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Email comes in commencing with 'Please could you'. - No problem.
Email comes in 'Could you please' - Not liking.
Its the same 3 words, essentially conveying the same thing, so am I just feeling over-sensitive today ?
Yes.
Could you please get a grip on yourself
you ok hun ?
Yes.
Snowflake do some work.
I'd say there was a slight difference. That said, as with all words, it's what the person writing them intended rather than your interpretation that is important.
"Could you please..." sounds like your Mum about to tell you off for the state of your bedroom.
You are. If it had said WILL then you should action, “could” is just asking if you have the ability.
Having known you for thirty years, I can hardly believe I'm saying this as I did not think it was possible, but yes, you are being over sensitive.
Do you need a hug?
Email is perhaps the single worst method humans have devised to "Communicate" with each other.
I though the telephone was bad, but email manages to remove all nuance, all the non verbal stuff, add to that that most work email is task based and/or transaction, and it's no wonder that people can either wilfully or otherwise misinterpret what's being asked or said via it.
I've a manager who adds "Please" to the end of all his requests, it's meant as polite, but it often comes across as condescending and patronising especially at the end of a long day, and it takes (still) a bunch of will power not to tell him to stuff off.
I've pulled myself together and shall now be doing some work. - Just not for the person who started their email with 'could you please'.
Email is perhaps the single worst method humans have devised to “Communicate” with each other.
Other than actually talking face to face or on the phone I can’t see how it’s any different to any other form of remote contact, apart from being far better in that it’s instant and you can send documents/pictures/videos to illustrate your point or collaborate across the world seamlessly with loads of other people.
But yeah, it’s shit. Worse than everything 🤔
Email is perhaps the single worst method humans have devised to “Communicate” with each other.
You used this forum?
I like email. You have a record of what was said, you can communicate to many at time, you can respond/action in your own time. ON the other hand I hate direct phone calls as they interrupt what I am doing and the caller seems to feel they are at the top of the queue.
You need to get out more
You need to get out. More.
More than that. Keep going.
Should have used would not could. I see your point about the order of words (the first is politer and emphasises the please whereas the second reads more like an afterthought/grump) BUT at least you got a please.
Please is a word too regularly missed out of all forms of communication.
Email is perhaps the single worst method humans have devised to “Communicate” with each other
Not quite, text messages take that mantle.
The issue with email and sms/whatsapp/Facebook/Twitter/here etc is that, obviously, they're all written forms of communication but when people use them they tend to 'write' like they 'speak'. The problem with that is that all non-verbal stuff that comes with spoken communication, as mentioned above, is lost, so context and meaning are often unclear.
Written communication needs much more thought, time and, honestly, skill to be effective, and people, generally, do not apply enough of each.
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Email is perhaps the single worst method humans have devised to “Communicate” with each other.
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Other than actually talking face to face or on the phone I can’t see how it’s any different to any other form of remote contact,
Especially when talking F2F whilst eating a sausage sandwich.
Or trying to explain, in English, programme plans and initiatives to someone whose first language is Greek. Challenging is one word I’d use...
Simple question: Is what the author is asking you to do part of your job, and are they entitled to require you to do it?
if so, get on with it and think yourself lucky you don't work in an organisation where your obligations are simply communicated to you as orders.
That said, as with all words, it’s what the person writing them intended rather than your interpretation that is important.
Fascist scum
Can you please kindly at your earliest convenience build a bridge and get over it please. Thanks.
My wife often asks me if I'd 'mind' doing something. What she really means is I 'have' to do it which annoys me as of course I 'mind' taking 30 minutes of work time to sort something out for her.
I agree with the OP. Its completely unacceptable. It should be would and not could...unless they're enquiring as to your ability to do something...but even then it doesn't make sense so it must be a request for you to do something so should be would. I hope you sent them a snottergram back.
I can’t see how it’s any different to any other form of remote contact
Work email is worse because of the often transactional/ task nature of the messages. For instance, on the forum, it's understood that it's a bit of light relief, there's an element of interest and commonality between the people that use it, it's not "work". Emails have become more and more something that people have to manage at work, often causing stress, an emergency for you, for instance may not be for the recipient, so it can escalate really fast in a way that doesn't happen with other written or spoken forms
I find 'I'd be most grateful if....' a useful phrase as it makes it a win-win.
Don't worry - my previous places company policy was that we all had to sound super nice in emails. Except for the QPs, who could send you emails in capitals and with lots of exclamation marks. After simply replying to one of these in a short direct "please see document so and so, and John Doe is better placed to answer this than me, I have CC'd him in" kind of fashion, I got pulled up for not showing him due courtesy in said email. Mr Gammon boomer had a hissy fit and had thrown his toys out the pram (likely because his contract was not being renewed), maybe he felt like he lost face because I wasn't the main man to deal with what he was asking for?
So I called them all children and quit. ****s.
There is a simple solution to all of that, keep the emails dead formal and technical. People don't have time to give thought to dealing with silly bollocks because some people read too deeply into hidden meaning behind emails, when they are responding to hundreds of emails a day.
I asked my five year old if she would like to tidy her room. She gave me a long stare, and said "Daddy, is that one of those rhetorical questions?".
I think they do mean quite different things.
Could you please... Has an air of impatience and expectation, whereas Please could you... Sounds more like a request.
Please could you pass the salt?
Could you please pass the salt?
Hmm, I think the first one seems nicer
It's funny, the first one I don't notice, the second one in my head I think of any number of teachers I've had over the years with the COULDyou PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASE and it instantly gets my back up. Even could you? without the please sounds better. Then again I'd prolly send back the snarky "I could but I'm not sure I would" grammar email
To me foreign ears and understanding ...
Please could you ... this sound like pretending to be polite but actually it is an order.
Could you please ... To me this sounds polite.
No.
You could however be oversensitive or overly sensitive.
Hope that helps.
I asked my five year old if she would like to tidy her room. She gave me a long stare, and said “Daddy, is that one of those rhetorical questions?”.
🤣That young lady will go far, I’m sure!
Looking forward to seeing this happen 🙂
None of those are as bad as “I suggest...”. Even if the email isn’t directed at me, the person who sent it can **** right off. Patronising passive aggressiveness that I go out of my way to oppose even if I agree with what they’re asking!
Look on the bright side, at least it wasn't 'can I get?'
😡
Look on the bright side, at least it wasn’t ‘can I get?
If somebody says that to me I usually interupt them after can I get and say "fries with that???" That phrase belongs in mcdonalds and other places that serve crap food and drink!
If somebody says that to me I usually interupt them after can I get and say “fries with that???” That phrase belongs in America
Ftfy
I blame Rod Stewart
