[Closed] Wrapped flowers by the trailside - a little bit sobering.

Don’t see the point of stuff like this - especially flowers by a roadside after a car crash. Do people put flowers by the bed where grandpa died in hospital?

Do people put flowers by the bed where grandpa died in hospital?

No. Flowers have been banned in hospitals for years.

It's about respect and remembrance. If you don't see the point I don't imagine anyone can explain it to you in terms you'll understand. I don't mean this as criticism, just an observation.

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Do people put flowers by the bed where grandpa died in hospital?

I do, but to be fair he was a really terrible driver, it's worth paying a little tribute to anyone that can get a Ford Cortina embedded that far into a hospital

Its a strange one this because I drive for a living and last Tuesday a 50 driver was killed by a young woman when he was by his lorry getting ready to unload caravans yet on Friday when you passed the spot only one set of flowers there and they had blown down seemed very very sad all round.

I don't mind flowers, although I think I'd rather place them at someone's favourite spot than at the side of the A303.

It is sad though when the flowers die and become rubbish/forgotten, that seems a little disrespectful that they are not removed/replaced.

Do people put flowers by the bed where grandpa died in hospital?

There is quite a difference between most deaths in hospital due to illness—especially when, as per your example, accompanied by old age; and a death on the road which is inevitably sudden, violent, unexpected and a direct result of human decisions rather than natural illnesses. People’s reactions differ accordingly.

I can understand initially putting flowers where someone was tragically killed but what I don't get is when they decide to turn the spot into some sort of shrine that just looks an eyesore. Also if you place flowers at least go back and clear them up when they die rather than let them rot in the plastic wrapper.

It seems to be done very differently on the continent. Something is actually constructed, some effort put into it. Candles are lit and the site maintained.

Here, we just dump teddies, football scarves, flowers and other associated tat at the side of the road and leave it there.

I can understand initially putting flowers where someone was tragically killed but what I don’t get is when they decide to turn the spot into some sort of shrine that just looks an eyesore.

This for me. I get grieving is a process and different people deal with it in different ways, but presumably in most cases where people have died on the road its because its an accident blackspot...a dodgy junction or something like that...so stopping in an unsafe place to place flowers on the spot just adds to the danger and increases the chances of another accident. I guess there isn't any documented case where people placing flowers by a lethal junction causing an accident...but the point is there is a first for everything so it's only a matter of time. I guess you can't stop it but when people keep adding flowers and other trinkets and don't clear up the rotting mulch and plastic coverings of the stuff they've left previously it just looks crap. There is a trig point along one of my local trails which someone has started leaving trinkets around, little plants in plant pots, necklaces, small photo's in photo frames. Just inconsiderate littering to everyone but them.

Del is right...I'll never understand it.

There's a route I took for the first time a couple of months ago near Durham - including a dead straight section of road that is at the national speed limit. About half way along that section there was a collection of flowers on the roadside, which I took as a bit of a warning to be extra careful, especially as at the time there was a strong cross wind. So I guess that on some occasions flowers can be helpful to others as well as being acts of remembrance.

Here in Ireland specialty seems to be roadside shrines or memorial stones .

A sign of how bad some of the drivers were or are I wonder.

Especially as so few observe the mobile use while driving .

I was just thinking of a drive I took many years ago, Dublin to cork ,country roads. The amount of shrines shocked me tbh.
Each to their own imo , not for me . A lot of folk seem to put a lot of effort into maintaining them and must get comfort I suppose.
However,the white bikes were a proper stark reminder and a public service imo.

So, has someone died on the bomb-holes at Cannock?

A few miles from here, 4 young people were killed in a car crash over 20 years ago - to this day, fresh flowers, card etc are placed there regularly by one of the parents who obviously finds it such a devastating loss. My wife and I have had numerous conversations over the years, but mainly that I'd hate to be remembered by a wooden cross and cellophane flowers strapped to a tree. I'd prefer to be remembered at a place that brings fond memories rather than one of great trauma.

They are a bit shit really ... do you really need a shrine that shows your lack of prowess at a particular activity?
I really, really hate roadside shrines ...
As for one at Cannock... anyone died ?

Cannock has bomb-holes???

I’m wondering whether someone has died who really enjoyed Cannock, so the flowers are left there in the same way as ashes are spread in a location loved by the deceased. It would surely be fairly common knowledge if someone had died there?

Remember me by leaving beer, wine, cake and pasties in my favourite ride spots. Not flowers, especially cheap supermarket ones still in the Tesco plastic wrappers..

In a forest it could be for someone who has killed themselves. A family member doing this leads to a particularly difficult grieving process.

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/black-country/search-called-after-body-found-16005049

https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/mental-health/

It’s something I don’t understand either but people grieve in different ways. For me though when I pass accident spots I’ve attended and seen these flowers year after year it has made it difficult to forget trauma that I want to blank out, I’ve even avoided taking certain routes where possible as it’s brought back some horrid memories.

I think most people leaving flowers are doing it in the abstract Drac, rather than because they were there and I can understand the upset it must cause those who had to cope with the reality of a sudden violent death.

I'm with the 'go somewhere that person loved and remember them' side of the argument but understand that everyone's different.

As an aside, my daughter was 10 before she found out that people aren't buried under the park benches with their names on.

I think most people leaving flowers are doing it in the abstract Drac, rather than because they were there and I can understand the upset it must cause those who had to cope with the reality of a sudden violent death.

Oh don't get me wrong I'm not judging them it's their grieving process but the occasional flashback it can cause can be astronomically shit at times.

A few years back wasn’t there a journalist who ‘accidentally’ dropped a bunch of flowers by a lamppost and within hours there were loads of bunches of flowers placed by people showing their respect for something or other.

As an aside, my daughter was 10 before she found out that people aren’t buried under the park benches with their names on.

I would quite like to be buried under a bench with my name on though 🙂

There's a bench in the local park that says something like "Come spend a while on Silky's bench", but better than that. Whatever the wording is, it seems particularly effective at suggesting what Silky's persona was like and makes me 'remember' him even though I never met him.