Adrian Chiles clickbait drivel

Funnily enough I’ve just read that too. I usually avoid his nonsense but saw the title. Dick.

I believe binners is a big fan.

I can't even believe I opened this thread!

His articles in the Guardian are pretty poor. I don’t bother to read them anymore.

Yes! His articles are just so bland and meaningless. I literally can't believe he gets paid for it.

"I was on a train last week and saw a man" - just utter drivel.

His articles are published because he is married to a Guardian editor.

For those looking for an explanation as why he is paid 21k a year to write the first half formed thought that enters his head ... He's married to the editor
Twitter

Wow, and I keep thinking to myself ‘I really should pay a sub to the guardian’. I don’t feel guilty for freeloading anymore.

The problem with this thread is that it has now made me want to read whatever he has said, despite the consensus being its crap. FOMO etc.

You are not missing out.

The only useful thing in his Guardian column was this article about baking soda bread

https://www.theguardian.com/food/commentisfree/2020/apr/01/shoppers-hoard-yeast-solution-soda-bread

I'm aware they are a laughing stock because of his column (and the cosy arrangement behind it), but I've successfully managed not to read it so far.

I did see he was upsetting the rights-of-way lot last week with some apparently ill-informed twaddle about footpaths.

We can add that to the pile of articles that do nothing other than 'othering' attitudes towards cyclists, from someone who seems wilfully ignorant of the fact that people like and do things differently to him. No doubt he's just the Grauniad's version of Clarkson, but they should know better.

I like that in the recent Alan Partridge podcast series, Alan mentions multiple times that he is close personal friends with Adrian Chiles (they regularly play squash together), and Grant Shapps ('Shappsy', or 'Michael Green') .

I think of all three as similarly faded characters. The suggestion that someone is a close personal friends Alan Partridge is quite the veiled insult.

I haven't found it difficult to avoid clicking on his articles.

I'll go off and read it now. Tbh I like his texts, I won't glorify them by calling them articles.
They are indeed very short and very basic, but i thought they were all the better for it.

[ had no idea about the spousal connection,]

He wrote an piece last year about the fact that his glasses slip down his nose. Proper journalism that.

"A Toby Jug full of p*ss."

As A.A. Gill once described him....

I believe binners is a big fan.

That this grunting, pig-ignorant, monosyllabic moron ever managed a career in broadcasting, when he can barely string a coherent sentence together, will forever mystify me. The idea that the Guardian would then print his inane drivel yet further adds to my suspicion that he must have a series of photos of senior media figure in compromising positions with a goat!

“A Toby Jug full of p*ss.”

As A.A. Gill once described him….

There was a hashtag a while back where people described Adrian Chiles face

My favourites were 'a freezer bag full of porridge' and 'a sellotaped bawbag'

Wasn't he the subject of a documentary a while ago where we were supposed to feel sorry for him cos he was a drunk or something? I don't mean to be unkind, but he's a great flabby sack of nothing.

£4k isn't bad considering all the metal/wood and motors you get for a cargo bike. Given what's not on my road bike, I think I've been ripped off. Cost £2k - 30 years ago, and significantly more than £4k if I bought it today. There is nothing to it !

Well ive just relented and read it.

It's got to be the most pointless thing ive ever read. I kept scrolling as i felt at least half of it was missing. Like an old man who forgets his point halfway through a story and so quickly ends it in the hope someone else will start talking.

I'm starting to understand Frankie Boyles opinion of him.  I got suckered in earlier and like @robola it justifies my freeloading, I'm not paying for that pish.

Its just such a frustrating non-argument, he's clearly not spoken to anyone who actually owns or rides one, nor done the tiniest teeniest bit of research or even thinking around the topic.

If he thinks £4K for a mode of transport is obscene bordering on some kind of weird class warfare, you wait until he hears about cars!

I’m not going to link to his latest guff in the guardian as he doesn’t deserve the extra traffic.

The trouble is that even if you *don't* link the article people are still going to look it out and read it just so they've got some context for the point you're making.

Which leads me nicely to the point AC is making. It felt to me a though the article ended half way through -- I was assuming it was on the way to some kind of considered opinion, or argument, or, well, anything other than "crikey, bikes are quite expensive", when it abruptly ended.

I have literally no idea whether the mild sticker-shock associated with a cargo bike was the sum total of what he was trying to convey or there was supposed to be more to it. Possibly the final paragraph is supposed to be some kind of insightful commentary on society that the reader will dutifully recognize as their cue to sagely stroke their chin, say "Oooh, ah, yes, social inequalities, something, something" and feel they've had their money's worth from the Grauniad today and no mistake.

IDK. Nice work if you can get it I suppose.

I never wrote a regular column in my career as a journo, mostly because I knew it'd be really stressful trying to come up with a new hot take every week.

I suspect he's just thought "columns about cycling seem to do well, might as well try that".

I was assuming it was on the way to some kind of considered opinion, or argument, or, well, anything other than “crikey, bikes are quite expensive”, when it abruptly ended.

I gather you've never listened to his radio programme then? It's fair to say he's not one of the nations most enquiring and incisive minds. It's like listening to a stream of consciousness, if an item of furniture or a pot plant could talk.

His interviews are absolutely painful to listen to and usually an insult to the intelligence of the interviewee. If the BBC had secured an audience with God and they let Adrian ask one question to the supreme being, faced with the opportunity of finding answers to the great mysteries of life, he would instead ask him/her/they what their favourite biscuit was. Absolutely guaranteed. He's an absolute simpleton

The trouble is that even if you *don’t* link the article people are still going to look it out and read it just so they’ve got some context for the point you’re making.

I know, I know. Sorry to anybody who has thus far lived in ignorance of his output and has now had the misfortune of reading this tripe.

WTF it's just a few paragraphs about some uninformed stuff he's imagined.

The hypocrisy here is amazing. So we're OK to moan at the hideous price of bikes, even though we know the tech that goes into them. But we pile onto the complete layman when he does the same.

And as for the brevity of his spiels.... that's the whole point of them

Didn't know who he was but read it earlier today and was indeed amazed that get got paid actual.money for it.  It serves absolutely no purpose and had zero value. Even DM articles can be well written and designed to elicit a particular response, that article was just poor quality junk.

But we pile onto the complete layman when he does the same.

He isnt a layman though. He is a professional whose job it is to give us an informed opinion of some sort even if we don't agree with it

Sometimes I think I'm lucky not to be married to a Guardian editor. Imagine if every unfiltered thought that entered my head was automatically recorded and published unedited in a national newspaper.

God, this man really is a pot plant, isn't he.

I  can’t even believe I opened this thread!

#metoo

The hypocrisy here is amazing. So we’re OK to moan at the hideous price of bikes, even though we know the tech that goes into them. But we pile onto the complete layman when he does the same.

And as for the brevity of his spiels…. that’s the whole point of them

Holy crapballs, have we uncovered an actual Adrian Chiles fan?!!

So we’re OK to moan at the hideous price of bikes, even though we know the tech that goes into them.

You can buy a Honda XL750 Transalp, for less than a than a Spesh Turbo Levo Pro. The Honda has more travel and ABS.

Not tell me that high end bikes aren't a rip off?

He's basically Chris Moyles, if Chris Moyles had moved to Islington and tried olives

Am I alone in not knowing who he is? Am I the lucky one?

But we pile onto the complete layman when he does the same.

Yes I loved the part where he analysed and discussed the increasing price of a variety of different bikes, and the issues with supply chains and energy costs.

Not tell me that high end bikes aren’t a rip off?

Most "high end" things are a rip off.

Am I alone in not knowing who he is? Am I the lucky one?

nope.  i had no idea he was a 'thing' until i read this thread although I had read the article and dismissed it as guardian junk. i now know to avoidhim in the future though.  the guardian does seem to have quite variable quality these days although the long read is usually great

Back on the ale I assume

the guardian does seem to have quite variable quality these days

I think the problem is the lack of distinction between actual news and magazine content when reading online. The lifestyle stuff is clearly at odds with the editorial direction of the news arm.

You can buy a Honda XL750 Transalp, for less than a than a Spesh Turbo Levo Pro. The Honda has more travel and ABS.

Not tell me that high end bikes aren’t a rip off?

You misunderstand me. Imho high end bikes are indeed a ripoff. That's not my point. My point is that people seem to be getting on chiles' case for stating that fact, when dozens of us on here say exactly that in the comments section of every second bike review.

Holy crapballs, have we uncovered an actual Adrian Chiles fan?!!

Yep, I think so. I despise dumbing down, I despise people dressing up stupidity as something clever. I despise pointless waffle.
Chiles' stuff is very, very basic but doesn't claim to be anything else. It's not dressed up in bullshit or anything else. He doesn't think he's making some sophisticated point. He's just making a simple, some might say banal, observation. And I quite like it.

Though I did feel some of the anger you lot clearly do when I saw it listed under the Grauniad top 10 banner - would be interesting to know why I felt that.

Read it.

Drivel.

He probably thinks you can get a nice bike for £150 and he is completely wrong on every point (apart from the vunerability issue - but cargo bikes at least have the most road presence of any bike). Most people I know with eCargo bikes either don't have a car or have bought one instead of a second car. 4k seems cheap for what you get from them and certainly they are cheaper to run than any other motorised vehicle that can transport stuff and children to school/nursery. They ARE very much an alternative to car use and he should appreciate that there are people willing to pony up for them so that his dog walk is that much less noisy and polluted.

If he wanted to have a go at overpriced bikes there is so much other ammunition out there such as the Trek Madone SLR 9 or most eMtbs They are crazy prices but people don't have to buy them.

£4000 is a ridiculous amount for a bicycle.

I suspect he’s just thought “columns about cycling seem to do well, might as well try that”.

I don't think he's 'thought' anything tbf. He just had to write something, anything, and walked past a shop selling a cargo bike. It could just as easily have been a very expensive bird feeder or a log-burning stove. He seems like a perfect combination of nepotism and celebrity culture.

More amusingly...
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/adrian-chiles-onlyfans-lookalike-sunday-sport-b2302040.html

He only gets space in the Guardian because he's married to the editor.

He’s just making a simple, some might say banal, observation. And I quite like it.

Banal is the best adjective for his work. It's like some kind of experiment. I can only assume he's sending intelligence to the North Koreans using code words.

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2022/05/30/adrian-chiles-funny-column-titles/

I despise dumbing down, I despise people dressing up stupidity as something clever. I despise pointless waffle.

And yet... still your fingers hit the keys... 😆

The hypocrisy here is amazing. So we’re OK to moan at the hideous price of bikes, even though we know the tech that goes into them. But we pile onto the complete layman when he does the same.

And as for the brevity of his spiels…. that’s the whole point of them

I think the hypocrisy here is that the media's current obsession with getting LTN's dismantled.

So the subtext is "LTN's force you into buying one of these £4000 contraptions"

When it should be "H(igh)TN's force you into buying one of these £40,000 contraptions".

You can buy a Honda XL750 Transalp, for less than a than a Spesh Turbo Levo Pro. The Honda has more travel and ABS.

Not tell me that high end bikes aren’t a rip off?

To be fair a better comparison would be the CRF300L/Rally. Which it's fairly universally agreed is rubbish. A £7k bike that needs over a grand in suspension work to make it useful off-road for anyone heavier than a toddler, and then you're just left scratching your head as to where the extra 50kg of weight is hidden compared to a Husky 701. If you took an off the shelf Transalp/CRF300L to a rally race it would be awful. Whereas the Levo Pro has pretty much every trick bit you could possibly buy already installed, you could race it, or even the base model, out the box.

When you actually start drilling into it the prices aren't that different. A mid range motorcycle shock (IFP based damper, rebound adjuster) costs about £500, a fair bit more than a Marzocchi Bomber rear shock (£350). A set of high end forks is £2000, a set of mid range internals is ~£500 (which limits you to cartridge damping), etc etc.

Heck, I just bought a ~£1700 FS bike (for a bit less 2nd hand) and I don't think there's any component on it that could be judged as being simpler or worse quality than it's equivalent on even a proper MX bike in OEM spec (other than lacking an engine).

(other than lacking an engine).

Hardly any difference at all!

And yet… still your fingers hit the keys… 😆

🙂

Made me laugh anyway 😀

Hardly any difference at all!

Indeed, but the Honda also lacks:
Carbon fiber frame
2-way adjustable forks (plus air spring)
Adjustable shock

Basically the difference between a £7k motorbike (an off the shelf CRF300L) and something you could take to a rally and be competitive is probably insurmountable (it's just too heavy even after you've added functional dampers to the suspension). A KTM 690 (or the 390 if they make it) would be closer, but it's ~£9-10k.

The difference between a £1700 Vitus Escarpe CR and something used in the EWS is relatively minor (2lb in weight and an extra dial on the fork/shock).

£1700 for something you could race.

Vs £10k for a Transalp which will at best plod up and down some easy green lanes as long as they're neither muddy not rocky.

Even Honda will sell you a crate engine for <<£8k.

Even if you just restricted it to bikes designed for some sort of track/racing use (without going into track only specials).
Fireblade-RR -£14k
Firebalde-RR-R-SP-TT McGuiness 100th special edition £32k

The £32k bike is probably closest to the £10k mountain bikes (i.e. dripping in Ohlins can carbon bits).

What the bike is made of or what else you could buy for similar money is all irrelevant.

The price of any item is based upon what someone will pay for it.

1100 below the line comments so far. He's won his clickbait badge.

And yet I see plenty of 40 (or more) grand cars which are used primarily for popping to the shops, picking up kids from school etc, and no-one bats an eyelid at this.

Has Adrian actually got you lot discussing his topic now? I thought this was about him being a waste of space!

I’m not going to link to his latest guff in the guardian as he doesn’t deserve the extra traffic.

But thanks for giving the headline thereby making it easy to find. Today I have learnt two things, firstly that Adrian Chiles writes a column for the Guardian, and secondly that he owns a dog.

The first comes as something of a suprise, I had no idea, presumably none of his musings are political despite being categorised as "Opinion" by the Guardian, which might explain it. The second I find easier to believe.

I am aware that my post is in essence pointless but I feel that it is keeping with a totally pointless thread about Adrian Chiles's totally pointless opinion.

I quite like Adrian Chiles. His USP is that his opinions are generally balanced and gentle. A contrast to the rabid and rabble-rousing opinion pieces that seen to be the norm.
If you get to know his style you'll find he's well informed, funny and quite a skilful presenter.

I too had no idea Chiles wrote for the Guardian and I visit their website half a dozen times a day or more.

imo the key to thinking if £4K is a lot of money for a wheelbarrow strapped to the front of a bike is if it replaces a much more expensive car or is in addition.

I am always amazed how triggering Adrian Chiles appears to be on here. He has done some quite sensitive stuff on alcoholism. In any case if anyone actually bought the Guardian you’d know that page 3 of The G2 part features this gentle sort of musing from a varied of columnists including Zoe Williams amongst others. Off the top of my head it has included such things as whether you wash your legs in the shower etc. Quite why people only react to this sort of thing when Chiles does it would possibly keep a psychologist going for a few years.

He has done some quite sensitive stuff on alcoholism.

If only he actually had a bike then this article might have been sensitive too.  We are back to being informed again

In any case if anyone actually bought the Guardian you’d know that page 3 of The G2 part features this gentle sort of musing from a varied of columnists including Zoe Williams amongst others.

Thanks for reminding me one of the reasons why I stopped buying the Guardian many years ago.

Although it has to be said I was always grateful that all the pointless drivel was very conveniently placed together in a easy-to-separate-and-throw-away G2 section.

At least they kept the vaguely interesting stuff in the broadsheet section.

£4000 is a ridiculous amount for a bicycle.

Mine was £5000. But it does have an unreliable motor 😀

Wait till he finds out some bikes are £13,000. He'll totally poo himself.

I quite like Adrian Chiles. His USP is that his opinions are generally balanced and gentle. A contrast to the rabid and rabble-rousing opinion pieces that seen to be the norm

The problem with Chiles is that Five Live only put him on (thankfully) when Naga Munchetty is off and then he’s followed by Nihal Arthanayake

Both of them are intelligent, articulate, insightful and clearly tirelessly research their subject matter to make sure they’re absolutely up to speed and on the ball with whatever subject they’re on, which they then handle with tact and sensitivity

Chiles is none of those things. He is what he is … an ill-informed, barely literate halfwit who’s research appears to be whatever he heard in the pub last week. I can’t believe they continue to (mercifully rarely) put him on air.

It’s frequently embarrassing to listen to, as he’s so totally *ing clueless about the topics he’s meant to be covering you cringe at the outright stupidity and banality of the questions he asked, delivered with all the subtlety of a house brick. You can literally feel the guests eyes rolling as they attempt to explain things to him like they’re talking to a 5 year old.

He’s a complete *ing idiot! Literally!

People moan about Gary Linekers salary, but it’s incredible that the BBC continue to pay this complete plum hundreds of thousands of pounds a year

At least he's got some nice jeans

Don't mind him myself, the documentary he did on drinking I thought was quite brave.

It’s frequently embarrassing to listen to, as he’s so totally *ing clueless about the topics he’s meant to be covering you cringe at the outright stupidity and banality of the questions he asked, delivered with all the subtlety of a house brick. You can literally feel the guests eyes rolling as they attempt to explain things to him like they’re talking to a 5 year old.

He’s a complete *ing idiot! Literally!

It's a shame he doesn't pretend to ride a MTB, I reckon he would enjoy it on here.

He’d fit right in Ernesto, but if he thinks 4 grand is steep for a cargo bike, he’ll have a coronary when he discovers what some carbon fibre boutique exotica costs 😂

As someone already mentioned, he probably thinks bikes are something that cost 300 quid from Halfords

More top end journalism from the brummie chunkster this week

Do you suffer from shop blindness? I’ve struggled to locate coconut milk for years

It is like he has a reminder on his phone that pings 30 minutes before his deadline, and he literally writes about the first inane thought that comes to his head. Staggering that he gets paid for it, even with his wife as the Editor.

Probably, only because his wife is the editor

Probably, only because his wife is the editor

I know for a fact that if my wife was editor and I submitted vacuous crap like that she would tear strips out of me.

She's married to Adrian Chiles. I'd imagine that having pretty low expectations has been a constant theme in her life.

His 'articles' (obviously that word is doing some pretty bloody heavy lifting here) can all be summarised as 'I'm obviously such a complete ****ing moron that I struggle with even the most basic facets of modern life. Heres what has defeated me this week...'

I sometimes yearn for an era where people like him would never have made it to adulthood

It's so well written too "This happens most frequently in supermarkets" "It’s in Boots that I struggle the most" & "Worst of all are garden centres"
Utter genius

Wow, and I keep thinking to myself ‘I really should pay a sub to the guardian’. I don’t feel guilty for freeloading anymore.

Nah - not since they joined in the pile-on on Corbyn.

Probably best he stays away from bikes if he's confused by supermarkets; his head would explode if he ever needed to buy any parts.

It’s so well written too “This happens most frequently in supermarkets” “It’s in Boots that I struggle the most” & “Worst of all are garden centres”
Utter genius

It's like listening to my 6 year old:

'Ugh, Broccoli is the worst!'
'Spinach is my least favourite food!'
'I hate carrots most of all!'

He just struggles most with whatever happens to be right in front of him at that particular moment.

I can imagine the meeting at the Guardian:

We're looking for a new columnist. Any suggestions?

Yes, its my husband, I'll bring him in with me tomorrow

Honestly, every day in the UK media Nathan Barley becomes more like a prophecy...