A small brain bleed

You couldn't change anything, he was in the best hands.

You did the right thing, promptly got him into hospital. Hospital did the right things, did the right checks, and found the issue. Those two things have massively improved the chances of a complete recovery.

Stop being hard on yourself. What else could you have done?

You couldn’t change anything, he was in the best hands.

This. Unless you deliberately caused his crash I can't see what you should feel any guilt about. You got him to the hospital where the experts took over. Really hope it goes well for your pal.

You made the right decision in the moment, and that's led to him being in the right place to get the best and most timely care available. You couldn't have done anything else to improve the outcome.

Eh? He crashed you took him to hospital and he got checked out. Nothing to blame yourself for whatsoever.

This happened to me, and I don't remember a thing from the crash either, you definitely did the right thing and have nothing to feel guilty about. My friend had the same as you, personally, I am glad they were around..

Brain injuries need time to heal, a very long time, for me, it's been a long road and things are.. different, but they're ok.

I'd strongly recommend contacting headway: https://www.headway.org.uk/ they've been invaluable.

I choose the route for one of his first gravel rides, and whilst it was an easy section of an easy route it doesn't stop me wondering what if. Not rational I know but.......

You weren’t belaying him climbing and dropped him (has happened)

You didn’t shoot him by accident

You didn’t run into him

if he said ‘stop forcing me to do this’ then you might feel bad, rightly

Otherwise, it seems to be an accident

re prognosis - incredibly individual - from what you describe - could be 100% recovery (like me) to long impairment (like a friend) - it’s so difficult to know until end of first month …

but being in good hospital is vital

was he wearing helmet? MIPS?

I choose the route for one of his first gravel rides, and whilst it was an easy section of an easy route it doesn’t stop me wondering what if.

he may have stayed at home, tripped over the stair and broken his neck. Accidents happen, hopefully your mate makes a full recovery and it doesn’t put him off riding in future

Accident. Not at all your fault. You did all the right things after the accident and now he is the best place for all the right medical care.

Wot the Yak said.  Its only natural to think "what if" but you did the right things and could do no more.

I had a subdural haematoma caused by a kickboxing fight. Three visits to A&E and 2 to my GP over the course of four weeks, with what I thought was concussion. Each time they refused to scan me and sent me home advising me to take painkillers.

Four weeks and one day after the fight I went into work, headache was ever present but I was eating brufen and paracetamol every other hour. Eyes started rolling, started to wobble.so they took me to A&E...where the scanned me and found the bleed had built up so much that all of my brain was squashed into the left half of my skull. Cue panic from assorted doctors & consultants, I'm now no. 1 on the list for surgery in the Midlands and blue lighted over to QE for an op.

Few days in hospital, and months later when discharged as an outpatient, they told me that it was the first time they had seen a scan as bad as mine that wasn't post mortem...even my hard nosed nurse wife started to get upset then!

Good news is that I'm fully recovered, and no obvious lasting effects...although I'm pretty sure dementia is in the post for both me and my wife (she had a stroke age 35).

Your mate will be ok, he's in the very best hands.

Brain injuries are incredibly complex and individual, and recovery and rehabilitation can take years and is often life changing. Equally, others make an almost full recovery.

I have a traumatic brain injury, after I was hit by a car whilst out cycling 6 years ago. As mentioned above, Headway is a great charity, with lots of very useful information on their website, and a phone helpline if you want any advice.

As his friend, the best thing you can do as a mate is be there for him, both in the current emergency situation but also long term. I am lucky that I have some very supportive friends, but other people with a brain injury can often be left socially isolated.

I hope your friend recovers, he is in the best place at the moment.

anagallis_arvensis
Full Member
I choose the route for one of his first gravel rides, and whilst it was an easy section of an easy route it doesn’t stop me wondering what if. Not rational I know but…….

Firstly I really hope he's on the road to recovery very soon, it's amazing how much ability the brain has to sort itself out with the right medical assistance and a bit of rest.

As for blaming yourself, it's totally normal as your are a mate and evidently a decent bloke but you aren't God my friend. We all make a thousand choices every day which can occasionally lead to unexpected situations.

I don’t think it’s strange that you feel guilty. It’s part of the trauma you experienced going through the accident. It’s the natural reaction of a responsible person

But that feeling doesn’t make you guilty. Out not a rational response. What you are describing is a an accident that occurred in a very low risk situation. It sounds like your planning of the ride and reaction to the accident were spot. In general cycling increases not decreased your life expectancy and quality of life. You and your mate were unlucky. In the long term cycling can still lengthen his life

Not medical but some experience, my Dad had a small fall pulling a weed out of his garden, it came up suddenly and he toppled over backwards onto the grass and bumped his head. My mum laughed at him because it was funny.

FFWD a few weeks and on holiday we notice he's struggling to use one hand properly to eat, and more notably, he's swimming in circles in the pool. No memory, pain, slurring or anything, just this strange weakness. We didn't panic, but insisted he got checked out when he got home.

The GP took a look when he was back and said probably nothing but go to A&E and get checked. A&E said probably nothing but let's do a scan in case. A few mins later he was under blue lights on his way to the head injuries unit at the JR in Oxford. He'd had a tiny bleed that had no effect until enough had clotted (maybe to do with flight they said) to create some pressure that had started to show a bit like a stroke. The surgeon drilled his head open a few hours later* and the symptoms went like clicking your fingers.

I know the feeling of whether you carry any blame; you don't. He's in great hands now, he'll get great care and what will be will be.

* the surgeon was waiting for him when he arrived to discuss the operation, by now it was early evening but he wanted to wait a few hours as he already had a job to do and Dad had still been eating and drinking up to the scan. He then came and saw him late at night to tell him that he'd been bleeped because a RTC was coming in and that was taking priority, and that he'd then get some sleep and would come for Dad first thing in the morning. My Dad enquired what time that meant 'cos by then he was hungry and was told no, still NBM because he'd be going down at about 7ish. A quick calculation and Dad asked 'So I'm allowing you to drill into my skull on about 3 hours sleep?' 'You don't have to sign the forms if you don't want to' was the cheery aside as he disappeared out of the door to go and save another life, all part of the day job.

I can't remember his name .... a tiny almost bird like asian doctor in scrubs and crocs, but at that point he was the coolest man alive.

Some good advice ^^ can only add that, after a subarrachnoid Haemorrhage in 1980! and operation to clip it, I have managed another 45 yrs reasonably well, left hand side is still a bit weak and seem to have developed Raynuads issues in hands. Getting your mate to hospital was the best thing you could have done and in a timely manner. All the best for him and you. There seems to be a lot of people on here with similar stories, is that % representative of the general population?

I too have a small brain, that bled.

[that didn't work - should have been a pic of my bike helmet with a big dent in the back]

anyway, moderate to severe subdural haematoma end of November. May have posted a bit on the politics threads. Being told not to drive for six months was the main bummer. Though I was clearly lucky (for a given value of 'luck') as, a my wife put it in a neutrally worded whatsapp message to the kids visiting me first morning in hospital "he seems to be very much himself..."

So for the OP all I can say is that these things happen, pretty randomly

There we go - needed new helmet anyway.

If this helps any -

a mate of mine who I used to work with got himself rather too pissed one back in November. When he got home instead of eating his snacks in the kitchen he decided to take it upstairs and eat in the bedroom. He then went to take the empty plate downstairs, fell down the stairs and whacked his head on the door frame at the bottom. Thankfully he had a couple of mates in the house who called an ambulance.

He couldn't remember anything, didn't know who people were, where he was or anything, and when not asleep he was talking complete gibberish.

We had to visit him regularly, lots of friends about 15 of us on a rota. We put a 'memory board' up next to his bed with photos of all his friends, familiar objects and places he'd been etc.

It was a painfully slow six weeks/two months recovery, but by January he was back home, on his feet and could remember everything again, except for the night out, says he can't remember that at all. He's all back to normal now, driving to airports, long haul flights etc, fixing PCs.

anyway, moderate to severe subdural haematoma end of November. May have posted a bit on the politics threads.

Underrated comment.

Reminds me of this:

Just back from visiting he was sat up watching tennis and smiling, could really talk though which he obviously finds frustrating. Glad I went to see him.

Underrated comment.

Reminds me of this:

Lol, the phone caller did a brilliant setup for that. 😁

anagallis_arvensis
Full Member
Just back from visiting he was sat up watching tennis and smiling, could really talk though which he obviously finds frustrating. Glad I went to see him.

You'll need buying the first and last round in the pub for the rest of his life, you know that. 😉

Underrated comment.

Thanks . But I actually did post more on the politics threads for the few days I was in hospital.

My wife took me there apparently after I'd asked her three times where my bike was and she took me to find it in the back garden... Or maybe it was in the house by then and I carried on asking... There's a much longer story but it's not my thread...

He came out of hospital today, talking still tough but small steps I suppose!

Have they indicated what part of the brain was injured? this can often identify what problems may (hopefully not) become an issue if there is residual damage.