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I am occasional poster and contributor but mainly reader and lurker but thought I would say a thank you.
On the back of a really hard week after 2 years dealing with terminal cancer with my better half the forum really helps.
The week has been a build up of a new treatment which is knocking my wife sideways for nearly 2 weeks at a time as well a 3 month scan which we now have the dreaded wait. On top of trying to launch new business to enable my brother in law to work for the first time in ever I raised my voice to my wife. After a cycle to think I realised I am keeping myself busy in order not to think about the things to come.
Reading through some of the topics tonight has bought a tear to my eye but given me renewed strength.
Putting something on here and reading the brilliant advice and comments really helps in difficult times and stops me going lower.
Again thanks. Not much else can be said but already feel better.
Not much else can be said but already feel better.
Sharing your thoughts with others during difficult times always helps. In fact I think it is surprising just how much it does help.
I guess a sense of isolation quite understandably always makes difficult times harder to cope with, just sharing your thoughts with others helps to overcome that sense of isolation.
Keep busy but also keep talking dci.
Thanks Ernielynch. You have hit the nail on the head. I have been feeling isolated and lonely even though seeing lots of people but not catching up with mates.
Also feel like I am always putting up a positive front to everyone to keep things going!!
It is good to talk!
Like
putting up a positive front
Well try to be positive however difficult things may be, taking each day at a time - no one knows what tomorrow will bring to any of us, it will help you and your wife.
But when you are struggling and it is just a front which hides a lot of negative thoughts it is important to share it with others. Important for you and therefore also your wife.
And talking isn't just beneficial because it helps to overcome a sense of isolation, often when we are overcome with negative thoughts we will lose our sense of perspective and negative thoughts feed greater negativity which spirals to a very unrealistic level. Talking to someone who understands your situation can help to re-establish a more realistic and less negative perspective.
It's okay to be human - none of us are made of stone!
👍
At times there are expectations that we can cope, function and continue regardless of the circumstances.
This is often an unreasonable expectation.
I have no advice, but as I was trying to explain STW to the lovely Mrs Binners the other day,
We've got your back. This place is like a mosh pit in a rock club, we crash around like bellends but as soon as someone falls everything stops until they're hauled back to their feet.
Actually, I do have some advice. Two nuggets of wisdom from friends from back when I wasn't coping, which I've carried with me ever since:
1) If you're a carer and you fall over, you're of no use to anyone else.
2) Where's your support network?
You must look after number one first and foremost. It's not selfish even if it feels like it, it's the hardest thing in the world but it is absolutely critical. Ride your bike. Go for a walk. Talk to us. Talk to friends. Talk to complete strangers. Don't talk to anyone, go sit in the bath until your extremities go wrinkly. Take up a new hobby. Run out into the night-time drizzle in your underpants and scream at the moon. Learn Russian.
I don't know, whatever. Do whatever it takes to keep hold of your sanity, and don't you dare feel guilty about it. If you're on your arse yourself then you aren't support, you're simply an added worry. Do whatever it takes to get your own shit in order because that empowers you. Been here, let me show you my tee-shirt collection.
Putting something on here and reading the brilliant advice and comments really helps in difficult times
Yeah, definitely understand what you mean. My life has been turned upside down several times over the past few years. Been through some pretty horrendous and very dark times, still am if I'm honest, but there's always someone willing to listen and offer advice. I've posted on here numerous times, mainly to vent, but had some wonderful replies from lots of amazing people. And if you need or want to chat or vent or whatever, please message me.
Can definitely appreciate and understand what you're saying though. It's not just a community, it's become like a family to me.
Cheers everyone and gnusmas. Its good to be given perspective and an understanding on how to cope.
Also have to learn to look after myself as well as others as about as useful as a chocolate teapot otherwise.
Hopefully some holiday time this week will help!