[Closed] And Mother of The Year is...

You got kids DS?

My next door neighbour has Tourettes - you aint heard nothing. 🙁

I don't like it when kids have to hear (and process) things like that. All too common IME. 🙁

Are you sure she wasn't shouting it at you Derek? 🙂

You should hear my neighbours speak scream yell and generally put their kids down at every possible chance. Cretins the lot of them!

It's no good mollycoddling children, they need to learn it's a cruel world.

I would have the little urchins beaten twice daily as well.

It's no good mollycoddling children, they need to learn it's a cruel world.

Reasonable execution, good use of the word mollycoddle, but lacking subtlety. 6/10.

Reasonable execution

Which way is reasonable to execute children ?

It's perfectly reasonable for a mother to hate her child. Move along.

You got kids DS?

I have. I've shouted at them, I've told them off. I have [b][u]never[/u][/b] screamed "I hate you!" at them, nor would I ever do. Horrible, horrible thing to say.

Sounds like the little blighter needs a good fatal beating.... never did me any harm.

Horrible, horrible thing to say.

Very much agree. My neighbour makes similar holistic statements with her shout of choice to her 4 year old being "You're horrid!". First inkling I get of anything much worse happening I'll be round there in a shot, and if they take no notice of that then I'll call the Duty Desk at Social Services.

Ignorant people underestimate the damage they do.

Spent a few days on an outdoor course trying to persuade an 11yo that he wasn't a "horrible horrible little child" and "a waste of space". Now 7 years later he's off to study Maths at St Andrew's. So a partial success.

Young minds are pretty impressionable.

My 4yo has been known to scream "I HATE YOU", at me 🙁

I have. I've shouted at them, I've told them off. I have never screamed "I hate you!" at them, nor would I ever do. Horrible, horrible thing to say.

Yep agree. Usually the sign of someone not coping. Support not condemnation is probably a good idea because I'll guarantee she doesn't mean it.

...because I'll guarantee she doesn't mean it.

You've not met a broad spectrum of mother's have you? Sadly, some mothers have not one ounce of mothering in them.

My 4yo has been known to scream "I HATE YOU", at me

Mortifyingly, my 2yo is going through a phase of shouting 'Don't hurt me, Daddy!' whenever she is picked up/removed from whatever it is she shouldn't have been doing.

I am [b]really[/b] looking forward to the visit from social services that is bound to be winging my way :-/

Horrible, horrible thing to say.
Very much agree. My neighbour makes similar holistic statements with her shout of choice to her 4 year old being "You're horrid!". First inkling I get of anything much worse happening I'll be round there in a shot, and if they take no notice of that then I'll call the Duty Desk at Social Services.
Ignorant people underestimate the damage they do.

MSP that's a very sad comment.

Much worse? Like saying a naughty word? You need to get a grip

And you might benefit from reading some attachment theory. As well as hearing the force and regularity with which the "You're horrid!" is delivered. My grip is fine, thanks.

Agree its a pretty nasty thing to say to a kid but unfortunately I have heard much worse.

'Shut you f***king gob you little s**t' and 'if you don't f***ing shut up I'll smash your face in' and the like can often be heard echoing around the streets near me.

Not nice.

Cheers

Danny B

As a point of order, shouldn't it be "skank ho" ?

Gave the boy a proper telling off for saying that to his older sister, however she is a right **** to him sometimes!

Surely Mother of the Year is the mother of Sewer Baby in China?

Much worse? Like saying a naughty word? You need to get a grip
And you might benefit from reading some attachment theory. As well as hearing the force and regularity with which the "You're horrid!" is delivered. My grip is fine, thanks.

John, my point is the regularity, and the force with which it is said, as I mentioned in my second comment that you quoted. And I didn't go so far as to say it would necessarily lead to abuse, but given the context and chronic nature I'd speculate on how services would consider it with reference to emotional abuse under the Children's Act.

I'm thinking more on the long term effects of a child's self-identity and social development. I think parents should not underestimate the powerful negative messages that they can give young children by angry name calling. There's an absolutely huge literature on the influence of parental attitudes on the emotional development of young children.

The skank next door who has just screamed "I HATE YOU" at her 6 y.o. son.

Sounds like my next door neighbour. Single mum, at least 2 (possibly 3) children, screaming at them is a fairly regular occurrence.

Sure I don't have any kids myself, but hope I can manage it myself without resorting to that kind of behaviour.

Reaxated,
And in the real world, these kids are sometimes fighting just to survive, never mind " preserving their self identity"
There are some sad and lonely young children out there, who are being let down by the authorities in a big way.
On a daily basis they are abused, beaten, not fed, sworn at , etc etc
If I thought about it too much it would probably destroy me!
I've had several experiences where I've taken kids into police care on a protection order, and in every case, regardless of the conditions they have lived in, they all said they didn't want l be separated from their mum.
The mum who had totally disregarded the kids welfare, the mum who was taking heroin and not feeding them.
Dont underestimate the power of a mothers bond.
I was talking to a 15 year old last week just before Mother's Day,she was in a care home because her mother was a heroin addict, and since the age of 5 she had been in an environment where mum was taking heroin, shooting p in front of her daughter, having sex with her dealer, in front of the child.
When she was 8 she saw her father overdose on heroin in the bedroom one night.
Mum soon got a new boyfriend , and he started to abuse the daughter, and then got her involved in group sex with other men and mum.
Mum then introduced daughter to cocaine and cannabis, so she could wipe away the bad memories.
She was taken from mum, and mum went to prison etc etc

I was talking to the girl because we had heard she was having sex with local kebab shop owners, n exchange for cannabis.
She told me she had been shopping that day, and I asked her what she had bought
She went to her room and brought down a huge Mother's Day card, and a candle with the words
"World best mum" on the side
I could have cried my eyes out at that moment, a very sad story,but no unusual in my world 😥

easygirl, it sounds like we work in broadly similar environments. That sounds like a tragic case you've been involved in, but unfortunately it sound pretty familiar too.

I wouldn't underestimate the power of a bond a child has to an abusive mother, but just like an adult who stays in domestically violent relationships, it doesn't mean it is the right thing for the individual long term of course. And when the abused party is a child the State has a responsibility to act, as unlike the adult experiencing DV they aren't legally judged to be competent to make the decision.

I don't think losing the plot and calling a child a name on a very rare occasion constitutes emotional abuse, especially when it is in the context of an otherwise loving and supportive parenting relationship. So, I'm not marching down to the Local Authority because of what I've heard from next door. But, if it is sustained, gets worse, or the otherwise sunny little girl concerned seems to be suffering more and more then I would do. Also, I'm not so naive to think that some really horrible abuse isn't happening less than a mile from where I'm sitting typing this.

Anyway, as the OP seemed to be suggesting originally, it's not nice to scream horrible things at young children; just because it is not deemed physical or sexual abuse, or neglect, it doesn't mean it hasn't got the potential to do some damage.

There are few things that I get exercised about enough to respond on an internet forum, I guess this is one.....

Me too!