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MrsSlim, 41, was told to be highly unlikely to ever be able to conceive over 20 years ago.
3x positive test results later we are both sitting here scratching our heads somewhat.
I would be very interested to hear from any folk with relative experience of 'older' parenthood - good advice, things to consider, risks etc.
I thank you.
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😉
Congratulations!
Stay up the dry end.
Congratulations 😀
38 when we had our youngest.
My advice, the first couple of months are brutal, great but brutal - assume you got till late summer to prep?
Get on your bike and get as fit a possible, it’ll make it easier to function day after day, after day, after day on a few hours broken kip. That’s the thing that broke me.
Two guys at work first time fathers in their 50s. So count your blessings 🙂
I turned 40 earlier this year and am the proud owner of a nine week old daughter. We also have a (nearly) four year old son. Mrs F is 34. Love them both to bits.
I sometimes worry about how old I’ll be when they are teenagers and am concerned about being a burden on them at a point in their lives when they should be thinking of themselves. Funk Jr still doesn’t sleep well (sat in a chair in his room typing this), so tiredness is a major issue.
The positives far outweigh the negatives though. It’s simply a pleasure watching them and spending time with them. I partiality regret not having them earlier. Mrs F and I have been together for over 17 years, but I had a lot of baggage from my upbringing that put me off having kids for a while. It’s odd because I know I’m a better parent now than I would have been in my late 20’s or early 30’s.
Congratulations and try not to think about it too much and just enjoy being a parent. It’s what I try and do. Good luck OP
Just embrace it ..I was 46 when I became a second time parent and my boy is now 14..
As long as you can handle the fact that most people will automatically think that you are the grandparents 😀
I took great pleasure in putting them right ..
Many congratulations ..it will keep you young !
Get on your bike and get as fit a possible, it’ll make it easier to function day after day, after day, after day on a few hours broken kip. That’s the thing that broke me.
I tried this approach when Funk Jr was born. It resulted in lots of injuries including a broken arm. YMMV. Nearly four years of broken sleep now 😀
I'm 43, missus is 41. Have a 13 month old nipper. Only scare was her blood tests at the 12 week scan threw up a high risk of down syndrome. Was 1:57 risk and classed as high. Spent the next few months proper nervous. Luckily hes totally fine.
Haha flashy, bringa back memorials of my old man that!
Congratulations OP ! It's the greatest thing eva
46 here.. and we have a 4 year old and a 22 month old.
My other half is 36 mind ..
Best thing I ever did.. well besides the couple of RTW trips, climbing Europe’s highest peaks, getting wasted in Hamburg .....
:@)
Embrace it mate, it will give you a younger outlook and age you all in one food splattered table sitting !
i was 48 when my son was born, partner was 45 (she had her first at 40). no problems at all, despite the experts warning us that they intended to induce a week before due date because we were high-risk (partner disputed, the only high risk factor was age but regular monitoring during pregnancy never gave any cause for concern at all). they didn't induce, and he was born with minimal assistance (needed ventouse as he wasn't at the right angle) after a 6 hour labour. both mother and baby were fine, and he's such a brilliant little 15 month old now.
good luck, and enjoy it all!
brack - Member
46 here..My other half is 36 mind ..
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Was 2 months short of my 40th when we had our eldest. Two more followed within 4.5 years - there wasn’t much on tv. Our eldest is now 6 and not sure we have finished yet, helped my my Wife still being only 38. But I’ve got to think of my sanity at my age 😆
To be honest OP, 30 or 40 you are in ignorant bliss first time round with plenty of sleep and spare time in the bank
Oh..17 year difference here ..Ive also been "accused " of being her dad too 😆
Age is just a number ..
Congrats SlimJim and MRsSJ. Fingers crossed for you. I’d suggest that you wait until your 12 wk scan before telling everyone and you have a non invasive prenatal test. MrG’s best friend had twins at 44yrs old - that was some lifestyle shock.
43 here when my son was born and Mrs Gti was 41 - we met late in life.
The amnio test will always give a high probability because it is skewed by her age. The first three days are a shock, the next three weeks exhausting and the next three months get better and better. Ours didn't sleep through until he got onto formula. The key is ROUTINE: kids love routine and hate disruption. After that, reinforce good behaviour and not bad, read to them every night before bed, no matter how young. You're older, more patient and wiser and the child will benefit from that.
44 here with a 2yo and an almost 4 month old. First 2-4 months are brutal. No sleep, no rest... Well there's never any rest! You'll get through, everyone does, then it is better and amazing fun.... Just gets better and better! Congratulations!!
Congratulations!
All the people I know who had their first child in their 40s turned from decent human beings into child having monsters*. So beware! It was like having a child was something so new no-one had ever done before in the history of mankind and it was their duty to inform everyone of every little detail about their child at every available opportunity. From the point they found out onwards it was all they could ever talk about exclusively.
*Ok I only know one couple but still.
hodgynd - Member
Oh..17 year difference here ..Ive also been "accused " of being her dad too
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I was 42 wife 39. son was seven last week. Just as my mates were kicking there kids out of the house I had a new addition.
Although I had to have a **** into a plastic tube (and £5k on a credit card) for the conception. Don’t feel like I have misssed out on having a life to look back on, unlike others I know who had kids early 20s.
Close to fifty and life is ace even if wife’s moaning and work is shit. I never really wanted any kids and had no idea on how to cope with everything, it all seemed to happen organically.
Highly recommended for the older couples IMO.
Is 38 close enough?
I can't say there have been any specific age-related problems. I'm still fitter than most of my daughters friends parents. Being a bit older, you should also be more settled/wise and be able to bring that to bear.
Congrats!
2 boys here, born when I was 36 and 38 respectively. I know what you mean about worrying about being an old parent when they are in their teens. Got to do your best to keep young!
I will go a little against all the rose tinted stuff up there. The first seven months for both boys was utterly shit with a couple of brief moments of joy. At about 6 months you start to see a bit of interaction and personality so it starts seeming worth it, but I really can't handle the sleep deprivation and genuinely had moments of nearly chucking them out the window. A couple of times I went out on 100milers leaving at 5am with no sleep as I'd just had enough. Packed my bags one night and nearly walked out. Had a slight breakdown at work... This time round coping better, I am in the back room and haven't actually slept in my own bed for nearly 9 months now (still get woken all the time), I have in effect given up all my hobbies and have to snatch a bit of time for diy jobs in between all the nap times. Back to survival mode, I am not particularly enjoying this phase.
However, I know it will get better, it was the same with #1 and as soon as he slept through at 7 months it all got better, everything is easier with sleep, so I'm holding out for this with #2. First born is great now, loads of fun and only has the very occasional difficult moment. Life would be utterly tedious without him. It has helped put things in perspective, though I still stress about work regularly.
Prep for an utter shit ride to start with, and if you are lucky and get an easy one, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about
I was 39, wife, 42, when we had our first. We thought we'd never have one, then stopped caring about it so much then "boom", the phrase "so i'm never getting a motorbike I suppose" was the first words I uttered when the pea stick was jammed in my face at 7:30am.
She had Gestational Diabetes which was hellish for her, add to that Gastroenteritis that put her in hospital for a week......other than that all was well.
First 18 months for us were pretty bad due to the little one not being able to get the wind up very easily, we went through different bottles and milk before striking gold. Lots of driving around town at 4am trying to get her to sleep.
As said above, get fit, it's the one thing I wish I did before the little one turned up. I did the opposite and suffered for it.
And, congratulations
Congratulations!
Trust me when he/she arrives any reservations will be forgotten!
Think society is older as a whole now, heck I’ll be working till I’m 80 at this rate.
Im 40 and have a 19 month old daughter and one due in May. If anything it’s given me the drive to stay fit.
Not that I feel it would have any massive impact on her happiness but I am in a much better financial position than when I was 30. I’ve also had longer to reflect on the positive aspects of my upbringing and how to replicate those.
As mentioned previously I’d focus my worry on the first few months of hell that is unleashed post birth and how to get as much riding/sleep as possible before then
I will go a little against all the rose tinted stuff up there. The first seven months for both boys was utterly shit with a couple of brief moments of joy.
Ha yea, wish people would actually tell you how hard it really is!!
All those telly adverts with perfect babies and their perfect families used to wind me right up, especially at 4 in the morning when I’d not slept for 72 hours and was covered in baby shit.
You do get through it though.
Just shy of 38 with first and second is due when i will be 6 months off 40.
Biggest changes are the fact i cant just go and do something when I want now and my fitness has plunged at the same rate as my bank balance... we got very used to 2 good salaries and only outgoings fun stuff (bar mortgage) plus holidays in nice places now i cant go to tesco for a sandwich without 20 quids worth of baby stuff
I can barely remember the first couple months and ****ed up at work for sure due to not really being with it but I still wouldnt change a thing. The first time you realise they totally adore you no matter what you are melts your heart. And being welcomed home every night is great.
Cant wait for number 2 ...
I often contemplate how our species survived when our offspring do everything they can to make you a zombie for the first 6+ months. I sometimes have trouble working a coffee machine let alone hunting some food for dinner
I'm 45, soon-to-be 46, and we had our youngest when we were both 41.
To be honest, I credit having kids with keeping me young. They give you an excuse to enjoy things like Christmas the way you might have when you were young; they force you to see the world their way (at least some times); they give you the chance to rediscover things you yourself might have found pleasurable in childhood.
And as for them 'changing your life', I have never bought it. They become a part of your life. And while that may change things for a person, so do a lot of factors.
Enjoy it!
41 here and Mrs Kato is 39. We have an 11 month old girl and another on the way
Life changing and all for the better. Don’t have a great deal of time to ride my bikes mind you. Congratulations and enjoy!
38 yr old parents of a 19 month old here.
I got sick of people telling me to "get my sleep in" before she arrived. It's obviously nonsense, but do make sure you take nothing for granted now. Nothing is the same again, even a quiet night in front of the TV.
To be honest, I found the first few months to be almost a chore, a constant 24/7 cycle of feed, change and try to make the baby sleep. Do whatever it takes to get you through and don't worry about whether it will form bad habits, habits can be broken and changed when you've had a better night's sleep!
Everyone will say it gets easier and it does, eventually it clicks and you see this little person that you've created and are responsible for and it is mind blowing!
34 when number 4 arrived, could not have done it in my 40s, hat's off to you older Dads
I had twins when i was 41, luckily for me i already had grey hair as they have added a few more. Congrats to both of you.
flap_jack - Member
Two guys at work first time fathers in their 50s. So count your blessings
Wait a minute.
This is a freaking miracle, fooled against millennia of reproductive biology!
Firstly, many congratulations. Secondly, I don’t know if there is any difference in advice for first-time parents whatever the age. My advice would be: -
1). Don’t buy too much stuff!
2). Relax. Everyone is winging it!
3). Look after each other and looking after baby will be easy.
I'm 52 my wife is 42 my son is 6, so I was 45 ish when we and the NHS conceived him.
Having a baby wise it is a hard life changing life but the most rewarding thing you do . The first months are utterly exhaustingly focused on the child. But like any trauma you black it out afterwards.
On the age thing I was very aware of it at first but a) many more people are having first children older now ,b) my life at 50+ is younger in attitude than my dad's was at 30 and c) the life you have had up to now equips you to be the father you now need to be. Having had quite a full life before crankbrat I'm now more than happy to focus on and enjoy being with him.
Top tip ensure you get to enjoy time alone with your partner , a child free weekend in a nice place is a good break even if your entire conversation is about your absent offspring.
I'll put a bit of a downer on it and say being pregnant does not necessarily lead to having a baby. Miscarriage is very very common and it has likely happened to most of the couples you know.
Being a parent is very rewarding but also brutal. I really suffer without sleep and remember woefully my days before wife and kids.
PostScript congratulations and everything will be ok , and anything that is not ok is just a phase.
Just to add I genuinely dont remember much of the first few months with either of my kids, think I was just so sleep deprived I just soldiered through it on autopilot but bonus is I dont remember much about how bad it obviously was...
Don't do it!
Oh,...wait..
Congrats OP, still hope for me then
Congratulations!
Its amazing. My wife and I were 38 when we had our first. Our second came along two years later and we thought that would be it. But oh, no, at the age of 42 we're now expecting again in May. Which was a surprise. 😯
As said further up: the first few weeks, possibly months are pretty bewildering. You learn to cope with the sleep deprivation. A netflix subscription helps to get you through the inevitable completely sleep free periods. You'll get loads of advice from all over the place much of which may be unwarranted. This place is pretty good. Listen to it all & then make your own plan. There is no "formula" or "method". Everyone, every child is different.
The best, most truthful thing I was ever told by anyone about parenting is this: [b]IT GETS EASIER[/b]
I have in effect given up all my hobbies
😆 diddums, I shouldn’t imagine your partner is doing much in the way of leisure time either! 😆
First six months 😆 sat trying to convince Funk Jr to go back to sleep. Fed his sister an hour ago and was just drifting off when Jr’s little face appeared next to me “Daddy, is Father Christmas outside?”
I’m hoping that he’ll start sleeping when he starts school next year. His sister is nine weeks and sleeps better than he does 😥
Netflix and a voracious reading habit have been my friends for nigh on four years. My fitness is rubbish, blood pressure too high and work is difficult due to a serious inability to concentrate. On the plus side I laugh a lot more than I used to because of Funk Jr and have seen more TV series and read more books than most people would in twenty years. Polished off books six and seven of The Expanse last week.
You learn to cope with the sleep deprivation.
Actually, you don't. You just forget what it's like to be normal.
Key thing to remember is that lots of really dumb people manage to raise kids. As long as you feed them and wipe away the shit afterwards, they just grow up pretty much regardless of what you do. You can be a really lousy parent and your kids will still think you're awesome, so just try not to worry too much.
‘Sleep deprivation, covered in vomit, and poo, constantly tired, exhausted, life changing,brutal, emotional, sleeping in different beds’
You see that’s where I had a head start and was totally prepared ....
I’m a paramedic
Congratulations 🙂
Don't let the wee one sleep in your bed, as it will set a precedence for years to come.
Baby cries for attention, if you can ignore, they will stop.
Feed formula milk just before bed, as this takes longer to digest than breast milk, letting you sleep longer.
This all may sound harsh to some,and at the time was hard to do but this was advice we were given and it works. Happy, rested parents = happy baby. Mind you they tend to become miserable teenagers, whatever you do 😕 😆
Just want to say congratulations op.
My mum was early 40's when I came along, my dad early 50's.
I had the best childhood you could imagine.
I'm sure it will be exhausting at times but oh so worth it!
Had mine late, first on at 37 second at 41. I know it's a cliche but it keeps you young. Congrats - done start this by stressing about it.
4 year old and 1 year old here. I can't remember much in the way of specifics of the first year or so of either one's life. All I remember is it was hellish and when it wasn't it was boring as ****.
Now that Number 2 is walking and talking and assaulting her big brother it's actually quite fun.
If you want to go riding set a very quiet alarm for 5:30 in the morning at the weekends having prepared all your riding gear and bike the night before. Also, get a bike trailer as soon as they can hold their heads up. Good for fitness if nothing else.
In addition, you're going to be spending a [i]lot[/i] of time bending over to pick things up off the floor. Use this as an opportunity to work on squats and straight leg dead lifts. It's good for flexibility and should help avoid back problems.
Most important of all, don't over-think things. 90% of decisions you make are going to be wrong anyway so just go with whatever seems easiest.
Just to re-inforce the older patent thing; part if your responsibility to your child is to be around for them while they are growing up. Not just on a day-to-day basis, but in the longer term too. That means looking after your own physical and mental health. Cycling, walking and running are all excellent for that. Make time for yourself on a regular basis. You may find that road cycling and/or running give you a bigger fitness boost when time-constrained as you've less pre-ride faff and post-ride washing and maintenance. Make sure your partner does the same.
Nearly 42 when our little man was born, first couple of months were hectic as he has a genetic blood disorder, which luckily I had taken redundancy as he was born, so had the time to be there as we were at the hospital every other day, but he'll be 3 in March and wouldn't change a thing, allows you to be a big kid in public and get away with it, but also the terrible are terrible lol.
Can't really add much to what's been said above, other than to reiterate that if you go into it expecting everything to go perfectly then you're going to have a bit of a let down. Adopt a special forces mentality and you'll be fine (no plan survives the first contact; adapt, improvise, overcome)
And that's where I reckon being an older father / parent is actually an advantage. OK, your 'risk factors' will be higher but even a 1:100 chance of say Downs is still a 99/100 chance of not. But you've been around, you're likely to have seen and dealt with stressful situations already and be less likely to be fazed by what is coming.
And hopefully you'll be in a more advanced stage of life so if needed maybe you have more disposable income, overpayments in mortgages and so on so you have more flexibility if mum doesn't want to go back to work, or part time or whatever. My kids were born when I was 34 and 36 and we struggled to adapt to the loss of income because our mortgage was higher as a % of income and so on, I'd have managed far better today, which added to the stress which I could deal with less well, because at 34 I was basically still a child in a grown up body 😉
And anyway, 40's is no age nowadays - congratulations and get on with it! Think of all the teenage parties you can go to in your 60's, and all the 15 years younger mums that you'll be mixing with 😉
I've just turned 38 and have an almost 16 month old daughter.
She's awesome. I have uttered the words "no more kids" on occasion (4am), but the rough bits are soon forgotten.
If life deals us another we'll be happy. Then snippy snippy!
Many thanks for the well wishes everyone, very kind of you all.
In the interest of full disclosure, I actually have an 8yo son from a previous relationship whom stays with us most weekends, plus (current) MrsSlim is a primary teacher by profession (dept-head), so we hopefully have a fairly good basis from which to start this potential new and unexpected adventure.
The biggest shock is more the case that MrsSlim was told so many years ago that she was unable to conceive so we had settled down together over the last few years fully expecting a nice selfish cruise into our golden years 🙂
Having never gotten her head around the idea of being a parent it is wonderful seeing her over the last couple of days as the penny slowly drops..
By the way, we both quit sugar at the start of this year - I've lost 5st in weight but MrsSlim has also done great to lose around 3st herself, and we are under no illusion that the health benefits of kicking sugar/refined carbs (and increased activity) has had an enormous part to play in this baby malarky..
So, I'd love to hear more about screening options and potentially what other options are available for checking baby health in early stages. Of course our biggest concern is the increased risk of conditions such as Downs as she is over 40. We've been told about 'screening with a potential follow up option of anmniocentisis' which I recall is the more invasive procedure. Are there any newer private alternatives?
Whilst I fully appreciate that this is very early days (and am very much primed for worst case scenario) - I'm keeping as calm as a cucumber outwardly - despite my current RHR increase from its norm of 54-55 to a noticeably thumpy 87-88 😮
We were given the option to screen, we took it then never heard anything back so assumed low risk and our daughter was born healthy. Once we'd done it though we regretted it really, on reflection we really didn't know what we would do if told there was a high likelihood of downs.
As your wife was under the impression she couldn't concieve, if she now gets told there a 1/54 chance of downs, what are you going to do with that information?
This is obviously a very personal issue, we just look back now and think we would have been happier through the pregnancy remaining ignorant.
There is a non invasive follow up for the amnio being
Trialled, may be nation wide now, not sure. Called something like the Harmony test.
As a flip side, I'm 46 and the wife 45. Our 2 are 19 and 23 (years not months) and some time early 2018 our house will become just us two, a dog and a cat.
Can't wait 😀
You're all slightly deranged 😉
No, we are utterly, totally nuts
Nearly 48 with a 17 and 14 year old - no sign of an empty house. Lots of sound advice here, and as you've had one, you'll know it's hard at first.
I took two weeks off on leave when both were born, as you'll struggle to function and get used to lack of sleep at first.
Congrats on being able to have kids, bet your partner is over the moon.
OP - about what neilnevill said, yes there's the Harmony/NIPT (non-invasive pre-natal test). We got a scare with the hormone blood test (something like a 1 in 7 risk) and that was a stressful few weeks. We paid for the Harmony test (£450 I think). It came back 1 in 10,000 risk and was a big relief. We now have a beautiful 7 month old daughter who I love to bits.
Lots of good advice up there. Much like that "special forces" advice above - if one thing works then don't expect that to continue to be the case. If it stops working then try something different. I didn't read any books as I didn't want to have any preconceptions of what an "ideal" parenting style should be, I felt pretty confident that I'd manage to be a good dad. My partner bought piles of books then stressed after reading certain sections and also worried that she'd not read every book cover to cover. The only thing I've made use of has been the Wonder Weeks app for some insight into what on earth is going on. My biking has gone from 3 rides a week to 1 or 2 a month, I've put on weight, and I miss my biking friends. However, my daughter is ace.
I'd say the hardest thing (apart from the sleep deprivation) has been managing the house and the mum/dad relationship. A new baby can add a lot of stress and any weak points will potentially crack. We've had a very stressful time through the whole journey - mainly to do with our own dynamic as a couple. It needs teamwork and we've definitely been working against each other on aspects of family life (caused by some fundamental differences of opinion and poor communication). Still, our daughter is a bundle of joy and seems very content despite this.
Other observations: babies make all sorts of weird noises, never transport a baby without a nappy or incontinence pad underneath (unless you want to be cleaning yellow poo out of a cream rug!) and peekaboo never gets boring!
Best wishes for your journey into the unknown from a new dad at 44 and a mum aged 40
Was 45 when we adopted, wife was 44.We were both ready for kids and under no illusion as to how our lives would change completely. I think if you get that then the rest is a piece of p1ss and age is meaningless.
Try not to drink as much though.
46 with a 16 month old boy. It was brutal at first (weeks 6 to 12 were nonstop screaming), but gets easier as time passes. Though I'm beginning to suspect it will never be easy.
Anyhow, you asked for advice and not my moans. We were in the USA when he was conceived and for the bulk of the pregnancy and the health care there was head and shoulders above the shit show that was our experience of the NHS. If you can afford to, go private.
Get tested for strep b. This is important and not done on the NHS. There is a test that can be done at 30 weeks to check the function of the placenta that is not done in U.K. but can be done privately. Eat properly, take the vitamins, no booze or caffeine while pregnant. Try to be cool. Try to keep your wife calm (it can be stressful for some).
Once the baby is out, don't get so hung up on what he/she should be doing/eating/sleeping/etc. There is an obsession in the uk that your baby should progress on a fixed line. Feed them healthy food, do your best with getting them to sleep and give them loads of cuddles and love and they will be fine and get on in their own good time.
Prepare for your life to change. Pretty much all aspects of it.
Congrats and best wishes!
We got on as a couple better the second time round because we acknowledged we would spend the first year hating each other.
The lack of sleep is like no other. First one slept through at 9 months and the second one is 7 months and counting and still wakes for night feeds despite eating everything.
I was a few months off 40, daughter is now 2.
Sometimes envy friends who have older kids and are starting to regain the freedom to go out but then I remember the freedom I had when they had young kids. Giving up that freedom to go riding for more than an couple if hours and ease of doing anything simple like just popping to the shops has been tough.
Some concerns that I'll be late in my 50s when she's a teenager but age is more about attitude that an actual date.
Good luck, it's worth it
Looking around the fellow parents when picking the kids up from school, it would appear that most are around my age (45 , eldest is 10). His mates look on in awe when you kick their ass on the PlayStation though 
When picking up the 4 year old, the parents look a lot younger .
Brings it home a bit , when your mates you went to school with have grand children the same age as your kids 😀
You get a bochemical blood screen for Downs from the NHS from 12weeks but it’s a fairly incurrate test and still only gives you risk score.
There are 3 UK based private NIPT providers (Harmony is one) - which you can get with a dating scan from 10weeks usually from a private ultrasound clinic. These are a blood test using DNA testing and very accurate/sensitive/specific.
Aminocenetsis is invasive, later in pregnancy (+16wks), has some minor risks of complications and is the most accurate test. Usually you only get an amino with a abnormal ultrasound.
Good luck!
I'm 46 and have an 8, 7 and 3 yr old. Me and the mrs were told that we were unlikely to conceive and had 3 attempts at IVF before getting pregnant naturally 3 times. Shocked to get the 1st, confused at the 2nd and looking to get a refund on the IVF costs by the 3rd! Not sure age makes a huge difference to be honest, especially if you're reasonably fit and healthy anyway (we all ride bikes, right? 🙂 )
Anyway, it's not rocket science - they either need feeding, cleaning or sleep. Or all 3. Or some combination of 2 out of the 3.....
Good luck OP, don't over think it and try (really try!) to enjoy it.
Congrats
Another old Pappa here. Was 46 when my son was born - 5 years ago. The Norwegian wifey is 10 years younger then me so Ive got a ready made nurse for when I'm totally worn out - about 5 years I guess
scotroutes - Member
Just to re-inforce the older patent thing; part if your responsibility to your child is to be around for them while they are growing up...
This is very good advice.
(Last child at 50)
Son just turned one, me 41 when he was born, OH a few years younger. Biggest trouble we've had is with him consistently waking 3 or 4 times every night. Seen very little vomit, but plenty of rancid crappy nappies. He's toddling now and so while it's tiring constantly chasing him round to see what he's got his hands into, there's also a lot of fun playing around. Best advice is probably not to expect your own baby's progress to be too comparable with that of other babies. Desire for a second child has been skimming zero for a while but the past few weeks has established a small upward trend.
One toddler of 18 months here, and another due just before we turn 40 this summer.
I really struggled for the first year or so, despite my wife being at home all that time. I hated the change to my life, the planning even the most basic trip out required and the realisation that my needs had dropped way down the list of priorities. I didn’t do anything for myself (no cycling and no canoeing) which I should have done for my well-being if nothing else. I suspect I suffered a a good bit of new Dad depression, but being an idiot I pressed on. At one point I harboured serious thoughts of buying a van and fleeing the country. Having children is a massive, life changing event which can take some chaps a good while to get used to.
Looking back I realise how much I’ve grown in the last two years and how wonderful a family can be. I’m loving spending time with the little bugger now, and any doubts I had have left entirely. I’m finding new enthusiasm for silly things that adults take for granted but children are fascinated by, and my priorities have changed entirely to help plan for the future of our little gang. I found the first year crap, but it has definitely got way better...
Good luck, OP, and congratulations!