[Closed] A fight kicked off in the garden this morning.

You need to scarify and perhaps use a hollow core tine fork.

I don't want to kill them you sick bastard.

🙂

You won't have to.

In my experience the pheasant is the most suicidal of birds.

I had to pull a damaged one out of a front wheel once. And then finish it off. 🙁

I had to pull a damaged one out of front wheel once. And then finish it off.

Is that technically poaching or is it an old gamekeepers tale?

And then finish it off

Utter filth

I was driving past the Eastnor estate once, when they were shooting pheasants.
If the shot didn't kill one, the impact of it on my drivers side window probably did..

Oh the weeds, and those pots!

We have a couple of them in our garden, they get on really well, no fighting.

And if we don't put a bit of seed out for them by 9:30am they tap on the patio door to remind us!

As a train driver I agree, they really do try to do themselves in more than any other creature.

Oh the weeds, and those pots!

True. Bu if it's any consolation in a couple of months there will be a drive there to a new 4 bed being built behind the "orchard".
So I really have lost interest.
And its the winter.

We used to feed a pheasant called Stumpy - he'd obviously had some some sort of altercation in the past that had left him with a sort of gangster / yardie limp.

The reason we fed him wasn't because we felt sorry for him but because we wanted him to associate humans with food. You couldn't quite get him to eat from your hand but near enough. He was pretty bold about it and after a while would tap impatiently at our window every day (always at 11 - even where the clocks changed which was weird)

I live on a big country estate and there's a guy who spends pretty much his whole life either cutting the grass or raking up leaves. Whenever we look out the window he's in the landscape somewhere.

Once Stumpy got the notion that humans=snacks he started following Davie the Gardner around. All day. Every day. For Months.

I live on a big country estate

I used to live on one of those, but without the R.

bloomin eastern european immigrants, commin over here & causing trouble!

I used to live on one of those, but without the R.

You lived in an Audi Q7?

LOL @macruiskeen

You lived in an Audi Q7?

Maybe. It was difficult to tell. There were no indications

I remember a vegan (before it was trendy) friend having to pull one out of his wheel arch. He was most upset. Coincidentally, also an Audi (A6)

We had one of the mad birds fly into the front of an old VW LT minibus.
Much damage to the headlight and plastic on the flat front. Plus a growing burning smell on the hour long journey back to the outdoor centre.
I took off the cover over the engine, between driver and passenger, to find one roasted pheasant and one very much still alive....! 😲

Is that technically poaching or is it an old gamekeepers tale?

Apostrophe please.

Is that technically poaching or is it an old gamekeepers tale?

Apostrophe please

But "is tha' technically poaching" has a different meaning to "is that..."

I took off the cover over the engine, between driver and passenger, to find one roasted pheasant and one very much still alive….!

I had similar when I borrowed the works sprinter for a weekend - hit a pheasant and had to point out the damage on return - a crack in the front grill.

Week's later a severed head dropped out on driver's front drive - he popped the bonnet and pheasant anatomy was basically distributed all around the engine bay. What appeared to be a crack in the plastic grill was the whole thing split in half but the two halves had sprung back into position. Looks like it had taken a few trips around the auxiliary drive belt.

Had so many near misses with Pheasants when on my road bike, came round a bend once to find 30 of the ****ers in the road! they ran everywhere luckily i managed to stop before one went in my front wheel

If you think a pheasant can be sucked into a cars grille/ headlight causing untold damage, imagine what it would be like if it was a deer!

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imagine what it would be like if it was a deer!

I don’t have to imagine. I came round a corner 40 years ago to find an MGB with the driver dead due to a deer coming through the windscreen. His girlfriend was smashed up too.
I missed meeting a similar end due to the deer that jumped out in front me 20 years later somehow avoiding me.

This thread

In Canada it's moose you have to worry about. 2m high at the shoulder(!) and incredibly top-heavy. Even in a modern car if you hit one you'll be lucky to survive half a ton of angry moose rolling into your lap...

Ah yes the moose test/  älgprov.

It is not uncommon here to have plastic gloves,  a large knife and plastic bags in the car just in case you nail an elk on the way home from work.

If you think a pheasant can be sucked into a cars grille/ headlight causing untold damage, imagine what it would be like if it was a deer!

Similarly I once saw an episode of one of those 999: Emergency programmes where a motorcyclist had a bird smash through his visor :-O

Sadly been to finish off a few deer that have been hit by cars and seen a lot of damage done. My favourite one was the pheasant that committed suicide into my boss's Volvo grill. He happily retrieved it to hang for later but it did get the last laugh with the unseen damage to the radiator causing my boss's car to commit hari-kiri itself stranding him miles from home shortly afterwards.

Try pulling out tail feather of one of them then film the other chasing the other trying to hump him

Seriously funny as f

You won’t have to.

In my experience the pheasant is the most suicidal of birds.

During the two years I spent driving for BCA I was on motorways and dual-carriageways a lot, and covered many thousands of miles, the most common things I saw were shredded tyre carcasses, high-viz jackets, badgers and pheasants. Lots and lots of pheasants.
I’m pretty certain there are single-cell organisms which are smarter than your average pheasant.
I nearly got taken off my bike by a pheasant once, narrow country lane, slight downhill with a good following wind, in the big ring, doing 30+, and a pheasant came through a break in the hedge at head height, close enough I could have grabbed its tail feathers, if I’d been dumb enough to take a hand off the ‘bars.
A fraction faster, and it wouldn’t have been a thought going through my mind, it would have been several kilos of pheasant at 30-40mph!

It is not uncommon here to have plastic gloves, a large knife and plastic bags in the car just in case you nail an elk on the way home from work

If nailing an elk is your thing fair enough, but why do you need all that other gear is it just to spice it up a bit?

Massive lol @ howsyourdad1
Can’t stop giggling now.