[Closed] why is my commute making me angry?

Dress in pink bib tights and blow kisses..
Smile.... It confuses people

Just let them got on with it and enjoy your ride. Most importantly, preserve yourself by remaining calm, and smile. They're only angry because they're jealous of you 🙂

Zone out, don't engage with the idiots.
smile at the nice people.

the monkey in the car - he will always be right in his own small mind. Pointing out his error is a waste of time.

I don't know whether the frequency of aggro is actually going up or if I've just become more sensitive to it and started noticing it more

Guess it just underlines your vulnerability and how so many people don't [i]seem[/i] to give a shit about your safety.

don't argue with idiots.

Report them to the police if they are a problem.

Dress in pink bib tights

who says I don't already 😉

Just let them got on with it and enjoy your ride. Most importantly, preserve yourself by remaining calm

This is the state I want to get back to, been there for the last 15-20 years...

the monkey in the car - he will always be right in his own small mind. Pointing out his error is a waste of time.

I know, I normally wouldn't have said anything, but today it got to me 🙁

dare I say it, but don't read all the crappy threads on't internet about road rage etc

I saw a bell-end in a white van move to block in a female cyclist as she was flitering through traffic and then swear at her
really annoyed I didnt take not of the company and reg and complain to them.

Is it just january blues for all?

mostly I blame clarkson

dare I say it, but don't read all the crappy threads on't internet about road rage etc

As others said ignore the shouty angry types, I blow them kisses, it's only when they actually endanger me that I get a bit nowty.

*there's a depressing number of members who die on the roads.

Zone out, don't engage with the idiots.
smile at the nice people.

This.

I have the odd angry little burst, but it doesn't last long (unless something particularly dangerous has been inflicted upon me) - just think, the alternative is to be in a shitty car with all the other shitty car drivers.

I listen to music when commuting, which definitely helps take my mind off the idiots.

Are you more stressed at work than before? I find that makes a difference as I've found myself stressing about stuff I need to do on the way in, and then struggling to switch off on the ride home. I changed to a less stressful job and now all is better.

Also definitely agree with smiling at the idiots to confuse them 🙂

To be fair most of the obituaries on CTC are for people who have passed away in their 80s after joining the Essex Section in 1934....

DONK - I reckon a cycling organisation is going to have it's fair share of people that die on the roads, just like a climbing organisation will have a fair few who die in the mountains. I don't think it's necessarily a reflection of how safe or unsafe something is, it's just a clustering of the stats (if you see what I mean).

OP - find a new route, that's what I did and it really helped. Still get some idiots, but it's been vastly reduced. Either thsat or get a big effing gun and go wild 😈

it's just a clustering of the stats

To be fair most of the obituaries on CTC are for people who have passed away in their 80s after joining the Essex Section in 1934....

Sorry, getting a bit OT

Don't let them pass their anger and frustration on to you. Smile, wave, enjoy the ride 🙂

amedias - Member

I've been commuting by bike pretty much forever, I do drive but rarely use the car as I find it frustrating and unnecessary, normally I enjoy my ride to work in the morning, it's short (<3 miles) and the roads aren't particularly bad, I often take the long route (10 - 20 miles) home just because I enjoy it but recently the ride *in* to work has been stressing me out, I've not altered my route, I've not altered my riding but I seem to be getting a lot more aggro from drivers over the last few weeks and it's really beginning to get on my nerves.

There has always been a large number of idiot drivers on the road - it's just these days there are an equal number of idiot cyclist on the road.

You were probably riding like most of us way before cycling became a lot more popular (Olympics, recession etc).

It's good that lots of people are riding, but conflict will massively increase due to genetic morons that either drive or cycle.

All my life I've seen some pretty shocking driving on the way to work and these days it's matched with equally shocking dicks on bikes.

The dickheads in the car who shout/beep/pass too close - stressed because they are fat with high blood pressure because they don't ride a bike to work! Laugh at them.

Hope you find your zen like state back.

I've changed my usual routes a bit, going for quieter areas and making the effort to leave early. Seems to help.
Planning routes on google and hitting the walk button also reveals the odd joined up bit you may have missed before.

Thanks guys, really think a change of route might be in order, even if just for a few weeks, just don't want to feel like I've been bullied off my normal route if that makes sense?

Going to take the long route home tonight, stop off at the seafront, smell the ocean and look out across the waves and try and try to regain my former calm 😀

Zone out, don't engage with the idiots.
smile at the nice people.

the monkey in the car - he will always be right in his own small mind. Pointing out his error is a waste of time.

Ride a penny farthing to work. Better than blowing kisses and dressing like a total fanny. Guaranteed to raise a smile as well.
2 miles eh! - easy peasy as well.
Think about the kudos at work when you rock up on one, folk will never look at you the same again. "Ordinary", not me mate!

jameso - Member

This again. And wear civvies. I ride the same section of roads through town in my roadie kit as well as sometimes in jeans or trackie bottoms, a down jacket and trainers with a beanie hat on. I notice less dumb passes and more general space as a bloke on bike rather than a 'cyclist'. Dress chav, people are scared of chavs )

I think you have a good point there, if I ride the same route on my road or CX bike in cycling gear I get way more agro than on my city type bike in more conventional gear.
I think its probably the idiots that find it frustrating your getting through the traffic quicker as a "cyclist", but if you look like joe public your just on a bike?

Is it because you keep reading STW where apparently getting really angry all the time is the best way to deal with things as a cyclist? 😉

I can remember a point about 5 years ago when I actually managed to flip my switch on this.

I was out riding in Surrey with a friend I'd not ridden with before. We were riding 2-abreast on an otherwise very quiet road, and a driver coming the other way (who had masses of room) honked and screamed at us to get into single file.

My friend was unflustered. As we rode on, he simply said [i]"we shall not allow these people to pollute our minds with anger"[/i].

I have been successfully repeating that to myself over the years since. It works well.

...... then when I circled back and pointed out it was a cyclepath and specifically designed to take you past this particular set of lights ......

that's your problem there, you need to let it go

@grum and llama, normally I would, and maybe I'm in the minority but I'm actually disappointed with myself for getting angry, I don't find it to be a constructive use of my time and normally very much like BigDummy's mate, but lately I find it's been creeping in and I want to put a stop to it.

I would try the riding in civvies but it's uncomfortable/impractical for the longer rides on the way home and I prefer the safety blanket of my reflective gear, even if it does nothing for the angry ones, it makes me more visible to the inattentive ones (I hope) and I want to make sure I'm doing as much as possible to be seen.

we shall not allow these people to pollute our minds with anger

Nice mantra 🙂

Good advice BigDummy. I do sometimes want to hurt the fools though, but it's not the answer.
Anyway, I'm off the bike with commute related broken arm at the mo- 100% rider error too.

Try some mindfulness/meditation.

BigDummy - Member
"we shall not allow these people to pollute our minds with anger"

Yeah I like that, nice and succint.

I would try the riding in civvies but it's uncomfortable/impractical for the longer rides on the way home and I prefer the safety blanket of my reflective gear,

yes defo find that chill pill, maybe take a slightly different route into work, a bit of variety might help take your mind off the plebs. they've always been there and always will be.

we shall not allow these [s]people[/s] posts to pollute our minds with anger

I just think there's something about the pro-roadie look that riles some

Drivers hate cyclists. They believe you shouldn't be on the road and if you get hurt it's your own fault because you shouldn't have been there in the first place. Unfortionately, I think that's the view of most drivers at the moment.

I've been finding commuting irritating lately due to what seems like an increase in the number of cyclist-hating bell-ends on the roads.

My own theory on it is that the number of cyclists in Leeds has increased, there are more cycle paths/lanes than there used to be, and drivers resent cyclists sailing past them when they are stuck in traffic. Whilst my cycle commute can be stressful, it's still nowhere near as stressful as sitting in a traffic jam, dealing with taxis cutting you up/pushing in, and an ever-burgeoning number of temporary traffic lights, so I just try and pity the drivers, thinking they are probably more miserable than I am.

I've been finding commuting irritating lately due to what seems like an increase in the number of cyclist-hating bell-ends on the roads.

My own theory on it is that the number of cyclists in Leeds has increased, there are more cycle paths/lanes than there used to be, and drivers resent cyclists sailing past them when they are stuck in traffic. Whilst my cycle commute can be stressful, it's still nowhere near as stressful as sitting in a traffic jam, dealing with taxis cutting you up/pushing in, and an ever-burgeoning number of temporary traffic lights, so I just try and pity the drivers, thinking they are probably more miserable than I am.

I've actually stopped commuting on my bike in Leeds because of the increased aggro / near misses / general feeling of vulnerability on the roads. Even walking into work now I feel very vulnerable as a pedestrian and it is not uncommon to see cars flying through red lights at crossings, dangerous overtaking in 30mph residential zones etc.

There seems to be a general angry / aggressive feeling in the UK at the moment. It's a shame people have to direct their anger and frustration at their fellow man instead of at the politicians who have screwed us backwards.

True. Less lycra, more 3/4 shorts or general outdoor trousers over lycra shorts, 'normal' colours, reflectives on bike and lid, bag? Daft as it is, I just think there's something about the pro-roadie look that riles some. Makes you less 'normal' in their eyes and bad driving is all about stressed reactions, snap decisions and not processing thought.

Ah, I'm already pretty much there then on the way in, 3/4 length outdoor shorts and dayglo jacket, no bag, use a rack on the commuter, I only swap to proper gear and stow the baggies for the longer ride home.

Get a child trailor instead of panniers or a back pack.

Maybe add a blonde pony tail.

remember your baggies, peaked helmet and camelbak and you're safe

Drivers hate cyclists. They believe you shouldn't be on the road and if you get hurt it's your own fault because you shouldn't have been there in the first place. Unfortionately, I think that's the view of most drivers at the moment.

Nah, don't agree, Some Drivers just have a strong dislike of cyclists, perhaps cyclists personify some perceived societal ill or another that bothers them.

But it is a minority of motorists, the vast majority of car drivers (who, like cyclists are also people) don't actually behave like dicks, I generally don't get abused by strangers most times I go out on a bike in public, conflict is the exception not the rule IME which is why it sticks in the mind when it does occur...

That said I did re-route my commute last summer due to feeling a bit [I]bullied[/I] like the OP describes, and felt bad for it at the time, like I'd voluntarily given up my right of way just because of a fear of shouty, angry, close passing goons, I've re-adopted the old route lately (due to flooding mostly) and TBH something has clicked and I'm not feeling anything like as harassed any longer... makes me wonder how much of it was in my mind.

January is generally a [I]"bad mood month"[/I] and we've just gone past "Blue Monday". Moods are generally low at the minute, and people act/respond accordingly, but it can only get better as the days get lighter and longer now, and February will mean people don't have to wait so long between paydays...

"Them and us" type threads (like the one I started yesterday 😳 ) don't really help, youtube footage of shouty fools and incidents, Various clarkson (and clarkson-esq) TV, paper and web articles all help build the perception of there being some sort of major conflict between motorists and cyclists, but I honestly beleive its a disproportionate picture that only serves to make things worse as we all take to the road with these ways of thinking now lodged in our minds.

"we shall not allow these people to pollute our minds with anger"

I like that statement/mantra a lot, and I shall adopt it.

Definitely choose a route that avoids as much conflict as possible. Half of my commute is offroad and I love that part. The road part is as good as I can make it, I know where the conflict points are and generally address these by being fairly dominant. As soon as I'm past the danger areas I allow control back to the drivers. It seems to work really well, never had complaints or abuse using this method, I'm hoping because most people can see why I behave that way and that I do get out of the way as soon as it's safe.

As for when abuse happens, nowadays I feel pity for them. It's always in a bizarre place like the OP states, riding along, not slowing anyone down but they feel the need to vent. They're in a car so they're having a far worse commute than me no matter what the weather is like.

"we shall not allow these people to pollute our minds with anger"

I like that statement/mantra a lot, and I shall adopt it.

I agree with Cookeaa, it is only a minority of motorists, but not only do they dislike cyclists they also dislike other drivers.

Basically they drive like they are entitled to be first everywhere, so tailgate, don't allow filtering from side streets, don't let people cross the road, don't let buses out, squeeze in to non-existent gaps in traffic etc annoying everyone around them.

Basically some people are just aggressive tossers. Wish we could all get retested every five/ten years (this is me speaking as a high mileage driver by the way!)

I had this a while ago. I did:
A) check how I was riding. I was starting to be a bit of a dick. Too much jumping up and down onto the pavement, red lights etc. I fixed the attitude and generally things are nicer.
B) bought a fixed gear. Somehow it is much less stressful to ride.

Agree with Jameso regards the civvies, its another reason I rarely wear the prescribed safety wear garb(treads carefully to avoid the usual) as it seperates you out as different from car drivers.

Theres also a lot in the press recently and the media industry seems to be about trolling up inflamatory stories.

I could recount loads of incident and over the years Ive reacted in everyway imaginable from dispair to anger and lots in between.

I was thinking on this mornings commute about my father who campaigned for years to get the speed reduced on the road through our village. It never happened and one day his car was struck by a speeding truck pushing him into a wall and the pitch fork he used to tend the cricket club through his back.
I expect in some twist of fate to make a lot of noise about road safety and suffer a similar comeupance.

So now I just try to get were am going without getting killed, much of human race is a bit thick, some of them are ****s and some are both.

And wear civvies. I ride the same section of roads through town in my roadie kit as well as sometimes in jeans or trackie bottoms, a down jacket and trainers with a beanie hat on. I notice less dumb passes and more general space as a bloke on bike rather than a 'cyclist'.

http://www.bath.ac.uk/news/2013/11/26/overtaking-cyclists/

Traveling by car at rush hour can be hopelessly slow and stressful due to terrible traffic and road conditions means someone is to blame. Could it be the thousands of other people in their largely empty four wheeled horseless carriages many of whom could have done their journey more cheaply and easily by other means. Clearly this is heresy it must be that fit, healthy chap in the s&m shorts and plastic hat who takes up a tiny amount of space and yet goes faster than them.

Caveat this is not aimed at those drivers who are not twits nor is it intended to exclude less healthy cyclists.

I found the same on the commute for my previous job. I ended up changing my route for a slightly longer, altogether more mellow pootle.

+1 another vote for changing your route. I now take a hillier 50 minute route on quiet lanes rather than my original 35 minute route shared with rat-race commuters. Much more relaxing.

It can be worth complaining. I felt badly cut up by a John Lewis van before Christmas and managed to remember the number and emailed them. After 6 weeks chasing by me I have a decent response; i.e. unreserved apology and confirmation that the bloke driving will be spoken to. Maybe a sop but makes me feel better.

I do think that all the bad stories / threads encourage a feeling of persecution when in reality I don't think any motorist wants to knock us off, if only because it may delay them.

OP I feel your pain. Harrassment and bullying is a normal part of cycling in the UK at the moment - so many people have an anecdote or several. It's become so normalised that the local authority training courses and John Franklin's cyclecraft all acknowledge that what underpins everything they teach you is protecting yourself from lousy driving. Pretty much everything they teach would be irrelevant if people were more careful, considerate and obeyed the law...

I had my own 'I'm sick of the ill-treatment' moment before xmas, just after we lost so many riders here in London. I ended up having a row with a bus driver who gave me a close pass on a road with two lanes (could have easily passed me with space). He told me it would be my own fault if he killed me.... you can't have an adult debate with someone like that really!

It's very rare I row with anyone, I'd just had enough of repeated crap treatment. What I learnt from it though was that I played a role in the conflict by responding to his ill-treatment. The commute didn't make me angry, I chose to respond to the bad treatment of others with anger...

I've decided now to let these things go and my riding is once more enjoyable. It's interesting talking to a roadie friend of mine from Brixton. As both a black man and a cyclist he faces more than his fair share of prejudice but he's totally chilled about it. He's learnt that he loses if he lets anger take hold of him.

A few things I would recommend:
1. Find yourself a mantra that reminds you the problem is theirs and not to let their anger infect you. Haters are always going to hate!
2. Read John Franklin's Cyclecraft
3. Book yourself on a local authority course. I've been riding for 36 years and did Level 2 on Saturday and learnt loads
4. Find a quieter route, it can work wonders

re riding in civvies

The research doesn't support you on this:

Also, that research doesn't show the average passing distance in each case, just that there's always a few idiots whatever you wear. That, we know )
On re-reading, it also says "Ian Walker previously used similar equipment to show that men and women are treated differently by passing motorists – a finding since confirmed by researchers in the USA and Taiwan"
And that does back up my perception that there may be a snap decision made by the driver based on who or what they see. If it varies for male/female riders I expect there's other variables too - old/young, civvie/pro-roadie etc?

+1 for bad cyclists and bad drivers - the bad drivers are just more dangerous and easier to see due to the big metal tent on wheels.

I work shifts and notice that drivers in my city are usually at their least clued up around 8am. A bit earlier or later makes all the difference to how much attention they seem to be paying.

People getting crap at work, trying to make up lost time from accidents/roadworks/the amusing 'safety conscious driver' forcing everyone behind them to do 15 mph for no good reason etc all add to things that lead to annoyed and less attentive road users (four wheeled and two!)

I know the little marked out cycle lanes can be frikkin annoying at times and potential door traps, but I guarantee it winds drivers up for no good reason when a proud lycra warrior insists on ignoring a cycle lane and 'taking the lane' instead.

Personally I put a lot of my good luck with low incidence of meeting narky drivers down to stuff like obeying traffic lights, not taking the piss weaving between traffic (ie, holding my place) and not cheekily hopping the kerb to take a pedestrian crossing or ignore a stop light.

Like hh45 above, I'm really not sure that all the negative stories and internet videos help. And at the time last year, I got really sick of drivers at work ranting about the program with the videos of the insane London cycle couriers...

A bit of live and let live goes a very long way.

To the OP, I will vary my route depending on time of day,and l don't have an especially busy town to ride through. Riding a bike is my time and changing the way I go from time to time is based not on the odd tube in a car,but on wanting to enjoy it(getting the odd hill in) as much as I can. Within this I recognize that there is going to be a short section that will always be rubbish. But view your commute as the sum of parts and the good outweighs the bad by a factor of x. Oh and dicks don't just drive vans,they also come in cars,buses,bikes and on foot. Sometimes they just congregate,increasing you chances of meeting them. My reaction is generally, to quote the penguins of Madagascar " smile and wave."

Its not just the UK.
I smile and wave, it's not even worth getting riled about. Ride sensibly, behave and be respectful if someone lets you out etc acknowledge that. I was gently nudged this morning by a fella eating his breakfast and texting while driving. Drifted into me. Not great but he got a massive fright. I saw it coming and didn;t have a lot of options other than stay where i was.

I'm in the same boat, been commuting for ages but currently finding it much less pleasurable. I' ve been on the end of too many shouty/ranty motorists, I've just noticed the number of close passes has increased. I live in a small village & have to negotiate a busy road to get into the city. Now it seems the number of close passes has risen and so has the number of cyclists. I'm guessing that drivers are getting fed up & trying to squeeze by (at 60!). Me, I'm generally pretty calm about most things but this is pissing me off.
I'm trying to keep cool about it all until it's dry enough to take the off-road mtb route again.
I do believe the increase in the numbers of folk commuting by bike has had an impact & that drivers are becoming less patient & less tolerant as they become increasingly frustrated by having to make allowance's for cyclists.

q

I think it's due to the weather, and I've noticed it when I drove a lot. I definitely noticed that there was a lot more aggro on the motorways towards the end of winter, as everyone was fed up of it being dark/raining/whatever - the mood lightened up as soon as spring sprung and almost made the commute bearable.

Riding home last night, straight out of my building young woman drives passed me with her lunch/tea in a takeaway carton on her lap, just dipping her right hand in to grab another mouthful of whatever it is and her phone wielded to her left hand.

[i]"I will not let them pollute my mind with anger etc"[/i]

Not going to rise to it, ignore her and carry on my merry way. Later on, bus lane, pulling away from the lights and whoosh white van man tear arses passed me using the bus lane to undertake an HGV that was a bit tardy pulling away, despite no headphones and my spidey senses set to 11 I didn't hear his approach due to all the other revving to pull away from the lights.
[i]
"I will not let them pollute my mind with anger"[/i]

Soon after I pass the van and don't respond just ride away, coz I hear bottling stuff up is a really good way of dealing with it.

Not getting all sweary is self control, not giving a fig about someone doing something naughty over there >>>>>> away from you I guess is possibly where a relaxed attitude comes in. Not getting pissed off when someone endangers you....how do you deal with that? You can keep your outward emotions bottled up and not say a word, good luck with your blood pressure, I'm not sure if it is possible to not [b]care[/b] about other idiots putting your life in danger tho.

Think I'll try to keep quiet about road "indiscretions" but when someone scares the shit out off me I shall still be venting a little steam.

Not getting pissed off when someone endangers you....how do you deal with that?

'Be like water' - Bruce Lee

Well said jameso.
A lot of the time the danger isn't intended: Most of them are just complete idiots.
Wishing I could follow the philosophy 🙂

Me too.. it's a challenge, but a better one than the futile rage caused by reacting against it all.

Well thanks for all your posts guys, interesting to hear that I'm not the alone in the 'was once calm, but then it all built up and got on top of me' camp.

Last night I left work, took as many back roads and cycle paths as possible to get me to the estuary trail, tucked into the drops and spun out the stress on a trip to the beach. I sat on the sea wall and listened to the waves and the wind for about 10mins, smelled the cold salty air and then had the most leisurely ride back home I've had in a while, met my girlfriend at the end of her run in town and spun gently home feeling a much calmer person than yesterday.

This morning I took the same route into work as normal, I counted two close passes, one guy overtook me and then tried to left hook me before realising what he was about to do, and I then saw [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/help-me-singletrackerworlders-youre-my-only-hope ]this chap[/url] weaving along the pavement to many pedestrian scowls as he forced them to stop or move out of his way.

But today I am not angry.

We will see what tomorrow brings...

I do believe that most of the time, 99% maybe, that the danger we feel isn't intended by drivers,

Me too.. it's a challenge, but a better one than the futile rage caused by reacting against it all

I'm not saying shouting and raving like a loon at car drivers is the best way forward but it's certainly understandable in some cases - IMO

It's understandable, of course. And our reaction is always fear and adrenaline/anger in a dangerous situation, purely natural. What I'm getting at is trying to rationalise it in a way that means we can deal with it without a building anger that has to be suppressed. Easier said than done! But I've been through the new road rider to angry road rider phase and I see my only option is to move on, or quit.

I think you're right that there's some positive in a driver seeing a reaction that means they may have done something wrong, however when we screw up we tend to have a reaction somewhere between defensive and in denial, so more often than not that situation will be relayed by the driver to friends or colleagues as 'one of those crazy cyclists' as their way of unburdening or absolving themselves. So the them vs us cycle continues and the end result may be neutral to our cause at best.

Jameso= maharishi of STW! 😆

'k off : )

What I'm getting at is trying to rationalise it in a way that means we can deal with it without a building anger that has to be suppressed.

What you're suggesting is possibly idealistic just don't think it's realistic.
if it works for you, chapeu