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Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
The ballerina rose gracefully on her pointes and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree.
McBride fell 12 storeys, hitting the pavement like a bag filled with vegetable soup.
I'm guessing you didn't go to grammar school.
🙂 You guessed wrong; extracts not from my essays........
A false promise of metaphors is a punch in the face to grammar fans.
Whatever. Frank, they are funny. 😀
Brillaint it.
Liking the last one. The thread reminds me of a published one:
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Not a metaphor but an anagram.
A lad in my year really did not get on with his history teacher - a chap with ginger hair and matching beard.
Anyway, he eventually decided to to hit back at this slightly pompous bloke and cited the author Gerard Basting (1936). The teacher neither checked nor picked up on it, but everyone else got to find out about it.
In a neat closing of the circle, the lad in question now teaches history at our old school!
[quote=martinhutch ]A false promise of metaphors is a punch in the face to grammar fans.
It was a metaphorical promise of metaphors.
His vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan on medium.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap; a steel trap that had been left out for so long it had rusted shut.
The opposite of pretty, her face looked like it was set on fire and put-out with a pitch-fork.
His vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
There's a certain genius to this one.
If you know the author you'll know if it's an 'F' or an 'A*'
Did you only just get that circular, Frank? That's been going round for a decade or more, and as far as I know most of them are apocryphal.
@pyro; had the memo about 15 years ago. Apocryphal or not, I like them.
Any you would like to add? 😆
Hard to beat the [url= http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/dont-make-fun-of-renowned-dan-brown/ ]Dan Brown review.[/url]
He particularly hated it when they said his imagery was nonsensical. It made his insect eyes flash like a rocket.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The thread reminds me of a published one:
DNA always had a way with words.
I've occasionally checked my son's homework and chuckled at things like this.
He's quite the story writer, like Agatha Christie before she was dead.
Didn't think to publicly humiliate him 😉 Will next time!
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Even as a kid, that line always seemed to jar a bit, take me out of the book.
I think it's because it ends negatively, with don't.
This new thesaurus is terrible, not only that, its terrible.
Many of these metaphors and analogies are, like, similes.
Geordies speak mainly in uncompleted metaphors, like.
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
deliberately jarring
(Hitchhikers guide was the first thing I heard on a little crystal set radio I'd made, tuned in to hear the grateful dead theme tune. Maximum geek mode which puberty unfortunately did for, as well as causing a whole bunch of bother in other areas. The radio prog predated the books of course which I'd always regarded as a bit throw away. I was amazed when I realised that Douglas Adams had become regarded as some sort of cultural figure.)
Anyway, simile, effective imagery or just a brilliant line (not from a school essay)?
“It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”
Not Grateful Dead, The Eagles. You, you, you...
Ah, this reminds me of one of my favourite lamest lyrics.
Courtesy of the mighty Toto and their soft rock anthem 'Africa':
[i]"Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti"[/i]
So a mountain rises like, er, another mountain. Good work lads, strong imagery.
Oo, oo, are we on to lame simile lyrics?
My offering- "she's about as easy as a nuclear war".
[i]"Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti"[/i]So a mountain rises like, er, another mountain. Good work lads, strong imagery.
There's also the massive poetic license in that it's 300+km from Kilimanjaro to the edge of the Serengeti. You'd need good eyesight and a good place to stand to see Kili rising over the Serengeti...
@pyro; had the memo about 15 years ago. Apocryphal or not, I like them.
Any you would like to add?
Only the classic Frank Drebin quotes:
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes"
"Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel things out."
"I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible."
Not Grateful Dead, The Eagles. You, you, you...I think the word you're looking for may be "idiot"? Thought that for years but no idea why. For some reason I now have an image of a desert hotel as the paranoid world of a heavy cocaine habit. Please don't tell me I'm wrong about that too...
"she's about as easy as a nuclear war".
And I'm as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a... dancer
Geordies speak mainly in uncompleted metaphors, like.
Agreed, two of the best I have heard are Geordie / Mackem created and describe the same thing.
Chucking a chip in a bin.
And
Throwing a sausage up an alley.
Chucking a chip in a bin.And
Throwing a sausage up an alley.
The local version is 'like throwing a boatle (bottle) up Glesga ( Glasgow) Street '
Ooh if we're doing lame lyrics I'm in!
Stripes on a tiger don't wash away, ManoWars made of steel not clay.
Geordies speak mainly in uncompleted metaphors, like.
I'm definitely stealing that.
Chucking a chip in a bin. / Throwing a sausage up an alley.
There was a similar one used in WWE wrestling back in the day. "Even a 747 looks small when you're flying it into the Grand Canyon"