[Closed] What the HELL is this?! (a fantastic demonstration of how mad eBay is!)

"Brakes are not working I think they need a oil "

... and a brake

My guess is a teenager with rich parents who possibly err a little on the trusting and indulgent side of things. And have an impressive work shop somewhere...

'bout' is the new qualifier to all bike spec. My bikes have bout 9 gears. bout 26inch wheels.

only 'bout' 9 of his feedback are for sales.

He's currently mulling over a buy it now price on the Kona for me and 'will let me no 1st' if he is up for it 8)

The Commencal is my favourite - 'Zoom' fork lowers off some sack of shit BSO and left-handed XT chainset. I suspect this guy's typing is hampered by the straitjacket.

Can you get [s] LHD[/s] LSD mtb parts

FTFY and yes, yes it appears you can....

unklehomered - Member

why a granny ring?

You are wrong in the head.

The 'twin chain' system is baffling. 'It doesn't work' no shit.

I was lusting after the Commencal but I'm worried about chain retention so I'm thinking the Stab is the way to go. After all, it "work like normal bike chain system"

I reckon with a 29er on the back and a 24" up front just to steepen it up a touch the Stab could be an awesome enduro bike. I mean I know he says the "brakes don work" but I'm sure its just oil and pads and sh_t like the others

At least all the stems are slammed

I reckon it's Damien Hurst incognito, experimenting with a "mind-mess for MTBer"

This is definitely the best thread on STW at the moment. What about the magazine bidding on them and doing a review of them, it would make a brilliant article.

[img] [/img]

what kind of mind could come up with such a thing? hmm

~~ wavey lines wavey lines ~~

not sure which i love more right now..

sad part is there's probably some mad genius crying in a shed somewhere after having all his works of art nicked :/

Reminds me of rube-goldberg machines more than anything. superb.

They are amazing...how do you pedal the Kona with that contraption on the side if it? Admittedly, that's the least of your worries.

Would love to see what happened to the Commencal if you rode a drop on it. I can't believe people ar actually bidding on these...things!

I think they may actually be transformers. It's the only thing so far that seems half way plausible. Don't buy them. They'll get up in the night and start wandering around and blowing shit up.

I'm sure I've played this level of Little Big Planet

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]<

It's as though lunatic engineer who has never seen a bike, but has had one described to him briefly, has had a box of random parts delivered to his cell in the asylum and made their best approximation.

That or they are all odd stolen bikes remixed and plastered with stickers in an attempt to hide their identity. Still delivered in part form to the same guy in the asylum though for the build.

Nuts stuff and think too much American Chopper been watched.

They have to be stolen and parts swapped over or bodged surely?, otherwise there is thousands of £ sitting there, all in an unrideable state and who would do that to a bike?, certainly not anyone who actually rides. I've asked him if he has receipts or original bill of sale for them as i would not want to purchase a stolen bike - we'll see if he gets back to me.

If they are stolen he deserves to be zip tied to that commencal and made to ride down a flight of stairs without a helmet....I **** detest thieves and i feel the righteous right wing anger of the Daily Mail being channeled through my thought process as i type with thoughts of removing one finger for each stolen bike that's passed through his hands..........quick......browse the guardian website and drink camomile tea............Phew!.........

The weird thing is the fact that some of the engineering it pretty nicely-done.

Look at the pictures of under-the-bb on that Commencal. Some fairly ingenious mounting of a chain device on the wrong side - looks very clean. But then you'd have to be a complete moron to imagine that it would work. Truly mind-boggling.

... RexRoc YAMA
[url=[url= http://fstatic0.mtb-news.de/f/mx/zz/mxzzwwp1jyle/medium_1278661838267.jp g" target="_blank">http://fstatic0.mtb-news.de/f/mx/zz/mxzzwwp1jyle/medium_1278661838267.jp g"/> ?0[/img][/url]]

http://fotos.mtb-news.de/s/55035

I love the chain ^^ three colours, black, red and white all painted by hand to an extraordinary level of accuracy.

It is Art.

The commie is the most amazing thing ever.
The double crown made single crown forks are a work of utter madness. Tempted to buy one as a work of art

unklehomered - Member

why a granny ring?

I wouldn't fancy losing a pedal on the orange. One slip and your nuts are going to be mashed

The man has spoken on Oranges' Facebook page - and its a bit scary....

Andy Soulsby
They're my bikes, I'll build them how I want & I like them, isn't that what Biking's all about?

Only selling as I'm building a Santa Cruz v10 with pace rigid forks & singlespeed.

I love this guy - as it looks like he has normal bikes and races!!

Edit.....Right - toooo much wine - false alert!

I love how the poor wee front brake hose barely makes it past the wheel rim on the Commencal...

I think that bloke on the orange page owned up lower down that it actually wasn't him.
Shame really

This is definitely the best thread on STW at the moment. What about the magazine bidding on them and doing a review of them, it would make a brilliant article.

My single biggest regret right now is that I've only just found this thread! It's valentines night and my poor GF has just spent the last hour or so on her own, not receiving one iota of attention. In fact, she's probably gone to bed, I haven't checked! This thread is the best ever!

Anyway... I've had a moment of clarity, an epiphany if you will. This thread has done what no other thread I've ever seen on STW has done before. It has united the populous of the forum, and brought us together in its own mad insane way! I therefore propose not that someone should buy the bikes as art, but that we, the STW forumites, unite and buy the bikes for the greater good... I'll pledge £20 towards the cause, I'm sure that it'll only take maybe 100 of us in all each pledging the same, to own the most bonkers mad fleet anyone has ever seen! Then we can all get them on a timeshare basis. 3 days a year is all I'd need/want with them to remind me of just how mad some people are in the world. I think it's really the only sensible way forward for this thread to take!

Who's with me?

Right, that's it! I'm disabling my ebay account right now! There is no way on God's earth I can compete with er . . . those 😆 😆 😆

[i]shakes head[/i]

No wonder I never make any blinkin' money . . . I'm doin' it wrong 😥

What about the magazine bidding on them and doing a review of them, it would make a brilliant article.

This +1000000000000. And then interview the seller. Best. Article. Ever.

I'd resubscribe for that alone.

If these are made from stolen parts....the guy could go clean and go into modern art lol.

Classic.

They somehow all remind me of MBUK... 🙄

The multi coloured secondary drivetrain on the commie reminds me of one of those 'how things work' type displays in science museums, were each colour coded cog and coloured section of chain would have a different description on an information sheet. Its all somewhat fisher price buzz light year looking, I'd love to own it just for novelty.

I've saved all the photos for posterity, I'll host them here later. I'm scared we'll lose them

His/her item views must be through the roof!

I'm stunned : ) I didn't realise there was more than one..

Give the chap a job at Brooklyn Machine Works with a bag of spares from that Cannondale DH project with 3 chains and see what they come up with... totally inspired and barking mad. I like his style )

Don't see the fuss personally they're just bikes 😉

Call those downhill bikes... All wrong, too much wind resistance, what you need is this.

Tony Nunn, lefty and headshot service genius, with loads of cannondale swing arms, has been making a gravity bike.

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]
Any excuse to post this. Not much 'better' and it's a pro rider's bike.. as nuts as it is, it's someone's own and they have fun (in this case do utterly bonkers stuff) on it, that's all that matters (really!)

Pompey is just down the road from me...
I reckon for a few hundred quid I could be parading one of these bad boys up and down the prom.....

DrP

Any excuse to post this. Not much 'better' and it's a pro rider's bike

IS that Josh Benders bike?

I remember his old videos, Always along the lines of:

Here's a massive cliff I'm going to ride off it.

He used to wear 2 chest protectors and MX boots, The bike was probally pedaled 10 yards.

I didn't think there were that many stickers in the world. After every orange or banana he must have stuck that little sticker you get on them on his bike....in fairness though the orange is up to £500..

Anyone got a pic of the downhill bike that had a sort of motorbike seat. Think it had 2 seatposts and its what we were all going to be riding now.

I would love to get hold of all three bikes.

No, they must go to different buyers in distant parts of the country. Just in case they try to breed.

Zippy, you mean this?
http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/most-wanted-iconic-mountain-bikes/page/3#post-4691451

Scott octane.

[img] [/img]

IS that Josh Benders bike?

maccruiskeen - Member
[img] [/img]

He's in Portsmouth? Anyone want me to go and see if they are real/rideable?
I've just emailed my brother, we're goin test riding 😀

he's also selling a brand new Nissan 300ZX bumper....its unpainted as well so obviously he hasn't figured a way to attache it to any of the bikes and has run out of stickers...
[url= http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Nissan-300zx-Rear-Bumper-/00/s/NjcxWDY3MQ==/z/3swAAOxy-1lRHQDa/$(KGrHqR,!rIFD0wRCf-pBRHQDZ6Y1g~~60_58.JP G" target="_blank">http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Nissan-300zx-Rear-Bumper-/00/s/NjcxWDY3MQ==/z/3swAAOxy-1lRHQDa/$(KGrHqR,!rIFD0wRCf-pBRHQDZ6Y1g~~60_58.JP G"/> [/img][/url]

Go do it. Photos and video please

havent read all this so might have been mentioned but even Orange Bikes are featuring the patriot on their Facebook page.

Buy it Dez, and bring it to mine in June.....
60 south downs miles should be a breeze, given all the fancy gearing....

DrP

These "bikes" remind me of this:

http://www.darksidezoo.com/apokalypseII.html

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

etc.

These "bikes" remind me of this:

HOLY FRANKENSTEIN BALLS!!! 😯 😯 😯

STW better be making an article on this Whole thread!

Looks like them monsters roaming around the Trash City Field at Glasto!

I could not resist sending him a brief message;

Hello mate, just looking at the bikes you have for sale and wanted to ask a question.
What the hell were you smoking when you put those things together?

Thanks

Reply:

No I have not got it like that from America....an I think is made in England...to much money enough to buy a car an thnx mate

So yeah, interesting bloke.

Thing is, they're not that far away and I have a couple of hours spare on Saturday but I'm genuinely a bit afraid of meeting someone capable of that, I don't think they'd be impressed by my brand of humour (sort of know it all sarcasm popular round here).

From the "correspondence" I get the impression that English is not the vendor's first language. Would love to know the backstory to these...

Oooh - disk brake linked to chain rather than hub...
[img] [/img]

One thing relying on a chain to make you go...
....it's another hoping it will stop you!

DrP

^^^ WTF?!?!
looks like that disc caliper is bolted to a plastic backplate....
death is an inevitability!!

i had to have a look at his buying/selling history....
seems like he has sold quite a few random bike parts off....which could suggest that he has access to a lot of dubiously acquired bikes and sells off the bits he doesn't need...but then again he seems to be very active in the buying department so could it be he is buying random parts and just sticking them all together to make them work or not....

i think this will be his next project...
[url= http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3BZnpcg5gmA/T-eAAVrGF2I/AAAAAAAAAyc/zn4ioE18O1U/s1600/human-centipede_dancing.jp g" target="_blank">http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3BZnpcg5gmA/T-eAAVrGF2I/AAAAAAAAAyc/zn4ioE18O1U/s1600/human-centipede_dancing.jp g"/> [/img][/url]

Me: [i]What the hell? That's not a bike! What's the tank on the frame? Where do all the hoses go? Did you build this yourself? When was it bought?[/i]

Him: [i]On top of frame is call coil over fork is to drop a oil inside the fork made by FOX....Is not for sell is belong to my other fork works on both...the fork on the bike works without it[/i]

So I guess I won't be placing a bid if it means I don't get the tank of magic juice with the bike.

^^^ so not only is he selling death traps but the 'best' parts of them AKA the 'coil over tank' are not included?

RIP OFF MERCHANT!

I've just read all of this thread............this is how I feel-

[img] [/img]

After you ride one of these bikes, that is how you will LOOK!

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa aa a

"Condition:
Used: An item that has been previously used. The item may have some signs of cosmetic wear, but is[b] fully operational and functions as intended[/b]. This item may be a floor model or an item that has been returned to the seller after a period of use. See the seller’s listing for full details and description of any imperfections."

Um, I've met the seller...the bikes belong to a black guy we see every now and then when he tries to sell us parts. Showed me pictures of the bikes on his mobile phone months ago!

You've MET the guy?!? Spill the beans man, we need details!!!!!

Um, I've met the seller...the bikes belong [b]to a black guy[/b] we see every now and then when he tries to sell us parts. Showed me pictures of the bikes on his mobile phone months ago!

utterly bizarre bike, but i'm not sure what the colour of his skin has to do with it 😐

but i'm not sure what the colour of his skin has to do with it

It's a descriptive term. He could have said 'tall guy' or 'ginger guy' or 'nutty guy', and you'd have said nothing. 🙂

but what difference would the colour of his hair or height have to do with it either?

also, if he'd said white guy i would have also commented.... it just doesn't make any logical sense to mention the guys race, like that has a bearing on what's going on.

nutty guy would have made sense mind

It was clearly a typo. He meant 'Black gay' obviously 🙂

On a serious note - the bikes really are 'dark', I sort of understand the modifications and their intent.

The delivery however seems unhinged.

OKOKOKOK - moving on, how mad is he? Tell us more midnitedrive!!

but what difference would the colour of his hair or height have to do with it either?

It's a way of describing him. People do that, you know, describe people that is! FFS lighten up! 🙂

I *think* I've read this whole (epic) thread over the last few days, but forgive me if this has already been posted... our friends at CRC have got hold of it too. Can't help but feel their [url= http://www.chainreactionhub.com/latest-news/674-eight-bikes-on-ebay-that-made-us-go-what-the ]blog post[/url] has been inspired by STW...

There's a few more Franken-bikes on there, including his "Patriot", but none that really touch this chap's collection 😯

PeterPoddy - Member
It's a way of describing him. People do that, you know, describe people that is! FFS lighten up!

i'm fairly "light and breezy" this morning if truth be known... however, i stand by the statement that to mention the guys race is utterly and completely irrelevant and no bearing on the sentence he made in the slightest. i was confused, and remain stumped, to it's inclusion in the sentence... it's not like i have an axe to grind, or am screaming "racism"...

anyway, this is starting to go off topic...

thanks, rob: 36, white, brown hair, own teeth, sleepy. 😀

Can we agree on carbon based life form?

But all that aside, is he crazy? does he actualy ride them himself? (they do look VERY clean), is he a self confessed rider of the bouncy bicycle?

I learned a new word today

'Interrobang'

utterly bizarre bike, but i'm not sure what the colour of his skin has to do with it

..aaaaaand we're back at in normal STW. 🙄