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Watch out for the Audi drivers, the Putraline exponents the grammar police?
Go directly to the ban bin do not pass the baby robins, do not collect a pizza oven.
Endlessly going round it circles* and nobody wins?
*on bikes, obvs.
*on road bikes, obvs.
FTFY
A thread you started on getting a speeding fine isn't going the way you wanted, go back 4 spaces.
You used the phrase 'it's a civil crime not a criminal one' on a thread about cheeky riding, go fwd 3 spaces.
Somebody's bummed yer dug, miss a turn.
You've complained about how the classifieds aren't as good any more, pay a charge or roll a 7.
You realise you don't actually like coffee or log burners and would rather ride a bike, immediately forfeit the game and go to bed without any pudding.
Your Brexit argument has been discredited. Throw a six and come back under another username and try again.
the Putraline exponents
WASTED!
NOOB!
End of level bosses in the vein of Kung Fu Master.
Level 1: Corrects you're grammer
Level 2: Wees in your shoes
Level 3: Is armed with frozen sausages
Level 4: Interferes with your dog
Level 5: Owns you with bombers
Level 6: Takes you to Centreparcs
Level 7: Louise
Throw the dice once then get bogged down by pedantic keyboard riders. Go and have a coffe next to my logburner and get on with life.
Like Monopoly with push bikes.
Who get's to own the most obscure, boutique, reassuringly expensive bikes for every bastardised discipline. A spare frame, double garage/garage/shed (instead of hotels and houses) full to the rafters with tyres, just in case. Solid gold tool collection in individual handcrafted wooden boxes.
Chance card: STW rinsed the stock and provided twelvty million star reviews all over the internet. 50% price increase ratcheting 25% every six months. Go back three spaces and pay £75 for a new front tyre, still too cheap though eh!
Insurance windfall collect £4000
In a fit of rage you throw your RS Reverb out of the car window on the motorway. Pay £370 for Fox Transfer
Wins legal case for RSI injury due to bleeding Shimano brakes before every ride collect £5000
Your shed/s burnt down, your stock pile of tyres is gone. Pay £1000 to CRC to replace.
I see it as a bit like the game of life, with a board shaped as a purity spiral. Rather than little plastic cars with pegs for family, you pick a little bike if choosing (29er, fat, gravel, etc.) and push little frozen sausages in it.
If you roll an even number, when you ask a simple question some wag replies and implies that you're asking the wrong question, you idiot.
It would have to be hideously complicated but like monopoly or maybe manoplay to get the bad puns. Definitely need more than four side on the board - bikes and gear, trails, sheds, life and living room, politics du jour, food and kitchen...
Some form of top trumps warm up to sort out who you are going to play as.
On the cards - That topic already has a thread, go back two places.