Ah crap my wife die...
 

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Ah crap my wife died, cancer sucks

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With a broken heart I announce the death of my beloved wife Helen
She passed away on November 25th after a short battle with cancer, thankfully she never had any pain.
August 2022 we had what turned out to be our last holiday together in Coniston, Cumbria.
She seemed in perfect health at the time.

Late October she rang me from work “I don’t feel very well”
November 5th she went to the bathroom & didn’t have the strength to stand up.
I called an ambulance, we took her to hospital.
Three weeks later she was gone. 54 years old


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:40 am
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I am so sorry to read this, John. Christmas must have been extremely hard for you. Please tell us if there is anything any of us can do.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:42 am
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Words feel so meaningless, but know strangers send their love.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:43 am
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Thanks SR, it was hard but I spent it with her family, it was good .

Anyone want to ride out of Leeds/Bradford in the next few months , I’d appreciate the company


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:44 am
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And,... things are brought back into perspective.

I'm genuinely sorry for your loss.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:45 am
 mboy
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****... I literally don't know what to say!

I am heartbroken for you...

I feel like a total fraud right now, I've been out of action the last 3 months because of cancer myself, but I'm going back to work tomorrow and all the while complaining how hard everything is because society gave up on me... But I'm still here!

Man I am so, so sorry...

I'm not local to Leeds/Bradford, and can't ride at the moment (my arse is still quite sore after the surgery), but hope to be able to again soon and would anything I could do going forward, let me know...

Cancer is a ****! I may yet be on borrowed time myself, I don't know yet, though obviously I am hopeful that the surgery did what it needed to do and can return to some kind of normality in my own life in time. But I have lost my mum, my Grandad, friends and nearly lost my GF myself to it, so have all too much experience of Cancer before contracting it myself anyway...

PM me if there's anything I can do for you. Please, I genuinely mean that...


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:52 am
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Mboy I truly hope you get a proper response, and please please please make sure you follow up on your treatment

Helen had 5 years on Tamoxifen, then they switched her to Letrozole. I’m half convinced that if she was still on tamoxifen she’d still be with me now.

All I can say, if you’re having/had cancer treatment, make absolutely sure you get proper scans every year


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:57 am
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00.56hrs. Speechless. Horrific. Can't imagine what it would be like to lose my wife. She's everything to me. Absolutely gutted for you.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:57 am
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Well shit.

If you're anywhere vaguely locally, I have coffee, beer and cats.

Mboy also. Hell, anyone. I have a great sofa and a deeply uncomfortable futon.

Bloody hell guys. Dusty in here. My door's always open.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 12:59 am
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Where’s local to Cougar?

I’ve always been crap on MTB hills, but now i have an assistant 😉

And cats are good


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:08 am
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So sorry to hear this, you always come across as one of the good guys on here. Many condolences. I don't know anything else to say.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:15 am
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What a terrible blow to you. I'm very sorry for your loss.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:19 am
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Thanks chaps , I guess there’s nothing else to say, just if you’re ever under cancer suspicion, please please make sure you chase up any investigation possible


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:20 am
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Just to repeat what others have said and I too am on the same journey a year ahead of you.  Please do contact me for support - its a genuine offer.

Welcome to the club you did not want to be a part of.  there are a few of us on here

The one key thing that has worked for me is being open with folk and asking pals for help when needed.   thats the only bit of advice I have


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:29 am
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Thanks TJ, really appreciate it. Working it through with my family and Helen’s family but it really does f***ing hurt


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:33 am
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Tell me about it! 🙂  It was my professional world ( I was a palliative care nurse) and I still was unprepared for what the grief does to you

One thing you will find is that those of us that have been in this sort of situation understand on a visceral level.  2 of my friends have had partners die.  ( years ago)   I have leaned on them a fair bit not least to ask them if what is going on in my head is "normal" for the situation and to help guide me

I had some counselling thru maggies and am booked in for more thru cruse.  Its helped me

Youve got a pm


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 1:39 am
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cougar is somewhere in the forsaken bit of country north of manchester.  I'm in Edinburgh


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 2:00 am
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Sorry to hear of your loss! Do take advantage of any counselling available, such as Cruse, as it can help you through the grieving process. As you say, cancer sucks!


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 2:03 am
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Oh gosh I am so sorry to hear that, tearing up as I write this.
I wish you and the family the best for the future and just take it a day at a time like I’m sure you are.

Heartfelt condolences to you at this time


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 2:10 am
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Oh shit man. I'm in South Wales. Have a spare room and a dog who loves to run with the bike. He's the biggest softest collie you really need to get to know.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 2:16 am
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Thanks chaps , I guess there’s nothing else to say, just if you’re ever under cancer suspicion, please please make sure you chase up any investigation possible

Condolences for your loss, hit me hard to read that it was a few weeks ago. Been watching cancer slowly eat away at my dad the last few years (it's life-limiting rather than life ending, old age is doing the rest) and it's really tough at times. Sometimes I wonder whether a slow decline but having the time to do the whole 'goodbye' thing or going quickly is the kinder of the two scenarios, hearing of other people going through it always reawakens that dilemma in my mind.

Helen had 5 years on Tamoxifen, then they switched her to Letrozole. I’m half convinced that if she was still on tamoxifen she’d still be with me now.

I'd banish that thought, 'what ifs' are never a good thing to dwell on.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 3:24 am
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Sorry to hear about your loss, John. Stay strong.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 4:09 am
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Where’s local to Cougar?

East Lancashire. There's a bunch of us in this corner.

I’d banish that thought, ‘what ifs’ are never a good thing to dwell on.

This. Woulda coulda shoulda, hindsight is always 20/20.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 4:20 am
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Just horrible.
Cannot imagine how hard it is for you.
Sending my thoughts and virtual support, for all the good that does.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 4:37 am
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I'll just echo the comments, sorry for your loss... desperate.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 4:48 am
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I'm so sorry John.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 6:17 am
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Very sorry to hear that 🙁


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 6:27 am
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Such sad news. Really sorry to hear this! Always seems to happen to the best of people too 😞


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:03 am
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Just got up to pouring rain outside , looked at the forecast ditto for next 10 days . Just read this , doesn't matter now .Words aren't enough.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:12 am
 BigM
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I'm really sorry, I don't know what to say.
Stay strong.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:12 am
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I have no words.

Take care fella.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:19 am
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I'm so so sorry for your loss JohnD. Words really are limited in their efficacy, but know that there's a ton of support on here for you. It appears that stw comprises of those who have been through your experience and pain, and those who dread it ever happening. Genuinely upset that you're now in the former, and can offer nothing but virtual hugs and solace. CD


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:27 am
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That's awful to hear. My condolences.

See you on the trail sometime.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:36 am
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That's awful news, so sorry for you and all the family.

If you ever find yourself around Derby or Nottingham, be happy to show you our mince-core lite (OK, gravel) trails.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:49 am
 ton
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bloody hell John....... so so sorry to hear this mate.
condolences from me and my family.

anytime you feel up for a beer or a ride mate, let me know. it has been a while.
keep well mate.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:55 am
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So sorry for your loss, a very close friend of mine past away a couple of weeks before Christmas and even though I'm having to arrange the funeral and deal with all his affairs I cannot imagine what it must be like to loose a partner, someone you expect to be with everyday of you life. Stay safe & look after yourself, glad to hear you've got family to help you through this.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 7:59 am
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So sorry to hear about your loss John. Best wishes are being sent in your direction.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:00 am
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So sorry for your loss, that's heart breaking.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:04 am
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Such sad news as I sure everyone else feels we (on this chat bored) would like to help if we can, don't be afraid to ask.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:06 am
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So sorry to here that. nothing else I can add really.

Panda


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:08 am
 Rona
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I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength for the times ahead. I lost my partner to an accident almost 14 years ago – I have steady ground beneath my feet now, but it took time. Glad you and your wife's family have each other for support.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:09 am
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So, so sorry to read this. Both my wife and I have had a rough time with our health this year, but this really puts things in perspective. I'm a long way from you but if you ever find yourself in the marches, I'm here for a brew, chinwag or trail ride.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:09 am
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Sending thoughts and condolences John. Utterly horrible, feel for you.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:11 am
 Bazz
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My heart felt condolences John.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:12 am
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We have a bed, loads of quite flat bridleways to go at and a spottydog that specialises in cuddles on the sofa. (Dog was commended by the recent homesitter for his ability to distract from the task in hand).

Have a man-hug and my deepest condolences.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:16 am
 nbt
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big manhugs, man


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:21 am
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Profound condolences from us. Words beyond that fail me.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:25 am
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So sorry for your loss.
Cancer really is the ****.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:26 am
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Sorry to hear about your loss. 😥

send virtual man-hugs.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:34 am
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That's terrible.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:35 am
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🙁 -


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:36 am
 PJay
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I'm so sorry for you.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:38 am
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Aw man that's awful. I'm not great at writing anything particularly comforting, but I live in hebden bridge, not too far away, ride about three times a week, day and night both solo and with a couple of other crap riders. I sit about and drink coffee quite a bit a fair bit too. Pm me if you want to meet for a ride out and/or just some company.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:44 am
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My deepest & heartfelt condolences John. My thoughts are with you.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:51 am
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Shite news. Take care of yourself mate.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:55 am
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Sorry for your loss. RIP Helen.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:57 am
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Appalling news. Very sorry to hear of your loss.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 8:58 am
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Ah man, so sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:02 am
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Hi John. Just give me a shout on FB when you're ready for a ride on your new bike. As you know I'm retired so generally free Mon-Fri. Plenty of easy routes in our neck of the woods to choose from even the canal for starters. Take care mate see you soon.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:05 am
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Nothing to add to all the help above but huge condolences. If your ever in sw Scotland your welcome here!


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:12 am
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So sorry for your loss John. Cancer really is a ****! My sister has stage 4 cancer at the moment so this christmas was probably our last with her, really horrible to see what its doing to her family.

Big hugs.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:13 am
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Sorry for your loss that is truly shit.

Do you still live in North Bradford ? There was a Facebook group of local riders based where I think you live, and you do have some great riding on the doorstep to help with the healing process. I don't live around there anymore unfortunately.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:19 am
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No words for this situation, so sorry for your loss.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:30 am
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That’s terrible. My thoughts are with you


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:30 am
 Mark
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Really sorry to hear this John. The Singletrack office is about an hour away from you. Wednesdays we are generally all in the office and feel free to give us a shout if you want to pop by for coffee and a quick tour. Can’t promise anyone will be available to ride but we can certainly pore over our maps and tell you where the good stuff is.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:35 am
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RIP Helen, sorry for your loss, John. 🙁


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:37 am
 Yak
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Awful news. Condolences.
I'm not near you, but it's great to see a decent bunch of stw'ers near you offering a ride/coffee/support. Take them up on this if you are able to.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:38 am
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So sorry to hear this John. My condolences.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:43 am
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John I'm glad you properly posted it up on here not hidden away on the other thread. I've said it on there but PM me anytime and I mean anytime. It will get easier & you will have bad days but after a while the good days will be the norm. You will never stop loving her but as she is not there to love you back slowly the desire to have someone else in your life will return.

All of us who have lost partners on here have had so much support from this rag tag bunch of idiots on here, it still makes me cry when I think of the help I & others have been given.

Most of all keep posting & be kind to yourself, no blame OK.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:43 am
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Jesus that's awful and I can't imagine how tough you're finding it just to get through the days. Words feel quite insufficient tbh; but just keep on trogging on, and (if it helps) keep posting on here - there's clearly a community of people here to share with and who will gladly share coffee/ cake/ a pint with you


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:44 am
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Such awful news.

🙁


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:44 am
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So sorry to hear that.

Just thinking about it brings tears to me eyes.

Ben


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:48 am
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I'm so sorry to hear this, my deepest condolences. If you ever feel the urge to go to Central Beds, give me a shout; I know where all the best mud is.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:52 am
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I am so sorry for your loss.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:52 am
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Beyond awful. Just look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help. If you fancy a ride out into the Dales when the weather improves, drop me a line.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 9:55 am
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Sorry for your loss John. My Mrs has been battling Cancer the past 12 months.
It's frightening just how quickly your world gets turned upside down.
I've been amazed how supportive our friends and family have been, even little things help, so if i can help in any small way please pm me.
I'm in Cumbria so happy to meet up for a ride if you are nearby too.


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 10:01 am
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Thank you all for the kind words, I really appreciate it, knowing what a great bunch you all are.

As FunkyDunc said, I’m north of Bradford, in West Yorkshire and I used to ride a lot more than I do now


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 10:10 am
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So sorry to hear your news fella. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

As Cougar has said, there’s a gang of us over here who’d love you to join us any time you fancy. Just grab your passport and head for the border posts on the M62 for social rides which always end at the pub


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 10:22 am
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Horrible news. I can’t imagine how tough that has been for you and anyone else who has had to go though that. My thoughts are with you


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 10:22 am
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East Lancs isn’t too far from me, I’m in the north western part of West Yorkshire and I have been known to work over there, in Rossendale.

I’ve always been rubbish at going up hills, but now I have a new toy that will help, I’m aiming to get out on it soon. It’s a Trek Rail e-MTB


 
Posted : 03/01/2023 10:28 am
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