I don't usually post this kind of stuff but came across this article and found it a good read. Just thought some other folk around my age (48) might get something out of it too.
I’m in my fifties, and have had various midlife ‘transitions’ from about thirty to my late forties, none of which resulted in anything hugely bad (apart from the time I decided to try learning how to do massive drops!)
I’ve now entered the ‘really can’t be arsed’ season, and it’s a lot more relaxing 🙂
So I couldn’t be bothered to read the whole thing, but I do think the final paragraph rings true...!
I think my midlife transition would be over by the time I finished reading that...
Yes I had to find time over a couple of days to read it! Last few paragraphs summarise the message well I thought though.
"it’s easy to forget the basic truth that life is inherently hard" kind of undermined the article's value for me.
The secret to happiness in Middle Age is to lower your expectations.
The corollary of that wisdom gem is that in your fifties you don’t care what others think of you. Liberating stuff.
I'm increasingly seeing my middle aged friends ossify in their outlook. I reckon an openness to experiencing new culture and take on physical challenges (within your changing abilities) is the key to ageing happily. Don't stop and think about it too much, it's not worse, just different.
Some of it was a bit generalized; I feel a bit like I did the introspection earlier in my life, and now (38-43 and +) I'm investigating my physical capabilities and trying to gain physical skills in preparation for my two boys (currently both under 3). I remember feeling a strong disconnect from my body at one point in early adulthood. Worth the read for the positive outlook which I quite often struggle to see. The people I work with are exclusively in their 20's and 30's and their attitudes can be really abbrassive at times and frequently get wound up by it.
It's about wearing shorts.
I love wearing shorts.
I stopped wearing shorts from being 30 to being 54 because 'grown ups' didn't wear shorts.
I'm 54 now, balding, chubby, bespectacled and i bought some shorts in May and have worn them pretty much every day until now and realised that I can do so and no one cares.
There is a TED talk on YouTube called something like 'The Art of not giving a ****' and it's well worth a look...
Great TED talk there from Sarah.
I get the "is this really it!" feeling from time to time particularly when work is too much and I am stressed out. A gratitude list helps. Write down or mentally list the good things in your life and try and focus on them.
It’s about wearing shorts.
I love wearing shorts.
I stopped wearing shorts from being 30 to being 54 because ‘grown ups’ didn’t wear shorts.
OMG. This should be taken to heart on every "I'm feeling old" thread. Just go and buy shorts. Wear them every day. See how much of the year you can get away with shorts. There's nothing makes me feel old(61 today) quite as much as wearing long trousers. Thankfully I rediscovered this 11 years ago.
found it a good read.
OK, what about that article intrigued you, made you sit up and pay attention to it? I ask as I found it pop-psychology at best and meaningless jargon at worst.
Anything that asks "Have you achieved your life goals" is that shallow and banal kind of cod-philosophy that business/life motivational speakers try to get you to spend the £59.99 book that they just published.
@nickc I suppose it was personal circumstances.
Like sirromj I work almost exclusively with 20 and thirty somethings. I definitely find I look at a lot of things differently and react in a different way. This has prompted me to reflect a bit on ageing.
What caught my eye about that article was the framework it looked at ageing through. It wasn't a rubric nor did it pretend to be a heavyweight academic analysis.
I agree with you on the "life goals" thing. A bit schmatlzy to my eye. However, it didn't have that abraisive almost condemnatory tone a lot of such articles have. I found it a bit gentler I suppose.
Can't say any of that resonated with me at all, other than the bit about still thinking I'm 20 (48 biologically), but the rest of it didn't make much sense.
NB I still wear shorts though, so maybe that's why...
Anything that asks “Have you achieved your life goals” is that shallow and banal kind of cod-philosophy that business/life motivational speakers try to get you to spend the £59.99 book that they just published.
Agreed. I never had any life goals and still don't, although I did want to be a fireman when I was 6; still not achieved that.
It resonated with me, I didn’t set out life goals or anything but have probably achieved everything materially I could have hoped for and have lived a pretty interesting life so far, yet I’m bang on the age range in the article and I’m definitely reassessing and investing in the sides of my life I neglected so far which is triggered from being in a funk
Like most young men I thought chasing money was important, I now realise its your tribe that’s important and have made many mistakes
Thanks for sharing
Shakespear did it better:
"Shakespeare's Seven Ages of Man.
By Shakespeare.
This charming epitome of human life affords, in its brief space,
almost every variety of expression. Running the gamut from the
faint moan of infancy to the resonant base of manhood-again
declining to the low, weak cadence of senility and feebleness:
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy with his satchel,
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school: And then, the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eye-brow: Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth: And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances,
And so he plays his part: The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon;
With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side;
His youthful hose well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again to childish treble pipes
And whistles in his sound: Last scene all.
That ends the strange eventful history,
The second childishness, and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."
I like that as reading over breakfast.
I think if you have time to read that over breakfast then you’ve already won... 😉
I couldn't bring myself to read all of it - maybe my 'something' isn't a big enough number yet?
