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About to tell our daughter that Father Christmas isn't real. Want her to know in case she has the piss ripped out of her at school.
Now, I reckon there's a fair chance she'll laugh at us and say she's known for years, but the wife thinks she's still a believer and will be shocked.
I'm actually nervous!
Well, has to be better than telling her in Christmas Day.
How old is she op?
How old is she op?
My money is on ‘35’ and she’s the teacher
Noone ever told me he wasn’t real! I still get a present from my folks addressed from Santa, and I’m 47!😂
that said, when I was about 8 I did question why Santa always gave my rich mate better toys than I got. Didn’t think it was very fair!
I think my 9 nearly 10 year old has finally twigged, which is a shame as I guess elf on the shelf as a surveillance tool may lose its punch this year 😀
I'd rather we pretend for another year or two before real world robs one of the last vestiges of childhood innocence...
Surely there should have been a spoiler alert in the thread title? You’ve ruined the magic for some of us!!
My son was ten I think when I broke the news, I thought he already knew as he was pretty switched on but he actually got quite upset which made me feel a complete shit.
Let her find out for herself, she will literally never forgive you!
Dress up as gather Christmas and get 'caught' delivering presents. Cat out of bag. Sorry, we didn't want you to find out this way. No awkward conversation. Job done.
If you don't believe then you don't receive.
We told our kids in yr 6. My daughter looked at me like I was insane, and gave me a look that made it clear she was going along with the whole pretence for my benefit!
She is 11.
She put on a brave face, said someone with older siblings had told her in year 2 it was us but she refused to believe it, then she cried a bit. She does like the collusion in keeping her younger brother in tbe dark though.
On reflection don't tell your kids folks!
If it helps mine is 10 and still talking about Santa. She did ask a few years ago and we gave a non-answer, dunno what she mad if that, she is smart but gullible.
Well, at least she's got the next Joe Cocker Christmas concert to look forward to and soften the blow.
I understand this, had to have a chat with my daughter about Jesus as her school is going biblical for christmas 😂
Took the opportunity to confirm that the tooth fairy is a myth too. She fessed up to knowing that but immediately insisted we still pay her for teeth still to be lost 😃
10yo told me as we walked up the hill from school several years ago "Sophia says it's just your parents". I'm not sure if she believes or not but we're not telling her.
Nearly 13yo definitely doesn't but plays along for bonus presents.
our eldest came in from school and told us one year very proudly that Santa's not real - maybe aged 8-9 I guess.
we said "you're right, but if you tell your little sister, 'Santa' won't give you any presents" - seemed to suit everyone
I played Santa over the phone to my nephew and niece for a few years. I would be primed beforehand by my sister about events Santa needed to know about; friendships, school, achievements and so on.
It was great fun early on but after a few years the pressure to get it right was huge and TBH, I was really relieved when they found out at school.
When all was said and done through I look back at it warmly, especially the night when the ISS passed overhead. 'My' sleigh, obviously.
Don't break the spell.
Wait for your daughter to either ask or tell you.
My eldest wouldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 when he worked it out. We still take the piss out of him for his nursery school report… they said he was a lovely kid, but a bit of an old man 🤣
When our kids were pre schoolers we'd spend Christmas eve with neighbours who had kids the same age and do Christmasy things. I was pretty drunk on egg nog and Baileys when I noticed out of the corner of my eye Santa wandering past the window. Did I just see that? Moments later Santa is in the house handing out presents. The wife hadn't told me she'd asked another neighbour to dress up but for a moment I was a believer too!
On reflection don’t tell your kids folks!
thanks for the heads-up
We told my daughter when she was about 10 or 11, but told her not to tell the smaller kids at school so it doesn't ruin the fun for them.
I'll never forget the look of terror on her face when she was about 5 and I explained that Santa knows if you've been bad because there are elves watching you constantly. She just froze up and blurted out, "Are they watching us now?"
I can’t remember how old I was when I sussed, seven or eight perhaps? I caught one of my folks sneaking past my bedroom with the pressies, thinking I was asleep. It was some time before I admitted that I knew, I didn’t have the heart to tell them and spoil their fun.
I have no memory of suddenly realizing he wasn't real - my kids are 7 and 5, so I'm soon expecting them to start questioning it.
My response will be the same as my parents gave to me: "oh well, if you don't believe in him, then he won't come". My 7 y/o is pretty smart: she'll understand the rules of the game.
Did similar with the tooth fairy the other week: "if she's not real, where do the teeth go? And where does the money come from?". I think she answered that question in her own head and is playing along.
Fwiw, my brother in law figured out Father Christmas and was given the "Don't believe, don’t receive" line by my in laws so his younger sister wouldn't lose the magic.
He refused to play along, as he's a bit of an arse, and was in tears on Christmas morning when there was no stocking at the end of his bed. Luckily they found that Father Christmas had left it in another room by mistake. Tough love.
My dad accidentally blew it with my eldest when he was 6-7, but he happily played along for his sister. I'm genuinely surprised, and slightly pleased, that some kids keep tne dream till secondary school.
Honesty is the best policy. And he is real.
Not in the way that you believed when you were little. There isn't a man in a red suit who lives in the North Pole and who delivers all the presents, that's someone dressing up. But you know the way that you feel at Christmas, being excited for the day, how nice it feels when you're with your family enjoying your Christmas presents and your dinner together, that feeling is Father Christmas. When you're little you can't understand that Father Christmas is all of us so we allow you to think it's one person, now you're old enough to understand we're trusting you with the secret of Father Christmas, the same way our parents did with us and their parents before them.
And it's really important too that you don't spoil it for your little brother until he's old enough to understand who Father Christmas really is.
So anyone that tells me he isn't real, outside now.
I found out while watching Spitting Image (I was way too young to be watching). It was a sketch with Maggie Thatcher.
Our eldest is 7, hopefully a few more years of believing left, not least as we've booked Lapland for next Christmas 😬
Mrs Bloke insists we still leave stockings out for each other. I have to prepare hers in secret, hide it under the bed and gently place it on her feet in the middle of the night when I inevitably get up for a wee.
She still gets properly little girl excited in the morning. I think she secretly still half believes in Santa, it's really sweet. She is 57.
Comfort her with the fact that,unicorns are real.
That's what Ray would do 😆 😉
I know exactly where I was when I found out about the tooth fairy. My elder sister told me. Then I walked up the road and figured out about 100m further on about Santa. I was 10.
So what if your kids find out at school? So what if they get ribbed a little?
Before junior #1 started high school we did lay it on a bit thick about Santa so he'd hopefully have his suspicions confirmed. But we have never, and hopefully will never, have a direct conversation about it with any of our three.
Just before the Christmas Train starts rolling in...... what a monster
Theotherjony... that blooming beautiful man.... love it
I couldn't see my lad get his head flushed down the bog in senior school for still believing in FC !! So on summer hols just before going into his new school I told him.
I set it up so that we were messing about on the paddle board (a pretend James Bond fight with us flying into the water after pretend punches) then I called a timeout and told him I needed to tell him something. His little face dropped for a second and then he styled it out... "Yeah yeah I knew that".... But then he went on to say.... "So ALL those presents I got last year you bought!?!" .... "Yep I had a good year lad. But not sure that will happen again".
I went on to tell him he has to keep the secret for the young ones and why I HAD to tell him. He appreciated that and we carried on our play fight.
Please note any of you thinking about doing this..... For the love of god make sure you've discussed it with your partner.... we had and I still copped it afterwards.
Mrs Bloke insists we still leave stockings out for each other. <br /><br />
I bet s/he does
I don't think I know of anyone who has told their kids that the illusion they've been punting since their birth is actually a massive lie. Kids just figure it out for themselves don't they? Finding christmas presents hidden in cupboards and stuff...
I had a friend whose family trick was to tell the kids that on their tenth birthday they’d be able to see through walls for the whole day. Once the disappointment wore off they would have to keep the secret for the next kid (there were four).
"Father Christmas isn't real. Christmas isn't real and as you get older and as each year passes, that magic you feel as a child melts away slowly, never ever to return. Then before you know it you've hit middle age and all you feel is an overwhelming sense of dread, a dark numb bleak empty feeling of nothingness, and you may even come to despair at all the madness and fakery that a modern Christmas brings"
Merry Christmas my little cherub.
My dad casually told me on a car journey once that Santa, Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy were'nt real.
I was about 6. Never forgave him.
I don’t think I know of anyone who has told their kids that the illusion they’ve been punting since their birth is actually a massive lie.
But it isn't, it's just a different truth now they're old enough to understand it.
I bet s/he does
😮 Magic of Christmas sullied right there. You're a wrong un! 😂
My two still liked playing along with the charade well into their teens. They knew, obviously, but the mince pie for Santa and carrot for the reindeer, even the Santa tracker website was all part of the fun.
What was less fun was having to stay awake until 2am until they fell asleep so I could stick the stockings out.
What kind of arseling would tell their own child he does not exist, some annoying brat in the supermarket fine go ahead but their own?
Father Christmas crept into our bedroom (shared with sister) at the age of 6. This particular Father Christmas was noisy, a little drunk and looked just like my daddy :o)
He propped up a shiny brand new bicycle against the curtains and I was the happiest child there ever could be, so I didn't care that the secret was out.
My two were 'too cool' to believe past about 10-ish I think. I never told them anything, but at the same time, they still put of mince pies and carrots, one time my daughter (aged about 12 I think) told me with a straight face that it was for her mother's benefit not hers.
I did find out that she she thought the line "This little piggy went to market" meant that it was going shopping though...
I had a friend whose family trick was to tell the kids that on their tenth birthday they’d be able to see through walls for the whole day. Once the disappointment wore off they would have to keep the secret for the next kid (there were four).
Bit OT, but when I was 14 or so my Dad told me there was a family secret handed down the men in the family that I'd get to know when I turned 16. Two years wondering what it was, and of course my Mum, Grandma, etc, couldn't confirm or deny the existence of the secret because it was handed down the male line...
Two years.
Thankfully I don't have a son, or the temptation to pull the same wheeze would be overwhelming.
My 7 year old is already questioning the logistics of getting round soo many houses in one night and squeezing down the chimney.
He also wants to make sure our address is clearly written on the letter as ‘he never gets anything’ he’s asked for. The bloody cheek!
arseling would tell their own child he does not exist,
er...
I've vague memories of trying to tell mine that their presents did not come from some strange old bloke who lives near the north pole and who creeps into the bedrooms of every child in the world, but rather from their mum and dad who love them. But frankly they were having none of that. No dad it's Father Christmas who brings presents, any fool knows that.
Like the rest of us, kids can believe what suits them and be pretty robust in defending that belief. So I wouldn't worry.
Wait, what do you me…
Holy shit. I have just got this as well. I had to look it up:
If the first pig went to the market to get slaughtered, then the “little piggy staying home” refers to a pig not yet ready to eat, and that must stay home to mature. The “little piggy having roast beef” is about fattening a pig up, while the fourth “piggy that gets none” is too small to go to the market. And perhaps most dark, that final little piggy is not singing “wee, wee, wee”, but rather crying in fright.
Thankfully, I've not eaten meat in over 30 years so I feel less bad about this cruel world 😂
My wife told me that Father Christmas wasn’t real. Still devastated (I’m 49 on Boxing Day.).
I was at infant school when I worked it out. I (vaguely) remember standing in the corridor outside class. I think the myth was sold to me as a delivery system rather than gifts "from" Father Christmas. Like, we've bought your presents, they're with Santa. Could be wrong, it was a while ago.
Cynically perhaps, I think there's an element to all this which is kind of cruel. Having to have "a serious chat" is a problem of our own devising. Is the discovery that the people you trust most in the whole world have been lying to you your entire life is some sort of rite of passage or life lesson? Can we not have fun, magic and excitement without the deception?
I've suddenly just remembered, our next door neighbour teaching me a magic trick when I was little. It was a trick deck (Svengali) so the stunt worked itself. He had me repeat it, said something like "now you've got the magic too." It was well-meaning but I promptly ran back indoors tried to show off my new-found powers with my own deck of cards, obviously failed and burst into tears.
Many ‘classic’ nursery rhymes are pretty messed up, though getting to a reliable explanation can be challenging.
Ring-a-ring-a-roses is about the plague - the ring of roses is the rash that developed on the skin of victims.
I borrowed from the CIA's media handbook and neither confirmed nor denied the existence of Santa and the Tooth Fairy when presented with allegations. On the plus side, the next logical step once they do realise is that they understand the presents come from us. Both figured it out before secondary school and asked; it's a real blow when they do, as you realised it's the end of quite a wonderful period of childhood and parenthood.
That said: the Tooth Fairy used to write in some pretty painful cursive which took absolutely hours to do, often late at night. Whoever was responsible for that had clearly read Tolkein's Father Christmas Letters for inspiration as a child.
The neighbour's kid also revealed she got £2 a tooth when ours only received £1 - Questions Were Asked.
Some other friends' kid also wrote to the Tooth Fairy, didn't get a response, hard cash *or* tooth collection, and wrote an absolutely livid green biro letter to the Fairy explaining that this level of service was utterly unacceptable. There were clear and instructive parallels to the Daily Mail Online comments section.
I have never felt so grown up and in the loop as when, around 14, my parents asked me to eat a mince pie and half of a carrot, as to keep up the illusion to my 4 year old sister.
(I worked it out about 7 I think, noticing that Santa and my mum had the same handwriting…)
Ring-a-ring-a-roses is about the plague – the ring of roses is the rash that developed on the skin of victims.
Yeah, that's the classic one and I believe that the explanation is a back-formation. The poem is way older than the plague I think.
Mary Mary Quite Contrary on the other hand, that's about one of the Queen Marys torturing her victims.
Yeah, that’s the classic one and I believe that the explanation is a back-formation. The poem is way older than the plague I think.
It isn't that old (19thC probably). It certainly doesn't appear in print until then, and there are regional variations of it that don't have 'plague references' in it For it to have been older than the plague, it would've have to have been around from at least the 17thC or maybe even the 14thC and never once been referred to by any author at all in the history of literature.
Says my wife; Prof of Early English Literature of Manchester Uni.
Why on earth would you tell her? They all KNOW it’s nonsense from about 6- 8, it goes round the playground. She was CHOOSING to believe cos it’s fun and exciting. Christmas, ruined.