily, not what I'm looking for
Enjoying doing my own thing? Enjoyed it and had enough of doing everything on my own
Self confident? Yes, disheartened? Yes!

Erm I think that's it, need to sleepzzzzzzzzzzzz

After my ex-mrs left for someone else and I (foolishly) rushed into another relationship which inevitably went horribly wrong, I kept trying but women just avoided me (this inlcuded driving 400 miles fir a blind date!), i remember clearly suddenly arriving at where you are one evening and just giving up on the whole thing.

I have no idea how it happened but I met the wonderful mrs o within a couple if weeks at gate 9 of Rome airport. And at long last it was just right.

Whereabouts are you, houns?

I haven't read all the above because I cant be arsed but,

C'mon Houns pick yourself up, I think you are aware of my situation, the love of my life (together 14 years) left me last year and I was devastated, but a year on (to the day in fact) I'm with someone new who I love and adore.

I'm 45 you are 35 you have plenty of time just chill, it will happen.

Thing is, all I've ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don't really bother me, just wanted to meet the 'one'

Just woke up after very little sleep after my night shift...

Speaking both from personal experience and from several courses, there is a definite link between shift work and mental health issues, with night shifts being the worst. Those of us that have mental health issues can be tempted to 'hide away' on nights, which in itself isn't conducive to good metal health.

Is your mental health all it could be?

Just to say thank you to all the posters who have shared their experiences on this thread 🙂 I am just working my way through a rough time, and reading some of these posts have really helped to sort my mind out.

Get out there, ride my bike, walk my dogs, take every opportunity that comes my way and try not to look back.

You will be aright flowerpower believe you me, a year ago to this very minute my whole world just fell apart around me, today well, I'm pretty damn happy.

Its a well worn platitude, but time really does heal.

crikey - Member

find a roadie they usually shave their legs,

Are you equating men who shave their legs with being gay, project?

I don't consider being called gay an insult, but the way you use it is a very useful idiot detector. Maybe you'd like to crawl back to the 1950's before someone takes offence?

Obviously someone has had a humour bypass then, possibly only you has taken a fence, and in no way was it meant to cause offence to gay people being called roadies.

Anyone just given up on finding love?

[s]just[/s] Ship sailed looooooooong time ago...

 

If I find a girl who wants to do all this stuff with me, awesome, but there are few really active girls IME

As an active girl, I have found in the past that being active is a negative for a lot of guys. They want a girl who looks like a Barbie doll - most active outdoor type girls don't, and shock horror, we have [i]muscle definition[/i]. I've had negative comments, totally unsolicited, from men, about the way my body looks as a female cyclist and triathlete, and even Mr Panda was not over thrilled with the changes in my body shape when I started to train for events. However, he has seen the difference it makes to my confidence and happiness being fit and healthy and having fun doing events, so he's kind of accepted that a bit extra muscle tone really isn't a deal breaker.

I gave up a couple of years ago when my last relationship imploded. I just can't be bothered with it and can quite happily bumble along by myself. Now I can't imagine having to compromise or change my life to accommodate another person. And to be honest I can't imagine anyone putting up with me and my quirks either!

Muscle tone on a woman is a turn-off?? Blimey, some blokes are [i]weird[/i]!

DezB +1!!

Muscle tone on a woman is a turn-off?? Blimey, some blokes are weird!

There was a bloke at work who said that Jennifer Ennis 'looks like a man' because of her muscle definition. 😐

Jennifer Ennis

who?

Jessica Shirley?

I don't want to say anthing derogatory about the man at work MrsT - but that is downright weird! She's lovely.

That bloke needs a kick in the baws!

Outdoorsy/active women are the best and have the best figures :FACT:

Re mental health, yes have had really bad problems with it in the past but ok now, certainly know the danger signs. The odd night shift I do isn't bad especially as the people I work with are great. Just woken early as usual by the clacking magpies in the garden. If I didn't love animals so much they'd have been killed months ago

[img] [/img]

[i]who?[/i]

Bloke at Mrs Toast's work. Doubt you'd know him.

What kind of crazy person keeps their bikes in the kitchen??

HI! 😀

Dyed my hair full-on fluorescent pink yesterday. Had more attention in last 24 hours than I think I've had in a year!! 🙂

Rachel (who keeps her bikes in the living room)

This thread is useless without pics!

Of Houns being lonely, of bikes in the living room or of pink hair???

Pink hair! 😛

[img] http://anniemiz.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/pink_mrs_slocombe [/img]

Yeah - ^ that's pretty much it!! LOL

I think I have counted 3 (not read every post) apparently single females who have posted on this thread, assuming they are not actually TJ, why not see if they would like to go cycling with you.

You never know the common interest may be just the start.

steelisreal - Member

Pathetic.
I flipped on to this forum to help pass the time with thoughts of riding.

You're wasting your time and more importantly mine.
Grow a pair and get out there.

As an active girl, I have found in the past that being active is a negative for a lot of guys. They want a girl who looks like a Barbie doll - most active outdoor type girls don't, and shock horror, we have muscle definition.

My ideal girl, built for speed, not comfort... 😀

I grew up around gyms, am lucky that I carry very little body fat, most of my friends hate me (in a love ya really kinda way) because I don't need to find another 20bhp out of my bikes to be able to keep up.
I can clear the Columbia shop of the stuff that "normal people" can't fit in to and get bargains elsewhere too 😛
I detest bleached blonde, GHD'd, dyed,, falseness.
Any girl who trains will turn my head long before a barbie doll will.
As for finding love? after my 19yr relationship ending earlier this year - I'm enjoying myself.

What happened? you sack her off for brushing her hair???

Rachel (wondering if it's really "in a love ya really kinda way")

*thinks about applying to hammyuk's personal ad*

Lol @ Rachel.
Got tired of looking at someone with stunning, thick , naturally wavy hair who dyed, tied, straightened it, etc because that's how her "best friend forever" looked.
Should've thought about that a bit more when she complained I never complimented her.... 😀

I'm going to regret this, Im sure. Don't be too cruel...

The pink hair thing (done for Norwich Pride tomorrow...)

Rachel (thinking I might actually have to start wearing make-up now)

[img] [/img]

WOW - but looking gorgeous as always Rach 🙂

Pink hair, you do look good with it, nice leopard print background as well.

Won't lose you in the beer tent either 😉

Being all girly and dainty-like....

The last thing I am in a beer tent is dainty...

Rachel's next haircut?

[img] [/img]

allthegear - Member
The last thing I am in a beer tent is dainty.

Well I was trying to be nice 😆

FS! Careful what you wish for boy.. There is nothing better parking your bike after a hard days ride in an empty kitchen/ dining (with no dining table and sh*t like that) / or even in a living room if you live in a flat .. And just throwing your dirty bag, shoes and socks away in the floor without the care in the world.. ...or even just waking up one weekend and the sun smiling down by your window telling you to ride up as it promise to shine on you all day instead of any domesticated sh*t that are norm these days... If you know how to cook, wash dishes and clothes on your own or you have somebody to do it for you.. What d f@ck you complaining about?

😀

I'm pretty sure I held the world record for messing up a flat during my first marriage. I got back from playing paintball in the world cup in France, dumped my bag on the lounge floor and proceeded to unpack it in front of my ex-wife to get to the present I'd bought for her.

She was happy with the gift, but rather less so when she realised that I had put dirty, filthy kit and paintballs all over the lounge floor.

Did I mention we got divorced?

Anyway, I know what you mean about finding it hard to find "The One", but sometimes it just creeps up on you. For now, don't worry about it and just get on with enjoying life and cycling. Sod what everyone else is doing and enjoy it.

Rachel, _AWESOME_ hair!

That is awesome hair Rachel! 😀

As for the op, I wasn't looking for anyone and didn't fancy the Mrs at all when we first met, but we hit it off and just chatted each others ears off, I then started fancying her as a person as she was cool and funny and had a daft sense of humour. Then she changed her look over the months and flippin' eck, lust central was upon me! 🙂
I'm no looker so I thought she was well out of my league and no chance there, so just carried on being matey. Well one night she jumped me! (judgement was never a strong point of hers! ;D) And bingo, we've been together for 15years or so.
We've both changed looks wise over those years, (I keep getting folks saying to me how beautiful she is and I know I've not aged for the better!) so not just because of her exterior vision, but also because she's my best mate, I fancy her more now than ever and as much as we like going out and doing stuff together, I'm just as happy snuggling up on the sofa watching telly because that link with her is what the relationship is about. Which is cool because when we're to old to be throwing ourselves at the scenery for fun we'll still be having giggles on the sofa laughing at our daft in jokes. And I'll still fancy her like rotten.
Don't give up on the idea, but don't go desperately chasing some vision of ultimate beauty either, that will change/fade/suffer from changing fashions but the person you get on with will be the constant through all that.
Also consider that you may not be top drawer material yourself and that others may also judge you by your own high standards! Would you go out with yourself? I'm not sure I would with me (obviously the sex would be fabulous ;D but by jingo I can be a nob sometimes! )
Aim for being happy, flexible and out doing things that you enjoy. Opportunities will present themselves, and you won't have to put up with arseholes/nutters etc. 😀

tinsy - Member
I think I have counted 3 (not read every post) apparently single females who have posted on this thread, assuming they are not actually TJ, why not see if they would like to go cycling with you.

You never know the common interest may be just the start.

Who? Now I'm thinking of the female version of TJ *shudder* ( and no, that was not the good shudder)

Thanks Rachel! Excellent!

That's cool Rachel 🙂

My wife has s very similar style but in red.

I won't post pictures of her face 'cos she's shy but here she is with her recent tattoo;

[URL= http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff167/LukeBurstow/a53f4ec2-68d1-47d1-99f3-7ecc35402e9b_zps51040b2f.jp g" target="_blank">http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff167/LukeBurstow/a53f4ec2-68d1-47d1-99f3-7ecc35402e9b_zps51040b2f.jp g"/> [/IMG][/URL]

she has to cover the tattoo at work as she's a deputy head but the hair's just who she is - it was like this when we got married 18 years ago.

After going through a separation, I reckoned I would stay away from long-term relationships for a while. I was 30 and thought it would be great just to be single. After only a few weeks, I met a girl through a friend, something clicked and we started dating. That was 25 years ago and we are still together.

I think it helps if you are (a) not looking and (b) not looking needy.

OP,

Stop looking - and it will inevitably happen!

Oh - and stop drinking this shit.

[img] [/img]

You may think it makes you look cool, sophisticated and interesting but it really just marks you out as a pretentious dork.