[Closed] About You.

Make it boring. Be the grey man. It will pay off in the long run.

Or go the other way and claim to have invented Velcro and were once married to Annika Rice or something.

Must be my age but this sort of thing would make me think about changing jobs!

I go to work to work not have nicknames and be known for my favourite food etc.

See how long you can continue to ignore it for, what a load of rubbish hahaha

Nah I think you should go "the dildonator" as your nickname and work from there

Urgh.
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Nickname: 40mpg
Best Film: Top Gun
Favourite Food: Chips
Hobbies: Riding bikes
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I ride bikes -- and work.

Sorted.

Nickname?! wtf

edit your new job isn't police interceptor or such like is it?

Nickname

Nickname as per company questionnaire - Good olf Mike

Truth Nickname - Drunken bum

Fave film

Fave film as per company questionnaire - The life and times of Mother Theresa

Truth fav film - Debbie does Dallas

Fave food

Fave food as per company questionnaire -A mixed veg hotpot from the sustainable market garden company just down the road, with organic beef. With homemade sourdough bread.

Truth Fave food - Kebab after 9 hours in the pub midweek

Hobbies:

Hobbies as per company questionnaire - I enjoy hill walking with friends, currently doing the 'west highland/Pennie way. or currently Munro bagging with friends* *IE A team player 😉

Truth - Hobbies- You go off camping with some mates. Sit around the campfire and consume alcohol until you pass out.

A bit about yourself

A bit about yourself as per company questionnaire - Enjoy meeting friends or conducting a chess match via the internet

Truth - A bit about yourself - On the rare occasions im not in the pub, i spend most of my free time on the internet playing games or watching porn.

Nickname:

Tripod

Best Film:

Highlander II

Favourite Food:

Microwaved fish

Hobbies:

Danger ****s in the break room.

A little bit about yourself you would like to share:

You know where to find me.

Seriously though, who even does this? Having second thoughts yet? I'd personally go with 'ignore' until you can at least gauge how seriously anyone else takes it.

Nickname: The Dude
Best Film: Highlander 2
Favourite Food: Surstromming
Hobbies: Lying

@squirrelking - snap 🙂

Nickname: Geiny
Best Film: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Favourite Food: Skin
Hobbies: Making lamps out of faces.

But yeah, how cringe. Make them wish they'd never asked.

Nickname: Bundy
Best Film:The Knight Stalker
Favourite Food:Liver
Hobbies:People watching
A little bit about yourself you would like to share:I keep myself to myself

That should keep them away.

Nickname: Mordac: Preventer of Information services
Best Film: 2001
Favourite Food: Pizza
Hobbies: destroying hopes and dreams.

Hobbies:People watching

You'll have to be a bit more specific if you don't want to invite conversation, that could be taken to mean you're either an exhibitionist or a voyeur and people might use that as an 'in'.

I had to do something like this at the last-but-one place when they were still trying to pretend they gave a crap about people outside the USA.

If you care about the job, make it corporate and upbeat, it will save hassle in the long run.

You’ll have to be a bit more specific if you don’t want to invite conversation, that could be taken to mean you’re either an exhibitionist or a voyeur and people might use that as an ‘in’.

The nickname and film answers should give you a clue.

LOL @ SK! 😂

As someone who grew up with a nickname that my parents gave me and everybody outside of school knew me as, and at school I inherited 2 or 3 other nicknames too during my time (no, I wasn’t at boarding school! But I did have an impressive quiff like Beavis from Beavis & Butthead for quite a while!), I had quite a shock when I went to uni and everybody not only knew me by my actual name, but nobody there had any nicknames themselves, outside of the obvious sports (drinking) teams at least…

Leaving uni and joining the professional world and people got even more dull!

I wouldn’t worry about it… I think nicknames are a lot more common in other countries and cultures than they are in the UK these days (my upbringing being the exception not the rule). My GF finds it incredibly strange now that at 41 my Dad refers to me by my nickname (that he gave me, when I was days old, before him and my mum could decide on an actual name for me I will add!), and that if he uses my real name I don’t respond as it’s alien him isn’t it and I assume he is talking to or about someone else… 🤷🏻‍♂️

Ha! I'm liking Dyna-Ti's approach (do you know me?)

I would refuse to fill it in.  None of their business and I never use nicknames ( outside of here)

Nickname:Stifler
Best Film:Frat House
Favourite Food:beer
Hobbies:your mom
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I'm a shy Sagittarius ♐

I’d forward it to company security as an identity phishing attempt.

I’m witty like that.

Hobbies = seal clubbing (thanks to Sean Lock)

I hate these.

I’d forward it to company security as an identity phishing attempt.

Entirely reasonable.

Is there a single answer that works for all the questions? I'm sure someone here could think of one.

I never understand why people don’t engage with stuff like this. Ok you don’t have to fill in all your life details but a generic response (I personally would put “none” for nicknames as I like to keep work official) is easy to craft.
I have never gained personal relationships with colleagues but I always try to make the working day a little bit easier by joining in with others as much as I can.
Some people are a bit too enthusiastic about this sort of thing but most people just want to know a little bit more about you - you never know you might meet up with someone who remains a friend.

Nickname: I didn't even give you my real name in the first place
Best Film: You won't have seen it, it's mail order only from eastern Europe
Favourite Food: I only consume that which is of female born
Hobbies: I plead The Fifth
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: Over time, I shall share all with you. And you shall share all with me.

 

Nothing better than forced fun, like others have said I’d have to rethink about staying in the job I’d imagine it’s only going to get worse

Do you use a short version of your first name?

David "Dave" Smith
Robert "Bob" Jones
John "Johnny" Brown?

Nickname might be easy to knock off.

If they tried introducing something like this at work, either the response would force them to have second thoughts, or else there would be a lot of people having quiet words with HR. As a fairly high proportion of our workforce come from Central Europe, I’m not sure it would ever get off the ground, let alone fly!

Those I work closely with would probably include watching porn and getting shitfaced as hobbies for starters.

And the only nickname I’ve ever had nobody ever uses, and in fact nobody now knows, apart from an ex+girlfriend, and it refers to my then interest in cars.

Nickname: Elton
Best Film: Bad Boy Bubby
Favourite Food: Lard on lardons
Hobbies: Day dreaming
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I once assisted the queen by holding up her dress to stop it getting wet in a puddle.

I'd fill that in, no problems.
Only they'd wish I hadn't.

Complete bollox, keep ignoring it.

Just no.
Keep every email requesting you to complete it in a separate folder.
Use this as evidence when you take 12 months off with work-related stress.

I was asked to write something for the company recruitment site on why I joined the business...

I said I cant really... they said why not? I said I came here for as few reasons, mainly the place is a massive ****-tip IT wise and you lot have no clue (so lots to do which is good as I am a Head of IT), the money is just about manageable, and its close enough to ride to work every day. She said she can ask someone else

Nickname: Jizzy McJizzface
Best Film: Rita, Sue and Bob too.
Favourite Food: Monster Munch
Hobbies: Dogging
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: It rubs the lotion on the body.

Nickname: Penfold
Best film: Casablanca
Favourite food: curry - I live in Bradford, it’s the default
Hobbies: music
A little bit you want to share: I was on The Tube once. In the audience.

There, easy really

I think @tomparkin sorted this fairly early on.

Nickname: don't have one
Best Film: don't have one
Favourite Food: don't have one
Hobbies: don't have one
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: looking forward to annual leave

Post some nonsense to check whether anyone is actually checking it.

Nickname: Wolf
Best Film: Fight Club
Favourite Food: Protein shakes
Hobbies: Bare-knuckle boxing
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I don't want to die without any scars

Best not to over think it, just bland it out. Everyone has to do it and its just not worth the effort to creatively avoid it.

We have a similar thing (with out the questionaire aspect) it can be handy. For instance my email has joshua but i never register anyone calling me that.

I quite often use it as a quick reference before talking to someone, for instance the other day I asked someone for advice on collecting fossils near edinburgh so i can take my nephews. That was based on a new starter post, it gave me anopportunity to say high (on teams) with a bit more thought behind it that "welcome to the madhouse".

Also, put a photo up of you aged 25 then leave it up there until you retire.

Go full bull shit I say.

Nickname: The Chas man
Best Film: Transporter 3
Favourite Food: Madras
Hobbies: dogging

I had similar many years ago.

My first reply was

Nickname: n/a
Best Film: n/a
Favourite Food: n/a
Hobbies: n/a
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: n/a

When I was told this was not acceptable I changed it to

Nickname: You have refused to accept my answer so please complete with whatever fiction you care to invent
Best Film: You have refused to accept my answer so please complete with whatever fiction you care to invent
Favourite Food: You have refused to accept my answer so please complete with whatever fiction you care to invent
Hobbies: You have refused to accept my answer so please complete with whatever fiction you care to invent
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: You have refused to accept my answer so please complete with whatever fiction you care to invent

When I was shown the intranet page where this was display it was

Nickname: ...
Best Film: ...
Favourite Food: ...
Hobbies: ...
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: ...

this worked for me

Just put redacted for each response, that should start a few conversations.

This would drive me mad for the Internet but plenty of companies whose sites I review have this sort of bollocks under the About page.

Depending on my mood I would probably ask where in my contract it says I have to provide such nonsense.

Certainly wouldn't be providing a nickname even under duress. That said most places I've worked would know better than to ask me in the first place...

Nickname: I could tell you but then I would have to kill you
Best Film: I could tell you but then I would have to kill you
Favourite Food: I could tell you but then I would have to kill you
Hobbies: Subject to a D Notice
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I could tell you but then I would have to kill you

Nickname: Jizelda
Best Film: La Bête
Favourite Food: Sherry
Hobbies: Funky disco
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: Pangendered male/closet-lesbian seeks cis female/closet-bi for funky disco fun (must like sherry)

World-class accident:

I had similar many years ago.

My first reply was

Nickname: n/a

That's funny because I was thinking your username would be the best answer for nickname 🙂

I suppose that nickname could be useful if you use a different form of address from your given name. Eg, you're Johnathan but prefer John or Jon.

I'd be tempted to put something like "Master" or "Lord" if it's something they're going to actually use. "Have you seen Dave?" "Yeah, he's in office #3 with Lord Smith."

Is there a single answer that works for all the questions? I’m sure someone here could think of one.

Your Mum.

Is there a single answer that works for all the questions? I’m sure someone here could think of one.

Nickname: Dick
Best Film: Dick
Favourite Food:Dick
Hobbies: Dick
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: Dick

put a photo up of you aged 25 then leave it up there

I’ve recently started working for a Swedish company- a lot of the photos for HQ people that come up on Teams follow this- the reality is a bit different when they join the call.

Could always ask how this info fits in with GDPR?

Or say that a combination of these common questions are used for various passwords/ account security questions so you can not divulge the info

That's a good point actually. GDPR perhaps not so much, but it's the sort of thing I'd be looking for as a starting point for social engineering or a password spray attack. If they're intending putting that sort of info in public, that's downright reckless.

Nickname: The tickler
Best Film: cling
Favourite Food: Scrambled Snake
Hobbies: taxidermy
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I once killed a man just to watch him die

Nickname: Randy
Best Film: Terms of Enrampagement
Favourite Food: Eggs Woodhouse
Hobbies: Being awesome
A lttle bit about yourself: I am the world's greatest secret agent.

Best film- choose something nondescript like “lady & the tramp” translate to french/Italian/Spanish and choose the best sounding one. People will think it’s some trendy art house film

I’ve ignored this for 3 weeks but getting chased now.

Hobbies: Being chased

Nickname: Dick
Best Film: Dick
Favourite Food:Dick
Hobbies: Dick
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: Dick

@slackboy
LOL

lol @ Highlander 2. made me laugh and smile, thanks.

If it helps you OP, no one reads those things. The recipients are just as disinterested as you the author.

No one will remember or mock you if you are honest. No one will admire your wit if you go with the sarcastic response. That's the true nature of the modern workplace where these things are requested. Do what you need to do for an easier life.

Nickname: Fred
Best Film: Uncharted
Favourite Food: Chicken
Hobbies: Karate
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: This.

Nickname: Geiny
Best Film: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Favourite Food: Skin
Hobbies: Making lamps out of faces.

This made me chuckle!

Some right pretentious bollocks on here.
Just fill it in with bullshit. It's meaningless.

Ok, I find this a little cringy - as you seem to as well. But I think there is an easy way:

Nickname: Don’t have one or want one - my name suits me.
Best Film: Just choose one everyone knows like Star Wars or ET etc.
Favourite Food: Surely nearly everyone has that! If not just choose one.
Hobbies: Cycling.
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: Related to above - why you love cycling.

Job done!

Or go full comedy!

Nickname: Tripod
Best Film: Kodak Ultrachrome 400
Favourite Food: Placenta
Hobbies: Writing about myself
A little bit about yourself you would like to share: I have an ingrowing toenail and a persistent fungal infection.