Alexa, cancel every...
 

  You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more

[Closed] Alexa, cancel every stupid effing command you've been given!

22 Posts
20 Users
0 Reactions
133 Views
Posts: 11884
Full Member
Topic starter
 

My missis has go Alexa telling jokes, doing the weather forecast, playing crap music and all sorts. While I work out a way to subtlety murder the robotic POS, how do I at least shut the Amazonian cow bag up?


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 6:29 am
 ji
Posts: 1415
Free Member
 

"Alexa? How can I subtly murder my robotic POS wife, or at least shut her up"?

"according to the site 'murder.com....' 🙂


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 6:44 am
Posts: 241
Free Member
 

Alexa, Code Zero Zero Zero Destruct Zero


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 6:47 am
Posts: 4643
Full Member
 

Microwave for 5 seconds. Gives the chips the equivalent of an emp. No external evidence.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:04 am
Posts: 784
Free Member
 

Alexa, open the pod bay doors...


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:07 am
Posts: 39449
Free Member
 

Looks dirty ... Needs a bath


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:12 am
Posts: 13134
Full Member
 

It’s not really an issue with Alexa now is it. How’s your patio currently- need an extension over the holidays?


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:17 am
Posts: 17
Free Member
 

You could unplug it.... But yeah sounds like it's working fine


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:39 am
 sbob
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

how do I at least shut the Amazonian cow bag up?

Try being better company to the wife. 🙂


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 7:51 am
Posts: 8318
Full Member
 

"Alexa shut up you stupid woman"


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 8:41 am
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Bring an upgraded WiFI in, one about 20yrs old in some skimpy shorts and cropped top.

WiFI 1 will get Alexa to interpret the image, your problems will be over soon enough.

Merry Christmas.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 9:25 am
Posts: 13554
Free Member
 

Simply break it and deny all knowledge


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 9:51 am
Posts: 11884
Full Member
Topic starter
 

Ha, some grand suggestions. If I did what you were suggesting bikebouy, I reckon an annoying robot would be the least of my worries!


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 10:11 am
Posts: 237
Free Member
 

Ha ha,
this makes me laugh so much.

I have often seen this things advertised etc et

I have always thought 'surely that would drive me mad, botox to that. I can get up to switch the light on'.
I prefer not talking if I can help it. Let alone listening.
I am surprised to see so many people wanting one. I thought I was just an old ****.
I get annoyed because the radio in the van reduces the volume automatically every time I switch the engine off.

Appears I am not alone.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 1:14 pm
Posts: 7954
Full Member
 

Ban it on your router.

Not as fun as the other suggestions.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 1:40 pm
Posts: 11884
Full Member
Topic starter
 

Completely grarea. It was a present to me, approximately 3 weeks after we'd had a conversation, the message being they held no interest for me whatsoever so it got relegated to being a voice-activated radio alarm clock. TBH that was fairly useful but now it spouts annoying **** and I can't stop the POS.
Lastest thing is that SWMBO would like voice activated lights, (??!! No ****ing idea why, I can't conceive of a more pointless invention)
I should probably just man up and give it away or something.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 1:49 pm
Posts: 91000
Free Member
 

now it spouts annoying **** and I can’t stop the POS.

Like what?


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 3:38 pm
Posts: 11884
Full Member
Topic starter
 

Molgrips - what I said in the first post. I assume you are a fan?

Nixie, that's a fine suggestion. 😈


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 3:49 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Install the Alexa app on your phone and connect to the Echo device in question. Change the wake from Alexa to something else. You have a fully functioning device that won't answer to Alexa.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 4:44 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Piss on it. Show it who's boss.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 4:46 pm
Posts: 843
Free Member
 

Don't open this if you're offended by swearing! I found it funny.

https://mobile.twitter.com/baldspurs/status/1075525563677319168?s=12


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 4:53 pm
Posts: 6688
Full Member
 

Rename the trigger command... so not “Alexa”.


 
Posted : 20/12/2018 11:49 pm
Posts: 33980
Full Member
 

I think it's great I resent having to adjust the volume on the radio by doing something so annoying as crossing the room & turning a dial.


 
Posted : 21/12/2018 7:22 am

6 DAYS LEFT
We are currently at 95% of our target!