[Closed] 3rd date and.......

When I was in the dating game I always had the rule that if a girl didn't offer to buy a round on the first date it never went to a second date. Having said that I rarely let them buy a drink on the first date even if they offered.

Its not about being tight, if a girl doesn't make any attempt to buy a round or split the bill it tells you a lot about them and their outlook on 'equality.

My wife to be pays for as many meals, drinks etc as I do and always has.

In short get rid.

I gave up on a girl a while ago who always seemed to have forgotten her purse. To be fair, I don't think she was trying to get out of paying. She was just a bit of a f&&kwit and forgot everything, all of the time. She'd routinely leave her house keys at home and forget her phone, then wouldn't be able to call me to tell me that she was running late etc etc.

I think the final straw came when we were back at her place and she managed to trip over her cat (not a euphemism).

😯

Quite simple, the sexes are becoming increasingly equal all the time in terms of spending power. Just date women in the same socio-economic position as you, really really rich women who have a low chance of dating someone richer than themselves, or women that want to make their own way in life without getting anywhere off the backs of men by using their femininity.

Women are strange creatures; they want equal wages, yet they don't like dating men who earn less than them; they like gentlemen, yet holding a door open for them is chauvinistic; they say they like nice guys yet they have a track record of dating jerks; they want high flying careers, yet still want the time to have a perfect relationship with their babies. Etc etc etc.

No need to be bitter though as there are plenty of nice intelligent women who have a lot of self awareness. You should be dating around to find one instead of keeping your eggs in one basket....and making sure you are a good enough person to keep one when you do find them.

I gave up on a girl a while ago who always seemed to have forgotten her purse.

The official term for this is 'Doing a Hora'

I take it you asked her out on the dates, and maybe I'm guessing you suggested where to go, right? cool, your paying then LOL

Hey, maybe if women only went on dates with people they found attractive or enjoyed being with instead of basing their dates on how much the man could pay for, women would be less objectified by men? After all, it's then just another transaction for a service/material object.

If she is pretty average looking why have you made it to the third date?
You're desperate, so keep spending.

DezB, so you agree with women being objectified through the use of money?

they like gentlemen, yet holding a door open for them is chauvinistic

I always hold doors open, let women get in lifts first etc. I've never once encountered anything but a polite thanks

they like gentlemen, yet holding a door open for them is chauvinistic

I always hold doors open, let women get in lifts first etc. I've never once encountered anything but a polite thanks

Are you expecting a blow-job? 🙂

Hora = Women cant say no to him, proof is needed.

Emsz = Women cant say no to her, from her own mouth.

OP maybe going all the way at his next date but what about the cost benefit analysis

Don Simon gets sympathy shags, don't know why.

Weather in Swansea is dire and my first day back from hols is really dragging.

Jota what age group are you in?....as I've met a fair few younger women 20-25 range who are irritated by it.

bwaarp - Member

Jota what age group are you in?....as I've met a fair few younger women 20-25 range who are irritated by it.

I've only ever met one woman who was irritated by my holding a door open for her. She was about 30.

That said, she was even more irritated when taking her at her word, I didn't hold the subsequent door for her which then clouted her around the face. 😉

You can't please everyone, but like many, I hold doors open for all regardless of age or gender.

Jota what age group are you in?.

I'm 53 but I open doors etc. for all, what do you think I am ageist? 🙂
As I said, I've never encountered a woman [of any age] that appeared irritated at all, quite the contrary

bwaarp - Member
Jota what age group are you in?....as I've met a fair few younger women 20-25 range who are irritated by it.

You need to wait until said woman is fully in front of you before you stare at her arse.

I don't think whether you hold doors open for people, or not, divides along gender lines. Just manners, innit?

I once got called a sexist pig for holding a door open for a woman. She still walked through it though (and I'd have held it open for anyone behind me irrespective of gender anyway).

We do seem to be in a transitionary phase socially and legally with gender roles at the moment. Seems [i]some[/i] women only want equality when it favours them; so they want the same opportunities, same wages, yet still expect a man to pay for everything and get take half of his stuff when they split up. I've no issues with equality, and I've no issues with one partner being a breadwinner and one a home-maker instead either, whatever works for a given partnership, but when one cherry-picks the best bits of both worlds it causes problems.

Under normal circumstances within a relationship I've always viewed 'who pays' as being dependant on ability to do so. Dating is a bit different though.

If I "took a girl out" then by definition I'd expect to pay (and want to, it's nice to treat someone), though after a few dates if she hadn't even [i]offered [/i]to buy me a drink or something then I'd be questioning whether she was taking the pish and whether I'd want to be entering into anything more serious based on this one-way precedence. Basically, I'm all for being a gentleman, but there has to be some sort of balance. I like partners to be equals, not trophies.

Currently, my OH earns more than I do, and historically both of us have been out of work at different times, so it would be ludicrous for me to [i]always [/i]pay for things. We work it based on whoever has spare cash at a given moment.

You need to wait until said woman is fully in front of you before you stare at her arse.

Nahh, I'm a tits man.

[i] maybe if women only went on dates with people they found attractive or enjoyed being with instead of basing their dates on how much the man could pay for, women would be less objectified by men?[/i]

way to miss the point...If I ask a girl out, then i'm paying, ie "can I buy you lunch, can I take you to dinner" etc etc. if you can't pay or are worried about money "Can I cook you dinner"...will do just fine if she's interested which hopefully she is if we're arranging a dinner date!!

If someone asks me to dinner, then yep I expect that they're paying!!

[i]Emsz = Women cant say no to her, from her own mouth.[/i]

Ha!! I wish!! when did I say that? LOL

Edit: I don't mind having a door held open for me, it's a bit embarrasing, but I always say thanks

I once got called a sexist pig for holding a door open for a woman. She still walked through it though (and I'd have held it open for anyone behind me irrespective of gender anyway).

I meant in the sense of opening for them and letting them through in front whilst holding it open

way to miss the point...If I ask a girl out, then i'm paying, ie "can I buy you lunch, can I take you to dinner" etc etc. if you can't pay or are worried about money "Can I cook you dinner"...will do just fine if she's interested (which hopefully she is of we're arranging a dinner date!!

Sure the first date is fine but after that it should be equal.

If the woman doesn't want to go halves on the second date and the man has asked her out on a second date, she should turn it down as she obviously doesn't like the man enough to ethically agree to going on the date. She is stringing him along.

I once got called a sexist pig for holding a door open for a woman.

[img] [/img]

? 😀

I once got called a sexist pig for holding a door open for a woman

She needs to get over herself!

But seriously I think some gents out there are almost too scared to hold doors open. Certainly Ive seen some women who will almost barge to the front to open the door themselves. Its almost as if its an attempt to prove not only are they equal but in some ways better? These women (Ive noticed it in) do tend to be quite high powered execs & perhaps its a new Alpha thing?

edit: LOL @ Binners!

Lebowski....personally I don't see the problem though....I don't mind proper full on careerist feminists who hate men opening the door for them as I don't have to pay as much on the dates.

bwaarp, probably, but you never know, what if she was amazing looking and broke...

emsz - Member

bwaarp, probably, but you never know, what if she was amazing looking and broke...
Posted 12 seconds ago # Report-Post

Then you'd still hold the door open for her...on your way into Spearmint Rhino.

Always hold door open for anyone reglardless of gender, if i was giving a female a lift somehwere i would normally open the car door for them as well, just to be polite. My daughter finds this particulalry good as she's onlt 2 and can;t open it herself 😀

I hold doors open for women very often. They never come through though, they just go weak at the knees and faint.

MTFU. You're a man, pay for her. If you can't, find a girlfriend you can afford.

bwaarp, probably, but you never know, what if she was amazing looking and broke...

That depends.....

If it was known by both of us that the dates were casual and mostly for sex then yes and by that I mean that she was just in it for sex/fun as well. I wouldn't be paying so I could potentially get sex later, I would pay because both of us have a good time together.

If it were potentially more long term, I'd try to judge what kind of a person she was on the first date.... how well she treated waiters etc.... how polite she was on the first date etc... whether we had any common ground. Any signs of ingratitude or rudeness then I would not. I wouldn't be paying for her just because she was incredibly hot.

I hold doors open for women very often. They never come through though, they just go weak at the knees and faint.

By 'doors', do you mean your flies?

If the woman doesn't want to go halves on the second date and the man has asked her out on a second date, she should turn it down as she obviously doesn't like the man enough to ethically agree to going on the date. She is stringing him along.

I don't think it's that black and white. If I were working and dating a student, I'd pay for everything (or, not date a student if that was a problem). If I was dating a company Director, I'd expect her to get her bloody hand in her pocket.

My daughter finds this particulalry good as she's onlt 2 and can;t open it herself

you're bringing her up in a way that will leave her downtrodden, for ever expecting men to run round opening doors for her. Leave her in the car (crack the window, bowl of water if it's hot) until she's capable of fending for herself. Tough love is the only way

MTFU. You're a man, pay for her. If you can't, find a girlfriend you can afford.

Someones missed the point here..

A girlfriend you can afford?

What century are you living in?

edit: excuse me, perhaps its not you but the women you date?

You're a man, pay for her. If you can't, find a girlfriend you can afford.

I'm not really sure it's about the money is it? My wife, always offered to pay / go halves before we were married, although I usually paid. It was indicative to me of someone who was kind and considerate and enjoyed sharing things - you know, the stuff that's quite important in a relationship.

Maybe I'm lucky, but I've never had a problem with this, girls have always paid on the second date. Good job too, as I'm a tight bagstard! 😀

Are you her only date(r)?

Did you find her on Pof? If so I'd refer to point one above.

Thats alot of spend in anyones books. On the 4th date can't you do something like a Museum etc that doesn't involve rich/foods/eating out and expense? That way you'll be in a different setting and have a chance to discern more about her.

she's pretty average looking