[Closed] Why do Specialized have such aggressive tyre names?

To appeal to women ? IGMC

Their main tyre designer is actually a huge Anglophile and a big fan of British soaps in particular.

Hence the tribute to his favourite character...
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The BBC should sue them.

Don't let a honeybadger slaughter your minions, it would upset the high rollers

Not just Spesh

WTB - Vigilante, Wolverine, Trail Boss

Better than Schwalbe though which sounds like some sort of quaint Garbage Pail Kids for cycling

Rocket Ron
Racing Ralph
Nobby Nic

The BBC should sue them.

😆

I hope Specialized would see the irony too after the Roubaix daftness.

And Maxxis to be fair

Aggressor
Ignitor
Medusa
Tomahawk

Not just Spesh

WTB - Vigilante, Wolverine, Trail Boss

Yeah... But they're not really murderous verbs are they?

Purgatory ??
not heaven and not hell but somewhere in between?

I dunno, Purgatory and Storm sums up the conditions the tyres excel in perfectly (the long British winter and deep mud respectively)!

I've no idea what Eskar is though.

Yeah... But they're not really murderous verbs are they?

WTB Bronson, or the kids version the Ian Brady

Yeah... But they're not really murderous verbs are they?

Your gripe was with how "bloody aggressive these tyre names are"

I strongly recommend you never look at the Cove Bikes website...

not heaven and not hell but somewhere in between?

Yeah - don't get that one. Isn't it a torturous permanent state of unrest for naughty Catholics?

I've no idea what Eskar is though.

An Esker/Eskar is a post-glacial feature, basically it's a sinuous gravel feature that used to be the bed of a stream that ran underneath the glacier. (I knew O-level geography would come in useful some day!)

Your gripe was with how "bloody aggressive these tyre names are"

True. You could argue a tomahawk isn't aggressive, merely a tool for inflicting harm by an aggressive user. 😉 It's also quite symbolic.

A butcher or slaughter is fairly explicit.

I strongly recommend you never look at the Cove Bikes website...

😆

I've owned three Coves already. 😉

WTB Bronson, or the kids version the Ian Brady

Yeap. That's pretty harsh!

tire names can be odd, Schwalbe surely take the prize for bizarre?

Racing Ralph, Rocket Ron, Dirty Dan, Nobby Nic, Magic Mary, Fat Albert, Thunder Burt, Furious Fred, Jumbo Jim, Smart Sam, Sammy Slick, Tough Tom, Rapid Rob, Crazy Bob, Jumping Jack, Mad Mike

WTF??

tire names can be odd, Schwalbe surely take the prize for bizarre?

Racing Ralph, Rocket Ron, Dirty Dan, Nobby Nic, Magic Mary, Fat Albert, Thunder Burt, Furious Fred, Jumbo Jim, Smart Sam, Sammy Slick, Tough Tom, Rapid Rob, Crazy Bob, Jumping Jack, Mad Mike

WTF??

Well Dirty Dan is on the forum...

Schwalbe though which sounds like some sort of quaint Garbage Pail Kids for cycling

😆

This might explain why - subliminally - I'm such a total Schwalbe fan boi. Part of me always wants to be more like Racing Ralph.

Hans Dampf effectively translates as Mr Damp (this is according to my German missus before someone starts squawking that would be Herr Dampf) which is A) lame and B) pretty stupid given how easily they clag up. That said I still like them

Hans Dampf means Jack of all trades, though the words alone don't signify this. german is very regional though and I don't think this is used across the country. Schwalbe are from somewhere near Köln, maybe it's a local thing.

Edit - doesn't dampf mean steam or steamy? Mm Mr Steamy

Dampfnudeln?

I'm with PMJ on this one, don't see the attraction of such aggressive names such as the Specialized ones.

TBH I quite like the slightly off the wall naming that Schwalbe use.

Just a shame I don't like the actual tyres.

I've got some Specialized Chunder tyres on one bike.

They're well sick...

Yeah, she just told me it means Mr Steam and gave me a withering look. I'm old, I forget stuff. However, she's from near Koln and says it definitely doesn't mean Jack of all trades. She also gave me another look although this one was more pitying. That said she's been over here for over 15 years, could be more recent slang. Dunno.

If you're going to shred your way through war zones like Ho Chi Minh, Baghdad and Berlin Wall, you need to make it sound like you mean business. 😉

Hmm, my gf is German, according to her hans dampf means a clumsy person, an oaf, though (from my translater app) as part of the phrase 'Hans Dampf in allen Gassen' means a handy guy to have around, so who wants an oaf when you need a handyman?

These Germans are crazy

I just told my one and she said she has heard that saying but she thought it related to someone who is a party animal. Literal translation is "Mr Steam in every alley" apparently. Doesn't have a clue does she? I knew I should have married a nice girl from Essex.

She has just looked it up and now concedes it does indeed mean a jack of all trades. She has admitted she's wrong! A historic moment in our household. I'm going to party like we just signed the Treaty of Versailles

The only thing we can talk from this is that indeed 'these Germans are crazy'. I use it as a daily excuse for not learning the language properly.

MTB tyre names have always been rubbish: e.g. Tioga Farmer John's Cousin

It's a bit like "Bob's your uncle" isn't it. The thing I like about it, is all the mental ways british people pronounce Hans Dampf. Honz Domp-pff.

Not all Specialized names are aggro, There's the likes of the Captain, Sausagewind, Hillbilly, named after their big brand ambassador guys. That must be a wee bit weird for Gwin. Someone told me Butcher is part of a kind of clever pun in a european language but can I remember what? Nope.

I like Schwable's stupid names in general. Thunder Burt was the winner of an online name contest. Though it's weird sometimes, with Muddy Mary not being a mud tyre, and Nobby Nics traditionally discarding all their knobs in about 5 rides. I remember an STW thread that asked what tyres for fruit preserves, obviously the Schwalbe Jam Master J.

Audience is a bunch of desk-jockey MAMILS who need to feel like they're tough and masculine...

Bit like the Mitsubishi Barbarian 'manly' pickup comes in black and silver rather than coming in pink with those headlamp eyelash things and being called the Mitsubishi Nancy!

If you're going to [s]shred your way through war zones like Ho Chi Minh, Baghdad and Berlin Wall[/s] join the caravan club you need to make it sound like you mean business.

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[img] http://mmoc.org.uk/mbimage.php?src=1239140371_338 [/img]

and all of them contain a Chemi-khazi

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Haha brilliant thread! I actually like schwalbes funny names, that and the fact they are colour neutral.. I'm looking forward to new models, rutting Rachel, and sideways Susan!

I recon there's an opening for a Dictator themed range of tyres.

29*2.5 Hugo on the front and a 29*2.2 Kim bringing up the rear. The pleasure in scrubbing those buggers down to the canvas would be enormous.

Some good candidates for a game of 'anal caravan' there maccruisekeen 😀

I suppose there has to be a line drawn, the Specialized "Can I borrow your lawnmower", or "Weekend in Bath" would be quite inoffensive and middle of the road. No doubt someone will come along with "Trailshagger" or "Gnar-Humper" after reading this thread.

I like the dinosaur names. Velociraptor!

Although Diplodocus sounds like a slow grippy tyre...

I always like the Specialized tire "Captain" named after the infamous Ned Overend

[img] http://www.retrobike.co.uk/forum/download/file.php?id=82506 [/img]

also known as "The Captain" "Deadly Nedly" and "The Lung"

Years ago I remember being next to him on the start line at a National XC race in the UK (Plymouth?).

When the race started he rode off and was never seen again despite the entire Pro and Expert field chasing after him like madmen.

'The Captain' indeed

Because someone, somewhere thinks it'll make you look cool.

Personally I'm waiting for a Mincing Margot and a Pootling Pete* to transform my Blue Pig into the Netherlands-destroying uberbike I need to tackle the hills** in my new hometown.

* this is liez

** now you know why

I like Camelbak names. The 'bloke's' ones are called things like M.U.L.E, SCORPION, PURSUIT and ROGUE, whereas the women's are called things like 'Aurora', 'L.U.X.E', Magic and Charm! 😆

I smell a STW feature possibility there...

Let's have a bit of honesty.

How about the Maxxis How Much?
Or the Bontrager Blue Route?
Schwalbe Tow Path?

Specialized Fat Boy anyone?

How about a Schwalbe Moist Mincer?

Schwalbe nobsldropoff ned

Specialized Fat Boy anyone?

Ah, but that was a very skinny complete slick, name after a race iirc, and not fat at all. I used to have them for commuting and got pedal strikes on the road.

Shirley these macho names are for schoolboys who watch Top Gear and have a cool wall.

Racing Ralph, Rocket Ron, Dirty Dan, Nobby Nic, Magic Mary, [b]F[/b]at [b]A[/b]lbert, [b]T[/b]hunder [b]B[/b]urt, Furious Fred, Jumbo Jim, Smart Sam, Sammy Slick, Tough Tom, Rapid Rob, [b]C[/b]razy [b]B[/b]ob, Jumping Jack, Mad Mike

does anyone else get a little twitch when they see the Schwalbe names that are not alliterative?

does anyone else get a little twitch when they see the Schwalbe names that are not alliterative?

Yes.

😳

If you're going to shred your way through war zones like Ho Chi Minh, Baghdad and Berlin Wall, you need to make it sound like you mean business.

Dampfnudeln?

She has just looked it up and now concedes it does indeed mean a jack of all trades. She has admitted she's wrong! A historic moment in our household. I'm going to party like we just signed the Treaty of Versailles

I recon there's an opening for a Dictator themed range of tyres.

29*2.5 Hugo on the front and a 29*2.2 Kim bringing up the rear. The pleasure in scrubbing those buggers down to the canvas would be enormous.

Coffee, meet keyboard.

😆

If you're going to [s]shred your way through war zones like Ho Chi Minh, Baghdad and Berlin Wall[/s] join the caravan club you need to make it sound like you mean business.

This is a common conversation on family roadtrips.

I'm looking forward to new models, rutting Rachel, and sideways Susan!

Designed for cheeky rides in closed parkland / regular dogging spots and fast straight line gravel trails, respectively?

Having spent the weekend playing around in the forest with a couple of Rubber Queens, I can't see what all the fuss is about.

Rusty Spanner - Member

Or the Bontrager Blue Route?

I did like seeing their special team issue at the EWS, the "Minion with the logos coloured in-5" I think it was called.

Then there was Danny Hart's proto Schwalbe, the Dirty Flytipper

Specialized have history as the Cannibal was out in the early 90's, maybe they should have stuck at Ground Control.

And don't forget the classic Tioga Physco.

Continental tyre names always disappoint, they are all a bit too literal and dull for instance the 'Trail King ProTection Apex' or the 'Trail King Sport'.

Continental tyre names always disappoint, they are all a bit too literal and dull for instance the 'Trail King ProTection Apex' or the 'Trail King Sport

they changed rubber queen as those suppressed Americans thought it was too gimpy!

What about Michelin then, at one point all tyres were Wilgrippers or was it "Wild'grippers" meaning that all online orders were like blind aunties christmas presents - never knowing what you would get until the box was open.

Continental tyre names always disappoint, they are all a bit too literal and dull for instance the 'Trail King ProTection Apex' or the 'Trail King Sport

Beat's Vapour/Vertical/Gravity/Explorer which bore no relation to what they were good at (the Continental Nothing).

I remember the days when the anser to "What tyres" was Panaracer Fire XC Pro 2.1, regardless of conditions, unless it was biblical mud in which case trailrakers.

they changed rubber queen as those suppressed Americans thought it was too gimpy!

Nah, it's because a rubber is US slang for a condom.

Bizarrely when I worked in the trade I was asked (along with a few others) by the marketing director of Conti's MTB programme whether Der Kaiser was too risky a name with reference to Germany's past, or if it would be taken in good humour.

Onza Octopus FTW!

specialized should bring back the fear control/master name.

Maybe the Evil Twins should be resurrected too?

specialized should bring back the fear control/master name.

I seem to recall the 'Control' moniker being the descriptor for the more trail / XC level tyres, hence Ground Control and Storm Control. The 'Master' crept in there somewhere too - I think to differentiate between front and rear.

Or maybe I'm just making it up.

Maybe the Evil Twins should be resurrected too?

Preferably in Umma Gumma.

UmmaGumma

Oh crap. PMJ and I are clearly mind-melding

Oh crap. PMJ and I are clearly mind-melding

I want to launch a range of scottish-specific tyres. The Nugget, for riding muddy rocks. The Zoomer, for muddy XC racing. The Screamer, for muddier XC racing- it's just the same as the Zoomer but you crash more. The Steamer for muddy #enduro trails. The Bam for muddy #enduro trails in Dunkeld. And the Rocket is, quote, "Malignant, petty, vengeful, sadistic, and utterly, utterly unstable". OK it's just a rebadged Hans Dampf.

Oh crap. PMJ and I are clearly mind-melding

😯

And the Rocket is, quote, "Malignant, petty, vengeful, sadistic, and utterly, utterly unstable". OK it's just a rebadged Hans Dampf.

😆

We're gonna need 36ers to fit that much text on them hahah!

Pinky, the word you were looking for is "arousing", not scary. HTH.

I recon there's an opening for a Dictator themed range of tyres.
29*2.5 Hugo on the front and a 29*2.2 Kim bringing up the rear. The pleasure in scrubbing those buggers down to the canvas would be enormous.

A bit of a tangent but my OHs niece (18months) has a set of bath toys- a dolphin, a turtle, a crab and a pelican.

They are known, respectively, as Adolph, Tito, Ceau?escu and Polican-Pot.

A rabbit arrived at a later date and was near instantly christened 'Rabbit Mugabe'.

I've just taken the Tioga Psycho 2s off my son's bike as they kept slipping round the rim and ripping the valve.

Don't get the Umma Gumma reference even though I bought the album the first week it was out.

I too liked the Camelbak names.
Hawg - Holds Alot of Water and Gear
Mule - Medium and Ultra Long Expeditions

A bit of a tangent but my OHs niece (18months) has a set of bath toys- a dolphin, a turtle, a crab and a pelican.

They are known, respectively, as Adolph, Tito, Ceau?escu and Polican-Pot.

A rabbit arrived at a later date and was near instantly christened 'Rabbit Mugabe'.

A friend's daughter's doll was used in a school nativity play and so the name 'Jesus' stuck when she got the doll back - it got a bit embarrassing having to take Jesus everywhere with them - getting upset because Jesus fell out of the pushchair somewhere in Tescos and so on. So it was decided that next Christmas 'Jesus' could go to live in the school as part of their nativity play kit and a new doll would be bought.

"What are you going to call your new doll?"
"John the Baptist"

Don't get the Umma Gumma reference even though I bought the album the first week it was out.

Great idea. But the lifespan wasn't all that, if memory serves.

http://www.wtb.com/blogs/wtb/9090459-throwback-thursdays-1986-wtb-designed-specialized-ground-control-tire

Specialized probably let their aggressive lawyers name their slightly less aggressive tyres.

I heard they're going to sue Christoph Sauser for using their trademark name