What is your idea for a crazy bike event?

They are ruddy weird the Dutch!

the event format I thought looked fun was on here a while back - different MTB disciplines but you had to do them all on the same bike.  so trials, DH and XC for example

I like the idea of a form of bike-mounted jousting, using those massive cotton bud things they used to use on Gladiators, while taking hallucinogenic drugs

I think a Brompton cross town race - up and down stairs, lifts, a short train ride, lock and unlock, plus of course actual riding around cycle lanes and a 'diagonal across the square' technical XC section....

I like the idea of a form of bike-mounted jousting, using those massive cotton bud things they used to use on Gladiators, while taking hallucinogenic drugs

You should have been at my outdoor centre Christmas party in mid Wales in 1993... We had a bike, broom handle with boat fender tied on, plus a target in the shape of the boss holding a pair of mooring buoy's to aim for like a medieval quintain.
One of the kids bikes, down the corridor and into the dining room at speed....
Two bed mattresses on the end wall to stop...

The headwind cycling TT was cancelled sadly. Think it was due to the sea state next to the course rather than just too windy. 

Mate’s on his way to WEMBO 24 hour race right now, and to celebrate the decade since he last did it has chosen single speed. I know it’s not unusual, but it’s crazy enough for me.

I agree that  some kind of event that includes a DH race, an XC race, Trials and a hill climb all on the same bike over the course of a weekend (or day). Score everyone by places rather than combined times so that someone can’t absolutely smash out one of the runs but suck at the others and win. <br /><br />

Didn’t they used to run the uphill at the NEMBAs?
Same course as the downhill, same format, different direction.

A mate and I campaigned for a timed pie eating stage at (what was) the enduro nationals 10 or so years ago.

Spoke elimination Enduro.

Competitors repeat the same stage, but after every successful downhill run one spoke is cut out of each wheel. The last one to successfully complete a downhill run wins.

Or Wine elimination downhill...as above, but drink a glass of wine at the bottom of each run (spokes remain in wheels.

Cheap bike downhill. A top gear / sam hill type of event. Points won for speed and cheapness

something to do with beer obviously.

when i was growing up, there was a whitsuntide beer walk from our local working mans club.

7 mile walk, 8 pubs to visit and have a pint.   same bloke ( Ronnie Speight ) won it every year. proper fit bloke, played rugby into his late 40's.

anyway, a tough beer ride, not like the crap real ale thing in wales. a proper ride visiting proper pubs selling good ale.

i know a few good area's.

Hit the North.

Have a daft idea in a pub.

Sell 500 tickets.

Audax, but all the controlls are pubs.

Audax, but all the controlls are distilleries.

Cheese and wine mass start enduro. Like Enduro, but competitors are seeded based on the quality of their submission to the cheese and wine table at sign in the evening before.

Or Wine elimination downhill…as above, but drink a glass of wine at the bottom of each run (spokes remain in wheels.

Sounds like SSUK but with an uplift. Count me in.

"Unsupported, multidisciplinary mega-duro":

500-1000 mile course, with a special (timed) stage every 80-100 miles or so, racers can't have any extra assistance, kit or supplies other than water along the route, and food restocking at each special stage.

The special stages could be anything from a timed DH run to an XC loop or even a mini trials course and riders don't find out till they arrive at the special stage, so there's no knowing if you're on the right bike or not and/or if you're using the right tactics with sleep/camping etc.

It would be points based, participants would score based on overall finishing time/position but also placement in each special stage, points could weighted so fastest over the line could well not be the overall winner, the more difficult/niche a special stage, the more points it carries, especially if everyone turns up on a gravel bike and there's a trials stage.

The Hindu Kush gravity enduro epic.

Rides some of the gnarliest, virgin lines littered with 80's era Russian Landmines and Taliban IED's.

Pro enduro or DH season where you can't replace or rebuild any components, except tyres and perhaps an allowance for a certain number of crash damage during the race. Suspension servicing based on hours schedule as published on retail product.

Pro enduro or DH season where you can’t replace or rebuild any components, except tyres and perhaps an allowance for a certain number of crash damage during the race. Suspension servicing based on hours schedule as published on retail product.

Hammershmidt AXS?

Unknown distance/course road race. You're given a start location and time.

Turn up, the distance and finish location is a mystery. No team radios. Huge time bonuses and cash prizes at random intervals announced via roadside signage to promote proper racing rather than everyone sitting there in a bunch.

I want to see events like track cycling, but on MTBs on short or very short tracks.

- Pursuit
- Sprint
- Team time trial
- Eliminator (I did one of these at BBB it was brilliant)
- MTB crit

Another thing not specifically MTB related that I would absolutely love: You've heard of sprint triathlon, you've heard of super sprint triathlon, how about super-duper sprint triathlon? Where it's an actual sprint. 1 length of the pool, 500m bike and 200m run. Done as a knockout. It'd be glorious mayhem. You still have to do a transition (mandatory, no swimming in your shoes) but since there's only two or four of you in each heat someone holds your bike up like in track cycling so you can just go, rather than having to jog out of the transition.

Ebike tug o'war

It already exists but it's really hard to stage... endurance downhill is for me the pinnacle of mountain bike sport. Really fast guys who die after 3 hours, plodders like me that knock out dog slow runs consistently for 6 hours, people who can barely get down the course, absolute turbo maniacs who do it on hardtails and rigids... Bikes falling apart, humans falling apart, oh yeah and I think the first prize was a £100 voucher. It was amazing. We've only really got one place in the UK that can do it because you need a fast uplift and a suitable descent, but it'd be ideal for a European Champs of Assorted Idiots.

An all inclusive mtb race that lasts two weeks. It might not be the best rider that wins but the one who can still ride after 5 pints of stella and a chicken balti for the the 14th days in a row. 

My local club's Santa race can be a real spectacle, there's a running start with preference given to the ones with the best costumes. Nothing quite like seeing Rudolph overtaking Santa whilst sliding in the mud and ice. 

I've tried my best with www.ridetothesun.co.uk
100m overnighter, summer solstice
Chip shop stop
Bagpiper
Rave at a derelict pub
Free beer at sunrise
Free to enter!

Bike eating contest. Extra points for eating an eBike.

Something like the winter biathlon, but instead of skiing and shooting,it's cycling laps around a hilly CX type track and stopping at the top of each hill to fire a catapult at tin cans (30mtrs away).
There would also be extra points available for style through the obstacle and dance sections.

I agree that some kind of event that includes a DH race, an XC race, Trials and a hill climb all on the same bike over the course of a weekend (or day). Score everyone by places rather than combined times so that someone can’t absolutely smash out one of the runs but suck at the others and win.

This, but hold it on a glacier.

I like the idea of a form of bike-mounted jousting

I once went camping with Mrsstu's brother and his mates.
They had a bike jousting competition on the camping field.
You had to make your own jousting stick out of beer cans taped together and you were only allowed to use cans that you'd drunk that afternoon.
I did wander why they'd all been selecting their beer from the local shop based on the length and sturdiness of the cans.
Really surprise it didn't end in a trip to the local A and E the way the cans were ripping open on impact.

@Ton
Sounds like you'd enjoy the Bathams 9.
9 Bathams pubs over a 50 mile round ride.

Cheap bike downhill. A top gear / sam hill type of event. Points won for speed and cheapness<br /><br />

that sounds like the clunker classic. Top of dunkery beacon down to Horner. Never managed to do it but I think the rules were anything but a mountain bike.

It already exists but it’s really hard to stage… endurance downhill is for me the pinnacle of mountain bike sport.

Bourg St Maurice has a funicular railway at one end of the valley and a downhill track (or at least "general trails in a downhill direction" even if it's not a specific DH course).

The game was to get the funicular to the top then beat it back to the bottom. You had 8 minutes otherwise you'd miss the funicular so the run was called Black 8.

I think the most we managed was about 5 consecutive runs before we were all ****ed.

Brompton transcendental race. 3000 miles riding around the same block. why run when you can ride instead?

This Is Sheffield used to do some good ones.

Two Pint Time Trial. Neck a pint; 3 mileish XC sprint; neck another pint.

Triawfulon. Ride up and down a local hill; run a couple of miles, jump off a bridge into the river and swim for shore.

Megadeath. Mass start DH race but with a Le Mans style start. Down a pint at the bottom before you've finished.

There was also an XC race, with "artistic content" judging and a tagline of "its not the size of your budgie, its how you smuggle it"

For me - Endurance Enduro. Sod yer 4 or 5 stages - I'm only just getting warmed up on the last climb. How about 10?

I've also got an idea for a "Sheffduro" race - Timed runs of all the trails at Cannings, Greno, Parkwood but you have to ride between them. Current issue is that the "best" way to link them together is quite cheeky...

BSO derby.

Each competitor is given a boxed BSO.

Using only the tools provided in the box competitors must build the bike and proceed into a series of multidiscipline trials.

Twisted Enduro,

Timed downhills, timed uphills, timed trackstand, timed trials section, timed slalom, timed front wheel out n back in, etc

The wild places ride and shoot.
Choose half a dozen remote trails or scenic places only accessible by bike or foot.
You've a year to visit.
The winner is judged on thier photography and blog of the trips

I always thought some sort of top gear challenge would be fun. Everyone gets £100 to buy a bike, everyone then has to ride to a given location and complete a challenge. Everyone gets £20 to "improve" someone else's bike...