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I'm sure someone will know better than I, so I thought I'd ask the question.
I understand that in a public house the publican can refuse entry
or service for whatever reason, guess that's their prerogative.
But what about a private club, its more a working men's style club thing I suppose.
I paid life membership about 12 years ago, only go in once or twice a month these days, to see my folks. Never had a cross word in there or any trouble.
I've had a letter saying after incidents last weekend-as yet undisclosed, I'm not welcome until further notice.
Now something happened, but I'm guessing this has been blown out of all proportion by the other parties and I have been barred. As far as I'm aware neither of the other parties have.
Can they actually do this without asking my version of events, or at least talk to me about what happened from my perspective!
Surely they cant just bar me without some justification?
Do the barring or "disciplinary" procedures work differently as its a private club run by a committee?
I intend to argue this barring, but I thought I'd see if anyone had any ideas on where I actually do stand!
What was the incident?
oooh what happend? 😛
I'd imagine they'd ban you until the next committee meetign and you then get to argue your case before they either ban you forever or not.
Didn't you get a T&C with your life's membership?
That document is your friend right now.
they will have rules if you nreak them they can do what they want
I used to run a pub. Its not a court of law. I didn't ban often, and if you banned anyone, it was to all the local pubs.
I did give the person a chance to behave, or apologize, but if that didn't work, their number was up. simples.
Never had a cross word in there or any trouble
To
something happened, but I'm guessing this has been blown out of all proportion
Eh? Was it sexy sexy?
i always thought "private club" had a very specific meaning
did you wipe on the wrong towel?
The thing is I've not actually been told what has happened!
There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as "a stupid old bitch".
I wasn't there that night, but last weekend I did go in.
I think it was pretty clear why I was there, as one the first person to see me said "********* not in tonight mate!".
I told them I didn't know what he meant!
The club takes a very dim view of bad language and violence. But at no point did I raise my voice, swear or act aggressively. Just asked a few questions on the Friday.
I never had to be dragged out like the young chap the week before. Or told to calm down.
People I've asked weren't aware of my presence that weekend, but all knew of the previous weekends goings on.
Saturday a mother of one his friends had a go at me, ran over and tried to slap me, I stopped and leaned back, she missed! Saying I need to leave him alone. I laughed and said I hadn't seen or spoke to him yet, I wasn't even sure what he looked like.
I walked off.
Tuesday I got the letter.
This is where I'm asking shouldn't I be asked what happened?
As far as I'm aware the lad and mother are still going in, I'm the only one barred, but without an exact reason.
Just looking for clarity before I go in arguing, very little in the handbook. And I'm certainly not accepting "the committees decision is final!"
Not in this situation!
EDIT: I apologise for teasing some of you and using "Private Members Club" in a context that doesn't include hairy naked men in saunas! 😆 😯
Is it coz you is black?
a working men's style club thing
this kind of blue collar silliness would never happen at the Garrick
Sounds like something from Phoenix Nights. Is this how the proletariat masses fill their day?
You sound like a bit of a trouble maker to me...
So banned and you aint even done anything.. Might aswell give him a kicking then. 😆
Sounds like they've banned you to prevent you doing this lad a mischief on their property.
Is that what you intend to do? Is it obvious that this is what you intend to do? Are you known as being a bit of a hardcase?
If yes to any of the above then I can see why they've done it. They should refund your membership fees though, imo.
Are you sure the letter isn't addressed to your mum?
Just wait until they re-instate you.
You'll be able to walk through the door to St Elmo's Fire playing on the jukebox, it'll be ace!
Working Men's club ? Get the union involved then 😉
this kind of blue collar silliness would never happen at the Garrick
Just get the butlers to duke it out, I imagine.
Are there any other clubs you can join - this one sounds a bit pants, if you don't mind me saying.
It's like an episode of Shameless
No Crack Dens around? A change is as good as a rest, and all that
I wouldn't belong to any club that would have you as a member.
AFAIK, it's still licenced premesis and the staff can refuse entry / service then use "reasonable & necessary" force to get you out.
Tough luck, membership or not.
I've worked in pubs / clubs for years as a doorman. If I wanted someone barred, I'd bar them. It wouldn't matter what a piece of paper said
FASCIST!!!!
Pretty much phoenix nights and Brian Potters barred me!
The intention was to have a word in his shell like, not hurt him.
But like I said it's not been said exactly what or why? I just think that would be the decent thing to do dear boy!
My actions have been calm and collected, brash or aggressive like others.
But I'm receiving the brunt.
If I'm barred I'll do it anyway!!
See what happens.
Why has no-one mentioned 'owning them with Bombers'yet?
It's a bit out of context but it must be my turn by now to proffer it as badly formed and inappropriate advice?
sounds like you and your family aren't popular amongst the members or management..
harsh one.. move house..?
Why don't you write them a letter to the committee outlining the issues you have mentioned above in a calm and reasoned tone. If you do it this way it will be more formal than having a verbal discussion with the steward (which might get out of hand), be more objective and will elicit a formal response from them.
From what you have told us, the lad verbally abused your Mother and then the abusers friends Mother tried to assault you.
Why did the lad square up to your Mother? Have your parents also been barred?
Might be worth letting the club know that in light of recent events you would like them to explain the reasons behind the barring as you are 'considering' reporting the incidents to the Police.
But why was "sought" in "quotes" ? 🙂
21 year olds squaring up to 55yo women, and women flying at you? I think i'd bar myself tbh, sounds like a shithole.
btw speak to yer ma, sounds like she's been winding people up!
you don't have an identical twin brother do you?
I suspect the others especially the woman who tried to slap you have reported you to teh committee - getting their retaliation in first.
also sounds to me like rather more to the story than we have been told
[i]There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as "a stupid old bitch".[/i]
How about giving him a kicking anyway. You're banned now, might as well do the crime.
Banjos
What an incredible post.
You don't realise that drinking alcohol reduces people's inhibitions and makes nasty aggressive people nastier and more aggressive? You actually have [u]membership[/u] of a place where this kind of thing happens every week? How much money do you spend in this place? How much beer or euro-piss do you swallow every day? AND you go drinking with your Mummy?
You must live in North Wales.
Shouldn't you be out riding your bike?
You must live in North Wales.
Ouch!!! 😆
There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as "a stupid old bitch".
You're not telling us the full story.
So if you really do want advice, why don't you?
The intention was to have a word in his shell like, not hurt him.
I'd ban you just for using the phrase 'in his shell like'. Sounds to me like there is more to this than you've told so far. Do you/your mum have 'previous' in there for being a pain? I wouldn't advise giving any one a kicking under any circumstances, you'll only end up meeting someone much nastier further down the line.
And if it is really, truly a phoenix club WTMFF are you doing in there anyway???!!!
have you been in the bar on the Dover-Calais ferry?
it's like a floating version of this story, with more lobster tans and holiday sportswear.
.
we shouldn't be too snobby about it though.
I have been in that bar a few times Brakes *shudders*
WTMFF... that has a nice ring to it..
I'm going to have to find a way to use that next time I text me mum.. 🙂
The first rule of Working mens club is, you do NOT talk about working mens club...
The second rule of working mens club is, you DO NOT talk about working mens club!
Sounds like a barrel full of chavs to me. Far too much cheap gold and man-made-fibres. Or have you inadvertently walked onto the Shameless set?
There was an incident where some 21yr old lad squared up to my 55yr old mother, then referred to her as "a stupid old bitch".
I wasn't there that night, but last weekend I did go in.
I think it was pretty clear why I was there, as one the first person to see me said "********* not in tonight mate!".
[b]I told them I didn't know what he meant![/b]
That was a good strategy trying to throw them off the scent, apparently they were more cleverer. Sounds like a simple case of politics to me, matey boy and his family have more clout than you, mtfu and move on.
Nothing quite says "I'm a wan**r" than...
globalti - MemberWhat an incredible post.
You don't realise that drinking alcohol reduces people's inhibitions and makes nasty aggressive people nastier and more aggressive? You actually have membership of a place where this kind of thing happens every week? How much money do you spend in this place? How much beer or euro-piss do you swallow every day? AND you go drinking with your Mummy?
You must live in North Wales.
Shouldn't you be out riding your bike?
School holidays don't half come quick...
He got a Welsh bite though 😉
globalti - MemberWhat an incredible post.
You don't realise that drinking alcohol reduces people's inhibitions and makes nasty aggressive people nastier and more aggressive? You actually have membership of a place where this kind of thing happens every week? How much money do you spend in this place? How much beer or euro-piss do you swallow every day? AND you go drinking with your Mummy?
You must live in North Wales.
Shouldn't you be out riding your bike?
They say that taking just a few sparse facts and being able to make the required leaps of logic to arrive at the correct conclusion is a mark of the genius.
The next time somebody asks me what disingenuous means I'll refer them to this thread.
No prizes to the next poster who asks "what does...?"
He got a Welsh bite though
Pointing and laughing at him/her is hardly the same as being suckered in my book.
What an incredible post.You don't realise that drinking alcohol reduces people's inhibitions and makes nasty aggressive people nastier and more aggressive? You actually have membership of a place where this kind of thing happens every week? How much money do you spend in this place? How much beer or euro-piss do you swallow every day? AND you go drinking with your Mummy?
You must live in North Wales.
Shouldn't you be out riding your bike?
What an incredible twunt.
Seems to have gone awry there somewhere!
Sorry there is no more to the story!
My mother is no trouble maker, I may have my moments but never in there.
Its a relatively quite place usually. Mainly Bowls teams, he plays on one of them. Don't think he has any other family in there-hence his friends Mother butting in.
Its the only place my parents drink at, so I pop in now and again to see them.
Can't actually do anything as all I know is his first name, don't actually know what he looks like!
FAIL: Not North Wales.
Elmo
We're still very much in the dark here as to what caused the initial problem. For the guys friends Mother to 'run over try to slap you', together with the reaction of the others in the club when you walked in, there MUST be a lot more history to this (and you) than you are letting on.
My mum got banned from IKEA.
What's wrong with North Wales? I think it's fantastic. Beautiful place.
What's wrong with North Wales? I think it's fantastic. Beautiful place.
But you wouldn't like to live there?
It's better than London.
But you wouldn't like to live there?
Relocating there as soon as possible to get away from narrow mindedness... 😛
I used to live there. There aren't enough people there to create a club like that, so the comment is a bit wide of the mark, but it was meant as a joke which didn't quite work as well as it could due to the media. It's certainly better than London and the club probably is in London anyway, isn't that where these sort of things happen? I've seen Eastenders...
FAIL: Not North Wales.
Ah! Bridgend.
(-:
But you wouldn't like to live there?
Grew up there, much nicer than England.
Isn't the club affiliated to some bigger organisation, RAOB or something like that?
For those who haven't read or at least understood what the OP has put down, he has not yet been "Barred" he has been "excluded" until the Commitee meet and discuss.
As someone else who was trying to be helpful said, write to the Head of the Committee and put things down as you see them, ask to be present when the matter is discussed/decided on.
TBH - the only people who really know what happened are those that were there at the times. I have to agree with others that there is more going on than you are letting on or that you are aware of. I sight the comment "I may have my moments but never in there". So do these "moments" happen when you are in a room all alone? Or do you have a "rep" that people in the club are aware of and have expressed concern about? I assume that the other people in the club live in a similar area to you/your parents so to a degree rightly or wrongly they will probably have some opinion of you. It could be totally "wrong" but if enough people express a negative view of your self I suspect you're shafted fella.
AS for getting fees back, again as said read the regulations and you'll probably find that the Committee can decide to ban any member with no obligation to return fees paid.
My gut feeling is that you should really be honest with yourself about this whole affair.