[Closed] Any tips for going teetotal?

Don't keep any drink in the house.

Don't have any booze in the house and maybe don't buy any for yourself in the first few weeks. If its there, temptation is very easy.. Its an addictive habit.

I find having fizzy water in the fridge helps you have something to hand whilst relaxing in the evening, and is weirdly more satisfying that plain water.

Another vote for decent alternatives in the fridge or cupboard.

I would say also keep off the booze yourself for a few weeks to give mrs dbg a bit of moral support - no fun for her if you come home happy and wobbly legged after she's spent an evening on the Evian.

Edit: I rarely drink at all these days. I'm the person who's happy to drive to the booze fest night out, drink coke or lime and soda all evening and not feel left out. 5-6 years ago I would have got stuck into the beers as much as most people so it's totally doable.

any tips for going teetotal? -> don't drink. hth. 😉

I just stopped about 8 years ago. Don't really miss it and the amount of money you save is seriously depressing! For once in my life I have money in my pocket to spend on nice things for wife and I. The only thing you have to get used to is everyone thinking you were an alcoholic or you get wild when you drink. You can have a bit of fun with this!

I ended up reducing my intake to an average of 2 pints a week. And tbh this is a lot easier than teetotal.

Have a look at the drink aware app if she goes down a 'reduce until zero' route. Also quite handy for giving annual estimates. Even a low intake results in pretty massive annual amounts!

What gets measured gets managed!

Edit, around 31200 calories per year at my rate of consumption.

Luckily we only have drink in the house on an as when basis so don't have to be pouring anything away (except my whisky collection but she doesn't like whisky anyway).

I'm more than happy to stay of the stuff as well for a few weeks. Most I drink is a couple of bottles of beer once or twice a week usually. Think I've been out and actually got so maybe twice or three times in the last year.

Good shout on having something else in the house and she's going to try a couple of hobbies as something to do instead.

@piemonster - she's an all or nothing kind of person. It's easier for her to have nothing at all.

I found it's difficult to break the habit initially but once you're into it- give it a few days- it's ok and gets loads easier. Not 'easy' by any stretch, but doable and worth doing because from my experience I felt loads better for not making a habit of having a drink every night, not to excess, but maybe a G&T then a glass of wine with dinner.

Decent alternatives are good. I like herbal teas (which also helped loads with kicking caffeine into touch although I still have a cup of coffee in the morning). Sugar free cranberry juice drink is also worth having in the fridge. If you can combine stopping drinking with eating a little cleaner (less refined sugars) then you'll feel fitter and probably lose a little excess flab to boot without actually having to do any extra exercise- win win! 😀

edit- I've used 'you' as a general 'you', not 'you' personally OP. This thread might be handy for others doing the same thing.

I stopped completely for a year (I was on medication that did not mix) but since then I seem to have lost my taste for it. I very very occasionally have a glass of wine or a small whiskey but have no real urge to drink beyond that. Not sure if it helps but my experience is that if you do stop for a while you lose the taste for it and it is easier to stay off!

I'll probably go dry for January and February to give my liver a break and help shift the Christmas weight gain, so I'll be stocking up on sparkling water, teabags and a case of Coke for an occasional treat 🙂

I don't get a great of pleasure from the effects of alcohol, and I get a better nights sleep without a glass of wine in me, but I struggle to sit down with a juicy pork chop, risotto, chicken casserole or beef stew and not miss a glass of wine or beer to go with it...

I class myself as teetotal but my mate always asks me to try a sip of whiskey or beer if he gets a new one in to see what I think.

This led me to buy some Jack Daniels the other week but aye oh it's Xmas and there is still half of it left......

An acquaintance of mine had a major drinking problem, stopped and replaced the booze with speciality cordials. I've never heard of them as to me, cordial is cordial, but the point I'm making is he felt the need to replace the booze with something rather than leave a gap in his life where it was.

Its useful to look at when Mrs D is drinking, eg with dinner, with friends on a night oit and target those situations in terms of will power/alternatives/your support. I think its the emotional and habit "addictions" which are hardest to break. Personally I find it very difficult not have a few glasses of wine with a nice dinner for example, others find a social situation particularly difficult. I'm not a fan of coke etc and would try and avoid that sort of drink as an alternative.

Good luck

Have a goal?

Buy 7 up instead?

Drink water and green tea.

Get the worst hangover without killing yourself and swear to never drink again?

I went tea total for a few years (10+) then met Finnish in laws who like to drink in sauna naked so I got hammered everyday for a week. 8 beers, shots, whisky, brandy and g/t.

Then just stopped after a week. So surround yourself with people who don't drink and don't get Finnish in laws.

I don't miss the hangovers one bit.

Choice is yours and stick to it. Ride more?

Something I have looked at before, and acheived for a period of time - Stopped boozing for 2 and a bit years, I became a hermit,

I find I can go for weeks without drinking now, sometimes months, and then I find myself buying too many beers or a bottle of whisky

I want to stop completely. I know it is the right option for me.

Good luck to your mrs.

Tonic and a dash of Angostura bitters with a squeeze of lemon juice makes an interesting soft* drink which makes a good substitute for something like a G&T.

* Angostura bitters are alcoholic but you use so little it is de minimis.

My GF gave up a few years ago after an illness (not alcohol related!), just for general health reasons. One thing that annoys her is people assuming she'll do all the driving as she won't be drinking. I'd recommend trying to support by still sharing the driving for evenings out - it'll also mean there is another non-drinker with her half the time.

Been teetotal since I was 18,so 14 years to date. The wife is a social drinker but e don't have any alcohol in the house anyway, but it really is quite easy and If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.

Just give up! 15 years now!

Ginger and lemongrass cordial with fizzy water is quite good as something to drink in the evening without cracking open a beer.

If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.

Maybe people just like the taste?

I like the speciality cordial idea. Will investigate.

When going out, try and go to places that have decent 'abstinence' menus. As after a while you will get sick of the usual OJ/Lemonade/Appletiser type drinks.

The hardest bit about not drinking alcohol is constantly having to explain why you don't.

jam bo - Member
The hardest bit about not drinking alcohol is constantly having to explain why you don't.

My experience also!

Shindiggy, always useful when someone with no experience of an issue chimes in. Have you ever smoked? If not, why not find someone who wants to quit to tell them how easy it is, or maybe find an overweight person and tell them to stop going to McDonalds.
Do empathy much?

If just substituting does not work ( beware of increasing sugar intake) see the GP for pills or maybe counselling.
Is your wife happy? Has she got anything to occupy her mind when not working?

"Just give up!"

What a childish and unhelpful comment.

If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.
Maybe people just like the taste?

Time to be blunt...

If she "finds it difficult not to have a couple of drinks [i]every[/i] night" and has to ask for help to stop drinking then I'd say she does have a drink problem. More so if you don't routinely have drink in the house.

Don't ever be afraid or ashamed to say that you don't drink - be proud that you don't just follow the masses 🙂

I don't drink, but I wouldn't recommend my 'method' as it involved lots of fractures and 3-4 months on Tramadol.

Anyway, when I quit smoking it was easier to remove temptation - if I had a lapse in will power it rarely lasted long enough for me to get down the shops.

@poly. Agree to an extent and it depends your definition of 'problem'. She does not get drunk every night - two or three ciders four or five times a week.

But, she cannot stick at just one drink and finds it difficult to take a night of unless she is working.

So yes, strictly speaking she has issues with drink and that is why she is wanting to stop completely.

That said she is not start is class as alcoholic or even strictly alcohol dependent - yet.

Her mother is though and it's now, although she had stopped drinking, the damage is done and is in care and her sister is well on the way hence her desire to do something about it now.

I'll support her however I can, even if it means me giving up as well.

Scarey stuff though alcohol. I know loads of people who drink far too much or too often. I'm sure we all do...

go alcohol free or low alcohol.. there are a lot of beers, ciders and wine at lower %age. It does tend to make you a cheap date ..

I knocked it on the head in 1996. Wasn't that much of a drinker, just woke up and did it one day. I like the clarity of a decision, no middle ground or sitting on the fence. Did it with tabs, dope, opiates, coffee etc. I can't quite explain it but it's a great feeling coming to a clear decision, liberating even. Mentally I sort of placed myself with no fuss as a non drinker and there it was.
It could be good will power, but I don't see it as a 'battle', just an alternative that I know is good and I have put myself there. I can't quite explain it properly I'm afraid. I've run this sort of thinking into other areas, breaking decisions down to two clear choices. Brutal honesty is key as I know myself the best and deep down know the right thing to do. I might not like it but 'right thing' is the key.
I still fancy getting shit faced know and again though.

I'd say she does have a drink problem.

I don't think labels are helpful.

When I've stopped, having an alternative tasty drink helped like cordials etc.

I'm in the same boat as OP's wife. It's something that makes you stand out but it's not so good imvhe. The times when I've been booze-free I've been much calmer and have more energy. It's very hard for social situations esp work though. Stress/anxiety is my reason/underlying cause.

OK its time for me to admit I know I'm a functioning alcoholic, 3 bottles of wine in a day is normal for me on a weekend and easily 2 on a work day (I have taken secrete bottles of brandy etc away on holiday).
I know I must have done myself damage as sometimes my hands shake & I get the sweats.
My excuse to myself is a high pressure job & caring for a very ill wife, I know this is rubbish as others do it without the prop of drink but sometimes it feels like the only thing that blots out the pain.

The problem is that those around me put me on a pedestal of being someone who just gets on with it/knows all the answers. Yet inside I fear everything.
My mother has lived most of her life in much the same way!

I might regret posting this, but who knows

Mr Overshoot - brave of you to state that. I worked for a functioning alcoholic, it took a huge amount for him to open up about the problem, but he got help from his GP and works welfare service. Took several months off work to get through it, but is in a much better place now. Seek help.

OP - a mate quit when he realised the same thing, and has no regrets. I quit for 18 months in my early 20s when too much time and money was being wasted being wasted at weekends. I eventually started drinking again, but two pints is as much as I want at a time now, and only once a week, if that. Nights out with the Dads are a bit odd.....

I think Mr Overshoot it is understandable in your situation. Don't be hard on yourself - which I know is easier said than done. It's a cliche but admitting you have a problem is the first part of the solution. As for people putting you on a pedestal, you are still the person putting the love and effort in - even if you feel you are leaning on alcohol more than is ideal.

I think a few friends probably know about it but as I always seem to be coping find it hard to bring it up. Behind the scenes I well up about the slightest thing & feel very alone.

jamj1974 Your right I am very hard on myself & will always put others before my own well being, every so often I pluck the courage up to say what I think but its not often.

We are having counseling for my wife who won't admit to medical people the extent of her MS destroying both our lives, & as our next appointment on the 7th of Jan is 2 x 1/2 hour individual sessions I will try to bring up the subject of my drinking on a 1 to 1 basis.

I'm 2 1/2 bottles of red down now and no one here suspects which I think is a bad sign?

Good luck MrOvershoot.

Hey Mr Overshoot you maintain extremely well.

You certainly won't get any judgment from me - we have had our problems here and I like a drink a bit / lot more than I should.

Always some issues here as I want to live abroad and MrsJulianA doesn't.

Do what you need to do to get through - I'm going to have another beer right now. That's me... I love MrsJulianA to bits but this may never go away. Shall probably buy cigars tomorrow despite having given up...

Badoit water
Fevertree drinks

Mr Overshoot, brave of you to share, important of you to tell us. When you are ready you really should get some professional help and help from others in a similar position. I've been around a few alcoholics, some hid it extremely well although over the years as a result I am now much more atuned to signs. I couldn't help them and as above the only help I can offer you is to get trained and experienced help as that's what you need. My father in law is 87 and has serocis (excuse spelling) of the liver due to a life of "good" eating and drinking (He's French, full 3+ course business lunch most days of the week), the treatment to keep him alive is not something you want to go through and from what you say that's a place you are heading to within 10 years.

Best of luck for 2016 and beyond.

My excuse to myself is a high pressure job & caring for a very ill wife, I know this is rubbish as others do it without the prop of drink but sometimes it feels like the only thing that blots out the pain.

A lot of alcohol misuse is self-medicinal. You could see your doctor to get some anti-anxiety treatment, whether drugs or therapy/CBT.

I drink through a combination of stress and boredom. I can't imagine my life without alcohol, as it's a social release, but I've usually been able to break up the drinking after getting through difficult periods.

I'm not a great fan of these "Give it up" for a month initiatives. I think reducing intake over a longer period of time is the best approach rather than complete tee-total.

But, she cannot stick at just one drink and finds it difficult to take a night of unless she is working.

Good luck, she can do it

MrOvershoot - good luck going forward, be selfish for once

We rarely have any booze in the house and I never drink during the week. It helps because Mrs t is not a home drinker, so I'd be partaking on my own. I would say that if you can stay off the drink in front of your partner, that will be a massive help for her.

Mr Overshoot - sounds to me like you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. A lot of people feel out of control of their lives, a lot of the time, so don't be down on yourself. I've found I'm a lot more positive from not drinking/cutting down, but then I don't have a sick wife to care for, which must be hard.

Thanks for all the support chaps (that's a non sexist chaps) I am taking each day at a time at the moment & tomorrow will be a very big test as I'm taking my step mother out tomorrow for a drive(I don't drink & drive drive BTW) and a pub lunch!
Think Hyacinthia Bucket meets a demanding toddler!
Leaving my wife in her parents hands (although fairly capable) will have me on edge.

I would like to stop drinking but seem to struggle. My wife moans if I bulk by beer/wine. I do this to save money rather than to drink more. (we go through a bottle of wine a week). However, I suggested I stop and started to throw out all the spirits in the house. Including some Serbian Rakija. Wife goes mental. "Don't throw that away, people gave it to you!"

How on earth does that help me!

Like the sound of cordials and fizzy water. I heard a food programme on Radio4. There are some posh cordials now. Companies who put as much effort into non-alcoholic drinks as others do into alcohol. I will investigate.

OP - maybe get your wife to have a chat with her GP about known ways to help - it's hardly an unknown issue after all.

I am not an expert but social surroundings can make a real difference when you want to change negative behaviours so what you do can be a real support or undermine her re your own drinking. Have you considered quitting with her? I know you say you have no plan to, but why not? Especially if it helps her.

I find it hard not to lay into the chocolate and biscuits when I'm stressed. Best solution I've found is to just avoid letting it in the house - avoid that aisle in the supermarket...

Good luck

A bottle of wine a week woodlikesbeer - ???

If I drink 1 a night that's a dry night for me. I'm not proud of it but that slightly fuzzy feeling helps me forget my wife's awful existence.
Tonight I tried to speak with her god mother whose husband is in hospital with a shed load of problems & I just broke down saying "I'm so sorry" and then choked up crying.

I know I need help but its so hard admitting you can't cope to those close to you, who see you as a pillar of strength while inside I'm dying.

Hang in there, MrO.

Not yet met an alcoholic drink that doesn't taste vile. Beer, spirits, wine etc. Even some cocktails which I like taste much nicer without alcohol in them.

And yes, as a consequence I don't drink.

Gimme a nice glass of fruit juice or a can of coke anyday.

Mr OS- sounds like what you need is some form of carer's support.
Have you looked into this?
There are organisations out there who offer help to carers who are undergoing stress etc- Carers UK and Carers Trust being the main 2.

Gosh this got awfy serious.

For my small contribution - I think that alcohol is an easy target in so many ways, and alcohol dependence an easy diagnosis. People use it to self-medicate (easy to obtain) and cover up other problems, they think that stopping drinking will cure them but all the other stuff is still there.

It is not a binary on/off switch.

Hang in there OS.

2 days in from my admission I'm still having a drink or 6.

But not in secrete & this evening I was the sensible one when my mothers partner had had a little to much wine & was talking fluent BS I suggested he should go to bed as he was tired.

Once I'm home it will take some serious effort from me but I think a few other things in my life also need sorting out along with the drinking, but the other things will hopefully take away the compulsion to drink.

woodlikesbeer - Member

Like the sound of cordials and fizzy water. I heard a food programme on Radio4. There are some posh cordials now. Companies who put as much effort into non-alcoholic drinks as others do into alcohol. I will investigate.

Is this it?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b063yqpy

From an all or nothing point, I just stopped during my first year at uni'. Key indicators were a rather embarrassing situation and an alcohol induced illness.
Hardest part was friends that I went out with, particularly as I tended to put a lot away, think I may still have campus record for a yard of Guinness. Gradually people get the idea and make less of an issue.
Anyway, just stopped, if you are all or nothing, the desire for either is just as strong. That was quite a while ago now and there were points where a drink may have been nice, but not fussed any more, not seen anything that appeals since.

Probably eat more chocolate, but that could just have been a driving job and continually standing next to the sweets queuing in petrol stations.

I became tee total 11 years ago yesterday. I stopped overnight and I was quite a heavy drinker when I drank which was most weekends.

It's a habit and it takes a few weeks to break. I find low/no alcohol alternatives OK for a couple of drinks then I have to move on to bubbly water, lemonade etc. I can't stick one drink all night. I also find, if I'm not in the mood, I'm best off avoiding whatever function we're due at as I can't 'work my way' into it with alcohol. All the xmas/new year work dos are a good example.

The best bit is watching people rolling around whilst regaling you with the same tale again and them then feeling dreadful next day whilst you're chipper and off for a run/ride etc. Remind her of the calories saved as well (or traded in for nice nosh). There is an upside 🙂

Wow, serious stuff in here.
Myself & MsD are what you would class as classic binge drinkers.
We don't touch alcohol Sunday through Thursday, but come Friday & Saturday we do tend to drink too much, it used to be a bottle of wine each plus a couple of beers per night but its been reduced to a bottle between us now. Unfortunately we have a tendency to cocktails and those are lethal. Alcohol really affects my sleep so I'm staying off it for a while, haven't had a drink since weds night - not even NYE.
We still have loads of booze in after Xmas so whilst midweek isn't a problem, next weekend may be.

Good luck to you all.

Well I saw the new year in with a drink, Nothing NYD, 1 beer yesterday & a bottle of wine over the day today.

Bought lots of soft drinks today so going to give it a crack one day at a time. There is no alcohol in the house so unless I buy any tomorrow on the weekly shop it will remain so.

All the rest of the things in my life that are probably causing the drinking are going to take a lot of effort to sort out, but they definitely won't get sorted out if I'm pissed will they.

Good work! Keep it up and if you do have a lapse remember that's not a failure! It's a lapse. Good luck with it!

Work out how much money you are saving by not drinking, and then use that money to get yourself a treat which you wouldn't ordinarily justify.
New bike or something- a goal to aim for if you keep off it for long enough.

Slip her some tetraethylthiuram disulfide.

[url= http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1520449/pdf/califmed00242-0009.pdf ]Technical explanation here[/url]

Only drawback is that the treatment for the side effects of tetraethylthiuram disulfide is benzodiazepine.

Strength for today MrOvershoot. and what rt60 says

Erdinger Alkoholfrei almost helps you feel like your having a beer.

keep going MrOS .. be objective and work through it!

Top effort Mr Overshoot! Take it a day at a time and be proud of what you're achieving.

I'm post Xmas holidays an in my head I'm quitting. Not a big drinker but when I go out its usually a big one, 12 hours or so. Most of it I don't remember.
The only drink I really enjoy is a couple of cold bottles before a meal. But because it's in the house a couple can turn into 6+, but it if it's not there it's not a miss.
Lost a few old mates over the last few years to alcohol (mid 40's) and the sad reality is there's a few more to go over the next few years.

A few of these sound familiar.

For me, I just can't handle hangovers anymore, for a whole day I'm wiped out. Decided as I get on, I may not have so many left....can't be wasting them on feeling like poo.

With most things in my life, I'm on, or off. Same with booze, if it's there, I'll drink it, problem is your body gets used to it....also, I have big gulps. I was out with a few lads from work and I constantly noticed I'd be close to the end whilst they still had 3/4 left...can't be standing there empty handed so you get another one in....soon adds up.

I've been thinking about it for a while, decided I'm never really going to keep it in check....the devil in me always gets carried away after the first few, so decided to try and knock it on the head. Fine when I'm at home, in fact I sleep bloody wonderfully, think it will be a bit tough when the lads head out for a few cold ones after work...still, can join to be social for a quick coke or something and then head off early.

Will miss a glass of good wine with meals, but the ups have to out weight the downs.

Next visit back to the UK and being in a pub with proper brown beer will also be a bit tough...still, when needs must!!

I went shopping and bought nothing alcoholic just more soft drinks, missed not having a glass of wine while cooking 🙁
Tonight I've been too bloody busy taking crimbo decorations down and re packaging that bloody Titus Rockstar frame back up to go back to O-O to really notice.
As I have to be up extra early to take the wife to hospital for her 3 monthly eye injections (horrible) no drink is probably a good thing.

I'm trying to drink diet stuff as I don't want to replace empty alcohol calories with sugary calories, but I can't stand the aftertaste of artificial sweeteners.
I tried to look for non alcoholic beers but the only ones I could find were larger types and I'm not a larger drinker.
Any suggestions?

The Eridinger Alkolfri is great as stated earier, it a wheat beer.
Doesn't taste like real beer but its pleasant to drink but didn't taste like wee either unlike alcohol free becks. Plus its rich in vitamins and isotonic so you can use it as a recovery drink

[url= http://www.erdinger-alkoholfrei.co.uk/en/alkoholfrei-uk-highlights.html ]erdinger[/url]

Bavaria WIT is pleasant. Normail alcohol free bavaria is boggin though. There are some german ones that i picked up but can't remember its name - i'll have a dig for the name.

Edit - http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/maisels-weisse-alcoholfree-wheat-beer-500ml-p-350.html?cPath=2_65_12&osCsid=d7623db4e5364292e4ae5ccdabcd8987 found it!

Have a swatch at this:
http://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/alcoholfree-beers-c-2_65_12.html

I'm not going to be joining her but will support her any way I can

errrr...

maybe you giving up, even if it's only for a month or so would at least be supportive?

I had a look for the Eridinger Alkolfri in our local Sainsburys but they only had the full fat one.

Thanks for that steveoath something to browse over later

Second on the Erdinger its very quaffable - still has some calories though

Well Mrs Danny hasn't had a drink since Christmas day, me since 27th Dec.

To be far so far it's been relatively easy as we're just not thinking about it. I was in one of my favourite cafe bars yesterday though with some good real ale on but I managed to resist.

Already we're both sleeping better and generally feeling a bit healthier. Just hope we can both keep it up.

Already had friends asking if we're mad for doing it!

I am not going for tea-total but rather a noticeable reduction in the number of days I drink.

The idea being that if I have a couple of beers my determination gets washed away and I have a few more. If I don't have the first beer then I avoid the second etc.

So far I have been dry every night except last Sunday where I permitted myself a couple of beers in the sauna and then four more spread over the evening.

That means 6 beers in 5 nights rather than most nights. Alcohol helps me dull reality so I don't care how boring it really is so the main issue is the boredom and realizing how crap TV is.

On the bright side I seem to have lost 3lbs in 5 days which is good.