[Closed] The SNIP!

Unless it gets bodged a couple of weeks max. Some people are back up to full strength in a week or so.

Just take it very easy for the first day or so to give things a good start healing up.

sfb always claimed to have been riding within minutes of leaving the hospital.

mere mortals seem to leave it between 1 and 4 weeks.

my mate had to take longer off as he ended up with a scrotal abcess and they had to leave a hole in his sack for a month to let the pus drain out.

I was riding about 2 weeks after my snip.

2 weeks for me too, rocky doenhill etc. although sometimes have to be carefull when my 4 year old jumps on me from a great height!

Had it done a couple of years back 2 weeks
before back on the bike
hospital advised 4 but hey i've got balls of steel !!! 😆
just make sure you do absolutely nothing for the first few days after

Thanks for the advice - looks like not doing much for the first few days and then take it from there - 2 weeks seems to be the concensus.

salmond is knob though.

Is it a case of just asking your GP these days? Been thinking about it for a while.

yes and then a bit of a wait or paying a couple of hundred quid and having it done at your convenience

my mate had to take longer off as he ended up with a scrotal abcess and they had to leave a hole in his sack for a month to let the pus drain out.

*cries*
*crosses legs*
*cancels appointment*

2 weeks if everything goes OK, although I did rattle my goolies on the nose of the saddle after about 4 weeks and it hurt a lot.

my mate had to take longer off as he ended up with a scrotal abcess and they had to leave a hole in his sack for a month to let the pus drain out.

I went speed skating the night of mine and was fine, and again the day after and the day after and felt fine. ABout a week after I threw my leg over the bike and as soon as the brains in the bag touched the saddle I hit the roof!! Hurt a lot, I'd expect 2 weeks (for cycling) and everything else less.

So running might be okay after a few days?

+1.....I'm going to go to Marie Stopes, £375. Not actually looking fwd to it all that much.

[i]So running might be okay after a few days? [/i]

*winces*

I think you'll be looking for the least amount of man bits jiggling possible for a few days. Tight pants are very good.

Friend of mine had the snip a couple of years ago. He was then in London with work after a few days R&R. He was at Euston Tube station and suddenly blacked out and woke up on the platform floor with lots of people around him. Apparently someone had caught him right in the nadgers with their briefcase as he was walking along and he blacked out with the pain.

Oh how we laughed!

He had a few more days R&R after that. But, I shouldn't laugh...it'll be my turn in a next couple of years.

TBH there was nothing to it apart from the embarrassment of getting a trim off some bloke who looked like Richard Stilgoe and having your bits and bobs man handled by a serious sounding bloke wearing rubber gloves. The decommissioning itself isn’t too bad apart from a couple of painful tugs on your tubes. I was out and in the taxi home within an hour of them finishing. They offered me a brew and a sandwich but I was keen to GTF out of there. Just take it easy for a few days.

Just don't shave your pubes to harshly. Worst bit for me was the stubble rash afterwards.

Ask Houns for tips on shaving and general pubic topiary. He's quite the artiste, apparently. He says it makes his willy look bigger too.

I'm going to go to Marie Stopes, £375

tube station story - quality!

Yep, a couple of weeks.

I had it done a while back now, it doesnt hurt, it is just an uncomfortable feeling, more when they are feeling your plums looking for the tubes!

You only have to shave your balls, not everything. I spoke to the doctors on the wednesday and was then called back when i got home from the medical centre to have it done the following week, in out but dont shake it about.

Just don't shave your pubes to harshly. Worst bit for me was the stubble rash afterwards.

I wouldn't do them at all unless told to in advance. One of the surgical team will do it for you and only trim where required, even then it was only a bit off not the full Yul Brinner.

I wouldn't do them at all unless told to in advance

He used a beard trimmer. He didn't even take it down to the bone (so to speak).

3 days after mine I had a plumbing emergency which meant I had to man-handle a dishwasher. this was far from ideal, and I suspect led to my achey gonads for 6 months, and still very occasional discomfort when very physically tired from riding ( 12 months on now). strangely enough I cycled from 3 weeks after and the knackers were fine on the bike, lycra undershorts kept it all in check.

first time i ran up stairs with usual loose pants was an eye waterer, and continued for several months.

Stubble rash was deffo the worst bit as far as riding concerned, had mine done back in April but still not managed to supply "clear" samples yet,despite months of "trumpet polishing". I must be into 4 figures by now. I'm beginning to think the pipes have healed back together, or I've got extra plumbing down there or something. My wife's not impressed but I do have an impressive right forearm.

The worst bit is having to knock one out in the back of my van in the hospital car park because I can't do it at home and get to the hospital within the 2 hour recommended window.It doesn't seem to matter how far away I park from everyone else, there's always somebody who comes and parks right next to you to put you off your stride!

My next door neighbour works in the Path lab, but It'd be to excruciating, handing them a pot of jizz and asking if they could keep it warm and hand it in for me.

Arggh!

*rocks back and forth*

All of a sudden a couple of quid for a packet of wellies doesn't sound like a lot of hassle after all.

I got fixed about 9 weeks ago , NHS job for me .Had a 6 week wait from booking it , the op itself was nothing as mentioned above a couple of tugs on the tubes snip snip job done .They even gave me a free jockstrap 😆 . no need to shave unless you're really hairy
It was a bit sore the first few days and I was back in the saddle after 3 weeks ,for rocky DH stuff I waited a further 2 weeks. One of my stitches started to go manky after the first week so the doc cut it out 2 days later the other one started to go the same so I got a fresh stanley knife blade and did it myself.

2 months of pain for me and a black sac of infection .It was done by a woman who didnt give me enough to numb the pain .I assume she was a man hating lezzer

had mine done a few years back. Minor discomfort, no pain. For me the worst part is lying naked from the waist down on a table (except socks - good look!) while a nurse makes conversation with you at the same time as pulling your meat and 2 veg through a hole in a surgical sheet. And then painting them brown with antiseptic.

After this they can do anything as long as it's fast, and they never make eye contact again.

To answer the question - I got a minor infection in the wound which needed a scrub out and redressing after 2 weeks, then 2 weeks to heal after that. The nuts were fine by then, but a sweaty chammy isn't an ideal place to store an open wound. Unless you like having it infected and cleaned out again.

so I got a fresh stanley knife blade and did it myself.

ARGH...ARGH-ARGH-ARGH-ARGH...ARGHHHH!

Don't google 'Scrotal abcess'.

Please, don't ask why, just don't.

I need a hug now.....

I had the scalpel free vetsion, so no stitches. Fell walk 3 days later and riding from 4 days on. Worst of it was the stubble rash, so don't shave.

you know when your parents say "do what you like but don't do 'x'".

so you immediately run off and do 'x' to find out what the fuss was about?

google images and "scrotal abcess" is just such an occasion.

do listen to rusty-spanners warning rather than treating it as a challenge, please, your eyes will thank you.

Subble rash - just use Veet instead as the hair grows back with a smooth end on it, rather than a sharp pointy one. Just careful where you get it...

Guy went in too high on me. Tube unravelled and popped out the wound....Kept going back and being told it was weeping...which it was,just not what the doc thought. Finally saw the specialist and was invited back in 48hrs later. Bought my campervan with the settlement. But hey, [b]I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE[/b] 😈

Holy shit

I just googled scrotal abcess
😯

Holy shit

I just googled scrotal abcess

Are you mental?! Tha's like image googling Lorraine Kelly with safe search off! You just don't.

Bought my campervan with the settlement

I wish they'd messed mine up then, I could have done with a Saab 95 estate.

[i]Holy shit

I just googled scrotal abcess[/i]

I'm going to have nightmares 🙁

i drove home after having mine done, (wednesday) was back at work monday diggin holes in the ground.
i was careful lifting up high for a few weeks mind.

Just googled it 😯

Will never eat plum tomatoes and custard again!

1 week before a gentle run, 2 weeks off the bike. Small shaved area, and anaesthetic cream 1 hour before (if I remember correctly), so no pain at all until later (frozen peas in a tea towel etc.).

Worst bit was the smell of burning tubes as they sealed them off with the machine, and both the (attractive) nurse and doctor both being female.

All worth it though.

Told you so! 😯

About two days of 'man, just been kicked in the bollocks' feeling, a week of 'oi, be careful, sudden movements and running can lead to stitches being tugged' moments and back on bike/usual life in two weeks.
Worst bits: stubble growing back and pulling my own stitches out to ease the 'catching' feeling...oh, and the moment the new nurse left me flat out on trolley, but nekkid from the waist down and opened the curtain wide, leaving it so, allowing all the reception and waiting room a view of the last turkey in the shop...

Just like cheshirecat said......Male doctor, fit nurse etc....Took a copy of MBUK in with me, baerly got past the first page. Barely felt the anaesthetic needle, slight tssssss of burning flesh etc, no stiches cos its a 5mm cut, 1/2 later on my way home. a little discomfort later on and ran the dads race at kiddies sports day (the day after).. 😯

Off the bike roughly 4-5 days 😆

Well seeing as Mrs J is pregnant with my third little boy, I have been told I have to be gelded too 😯

I have said for years that I'd get it done but now it is on the cards I can honestly say I'm bricking it. A mate of mine is booked in this Thursday and we had a chat about it over the weekend. I suggested a space hopper race which didn't go down too well!
Anyone had it done while they were put under? <serious question>

I have been told I have to be gelded too

I'm booked in a week Friday, not to fussed to be fair, I have 4 tattoos and they hurt a lot more.

Anyone had it done while they were put under?

MTFU you big Susan! 😉 I've had more painful dental work.

If you have a local you'll be out and home much quicker.

Anyone had it done while they were put under? <serious question>

allthegear

I'm hoping you realise being 'gelded' is something VERY different???

Yes, but I have the same apprehension either way. I am somewhat attached to them 😀

I'm now thinking twice about the whole deal.

[i]Well seeing as Mrs J is pregnant with my third little boy, I have been told I have to be gelded too[/i]

Amateur.

Wait til she's in labour then suggest she has her tubes tied, Bish Bosh, job done.

I booked it while she was being stitched back together.

I have said for years that I'd get it done but [s]now it is on the cards[/s]after reading a few of these threads I can honestly say I'm bricking it

Thanks for all the advice. Have to say that the responses had me laughing and crying in equal measure. Still going through with it and will check in with the results. Thoughts of commuting on the underground brings tears to the eyes!

I think there is more risk from being put under than having someone grope around your scroat.

I need to pull my finger out and get myself knotted.

Have you suggested to your Mrs that she have a hysterectomy? It's a much less invasive surgery than a vasectomy.

adjust the thermostat so it shows a lower temp than its set to, keep turning the heating on full randomly and convince the good lady she's having hot flushes.

if she's being polite, cower in the corner and with a tear rolling down your cheek, whisper 'why are you shouting at me again?'

it wont be long before she's convinced she's having an early menopause and you can book her in for a hysterectomy.

Had mine done a couple of years ago. Bloody horrible. Can't remember what was worse, the anaesthetic injections not working when the female doctor made the incision, or that same doctor asking me to sign the disclosure form before the op, the part which read "A small minority of cases may result in permanent intense testicle pain"

Sorry if this is a bit controversial but I'm never having mine done. Sorry. I would not allow my missus to have her bits done. I'd rather abstain from sex if there was no other way.

hora why?

Is it a religious reason?

[i]I would not allow my missus to have her bits done[/i]

If I were your 'missus' I'd be fuming at a statement like that. How can you decide what she has done to her body?

I just find the snip-method as abit barbaric. I'd never have that done to me.

Couple of weeks.
I know of a chap who cycled home after his snip - turned in to Buster Gonads over night - very painfull!!!!!!!! (he should have known better - he was a Medical Consultant!!!!)

Didn't want to read this but couldn't stop myself.

🙁

I was 'done' a couple of years back. Sadly, no great stories to report - very simple and straightforward, 20 mins, snip snip, done. No pain, just a weird tugging feeling. I do second the need for extra tight pants for a day or two though - and the sack did go black! Back riding after a week though...

FWIW - I'd MUCH rather go through that than abstain...

I was booked in the same day as the dog. Luckily my wife manged to drop us of at the correct places.
The dog licked his better and was bouncing around the next day. I had a general and Im sure Mrs B snuck in and took a meat tenderizer to the old chap. I waddled around for a while, mine were sore and hot and I remember sitting down with baggies on and catching them badly 8O.
Tight pants, talc, and ibuprofen.
Oh and achy balls is a quite common side effect.

This thread is full of win. Win in the sense I'm laughing my balls off (See what I did there) at work.

Me and the Mrs signed the consent forms last night. 😯

Does your wife have to consent too before they'll do it?

[i]Does your wife have to consent too before they'll do it? [/i]

No, but if you're Hora's wife you'd need his permission for the female equivalent.

As I said above, mine was easy. However, mate had his done under a general anaesthetic. He had shaved beforehand, but woke up to find himself shaved from chest to knee, and he's the gorilla type. I suspect there's picture of this on a noticeboard somewhere. He was very relieved a few days later to find out that the aching and high temperature was proper flu rather than his bits.

Another friend passed out after getting a huge infection. He should have known better as a pharmacist.

having said all that, I have no regrets. Wish I'd had it done a few years before. The comment above about black (and purple) balls is dead on.

This would never happen in Spain or Mexico 😉

I'm so glad I'm never going to have to do this 🙂

You stay on the same team? 😛

BTW- no need for the snip, just pull out and AK47' your partner 8)