Allowances and chores around the house

£0 for my lad. But he wants for nothing.

If he's meeting mates I'll give him money for lunch etc.

Chores, lol. Yeah that'd be nice

No idea, but the first thing I'd do with "chores" is rename them. They sound like a chore.

Our 12 year old gets a fiver a week...he does some volunteer stuff every week. Will help out around the house when asked but not anything fixed

Too late IMO - this should be bought in when they are a lot younger.

At their age after having it easy they'll just say sod-ya! 🙂

We never paid our daughter for chores, but she never had pocket money either. We were of the opinion that we bought her into this world and that's on us. We paid for her sports and activities, but as soon as she was able she got a job as a waitress and the feeling of indepence she got from earning money was miles ahead of any money we ever gave her.

Only rules we really had were keep you room clean and tidy up after yourself. We'd fetch her from her bedroom to move a mug from lounge to dishwasher.

She was 20 last week and has been living away from home as a live-in groom for the last 18 months. She never asks for a penny and now discusses house-plant care with my wife which feels so grown up.

Both my kids are at university and college age now so we don't give them an allowance any more as they have part time jobs and seem to have more disposable income than us anyway, they are still expected to help out around the house though for board and lodgings (in the case of the eldest it applies when she is back from uni), the chores are fairly simple, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping and vacuuming and washing up after dinner.
When we were paying them I seem to recall it was around £5 a week, with extras for cleaning cars or weeding the garden.

No idea, but the first thing I’d do with “chores” is rename them. They sound like a chore.

Chores that you have to do and get paid for = work?

If you want to give them money, then just give them money. Doing it in payment for jobs around the house is a hill I personally wouldn't want to die on. I dunno what your kids are like, but chasing mine to do the thing that I could do faster and better in exchange for cash created an extra chore for me to do which I didn't really need. If they wanted to help, and sometimes they did, then that's great. But honestly my rules were. No crockery left in rooms overnight, and if you want it laundered, put it in the laundry bin. For everything else I paid a cleaner.

Let your kids be kids, my dad made me hoover the house, I hated it, and resented him for making me do it. Your kids will be adults soon enough, they don't really need the practice.

Edit: Neither of my kids (both grown up) live in squalor, and I don't regret not making them do stuff around the house. Eventually that shit doesn't matter anyway.

Just to be clear, the chores are not linked with weekly allowance, they are independent of each other.

My kids never did a lot and never got a lot from us. Only rule in our house was we pay for stuff whilst they’re in education. They leave education its 200 a month rent from day 1.

Ultimately the rent they paid has been given back as house deposits etc but it made them appreciate there are always bills to pay.

We always got pocket money - 65 pence springs to mind. We also were expected to do stuff like tidy our rooms, lay the table, fill the dishwasher etc. I vaguely recall some form of rota as to whose turn it was to do what....

If a quick google has returned factual answers, I didn't realise that child slave labour is alive and well, apparently there is no minimum wage for under 16s in the UK. 😮

Ooh, I can contribute. Our system is ace (designed by my other half).

We have a variety of chores written on coloured lollipop sticks in a pot. Every afternoon, between 9 and 12 chores are issued, (three kids, 11, 11, 12) and they pick between them which they are doing. Some are single value chores, some double. Chores include load dishwasher, lay table, fetch wood in, wipe down the bathroom sink, take out recycling, hoover stairs and landing, feed the pets, clear and wipe table… etc. you get the idea. Once the chore has been completed, the kid pops the stick in a pot, and so long as the chore is completed successfully, an adult will exchange the stick for its value in tokens (we use poker chips). About once a month, these get cashed in at the agreed rate. We have agreed 20p per poker chip, which means each kid earns about £15 quid a month. They get some days off, and some days they are given the option to decide whether or not they want to do any chores; the fact that they often do is a good sign that the system is motivating them. They understand that they are contributing to the family, and the earnings recognise their effort.

I wholeheartedly recommend a structured approach like this, although the earlier in the kids lives it’s brought in, the easier it will be, I expect.

Good luck!

Similar - variety of chore's written out, our kids mark the chart when a chore / positive voluntary help is offered, and marks can be removed for poor behaviour.

At the end of the month they are added up at 50p per tick and pocket money is issued, with 50% going to savings account and 50% there's to spend.

We do have odd jobs which attract a premium e.g. Junior gets a fiver for cleaning my car for example.

Paid chores would never have worked with my kids, it wasn't a battle I was prepared to fight.
As teenagers they both did paid work at the stables where they ride horses and volunteer with the RDA.
But I've made sure they've learnt to cook, clean, operate the washing machine and do basic diy.
Now they're 18 and 20 they are very independent young women and basically self sufficient.

Can you imagine the hassle of "Have you put out the bins?" "In a minnnitt!" "Please put out the bins!" ...etc
Much easier to just put out the bins 😀

Each to their own though eh 🙂

Much easier to just put out the bins

as a manager of (mostly) young (mostly) fairly intelligent and independently spirited people, I’m not quite sure whether parenthood has informed my work or work has informed my parenting. Either way, putting the bins out yourself may be easier once, but you’ve made a rod for your own back there… there’s ways and means of motivating kids and professionals alike.

Have you put out the bins?”

It's much easier when it's not a question...try saying "put the bins out"

Get them to do the jobs you hate. Cleaning the skirting boards, vacuuming the stairs, emptying the bathroom bins, cleaning the kitchen cupboard doors and kickers, putting away laundry. 😂

try saying “put the bins out”

Try quoting the whole line 🙄

No link between chores and cash in my house. Chores aren't called chores, they're somewhat HebdenBridgely called 'Collective Acts'. There are some base level personal responsibility things too, the 'Collective Acts' are separate, and are the things that contribute to the running of the whole house. Ideally, I'd just have each of the kids be responsible for something and leave it to them to keep on top of it, but the logistics of living between two parents means they're not always there on bin day etc so that doesn't work. Instead I just tell them we're all doing half an hour of CA before bed, or before we watch TV, or whatever, and they pick from the list what they're going to do. Plus sometimes I'll get them to do something specific, like cook tea or empty the dishwasher while I'm taking one to a club or something.

Collective Acts list: clean bathroom, hoovering, empty/load dishwasher, wash pans/non dishwasher stuff, cook tea, hang up washing, put washing on, put all the shoes on the shoe rack, mop kitchen/hall/bathroom floor, empty bins and put recycling out.

Personal stuff (this is base level expectation, they have to do this stuff before there's any going out/screen time etc): put own plates etc in dishwasher, dirty clothes in laundry basket, put clean clothes away, change bed sheets, make bed, clear bedroom floor of crap ready for hoovering.

My kids are 12 and 14, the 14 year old gets £3.50 a week, which is just enough to have a hot chocolate in a cafe with friends once a week, or make it a drink and cake once a fortnight. I don't get to do more than that so it seems fair! 12 year old doesn't do as much socialising yet so doesn't have a regular amount. Both get things bought from them from time to time when they need things like essential clothes, so they're not going without but they're not just mindlessly buying things either - I don't want 'shopping' to be an activity! Christmas and birthday money is saved for bigger treats/fashion wants etc. 14 year old wants a job!

I would lose my mind if they didn't do this stuff to help round the house! It's just not possible to be at work and do everything for them and take them to all the various activities in different locations. They have to do their part round the house and I think it's good for them. Also gives them invaluable independence for occasions when I'm ill and can't just do everything for them.

Chores aren’t called chores, they’re somewhat HebdenBridgely called ‘Collective Acts’.

I like that. It’s the same philosophy behind our chores, and our poker chip scheme just formalises it and adds a bit of healthy competition between the kids. The chores are all equivalent to your CAs, they are also expected to do the personal responsibility activities.

I appreciate that some parents don’t want the hassle and just do it all themselves, it definitely would be. But bigger picture, it’s a good habit to get them into and the idea of working together for a common good can’t be a bad one. We are raising good kids who aren’t afraid of a bit of housework and don’t see it as beneath them, which is a worrying trend I see amongst some of the younger generation.

Too late IMO – this should be bought in when they are a lot younger.

I fear this may be right.

We got it wrong. I wasn't part of the conversation sadly, but MrsMC and the in laws came to an agreement that they would give the kids pocket money so we didn't have to fund it, but it went direct to the kids, we had no control, and we lost the chance to have a cash for jobs thing.

That said, both kids had two jobs at 14. Now they are 16 and 19, both rubbish round the house, but seemingly capable of independent living at uni.

Try quoting the whole line

OK

Can you imagine the hassle of “Have you put out the bins?” “In a minnnitt!” “Please put out the bins!” …etc
Much easier to just put out the bins

Like I said just say "put the bins out"

I pay the kids to wash the car but household stuff (recycling, dishwasher, tidying) isn't linked to money.

dunno what your kids are like, but chasing mine to do the thing that I could do faster and better in exchange for cash created an extra chore for me to do which I didn’t really need. If they wanted to help, and sometimes they did, then that’s great. But honestly my rules were. No crockery left in rooms overnight, and if you want it laundered, put it in the laundry bin. For everything else I paid a cleaner.

I was going to say "Sadly, this is pretty close to where we are "

But then I read the following and decided to remove the word "sadly" 🙂

Our system is ace (designed by my other half)... a variety of chores written on coloured lollipop sticks .... between 9 and 12 chores are issued,....Some are single value chores, some double. .....Once the chore has been completed, the kid pops the stick in a pot, and so long as the chore is completed successfully, an adult will exchange the stick for its value in tokens (we use poker chips).

Chores aren’t called chores, they’re somewhat HebdenBridgely called ‘Collective Acts’

Our kids are lazy shites TBH. They tidy their rooms under duress. Tidy the kitchen each evening, take out the bins, sweep the kitchen and that's pretty much it. The bigun went through a 3 year phase of cooking 5 meals a week, but that is sadly over. We should probably get them to do more.

They get £50 a month pocket money, but barely need to spend any of it so are perpetually loaded. Any biking, skiing boarding, climbing, exercising stuff gets bought für them so they just spend their money on shit like expensive trainers.

Not much uptake from our teenager on "chores" - but doing daily tasks like loading/unloading the dishwasher together gives small amounts of quality chit chat time we'd otherwise not get.

But then I read the following and decided to remove the word “sadly” 🙂

Ouch! That stung, lol. It’s not that bad, honestly. The kids actually enjoy doing the chores, and a bit of healthy competition never hurt anyone. It’s a good system.

I have a system based on behaviour more than chores. I sensed a drop in respect for themselves, each other and people in general and it was annoying me.
I also wanted to bring in pocket money, and so the 2 combine. Good, decent human behaviour is rewarded with money, bad behaviour means that money never manifests until the good behaviour begins again. It has helped somewhat and requires a strict approach but I'm ok with that.
Also involves keeping rooms tidy and the occasional job if I ask them to do something.

Ouch! That stung, lol. It’s not that bad, honestly. The kids actually enjoy doing the chores, and a bit of healthy competition never hurt anyone. It’s a good system.

I realised as I was typing that our arrangement is a bit very much mince TBH and we could have done better.
But in typical emotional retard style I directed my diss on someone else. Soz.
Despite, or perhaps as you say because of, the complexity of your system; it's an improvement on ours 🙂

Best wishes 🙂

My dad was scary...you did what you were told.