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After 2 weeks of listening to all our politicians pontificate on how they will cure all our ills I have reached the conclusion that there is only 1 answer.
We need a Dictator.
Now they need to be a Benign dictator who is prepared to ignore public opinion to do some of the unpleasant things needed to sort out or finances and without resorting to hanging bankers or politicians.
So who would be the ideal dictator?
Nah.
We need a dictator who WILL resort to hanging bankers & other politicians
Me. The obvious answer. Probably a few parasites will leave the country as well once I am installed
Next question?
Ooh! Ooh! Can I be Chief Inquisitor?
PLEEEEEEEEEEAAASEEE?????
Heh! I could torture Hora all day long! 😀
Duly appointed Talky
Now who else for the cabinet? Of course I reserve the right not to listen to them.
What’s wrong with hanging the bankers, I have yet to hear an argument that there is any special requirement to do that work, it seems to be intellectually on par with low level technical work or administrative jobs, the kind of work that could be done by 60% or more of the population with a little training.
And as for the politicians, they become surplus to requirements in a dictatorship anyway, may as well just hang em up.
Obviously somebody who doesn't desperately want to be a dictator.
Me.
Ooops.
Duly appointed Talky
Yay! 😀
(Toddles off to select torture instruments...)
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I'll handle defence, if that's OK.
I'd sort of got you pencilled in for foreign office. CFH - still Defense - you're in.
I was merely thinking on re-employing all politicians as menial serfs shovelling Sh** and other pleasant jobs at minimum wage and stripping them of their pensions etc. A far more effective punishment than just killing them.
Torture as a tool for retribution is much more effective if done mentally to supposedly otherwise bright intelligent people than just hang draw and quarter them ( I admit there may be exceptions eg Blair)
FO? Well, I can handle that sort of thing, TJ. I'm a jolly clubbable chap and more than capable of a few linguistic turns. Smashing.
Me. The obvious answer.
epic fail there TJ
bruk - MemberSo who would be the ideal dictator?
Me! Me! Me!
I promise to be good and will rule the land Henry VIII style.
Brazen Bull anyone?
p/s: did I hear someone questioning me? ... Off with the head!
it seems to be intellectually on par with low level technical work or administrative jobs, the kind of work that could be done by 60% or more of the population with a little training.
That would certainly come as good news to bank CEOs because now they can fire all their expensive staff and replace them with much cheaper people.
That would certainly come as good news to bank CEOs because now they can fire all their expensive staff and replace them with much cheaper people.
That won't happen, the ceo's come from the same schools and are part of the same system of inflated egos and self intrest, they believe they are all something special, without any evidence to support the fact.
Peer reviewed pay deals, I wish I could sit down with my mates and we could all decide how much each other was paid.
chewkw
Too late my son - Me and talky got in their first. I'm in charge, Talkemada is playing the Beria role, CFH got foreign office.
I might be able to find a minor role for you.
The dictator and his cabinet are setting up nicely for my "bloodless" coup in a few years. Flash, you'll never last with TeeJ...time to rethink your move. Talcumpowdermada, have a think too...
If TJ's running the country I'll leave now. Nothing will ever get done cos the country will be on strike.
Tree - I thought you were in your sandpit at the moment?
anyway - no one will go on strike in the TJ workers paradise - cos if they do I will set talkemada on them. there will be no room for strikes in TJs workers paradise
TJ will there be a lack of petrol, general failure of business and a breakdown of society in a wyndham-esque way?
if so, count me in... 😆
runs off to find big stick, gun & self sufficient pad somewhere remote with good trails
Yup, still out here, and not coming back now!!
You better hope there isn't a TJ ver 2 out there anywhere, or he's gonna sue you for denying the right to strike!
Tree - defence is still going if you want a place in teh TJ cabinet.
DaRC_L - that will happen anyway
Talcumpowdermada needs to have people scared of him.
Okay then.
*tows the party line*
I'm assuming it's ok to U-Turn in the tj cabinet then!! It's gonna be interesting having a left wing dictator and right wing FO and Defence...
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Or - Its better to have them in the tent pissing out than outside pissing in.
bagsy health, and I can also tutor talkemada in the prodding of the genitalia with big pointy sticks, etc.
If health's already spoken for, could I be minister in charge of burning stuff?
TJ - you can't be a proper dictator without a Ministry for Truth and Justice....
TandemJeremy - Member
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.Or - Its better to have them in the tent pissing out than outside pissing in.
Aye. I'm defo not pming CFH organising our coups...
no one will go on strike in the TJ workers paradise - cos if they do I will set talkemada on them. there will be no room for strikes in TJs workers paradise
I'd never realised you were a closet Thatcherite.
A sniff of power and its "principles - what principles?"
barnsleymitch - you're in.
Whoo, and indeed, hoo. I'm off to perform a very bloody coup of NHS middle management, and if they dont like it, I've got the kindling and matches to hand 😆
environment please - you ban the cars boss and I will help us save the trees
I'll do educashun
Can we have uniforms? With all gold braid on and that?
Fine chaps - your in.
Now - Ernie for truth and justice?
Anyway, shouldn't Talkemada be People's Commissar for Foreign Affairs or People's Commissar for War?
Hmmmm...
I don't think this is going to end well.
So long as you don't upstage me mitch - I share a tailor with Gaddafi
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Hmm, a bit bland. What about mexican wrestling costumes? And you're going to need a handbag TJ, after all, it never did that nice Mrs Thatcher's image any harm. And a moustache, of course, everybody likes a nice manly 'tache.
so - where does the Gulag go? Swindon? Cumbernauld?
Norfolk. Not much riding in Norfolk.
This party's gonna need a name TJ. I nominate 'The mighty bast**ds'.
deadlydarcy - Member
Talcumpowdermada needs to have people scared of him.
You dare to dare to question me? ME???
Believe me, when I get going, you'll dream of being just 'scared'....
MI5 anyone? I'm sure this thread would be of interest.
MI5 person: We will ask you one more time Mr TJ explain how you and your co-conspirtors intended to take power.
TJ: It was just a bit of fun on an internet bike forum, honest.
MI5 person: That is not what a Mr Captainflashheart tells us, after his conversation with our new employee Mr Talkemada.
TJ: You spying scum when I'm in charge you'll...oh buger.
MI5 person: Perhaps you should meet Mr Talkemada and his instruments.
That won't happen, the ceo's come from the same schools and are part of the same system of inflated egos and self intrest, they believe they are all something special, without any evidence to support the fact.
Think you're confusing two different things - director/ceo pay circlejerk and pay set for employees. Bankers are not the CEO's peers and banks are not collectives based on upper class solidarity. The management would screw the employees out of any salary in a second if they could. They only pay what the market demands - and if highly-paid banking was actually monkey work that 60% of the populace could do with minimal training, they'd have them in doing it instead.
I wish I could sit down with my mates and we could all decide how much each other was paid.
You can, when you're in charge of a multi billion pound business.
Speaking of which, if it's so easy and does not need any special skills to do, then why aren't you doing it?
I'll let you into a secret by the way. People are not paid according to some arbitrary scale of perceived worth. They are paid according to how many people there are that can do that job, and how much money that job can make when it's being done. So that makes bankers highly paid, and factory workers not. That's capitalism, suck it up.
*heads to hills to organise Peoples Popular Liberation Army against this red fascist junta*
I can also tutor talkemada in the prodding of the genitalia with big pointy sticks, etc.
the last thing turkey murder needs is tutoring in manipulating genitalia. his posting on here leads me to suspect that he's already olympic class.
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Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Speaking of which, if it's so easy and does not need any special skills to do, then why aren't you doing it?I'll let you into a secret by the way. People are not paid according to some arbitrary scale of perceived worth. They are paid according to how many people there are that can do that job, and how much money that job can make when it's being done. So that makes bankers highly paid, and factory workers not. That's capitalism, suck it up.
Do you really believe we live in a meritocracy? please do tell me, what special skills would be required to work in investment banking, that excludes us all from having the ability? What is it they do so well that is beyond so many of us mere mortals.
They have these jobs because they had the opportunity, the old school tie is alive and kicking in the banking sector (not talking about branch clerks and helpdesk personnel here obviously). They look after themselves and it is a closed club to 99% of the population.
TJ you may laugh but they are watching and listening.
You have all dictator qualifications, socialist tenancy, over active moral code, far to many ideas and the big give away, Dictator of your own empire-captain of a tandem. Both Hitler and Stalin had tandems in their formative years, that Chavez chap has just ordered one from Dawes. He wanted a Ventana but they are from the US and that would have ruined his cred with the people.
They award themselves the huge saleries and bonuses because they have the power to do so.
Do you really believe we live in a meritocracy?
He can answer for himself but I don't think he said we lived in a meritocracy, he just said that the wages are set in order to pay for the people who can be hired to do the job. How they got to that position (the private education, the subsidised Uni places and the unpaid work experience which only the rich can afford to undertake) is neither here nor there to the employer - they're not interested in social mobility, they're just interested in making money.
And it's that making money interest that undermines your silly claim that 60% of the population could do it with a little training. Obviously if 90% of the population had had the same education and opportunities (and attitude) of the average investment banker they could be because bankers aren't born different from anyone else. But if Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank, Goldman Sachs etc could hire 1000 temps from Manpower on a tenner an hour and give them a little bit of training to do the same job as the guys that are making 100 quid an hour, then obviously they would do it tomorrow!
So, you don’t actually know what they do that is so complicated and difficult, you just believe that is the case. As for making money, why did they need so much of our money to bail them out if they were making so much?
Your belief in "the special ones" seems nothing more than new religion.
he last thing turkey murder needs is tutoring in manipulating genitalia. his posting on here leads me to suspect that he's already olympic class.
Gold medalist.
I am the Amy Williams of the torturing world...
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So, you don’t actually know what they do that is so complicated and difficult, you just believe that is the case. As for making money, why did they need so much of our money to bail them out if they were making so much?
Your belief in "the special ones" seems nothing more than new religion.
I think at this point you're either willfully misinterpreting what I wrote because you realise your earlier claims are nonsense or just a bit thick. I haven't said once that what they did was special, always [i]successful[/i] at making money or in any way socially constructive.
What you'd need to know as a banker depends on what market you'd work in but you might, taking some of the words/phrases thrown up on this thread as an example, be expected to understand the theory and practice of remuneration committees of publicly listed companies, what being publicly traded meant and how it impacts operations, the difference between investment and retail banks, the difference between employees' interests and shareholders' interests, whether and how fiduciary interests can clash with public interests, and whether that matters. And you'd be expected to apply that knowledge to large transactions, demanding internal/external clients and you'd also be expected to work some life-killing long hours. Some of those things are fairly complex and - unsurprisingly - are part of what gets studied on the average university economics/business/law/finance course (along with Countdown and Neighbours). You'd also be be expected to be reasonably numerate, articulate and be capable of a degree of abstract thought, and know the difference between a normative and a positive statement. And unfortunately that's not the sort of thing that - as you suggest - the majority of the population can just pick up with "a little training". It is, actually, quite complicated and not that straightforward. Again, and this seems to have blown by you, none of that necessarily makes it [i]good[/i] or that it makes bankers nice, sympathetic, interesting, deserving or anything else. They're not salt miners or hospice nurses and if they don't like it, they can take their marketable skills and **** off.
Your perception of banking as being a sinecure for the upper classes and the preserve of pink-tied Old Etonian Tim-Nice-But-Dim buffoons who get the job because Bunty from the Drones Club recommended them is 20 or possibly 30 years out of date. It's very competitive, internally (between banks) and externally (vs law, accountancy, consulting, whatever).
However - none of that makes them "worth" 20 times as much as a nurse or whatever. Its all about having the power to grab the money
you lost me at "fiduciary".
You do feel strongly about this then?
It was only a matter of time before TeeJ's dictatorship turned into a squabbling mess...
I'm rubbing my hands in preparation for the coup. I suspect Talcumpowderer will jump right into bed with me, seeing as we're a perfect size match for 69ing 😯
none of that makes them "worth" 20 times as much as a nurse or whatever
I agree entirely...and note that it's interesting we find it hard to talk about people's "value" without using the terms of the market.
Louie Spence and a load of UKIP et al as his gimps.
Maybe Essex as Gulag.
trailmonkey - Member
*heads to hills to organise Peoples Popular Liberation Army against this red fascist junta*
Oh, that's just not fair!
While I was in town getting my beret sized up somebody else jumped in and organised a revolution.
Well, I [b]am[/b] the Popular People's Army of Liberation - OI trailmonkey, SPLITTER!
beret ? pah !! you sound like you'd fit right in with Chairman Tandem and his lap dog Turkey Murder.
Ditch the foppery and join us.
tm, I'm in with the Popular Front
good work dd. no berets. i'm figuring on a pretty relaxed regime. half day weds and weekends off.