[Closed] and you thought the rants here were petty

Sometimes you have to check the logo at the top of the page just to check you're not reading the Daily Mash

"Mayonnaise is a tyrant of a condiment, and very arrogant,"

It says how much he's got in compensation but fails to mention how many times he's been told to **** off!

And we can only guess at the amount of waiting an kitchen staffs goz (or worse) he's ingested over the years

I bet he’s a delight to go out for dinner with.

I don’t mean delight, do I? No, I mean weapons grade bellend.

i also note it doesn’t say if he asks the staff if his food comes with mayo and/or asks for it not to come with it...

thinking about it, I know someone similar, she essentially always finds something, no matter how small or trivial, and complains, normally getting another of the thing free at a later date. This ranges from meals to expensive spa days and beyond.

Absolute Arsehole. The Words 'Without Mayo' would stop him being a pain in the arse to serving staff the world over. Thankfully the words 'without gob' are usually ignored.

Mayonaise?!?!  Pah! Try living over here - Australians bloody hide beetroot in everything.

I'm no Captain Flashheart but even I don't think £3000 over years is "a mint". And if the pizza was inedibly hot what is the benefit of getting it free?

I see he is in PR and has a blog. Nice work, and they say the BBC doesn't advertise. I bet you won't share the link to save a starving puppy.

Salad Cream is 'Mayo by proxy', apparently.

The man is clearly deranged.

Don't start me on tomatoes.

Even a sandwich labelled as ham and cheese will still come with bloody tomato in it.

Bell-end being a bell-end.

If he's so adverse to mayo/salad-cream, why does he not just ask if there is any on the meal BEFORE he orders it?

Or is it just that he hopes it is on there so he can complain and get it for free?

The latter I suspect.

At least the BBC have helpfully published his picture and location so staff can be trained to invite him to piss off if he enters their establishment.

PR manager (****)

I'd like to hear him interviewed by Simon Mayo.

The tension would be electric.

I’d like to heaer hime clubbed to death by Simon Mayo.

FTFY

🙂

My Wife would probably call for a Knighthood for him, she has a pathological hatred of white liquids, sauces, gels etc. Mayo  top her lists of the most disgusting things on earth.

You'd think it would be a fairly easy thing to avoid, but it's actually almost impossible to buy any sort of pub / restaurant burger, unless you ask specifically, like the Moaner, even when it's not listed on the menu, it usually comes with it or Supermarket sandwiches, again, unless it specifically says 'No May' a 'Cheese and Ham' sandwich, is actually a 'Cheese, Ham and Mayo' sandwich.

My eating-out life is one of asking, and confirming that it's either Mayo free, or if it could be made without. I also have to complain, on her behalf, if they still bring it with Mayo. Never asked for money off though.

Bell-end being a bell-end.

If he’s so adverse to mayo/salad-cream, why does he not just ask if there is any on the meal BEFORE he orders it?

Or is it just that he hopes it is on there so he can complain and get it for free?

The latter I suspect.

You can ask every time, it will still come with it 5%-10% of the time.

Annoyingly I love the stuff, I'm a Mayo complainer by proxy because my Wife likes to complain, but only if I do it for her.

, she has a pathological hatred of white liquids,

Thats what she tells you, is it? 😉

I’m a Mayo complainer by proxy

You are the salad cream of complainers

Australians bloody hide beetroot

Yes, WTF is with that? Horrible stuff. Any Ockers care to explain?

BTW, I love good mayo. Arrogant or not, it deserves to rule.

, she has a pathological hatred of white liquids,

Eat a lot of pineapple

This was a Daily Hitler story yesterday. It seems that the news outlets go to Reddit first then just steal stories from each other. I barely have time these days to have a nice cuppa and some peace, where do these douchecanoes find the time to commit their entire life to moaning about mayonnaise

douchecanoes

An interesting term, which I haven't heard before. 🙂

For clarity is it Canoes or Volcanoes?

Australians bloody hide beetroot in everything.

They don't exactly hide it though do they - there's so much of the stuff it's on free view to everyone within 100 metres! I recently got a burger in a hotel near Noosa and it was more beetroot, pineapple and avocado than it was minced up dead cow FFS.

she has a pathological hatred of white liquids, sauces, gels etc

so much opportunity for innuendo, so little time.  Must resist....

I don't like mayo, tomatoes or onions.  P-Jay's wife has my sympathies...

I am one of the presumably many who take a stand against 'no mayo' sandwiches in the supermarkets.

So where are the 'with mayo' options for those of us with non defective tastebuds?

I went to university in High Wycombe. The town does strange things to a person.

I bet he would of got a refund for his drysack

An interesting term, which I haven’t heard before.

For clarity is it Canoes or Volcanoes?

Honestly, i saw it on a Reddit thread about a Volvo driver challenging the wrong person after almost mowing someone down on a pedestrian crossing.

And Canoe, as in:

I bet he would of got a refund for his drysack

I want a refund for you inserting 'would of' into a sentence I'd have enjoyed otherwise.

The thing with mayo is that A it's an American thing, and therefore now an English thing, and B unlike butter (I'm thinking of how it came to be put on sandwiches here) there is probably no definition of how you can make it. So you end up waterproofing your bread/brioche with anything you like - such as sump oil mixed with water from blown head gaskets (honestly, I've read this on pistonheads and it's a thing).

By the way, it's mayonnaise, pronounced my-on-aze. Try telling that to the staff at Nandos.

she has a pathological hatred of white liquids, sauces, gels etc. Mayo top her lists of the most disgusting things on earth

Mayonnaise is yellow, what muck have you been eating?

Though I did have some lovely green mayo in my BLT the other day, made with locally foraged ramson. Yum!

Mayonnaise is yellow, what muck have you been eating?

Though I did have some lovely green mayo in my BLT the other day, made with locally foraged ramson. Yum!

You're thinking of Mustard mate.

I'm thinking of the stuff that is made from egg yolk.

Yellowy, yellowy egg yolk.  🙂

The thing with mayo is that A it’s an American thing,

One of the most common places named as the origin of mayonnaise is the town of Mahón in <b>Menorca</b>, Spain, where it was then taken to France after Armand de Vignerot du Plessis's victory over the British at the city's port in 1756.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayonnaise

Mayo is evil.

For clarity is it Canoes or Volcanoes?

The former, I believe.

Have a look at the ingredients list on Bramwells light mayo that can be purchased from Aldi. The standard size jar contains only 1.5% reconstituted pastuerized egg, this is not mayo! I love mayo but that crap i would complain about. Sbob is right that mayo should not be white.

Ah brilliant. PR director at Saatchi (presumably) makes up or elaborates on a story. I wonder how much he won for the bet?

“Mayonnaise is a tyrant of a condiment, and very arrogant,”

To be fair, mayonnaise is one of the more snooty condiments.

I bet he would of got a refund for his drysack

Are we still talking about P-Jays wife and her fear of emptying sacks?

Quite partial to mayo on some things, salad cream, on the other hand, is horrid stuff, up there with gherkins as a foodstuff that should only be found in the lower levels of Hades.

Nothing wrong with complaining about poor service. Or food.

If it's something you've not asked for tho, then you're a dick.

I doubt he makes that money, it's more money saved I'd imagine.