[Closed] About to move in with my GF, feeling oddly anxious and nauseous about it. Is that normal?

Normal ? No.... not in my experience, very FAR from normal.

Yes, very normal.

I was the same.

Facing a big change in your life and being anxious about it. Yes perfectly normal unless you're some sort of God.

Nice one! Time to get fat! If you're not already! People always eat well at first when they move in together. Pizza? Yes please. Shall we get a pudding? Oh go on then.

I cannot say if it is normal, but I'm currently asking myself some soul searching questions on a similar vein, as we might be about to change from renting to getting a mortgage.

I've never felt like that - it's always been exciting.

I guess the responses to this thread just shows that there's no "normal" for these things. If that's the way you feel, then you'll not be alone.

feeling oddly anxious and nauseous about it.

Sure you're not pregnant?

Phew..! Good to know at least some of this is normal.

Weirdly. Putting on weight is actually one of my many worries. I have quite a strictly, slightly obsessive controlled food routine that I feel will probably go to the wall when we move in together.. Hmm..

Shall we get a pudding?

Depends if you've been good or bad.

I live with my wife and two kids and I'm still only just about okay about it! Obviously I love living with my family now, but if it hadn't happened I'd have been quite happy living on my own with absolutely no ties, loads more money and an almost seemingly infinite amount of time to ride!

Its change and you should have some concerns

IMHO its not normal to actually be scared [ though some nerves/butterflies] then again its not normal to have got to 39 and never lived with anyone - only you know if this is an "issue" or an ISSUE.

It's a bit step moving in together, so pretty natural to be slightly anxious about it....

Normal. Remember to talk about the nerves in whatever manner keeps you bothered relaxes.

Been living together for 6 years, about to get married. Once we agreed the spare bed was an acceptable place for a solo kip and got separate wardrobes, nothing much in contention.

Signing the joint bank account that my pay goes in... that was a seemingly awful day.

And just wait until she's googling "maternity leave entitlement."

*goes to shed*

Signing the joint bank account that my pay goes in... that was a seemingly awful day.

Yeah Mrs Jay has mentioned that a few times, nope...

Its change and you should have some concerns

IMHO its not normal to actually be scared [ though some nerves/butterflies] then again its not normal to have got to 39 and never lived with anyone - only you know if this is an "issue" or an ISSUE.

Yes it's perfectly normal to get anxious about moving in with a woman, some men are just programmed to go for numbers of women/raping and pillaging.

History has been defined by men who were scared of moving in with a woman, so they conquered.

You might be pregnant. Get that checked out too. 🙂

feeling oddly anxious and nauseous about it.

I felt like this before getting married. Which was a bad move.

Signing the joint bank account that my pay goes in... that was a seemingly awful day.

Arguments?

Strange people with sharing/trust issues.....

Cold feet-itis

I read this as [i]Cold feet tits[/i] and (in a split second) wondered at the strange turn of phrase and possible reality and benefits of such a weird and abnormal growth problem...

I have nothing useful to add aside from I should probably wear my reading glasses a little more often.

then again its not normal to have got to 39 and never lived with anyone

It's not?

Maybe, but I would recommend speaking to her about it rather than a load of strangers

Maybe, but I would recommend speaking to her about it rather than a load of strangers

Wild guess here I'd say he's done that giving he's not asking should they do rather is it normal to be anxious.

Arguments?

Strange people with sharing/trust issues.....

Nope, just appreciate the simplicity. Never occurred to either of us that we should/need to pool all money.

weeksy - Member

Normal ? No.... not in my experience, very FAR from normal.
Posted 1 hour ago # Report-Post
P-Jay - Member

Yes, very normal.

I was the same.

its not normal to have got to 39 and never lived with anyone -

I'm having similar. Mid-thirties if it matters, first time.

Soon (hopefully) to leave my solitary home and move in with my partner and her kids. Simultaneously I'm overjoyed by the idea of us settling into family life, and wary of how much pressure it'll put on the relationship. And that I'll never get a lie-in again. Doesn't help that I've changed jobs to enable moving over there.
Change is scary, and the fear of ruining things by committing prematurely vs the fear of ruining things by stagnating is flustering the pair of us.

We're planning ways that I still retain some of the Me time I'd otherwise lose - joining whatever local cycling club they have/going to night school/even just having long, scheduled walks to get me away from the chaos.
Interesting times....

The issue of failed marriages has reared its head on the forum today. I'm another.

When I started dating her, it didn't feel quite right but we had fun and she was well fit, so I said "sod it - it'll be OK."

When she moved into my house, she instantly trashed it by filling it full of her junk and generally being a massive slob. But we had fun and she was well fit, so I said "sod it - it'll be OK."

When we got married, it was clear that she was a complicated and damaged person who relied on me massively. But we had fun and she was well fit, so I said "sod it - it'll be OK."

When we had kids, she struggled with any of the basics of parenting so I was working full time, paying all the bills, doing all of the domestic duties, trying to be a good dad, and making sure that she didn't do mad neglectful shit (that she did from time to time). And we'd stopped having fun, and didn't fancy each other any more, but I said "sod it - it'll be OK"

Then I woke up one morning and thought "I hate this". We went to counselling. But it was all my fault for "getting at her". I left. And that first night I spent away from that miserable marriage, I felt nothing but relief.

I have the kids as often as she does so I can still make sure they are well looked after and loved.

But, through mortgages and kids, I am tied to her for the rest of my life.

My advice? If you have to say to yourself "sod it - it'll be OK", then it probably won't be OK.

You know how the number of bikes you own has never been an issue?

Soon it will be.

I don't think its simply down to the number of bikes he owns, more the freedom he'll loose 😯

Start as you mean to go on.

Nerves? Yes its a change in lifestyle and since this is your first time naturally you'll be crapping yourself.

Only you'll know if the feeling is for the Good or Bad.

Just a point on the bank account, it's our money, not mine or hers.

If we trust each other with the cash, which is surely the sorest point of any unhappy marriage I know of, then that's one less thing to be arsey about.

Bear in mind, not.yet.married. Boggles my mind right enough that some people don't move in until they get married. Mental, religious reasons less so, but her dads a minister and even he figured it out.

Leave your issues at the (new) door mate.

That would freak me out. Joint account for joint costs (mortgage, bills, house stuff) but personal accounts for pay to go into with an agreed amount put into the joint account via direct debit every month. No arguments that way.

Which means that this

You know how the number of bikes you own has never been an issue?

Soon it will be.

doesn't happen.

You know how the number of bikes you own has never been an issue?

Weirdly. Putting on weight is actually one of my many worries. I have quite a strictly, slightly obsessive controlled food routine that I feel will probably go to the wall when we move in together.. Hmm..

This sounds like the sort of thing that I'd worry about, only to find that it's completely groundless once the thing has actually happened.

There is absolutely no reason why you would have to make any such change, just be prepared to own up to your weirdnesses and allow your partner to do the same 🙂

The girlfriend wants her sister to stay over in a few weeks so I've had to move half of the bikes out of their bedroom and squeeze them under the stairs. I thought the sofa would have been perfectly comfortable

The girlfriend wants her sister to stay over in a few weeks so I've had to move half of the bikes out of their bedroom and squeeze them under the stairs. I thought the sofa would have been perfectly comfortable

There is a solution, there may be painful consequences but you'd get the house to yourself and the bikes - probably be too sore to ride the bikes for a bike though 🙂

Yep to the OP, nerves is normal. Speak to the GF as she's probably nervous as well. No need to make a big deal, share a laugh about it.

Phone battery died - and I missed all these great (and funny) responses!

Thanks STW-massive.. 😀

I'm glad to hear that there are some at least similar noises of understanding here and actually feel slightly better about things as a result. It is a big change (for me). And moving in with someone is probably never really something I've seen as wanting or needing in my life (probably not all that normal, but hey..). But I guess it's probably something I've got to get over and try at this point in my life, or I'll end up some weird and alone obsessive, surrounded by bikes, which is probably not all that healthy, eh.. 😆

In fairness, she is pretty accommodating and understanding to all my oddities, including facing the prospect of moving in together - alongside 11 bikes... 😯

So these sorts of things make me feel it's probably gonna be okay.

It's just things like when got back late to my flat on my own last night after work - and didn't feel like I wanted to talk to anyone, yet neither did I have to. I was able to sit in bed laughing away at the new TG till midnight.

This sort of independent ad hoc me time stuff - that I've got so used to over the years - will never be the same again. Perhaps this change won't be so bad though, I dunno.

Is it too late to back out that plan of yours? Life as you knew it will cease to exist and dont kid yourself that it will ever be minute difference ...if you just want company in the house..id rather get a dog or a cat dude

lol 11 bikes?! is she aware you're bringing your children and all the responsibilities that entails?

no_eyed_deer - Member
Is this normal?

You are not normal if at age 39 you still cannot decide if you are comfortable or not moving in ...