I'll keep it simple for now.
Is your teenager (14/15ish) allowed to take their phone to their bedroom?
Optional - at what level of daily usage (in hours) do you get concerned and try to enforce limits?
Ta.
Yes.
I don’t if they do they’re homework, engage with the family and get plenty sleep. All those can be achieved even when owning a mobile.
We did. And no limits. She's now 17 and turned out fine.
It's the way kids communicate now, don't try and fight it.
No.
We tried to limit timings but failed dismally.
So they sit on the sofa all day on their phones.
Pretty much.
Yes. And she's not quite 13. Removal of phone is social suicide these days. It does my head in a bit but i didn't make the rules.
Yes and unlimited for high schoolers ( 14 and 16)
Yes and charge downstairs at bedtime for primary schooler ( 11)
Whatever you don't let them have their phones for, they'll only do on ipads, xboxes, laptops and smart TV's anyway.
My kids can have a phone in their rooms, but I have restrictions turned on so the only things their phones can be used for is sms txt messages and phone calls. If they are still texting after lights out time the phone is confiscated until they leave for school in the morning.
Yes. Don't have limits, the only rule is the phone is left downstairs at bedtime.
...so the only things their phones can be used for is sms txt messages and phone calls.
Those are the last things phones get used for nowadays! 🙂
Phone was left downstairs at bedtime until she went to 6th form college. There is still a 11pm restriction on wifi for her though as she has no self control and will be up until 3am every night otherwise. (We've tried!).
The phone also makes her miserable but she just can't put it down. It's a real sad situation.
As well as the dangers of the dreaded phone, you need to be aware of the dangers of kids being out of the loop socially at school. It's a hard balance but i know a few parents who are quite strict on this sort of thing (and proud of it) but their kids are unpopular outsiders. Nowt wrong with being an outsider of course but its a bit of a gateway to being miserable and school can be hard enough at the best of times.
+1 for "..no limits. He’s now 17 and turned out fine"
Yes.
No limits.
As long as school work and other activities are done, what's the problem?
11, phones are handed in at 7pm.
when they get to 14/15 it`ll be up to them. They have to learn to moderate their usage themselves at some point.
Ive tried to limit his usage just to have no end of arguments about it. He's 14 next week so that'll be his birthday present, no mithering from me about phone usage! It goes on charge in the spare bedroom every night except at weekends.
13 year old daughter, mainly plays games on it, I frequently have a look at her phone, she knows this and could hide stuff if she really wanted, hey ho.
It goes on charge in the lounge at night, she can have it in her room if it's a sleep over.
She's a good kid, and as said above, it's just the way it is now.
15 and 12 year old boys - as others, only restriction is leave downstairs at bedtime.
8 year old daughter too younf for phone!!
Yes. Don’t have limits, the only rule is the phone is left downstairs at bedtime.
this
Although, if they are blatantly taking the mickey, they will lose pocket money instead, or other treats.
15 yes
1 no, so far
Kinda as I expected!
13 and 16. No phones/screens in their room after they go to bed, otherwise no restrictions. Never had an issue with homework or sports/music practice not getting done, which would change my view.
Eldest is apparently on track for Oxbridge, youngest probably could be if she had his work ethic. To be fair, she spends more time reading "young adult" fiction, whatever that is, than on her phone.
To be fair, she spends more time reading “young adult” fiction, whatever that is, than on her phone.
Vampire Porn
No limits pending all chores and homework done - which are all linked to Quarterly school results so far no issues.
Near 15 yr old and 12 yr old boys.
I pay the subscriptions so it's my rules. For a few years yet anyway. I try to explain why it's in their interest when questioned periodically!:
No phones upstairs at bedtime -charged downstairs. Many parents don't have this simple rule and if the phone's left on, amazes me how much messaging from friends is happening well after 11 on a school night. Developing brain/body/need to absorb learning and all that!
Classic was my eldest (when much younger) was having mates round to sleep, he begged me to allow phones in the bedroom. Said it would be so embarrassing. I went upstairs after a much extended allowance (until about about 11pm) and explained our house rule and the visiting boys all handed over the phones v politely - nearly creased up in front of them thinking about Kevin the teenager "yes Mrs Pattison":->
We have some high limits set - some reporting/control via family link app - not always enforced as whilst it always seems to MrsP they're on screens too much (some xbox), I think they get the balance with outdoor activities, sport and doing well at school pretty much right.
14 daughter. Hands over phone at 21.00 mon - Thurs. Unlimited apart from this.
10 daughter. No phone til 11th birthday. Has iPad and same time as above.
The 14 year old will engage fully once her phone is handed over so it's a nice time to spend with her. No plans on letting her have it overnight til she's 16. She needs a few hours downtime.
Under 16, all screens are in public places.
16-18 we ease off, but I still have all phone passwords and doors are open.
Over 18, they're adults.
All have time limited on screen.
I'm gobsmacked how many insta and Snapchat messages get sent at 2am to them...
Oh, and time limits are challenging, they ignore them all and it takes real 'enforcement', such as back of the car = you chat, not phone all the time.
I also worked out that restricting data a bit slows them down...
I feel sad at some of the parents comments on here. There's more to life than apps on a phone, maybe not to a 15 year old, but come on! How / why do you allow it to that extent? Genuinely interested. When i go out and see families all sat around the dining table using their phones it really upsets me. How have mobiles made people so dependent?
Glowing rectangles of narcissism...
Our 14 year olds phone is allowed in bedroom until bedtime, no limits, but it charges downstairs... but his Apple watch charges beside the bed... phones supposed to be on airplane mode... He's pretty responsible. As above, it's social suicide not to be connected to your friends by social media these days. I'm a terrible role model.
I feel sad at some of the parents comments on here.
Do you have children?
There’s more to life than apps on a phone, maybe not to a 15 year old, but come on! How / why do you allow it to that extent?
I "allowed" it because my daughter was also getting on well at school, doing outdoor activities and volunteering for full days at her local RDA, also managing to fit in a busy social life. TBH I'm failing to see the issue or why so many parents have to be so prescriptive.
11 year old no phone yet but has a kindle 14 year old limited to 9pm but to be honest not really fussed about it. We have a rule no devices at dinner table and if we have visitors devices put away. Seems to work ok
10 year old and 12 year old , both have phones (hand me downs from me and the Mrs) and iPads and broadly the same rules. The only reason the 10 year old has one is to co-ordinate school pickups but a phone is a phone and as soon as he got it, he was downloading Geometrydash within about 3 mins and taking photos of the dog with filters.
Phones are charged in their rooms.
I spot check their phones for content and I also check the Screentime to make sure they aren't being used at inappropriate times, seeing as we found the big lad had been using his iPad for gaming at 6am suggests that the checks work as the iPads are no longer charged in their rooms.
No phones at meal times - applies to everyone. Phones go away on dog walks or if I get annoyed with seeing the top of their heads.
My house, my WiFi, my rules.
No electronics upstairs at all. I'm not having them isolate themselves from all human contact except for a glowing screen of virtual isolation.
No phones after 19:00, but not always enforced, especially at weekends.
Frankly, I'm more concerned by brain development and destructive habits than I am on it taking time from school work.
Not sure what I'm going to do at 18. technically they'll be adults, but my eldest isn't as mature as she should be for here age.
We did. And no limits. She’s now 17 and turned out fine.
It’s the way kids communicate now, don’t try and fight it.
PM me when she's 18 will ya! Ta.
I feel sad at some of the parents comments on here. There’s more to life than apps on a phone, maybe not to a 15 year old, but come on! How / why do you allow it to that extent? Genuinely interested. When i go out and see families all sat around the dining table using their phones it really upsets me. How have mobiles made people so dependent?
Cos its not about the phone really, its about social inclusion and fitting in with peers. Taking pictures of a dog and putting silly filters on it isnt my idea of fun, but if all their friends are doing it then taking that away can be harmful to the child in other ways. It would be great if all parents stopped giving kids phones, but thats never going to happen.
Yep, the modern way is a bit sad but here we are debating on the internet so "let he who is without sin...." etc
TBH I’m failing to see the issue or why so many parents have to be so prescriptive.
Prescriptive and concerned ? It might be that proscription isn't the best way to deal with concerns but ...
Cos its not about the phone really, its about social inclusion and fitting in with peers.
So really it's a bit of a question on the what is acceptable to fit in with peers? Do you say smoking is OK but no Class A ??
If that sounds melodramatic then look into the brain chemistry and what is actually being sold...
How long do you allow each day before breakfast for completing daily log-ins so they get rewards... what level of nudity is OK in snapchat to meet social inclusion?
Unfortunately I think the main issue here is the dealers have far more sophisticated networks and methods than parents...
Taking pictures of a dog and putting silly filters on it isnt my idea of fun, but if all their friends are doing it then taking that away can be harmful to the child in other ways. It would be great if all parents stopped giving kids phones, but thats never going to happen.
I agree but how do you control when silly pictures of a dog slowly changes to something more sinister... how do you know if your kid is a victim or taking part in online bullying?
Thanks for all the input folks. Basically all thoughts I've had and just trying to get the balance right. I will be very intrigued to look back in 10/20 years time and try to work out how phones have affected the current generation. Maybe my fears are unfounded but we'll see. Good to know others have concerns but also that some have had kids come through it and they have turned out fine.
