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My missus has an iPhone with an apple ID, the eldest has a iPhone with the same apple ID, how do I get it so the calls & texts incoming to the wifes phone don't end up on his and vice versa?
I'm sure there's a reason you're doing it that way - but the easy answer is to set up different apple IDs. You can set it up as a child in a family if he's under 13 - then you can track / set screen time etc.
If there's a reason not to do this - you'd have to disable messages on one phone and decide who gets to use Messages and who is stuck with SMS.
Calls and texts aren't related to an Apple ID. They come through to the SIM number.
The problem they may have is with iMessages if they both use the same Apple ID. This can be avoided by using the individual phone numbers rather than the Apple ID to send and receive iMessages.
Settings -> Messages -> iMessage Send & Receive to set the preference.
Alternatively, as mentioned above, set up a different Apple ID for your son.
Calls and texts aren’t related to an Apple ID
Not true. Settings, messages “text message forwarding” and same setting for calls.
Not true. Settings, messages “text message forwarding” and same setting for calls.
That only applies if you want to use another Apple device (e.g. iPad or iMac) to also be able to handle calls and text messages.