[Closed] Am I being an ungrateful sod? Centreparcs content

The surprise is that her parents are coming as well.

Crankboy - I think £450 is for 3 nights of fun

I'm probably going over old ground here but...

MTFU, it's quality time with your wife and new kid. You'll have fun if you let yourself.

I've been I think 4 times.
CenterParcs is super easy and hassle free even when you have a little un.
There are reasonable trails round the corner so take a bike.
Waterslides are fun.
MILFs on waterslides are funner.
Take a bottle or two of good stuff for the evenings.
Take the little one to the swings. Hear the giggles.
I like the Hucks restaurant because Burgers.

I'll probably get flamed for this but new mums aren't known for logical thinking and fore thought, she has probably booked it with the best intentions and is probably so knackered she can't see straight.

Your wife has got it very wrong, you need to have a chat. Flog the holiday on Classifieds, you take the money and do what you want to do.

So somehow I've ended up with 2 non holiday holidays in succession.

Hmm, I'm no psychologist but this is the internet so here goes...

Whilst I have sympathy for your situation, if the idea of a weekend with your wife and new(ish) born child at CentreParcs and 2 weeks in Denmark with the in-laws is that horrific, you really do need to have some open, honest and frank conversations with your wife. It sounds like you have many years of unhappiness and resentment building up otherwise.

</melodrama>

PS I'm happy to say I'm not speaking from experience.

I think you're being ungrateful.

I didn't like the idea of centre parcs. Helen booked us in when the boy was 4 months old for a 3 day break. We went and we enjoyed. Baby liked the pool. The restaurants are catered for families. The walks are pushchair friendly.

Took me a while but I'm now realise life isn't about just me now. It's about the family. Kid is 15 months now and we are going again in July. For a week. With in-laws. Sounds horrific but this time I can take my bike and hit the trails.

You never know. You might enjoy it.

I don't think the OP is being ungrateful if it's something they genuinely didn't want. I would have probably done the same, and actually have done so...albeit on a birthday present.*

However, sometimes honesty is not the best policy, and for the greater good you got to suck things up. Just be sure to get her tickets to something you really want to go to for her birthday 😈

*I feel bad about it still, but damn, it was a really awful belt I am never going to use.

[quote=dragon ]Centre Parcs is fine, I can't understand how you will be so miserable there as at most basic it is simply a cabin in the woods with access to a swimming pool.

This - hence why I'm still struggling to understand the hatred. I agree with those who say it's too expensive, but it appears that the very concept upsets some people, including for instance the OP, on which the whole justification for him being upset seems to be based.

Oh and we've stayed in numerous Travel Lodges as a family - sure they might be located for reps, but reps also go near places where there is holiday type stuff. IME they've always been clean and with nice fresh linen. I also gave the equivalent prices for the nearest TL to CP, £55 a night, which even after you've paid for a swimming pool is still less than half the price (unless it's Waterworld, which is somewhere we visited when staying in a TL, but even including our meal out the day was less than £150). I suppose I can envisage reasons why a separate room from the kids might be preferable for other people, but then those don't really apply to us 😕

Took me a while but I'm now realise life isn't about just me now. It's about the family.

BUT! Make sure you carve out a bit of time for yourself be that during your normal week or on holiday.

It occurs to me that the OP should be asking the wife if she thinks he is being an ungrateful sod. Even if the OP got a consensus on here, is it really relevant?

OP, bear in mind there *could* be good creche facilities at Centre Parcs 😉

dragon » Centre Parcs is fine, I can't understand how you will be so miserable there as at most basic it is simply a [b]massively overpriced[/b] cabin in the woods with access to a swimming pool.

IMO

I might be miffed at getting a holiday I wouldn't have chosen, but I'd be more annoyed at what [u]we[/u] could have done with the money instead.

But she is probably exhausted with the little one and desperate for any break, anywhere, at any price.

But she is probably exhausted with the little one and desperate for any break, anywhere, at any price.

Sure. But there's a vast difference between "sorry honey, I know it's your 40th coming up but I really need a break and I love Center Parcs," and "I've bought myself a weekend away, bollocks to your birthday and get used to it" is there not?

Granted we've only got a snippet of the story here, but it sounds more like the latter from what's been posted.

Don't get your hopes up for Father's Day either. For mother's day dad's will come in abd spend at least £10 on chocs then add a scarf or a piece of jewellery.
Mums will come in and spend about £5 on chocs and those will all be the ones she likes.

CentreParcs is ace, you love it.
in the pool you instantly know the name of peoples kids as
a) one (or both) parents is bellowing it out across the pool
b) one (or both) parents has the names tattooed somewhere on their flabby person.

suck it up, live as you know it ended 4 months ago.

Only read the first few posts but I'm with the OP

If my partner booked my idea of hell on earth for a couple of days for my birthday I'd be very unhappy.

All those spouting about family time? Balls!

Birthdays are for kids though, aren't they? A nearly 40 year old man upset about not getting the celebrations he wants? They may let you take your balloon dog on the bouncy castle if you smile, so chin up little dude.

You are not being unreasonable.

Wife's birthday = she does what she wants
Children's birthday = they get to do what they enjoy
Your birthday = you get to do what you enjoy

As a parent yes, doing things that are reasonably child-friendly is important. You haven't said you don't want to do that. Your wife knows you don't like it (CentreParcs). She obviously does and perhaps sees parenthood as a way to do it more....? Seems a bit selfish of your wife to be honest. A few months old baby is no excuse for ignoring your preference and favouring her own as someone earlier in the thread suggested either.

Kids nearly grown up now, but we discussed what holidays we wanted with each other and the family. I would never ever have booked a weekend I knew the OH wouldn't like and vice versa.

Either the OP has communicated his views rather poorly, or his OH has screwed up badly.

Only the OP knows which it is...
If the former, go with an open mind
If the latter, he should dig heels in now and cancel, providing he can come up with a better alternative.

A lot of women become seduced by the idea of the perfect family. My wife seems to have this vision of me happily pushing a trolley full of flowers around a garden centre while we spend hours choosing garden ornaments.
No doubt yours has this image of you in nicely tailored slacks with your jumper tied around your shoulders pushing a pram while pointing happily at someone on minimum wage dressed up as a furry animal.
Fight the power,brother.

Would this be an opportune moment to mention that my wife bought me a CX bike for my 40th?

Would it be appropriate so share I got a canoe for my 40th birthday, and a canoe trip?

I spent my 40th working a 14 hour shift, outside in pissing Scottish rain in February and living in a crappy hotel.

Still preferable to Centre Parks....

Hired a PA and had a rave on a remote beach for mine 🙂

No, you're not being ungrateful as you've already been and told her you didn't like it.
Sounds like, for YOUR birthday, she's bought HERSELF a present.

Had the OP realised that Center Parcs might be better with athan a hotel. Afterall in a cabin you have a lounge to relax in and a kitchen whe you can prep bottles, food etc. You aren't likely to get that in a normal hotel room. Also will the hotel have kid friendly restaurant opening times and be happy if it screams the place down? Center Parcs have that all covered.

I've got an alps/Pyrenees pass for mine! 😀

Skin t though so will probably end up in wales:/

Would this be an opportune moment to mention that my wife bought me a CX bike for my 40th?

Would this be an opportune moment to mention that your wife brought me to Centreparcs for her 40th?

mattbee - Member

Birthdays are for kids though, aren't they? A nearly 40 year old man upset about not getting the celebrations he wants? They may let you take your balloon dog on the bouncy castle if you smile, so chin up little dude.

It's pretty common practice to celebrate birthdays all the way through life. Grandparents even get presents, cakes with candles and all that. Maybe not so many goody bags and bouncy castles later in life though.

In other words, maybe its just your friends and family who don't celebrate your birthday. 😉

Accelerated Freefall skydiving course in Spain for mine!

Would this be an opportune moment to mention that your wife brought me to Centreparcs for her 40th?

BUT I GOT A NEW BIKE!

Went all Mumsnet and asked Mrs Squirrel. She agrees you're not at all being unreasonable, pretty much said everything that has been said already.

Just think it's a bit childish. Yeah, get a card and a present or two, but the whole 'gong away for my birthday' thing, I (and luckily for me I suppose my wife too) just don't really get. Maybe I didn't get invited to enough parties as a kid, or something but I think it's just a bit 'meh' making a big deal out of birthdays once you're an adult.
Strange thing is loads of people say they don't do Christmas but say the same about birthdays and it's like I've fed their trail dog chocolate or something...

I'm going to Aviemore for my 40th. It's like centreparcs but without the fences. 🙂

(You are being ungrateful too. Suck it up, let them be disappointed or make the most of it. It may well turn out to be awesome. You don't know until you try)

you are about to turn 40 and you have a 4 month old kid.

You've already lived your life way more than most.

Now sup it up old boy

😉

Reminds me of the American guy who bought his wife a ride on lawnmower for their wedding anniversary. The following year she bought him a pair of diamond earrings from Tiffany & Co.

Remember Center Parcs when your other half's 40th comes around.

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Well the OP is clearly:

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Well, I've skim read most of the responses since the OP and the thing that sprung to mind whilst reading the OP and subsequent skimming was....

Emotional intelligence. As in, where is it? And what hope does the future hold for humankind? 😯

I also give this marriage no more than 2 more years.

The rights and wrongs of who did what are quite frankly irrelevant. What is relevant is [b]how[/b] the OP has reacted. You sound like a grumpy 3 year old and chances are, your wife has realised she has 2 children to look after, rather than just the one, 4 month old - who possibly has just a little less emotional intelligence than her father...

Alternatively, this is all massively tongue in cheek, in which case, as you were.

Are you sure it's all as it seems? Is there a surprise party? Friends family gathering involved. With a young Un maybe the missus wanted to celebrate with you but is too frazzled to go with anything but a relatively easy option.

Emotional intelligence. As in, where is it? And what hope does the future hold for humankind?

I also give this marriage no more than 2 more years.

I'm not sure that making idle speculations about people's marriages breaking up is a great display of emotional intelligence TBH.

Under normal circumstances i'd have some sympathy with you, but i'm sorry to say that in the context that your wife has just recently given birth then maybe your proper 40th birthday bash can wait a year. Maybe your wife did book up CP partly for convenience and ease on her part but it's a brave man who would accuse her of that. CP is a great place to take a young kid, far better than just a normal hotel with a 4 month old in tow, and I wouldn't blame her if she's thinking about the convenience thing and filling the time during the day with stuff to do with the little one all available with the ultimate convenience.

So yes, it's only a birthday, you have one every year and you can have a proper bash to mark your 40th next year to your own liking. This year is all about the kiddy and the mum. It's not as if she's dragging you along to somewhere unpleasant. CP is a jolly nice place to spend a few days or a week (despite the haters), not sure how a hotel somewhere out in the sticks would be any better in terms of convenience, facilities, activities and things to do on your doorstep. 4 Month olds don't appreciate the picturesque view or the attractive rugged coast line, or the rolling hills or tall mountains. CP is not forced fun as some have said - believe it or not you choose what you want to do when you want to do it, IF you want to do it.

So I say suck it up this year, earn some brownie points and you have a year to plan something properly special for next year. It is done, if you go into it with a crappy attitude determined not to enjoy it, you won't and you'll P** your wife off in the process. And I know from experience that a p'd off post natal wife is a force to be reckoned with.

Ask your close friends/family if they're around that weekend , if not, there may be a surprise....

I also got a bike for my 40th.....just saying. 😉

Deleted. Can't be arsed to argue.

wobbliscott +1,

new babies aren't easy on anyone, but probably hardest on your wife. My latest edition has been on a couple of cottage holidays since being born in May and our usual pre Christmas family bash at Longleet CP. There is something great about parking the car on the Friday and not going near it until Monday. One restaurant at CP had a complete range of complimentry baby food and everything you cold possibly need. You just walk everywhere and it is buggy friendly with a full range of comedy body art to laugh at when you swim.

I'd have to get used to the idea as that is what holidays look like from now on now we are a family.

Bah, I guess you'll have to go now though.
Edit: it might be good, I don't know though we (me, wife and kids) have never been

Can't be arsed reading the whole thread so apologies if this had already bren mentioned. I'd be more concerned that my other half thinks centre parks is what I want for my 40th. Tbh I blame you for not booking your own family holiday. I've already told my Mrs for my 40th I'm booking a chalet in Morzine for 2 weeks in summer and the bikes/kids will be taken.
But seen as its too late for that, tell your Mrs thanks for booking somewhere with such good mtbing in the area and spend a couple of hours every other day on the bike. I actually think you'll enjoy it-kids may be young but they love new/different environments and they'll be knackered and sleep while you [s]go out on the bike[/s] spend some time with the other half.

A point that seems to be missed is that his wife knew he hated cp as he'd been before. What she actually knew was that he hated a spa day, which is a bit different.

earn some brownie points

/s****s

A lot of women become seduced by the idea of the perfect family. My wife seems to have this vision of me happily pushing a trolley full of flowers around a garden centre while we spend hours choosing garden ornaments.

Garden centres. 😡

Send me to Center Parcs anytime.

I've already told my Mrs for my 40th I'm booking a chalet in Morzine for 2 weeks in summer and the bikes/kids will be taken.

Wayhey, great minds 😆

FWIW, my wife took me to Krakow for my 40th so I could visit Auschwitz (a long-held wish).

Waterslides are fun.
MILFs on waterslides are funner.

I really need to go to Center Parcs again...

My wife bought me a new BMX and a FoD uplift day for my 40th. Not to be used at the same time mind

In terms of being ungrateful, everyone has pretty much summed up all the possible responses. Currently I can't decide which side of the fence I'd go, so I'm sitting on it instead.

A point that seems to be missed is that his wife knew he hated cp as he'd been before. What she actually knew was that he hated a spa day, which is a bit different.

but i expect the OP and others would happily book a nice spa hotel weekend for the other half's 40th and while it’s not their ideal way to spend a weekend you get a happy partner and relaxing weekend.
is it too much to expect a similar compromise for his birthday in return?

Unfortunately women in our society aren't brought up to buy decent presents.

That said, obviously she's done it with good intentions and you should go along and see if you can enjoy yourself (you will, family will be there, and you are allowed in and out!).

Don't forget to book a nice weekend away somewhere more suitable for your needs for her birthday surprise though, if this hasn't been suggested several times already.

Sounds like Mrs cheers_drive has had advice from others (in the context of her being a new mother and wanting family friendly) or it's a surprise party.

The former is understandable, but the latter is unforgivable.

Anyway, time for the OP and his wife to resolve this like adults.

Unfortunately women in our society aren't brought up to buy decent presents.

Wow. I'm amazed you're able to post this on the internet seeing as you appear to live in 1872

philjunior see my post two above yours. Plus quite a few others on the last page as well

Some people have read far too much in to my OP. I talked to my wife yesterday and I understand her reasoning, even if CP wouldn't be my first choice. We will be going as a family and will have a relaxing weekend.
So what should I get my wife for her birthday in April...

Just a card & blame me.

So what should I get my wife for her birthday in April...

get the wife a trip to centre parcs.. i think she'll love it ( just putting it out there !) 🙂

Although a new titanium frame might be better

I'm glad my Wife is into biking as much as me! 🙂

She'd never make me go anywhere I didn't want to.

Just realised the last decent birthday or Christmas present I got off the wife was before we had kids. Eldest now 12......

So what should I get my wife for her birthday in April...

A new bike, clearly.