[Closed] £500 to start a business

Offer £500 to people who had a decent profitable idea.

Give me £500 & I'll advise you.

Start up a business selling stun guns to body builders.

Not telling you.

£500?

I'd go into competition with SpaceX designing, manufacturing and operating low earth orbit satellite launch systems. Yeah, either that or a window cleaner.

buy lots of notebooks and biros then write a series of best selling novels, then cash in on the film and merchandising rights.

Is that £ 500 plus VAT?

Lemonade stand. I’m talking quality lemonade here

Dog leads, nappy sacks and start a dog walking business.

I’d buy 1bn scented candles made in China, sell them to you lot of freaks.

£500 of bagpipe lessons.
Borrow my mates pipes and kilt.
Stand at Glencoe ish area for most of the summer.

I’d buy 1bn scented candles made in China, sell them to you lot of freaks.

Wan Quay Candles.

My brand consultancy fee of £500 is in the post.

I'd pay £500 for Matt oab to stop.

Dog leads, nappy sacks and start a dog walking business.

Dog nappies.

Poo bags

Poo bags

For festival goers.

Vacuum sealed bag containing a couple of sheet of loo roll and a wet wipe. Open bag, crap into bag, use loo roll, finish with the wet wipe, pop it all in the bag tie off the top and hang it from the nearest tree.

Jobby jobbed.

I'd pay £500 for Matt oab to stop.

Step 1. Hire a car for the day plus all the insurances.
Step 2. Setup a youtube channel.
Step 3. Rag the car around doing mad shit for a few hours.
Step 4. Upload several short 5min videos of the mad shit.
Step 5. Promote all over social media. Hope one or two of them goes viral.
Step 6. Turn the £500 investment into a couple of grand.
Step 7. Come back on here for further ideas.

Spend £250 on bricks
Spend £250 on leaflets advertising your emergency glazing service

Tape the leaflets round the bricks and chuck them through peoples windows

Sounds like I've hit on a sure fire winner financially.

I'd set up a car leasing business called Lingers

For a micro business you need a skill to sell, even if it’s the ability to walk someone else’s dog for an hour.

I’d spend £200 on supplies and £100 on some leaflets to advertise your new cleaning business and start purshing them through the doors of the nice big middle class houses your way. (The spare £200 you can keep as a Greggs slush fund to keep you going) it might take a few weeks to get your first customer - once you do that you can earn their trust before you rob them - just remeber to use some kind of accent whenever you talk to them, they’ll tell the police you were polish, you were only ever ‘Sammy the Cleaner’ to them, they only ever paid in cash and your PAYG mobile number isn’t be answered anymore.

Mine cost 12 quid. Where did I go wrong?

To be fair the domain name was another 6 quid or so.

How are the Fish Fingers going?

Mine cost 12 quid. Where did I go wrong?

you spent the remaining £488 in Greggs

matt_outandabout - Member
£500 of bagpipe lessons.
Borrow my mates pipes and kilt.
Stand at Glencoe ish area for most of the summer.

£5 for a crypto-currency related domainname.
Another £5 for one of those tiresome oh-so-trendy websites.
Then do an ICO and raise $500M in funding.
Make sure to be a long way away when it all goes horribly wrong about a week later. Claim that your investors money is "irretrievably" lost (it isn't of course).

Genuinely buy lots of kids comforters from mothercare and mamas and papas. Wait till next year when they are no longer for sale in the shop and fleece guilty parents when thier kids gets lost/damaged and they have to buy the same one. Its a year long plan but for sure a better investment than gold..

Crowdfund campaign for something fun/edgy/tech and spend the money. Nobody expects it to ever happen.
Coke dispensing hover hookers for example.

buy lots of notebooks and biros then write a series of best selling novels, then cash in on the film and merchandising rights.

Laughed out loud reading that

For festival goers.

Vacuum sealed bag containing a couple of sheet of loo roll and a wet wipe. Open bag, crap into bag, use loo roll, finish with the wet wipe, pop it all in the bag tie off the top and hang it from the nearest tree.

I’d do this only put the loo roll and wet wipe in a different bag so that they don’t get shat on 😉

By the time you've paid an accountant etc would you get much change from £500 even just ditching PAYE and doing your old job as a consultant/contractor?

I’d do this only put the loo roll and wet wipe in a different bag so that they don’t get shat on

Oh come on, obviously this has been considered during extensive design and development (I was thinking about it in the shower earlier on)

Before and during use, the tidy up products would be held in the front marsupial style pouch of the CrapBag™, this keeps them clean until they are needed. Clever folding of the bag prior to opening means that despite being accessible during use they are kept sealed and fresh until needed.

Also forgot to mention that the bag has two long adjustable straps attached that hook over the shoulders to keep the CrapBag™ in the perfect position during use.

The long straps will be great for helping the user throw shitbag like an Olympic hammer thrower stageward.

The long straps will be great for helping the user throw shitbag like an Olympic hammer thrower stageward.

Exactly. "It's functional and fun"

This quote might make it onto a jauntily angled star printed on the CrapBag™ although I'm keen to avoid any surplus packing so if it cant be printed (with environmentally friendly ink) directly on to the bag then it probably won't make the final design.

500 scratchcards

Buy something cheap, sell for lots.
Did this with 3.5" floppies then CR2032 calculator batteries. Made thousands.

sbob - Member
Buy something cheap, sell for lots.
Did this with 3.5" floppies then CR2032 calculator batteries. Made thousands.

Which decade, century was this? 😀

Exactly. "It's functional and fun"

This quote might make it onto a jauntily angled star printed on the CrapBag™ although I'm keen to avoid any surplus packing so if it cant be printed (with environmentally friendly ink) directly on to the bag then it probably won't make the final design.

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Use the £500 to take advantage of free bets from bookies and do matched betting and you'll at least double that £500 completely risk free.

Guide [url= https://www.savethestudent.org/make-money/what-is-matched-betting.html ]here[/url] if you don't know what it is.

My dad sent me a video of the piper at Glencoe this summer. I reckon you could save a bit and skip the lessons. No one would know.

Get a million things from here https://www.aliexpress.com/ and sell them on at a big profit.

It would help if you discover the next big thing for kids (ie fidget spinner)

One big £££££ earner I knew of was a guy who had spoof teeshirts printed up ie; a tee that looks like the Nike Swoosh + 'Just Do It' but instead it was a sperm in place of the swoosh and 'Just Did It'. He sold them at music festivals and basically made enough over the festival season to mean he didn't have to do anything else for the remainder of the year.

Buy £300 worth of xmas crackers
£50 worth of rude novelty toys from aliexpress
£50 worth of custom stickers to re-label crackers.
£20 on a domain and hosting
£10 on printing out jokes from sickipedia
£70 on advertising Facebook page and giving away freebies for likes/shares

SickJokeCrackers.com

Poopscoop - Member

Which decade, century was this?

Late 80's/early 90's. 🙂
Whilst a schoolboy. 8)

Set up a web cam in your bedroom and charge people to watch you frolicking in a range of women’s underwear.

seriously why all the sarcastic and scathing remarks?

if you want to give it a go, if you've got 50p, 500quid or 50k just try it. if you fail, you are 500 down, if you succeed then well done you tried and it worked.

every business starts somewhere and with something.

Do you know any Poles you could buy a taser from? Set yourself up as a sort of hitman lite. Stick an add in the classifieds an offer to go round and taser forum members who have pissed off other forum members for a fee.

Actually buy two tasers and forum members who have fallen out with each other could fight a taser duel. Invest a bit more in top hats and frock coats which they can also rent from you.

seriously why all the sarcastic and scathing remarks?

Because it's funny. Next!

seriously why all the sarcastic and scathing remarks?

Because the OP hasn't really given us much to go on

every business starts somewhere and with something.

Correct - it doesn't start nowhere, with nothing, and £500.

Get £500 worth of the letter i in various sizes from a sign supplier, then go about correcting all the “To let” signs you can find. Some things are worth more than money!