[Closed] That sinking realisation of your own idiocy. Lets have your examples

Didn't affect me as such, but I do remember that feeling when my mate took his bike out of his van, with the forks I'd just serviced for him, and I spotted the crown was back to front.

Turning up to a ride in Wales with only one pedal fitted (ride abandoned, went Chrismtas shopping instead)

Turning up to a ride in the Hope Valley and realising the front wheel was still at home (the lovely guys at 18 bikes knew us as regulars and loaned us a wheel, even changing rotor to the right size)

Similar - down the local pump track with my son, park up pull the bikes out the car. "Where's my front wheel?" I watched him carry it back into the garage while I was loading the car up and it just didn't register.
Not as bad as the time my parents drove me down to Southsea Skatepark and I forgot my skateboard. Last week that was :'-) (about 1976 really and still remember how dopey I felt)

More screaming realisation of my own stupidity, but finally got caught by the bike on roof bars / low height barrier nightmare a few weeks ago. Luckily the mega pot-holes under the barrier meant I was crawling at less than walking speed and got away relatively lightly, but still cost me a carbon wheel rim, bars and the Thule 598 bike carrier was totaled.

Seatpost and saddle left on the wall outside my house... discovered missing the next morning as we built up bikes to ride at Dalbeattie. Must have been over twenty years ago, but still plays on my mind. Dropper posts have saved us from that.

Always but you axles back in your frame/fork when removing a wheel. Always.

Myself and three friends at Milarrochy bay on Lomond. Tent is a huge affair, canvas. Come in a big bag, thick wooden poles separate.

Poles..... poles, where are the ****ing poles.... Oh Bollocks 😯 I was made to sleep under the canvas on the beach. They got the van.

Turning up to a ride in the Hope Valley and realising the front wheel was still at home (the lovely guys at 18 bikes knew us as regulars and loaned us a wheel, even changing rotor to the right size)

I was with you that day NBT and remember it well 😀

Out on a ride with a group, half way up a climb my rear shifter made a funny sort of noise and refused to, well, shift.

So, ignoring the warnings of my companions that it would be a bad idea, I decided to take the shifter apart. I mean what can go wrong there? It's not like there's loads of tiny bots and springs and stuff.

Flipped the bike over so it was on the bars/saddle, carefully put something under the shifter in case anything dropped out (didn't want to lose anything in the grass, see, clever), and proceeded to take the shifter apart. Once it was in pieces, someone made the point that I had, in fact, dismantled the working, front, shifter...

Lunch packaging on the car passenger seat, stop for fuel and chuck it in the garage bin. 100 miles down the road, where's my sunglasses gone. Bye bye £100 Oakleys, idiot!

I had, in fact, dismantled the working, front, shifter…

Gave me a LOL.

There was this one time I went to Wales for a riding weekend and left my lower headset bearing on the floor of my garage, having just swapped the fork over.

Still rode it and kept pace with the group on the descents. Steering felt a bit funny though.

I put the uppers of a pair of lyrics on the wrong way around one time and rode the bike on a shake-down ride. I'm not sure if this is possible to do on most forks, or even how I managed it, but it means riding with the fork raked backwards (and any adjustment knobs swapped over). Didn't notice what was wrong for a few miles.

I once wrote off two tubular tyres and cracked a rear rim in a CX race. Not necessarily stupid - anyone can case a rock, but when it's spray-painted neon yellow and you've gone purposefully off the racing line to hit it...

The first time on a camping holiday with a roof-box fitted. Went for a day trip with it still on and drove into a multi storey car park that was just a teeny bit too low! Had to do a full circuit of the car park with it scraping the car park roof.

In my youth (some time ago) putting in a bmx bottom bracket with a vice, managed to also squeeze both chainstays, putting a dent in each side of my brand new frame.
Needn’t have worried, S&M next gen dirt bike. Built like a tank.

Bleeding a brake and wondering why nothing is happening. That’ll be because the syringes are connected to different brakes.
I’ve done this more than once 🙄

I turned up to a ride having unloaded the bikes from a weekend away with mrs me, promptly reloaded my bike for a ride with the mates and driven there only to discover I'd reloaded my thru axled 29er frame and her qr rear 26inch wheels. Bugger.

I bought a set of brakes from Germany last year. Fitted the front brake first and cut the nice long hose down to the perfect length, bled and working perfectly. Got the left hand rear brake out of the box to see the very short hose fitted to it. Johnny Foreigner and their back to front brakes meant I had to order a replacement hose and also had the pain of trying to buy some fittings to put the old brakes back as well as the joy of threading the brake hose through the internal routing one more time when the hose arrived.

Arrived in Newtonmore after a 6 hour drive with bikes locked on the bike rack. No key. Had to borrow a hacksaw from the only shop open, spent half an hour cutting through chain, then had to buy a new lock in Aviemore the next day.
At least we had wheels/axles/seats etc and could ride at Laggan, burnside etc.!

Left a brand new pair of raichlle Murren boots (well, one days scrambling old) in the jacksonville car park below the Buachaille. Policemen from Glencoe village popped by to have a look as it was on his way home but they were gone.

I have many examples of my own idiocy. It hurts remembering them all!

@northwind anything you can think of....?

Wow.. remembering now, I teavelled to Scotland and realised about two hours into the drive to the ferry that I had no SPD shoes with me

I've got loads of bike related ones but yesterday I reversed my car into a lamp post.

I'm still pissed off about it. Haven't even added up the financial consequences yet.

That moment when the stubborn chainring bolt finally gives way and you realise you forgot to position the allen key with your knuckles pointing away from the chainring…

Stupidity with bikes:
I once drove 2 hours to Kielder forest to ride, only to find I'd not brought the bike's wheels.
I also once drove 2 hours to Necastleton forest only to realise that the little plug in one of the hayes reservoirs had been knocked out when putting the bike in the boot, allowing all the brake fluid to escape into the car.

With work:
I once mixed up an HR database schema and accidentally updated everyone in a NHS trust's prod AD environment with their home address and telephone number, rather than their work address and extension. Somehow I didn't end up on the front of Computer Weekly.

2 weeks after starting a job as junior IT administrator, a friend sent me an email. Unbeknownst to me, the mail server had no virus protection and the client computer's was not set to scan mail. 4 days it took to clean that up.

And today: I ticked one checkbox and accidentally provisioned 13069 user accounts in the customer's active directory. Thankfully, it was just in dev.

but yesterday I reversed my car into a lamp post

Did that with a concrete wall once. Wasn’t in the lightest of moods that day.

Also reversed a hire car into a bollard while my wife and the receptionist from the hotel were watching (and failing to alert me; my wife because she had faith that I was aware of it, the receptionist because she presumably wanted some entertainment). Unfortunately I’d turned down excess cover when collecting the car so this meant I was facing a large bill. Soured the holiday a bit; as it turned out, needlessly so, because when I got back I found I had excess cover on my travel policy anyway. Doh.

That moment when the stubborn chainring bolt finally gives way and you realise you forgot to position the allen key with your knuckles pointing away from the chainring…

I did exactly that a couple of weeks ago, it's only just about healed up now

I've left a thru-axle in a layby after the one time I did the Passportes du Soleil. I blame being absolutely jiggered because we were hauling to get to the end before all the lifts shut as I'd got us on the wrong chairlift about an hour before.  🙄 Double idiot.

Also, brake bleeding without a block in the caliper. Popped a piston out, took ages to realise while thinking 'these brakes take a surprisingly large volume of fluid!'

Packed up the car for a trip to FoD with the kids - their bikes in the car, mine on the roof. Thought I'd save some cash and instead of buying everyone lunch at the cafe, pop into Sainsburys and grab some sandwiches...central Cheltenham middle of the day, what can go wrong...10 minutes later there's just the remains of the rack hanging off the roof.

My daughter was just pleased I hadn't yet fitted her shotgun seat & it was safely inside.

I'd been working in Liverpool at the Uni and I had managed to wangle the afternoon free for a couple of laps of Gisburn on the way back North East, and get this it was dry and sunny unlike the three other times I had visited.

Feeling rather happy with myself I unloaded the bike from the van to remember that I'd been a good boy and cleaned the whole bike at home days before and fitted new brake pads.......at least I thought I had fitted them staring into the abyss of two empty....I can't even type.

Years ago on my XC hardtail with V-brakes (probs 2002) I was heading through South West Scotland working and visited Mabie, it was throwing it down from the heavens but I wasn't to be put off and turned to find that my waterproof was in fact my waterproof work 3/4 jacket. That was enough for me and so donning an oversize waterproof that literally brushed your ankles on the pedal strokes I took off through the woods like a dude.

Just this morning my good lady decided to take the dog out for a walk and locked herself in the porch, she hadn't took a key because I was home and standing in the shower listening to her yell through the letterbox. She then thought to herself thats ok the back door is open I can come back in and get the key only to find that yes the door was still locked and apparently her brain was somewhere else as well.

once left a nice set of M frames in the loos at Nant yr arian.

I've spent a good half hour on a stubborn BB with a breaker bar only to realize that I was tightening
done that more than once, but moreso if the bike is upside down!

I feel that picture can't be too far away now 🙂

Too many moments of idiocy to remember really, but one that does spring to mind was dumping the bikes in the heather a few years ago to hike up a Munro. I took the saddle and post with me to reduce the chance of the bike getting nicked and yes, you've guessed it, left them at the top when we stopped for a snack. Managed to get most the way down before realising and making the long trudge back up.

I've driven to Wales, Newcastleton and Dalbeatie only to have left the bike rack keys in the house on the other set of car keys.

I followed a Youtube video the first time I ever bled my SRAM brakes. I couldn't work out why the fluid wouldn't plunge from syringe on the lever through to the syringe on the calliper. It took me about 30 mins of swearing before I realised I was following a US video with the levers the wrong way round, I was trying to bleed back right lever and back brake.

More screaming realisation of my own stupidity, but finally got caught by the bike on roof bars / low height barrier nightmare a few weeks ago. Luckily the mega pot-holes under the barrier meant I was crawling at less than walking speed and got away relatively lightly, but still cost me a carbon wheel rim, bars and the Thule 598 bike carrier was totaled.

I’ve done this.
Twice.

More recently went away with wife’s ebike on roof and battery in the boot. Left key 225 miles away at home so she had no assistance the one time we went out together. Lucky the Kent coastal path is very flat. Shame about the headwind.

Setting up an all in one PC for my daughter. She had inherited it from her grandfather and I had set it up for him and used it many times at his place before we brought it home. Couldn't get the thing to switch on at all. Tried other devices in the socket, tried a different socket, changed the fuse on the plug, all okay. Logged in to a different PC to bring up the online manual. I'd been trying to power it up with the CD ROM eject button, not the on/off switch. Utter fud.

Years ago, on a mates snowboard trip I volunteered to drive the hired people carrier despite never having driven anything LHD before. We stopped at a Maccy D's in Bourg St Maurice and one of my pals asked if I wanted them to take over the driving, pointing out, "you were a bit close on the nearside going through that Peage, mate." I fatally replied with "Nah, I reckon I've got my eye in now."

Needless to say, I took the side out on a sturdy wooden width restrictor within ten minutes of setting off again.

I keep thinking I've left my water bottle at home on every bloody ride,only to realise I've left it on the bonnet....every single time

Got back to the van after a couple of laps of the Golfie at Innerleithen. Went to get the keys out and realised they were in my rucksack....that I’d left at the very top of the hill!

I also once drove 2 hours to Necastleton forest only to realise that the little plug in one of the hayes reservoirs had been knocked out when putting the bike in the boot, allowing all the brake fluid to escape into the car.

I have a similar story about the stupid plugs on Hayes brakes except this happened after my girlfriend and I flew to Vegas and drove to the Grand Canyon. Luckily only one plug fell out so she had one working brake for the ace singletrack right on the edge of the Canyon...

The couple of seconds between slipping with a small square nose file, and the pain arriving from me having punched it about a cm into the heel of my hand.

The couple of seconds between slipping with a small square nose file, and the pain arriving from me having punched it about a cm into the heel of my hand.

See also, when you cut your finger while chopping vegetables.

A couple of years ago after a cracking snow filled winters day hiking in the lakes I was driving all smiles back to Keswick on the A66 when I heard my Spot tracker fly off the roof of the van and into the road. I pulled straight into a handy layby and watched several vehicles missed it including a huge arctic. Just as I was about to reclaim it off the road another car came around the corner and flattened it! I haven't left my new one on the roof again..

I did the Manchester to Blackpool one year for charity. Missus and father in law dropped me off with my bike in Manchester then were going to meet me in Blackpool at the finish.

Getting all the stuff out of the car, noticed that my shoes and water were missing 🙁

Luckily the route goes right past my front door, so I had to cycle on SPD pedals in my trainers, with no water for about 12 miles. Quick F1 style pit stop to change shoes and grab water...

Glad it was only 12ish miles from Trafford Park to Leigh though!

At one of the Polaris in the lakes I woke up on Saturday to discover my bike had been nicked overnight. Drove to one of the shops in Ambleside and hired a bike for the weekend, took it apart put it in the car, drove back to the start put it back together only to find I'd left the front wheel in the car park, drove back found it was gone, sheepishly went to hire shop, bought a new one drove back to start in time to catch the last start time.

Expensive weekend that.

Arrived at Swinley for a bit of a ride (driven down for the day from Suffolk). Bike all there, drink and food present, shoes? Where are the shoes? It was an uncomfortable experience riding with trainers on egg-beaters!

Famously turned up for a weekend climbing, all the pro, slings, harness and shoes in the bag. Ropes, where are the ropes?

100 miles down the road, where’s my sunglasses gone. Bye bye £100 Oakleys, idiot!

You got off lightly. I left a £400+ pair of prescription RX Oakleys (the only pair with a particular type of mirrored lens that Oakley had made; they didn't come in a prescription version in that lens) in a van my mate had hired for a removal job. Assumed I'd just left them in his new place. Didn't think to ask him until a few days later. Obviously the hire company knew nothing about them... :'(

I feel that picture can’t be too far away now 🙂

What, this picture?

I once drove from then home in Newcastle to Mayhem in Sandwell, stopped to pick up a mate near Nottingham and found I'd left my wheels at home!

+1 for the roof box / multi storey carpark roof combo.i did a circuit with it crashing into every air duct..thinking 'what the heck is all that banging'

+1 for the Thu axle left at home, you only do that once, now it goes straight back in the fork

+1 for front wheel left at home, didn't get all the way to the trail that time...had a 'left the gas on' feeling and turned back, I knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what it was til I got home.

Phone on car roof when loading bikes up (why does that seem a good idea)

Had a friend who put his surfboard on the car roof and forgot to tie it down. It would have survived just coming off the roof...but the car behind...luckily no damage to cars or people

Turned up at a 50 mile Charity ride and had left my spd shoes at home. Luckily lived relatively close that I could drive home collect said shoes and get back to the start line in time. Luckily there were no speed cameras around...

Driven 70 odd miles to the start of a Ridgeway ride, went to the loo and as I walked back to the car the slow realisation that I'd left the keys to the padlock at home. New Kryptonite chain and lock. Ended up driving to Avebury to see the stones with the wife and the bike safely locked in the car. Spare key is now on the car keyring.

Many years ago some friends asked if I would put a picket fence around their front garden. I rocked up one Saturday morning in the van with all the posts, rails and uprights parked up on the grass and got cracking. Later that afternoon, fence finished and all tool back in the van I announced that I was finished and was off home only to realise I’d fenced my van in the garden. Fortunately there was, once the pickets and rails had been removed, a gap just big enough for me to drive the van through with just mm’s to spare. I can safely say I’ve never done this since!😀

Had a friend who put his surfboard on the car roof and forgot to tie it down. It would have survived just coming off the roof…but the car behind…luckily no damage to cars or people

I remember a ride once with the OP - up Hollingsworth Lake way i think? - where @binners got home, got out of the car and said "I'm sure I put two bikes on the rack before we set off"

He had.

Leaving my brand new nice cut/puncture resistant work gloves in the house when getting some wood delivered as I was rushing. Thought, naaa that will be fine.

Cue me trying to juggle too much and my hand slipping. Then ending up having to pull out a 20mm long toothpick thickness splinter that buried itself fully into my hand web going between my knuckles...

I will be wearing gloves in the future as it brought a tear to my eye pulling it out 😢

https://flic.kr/p/2kWTJfJ

Also me.

I was driving me and a few people to White Room. All nice and easily planned, me and a mate from the shire drove across with all our gear to pick up @maxtorque at his house in Northampton. We had some leisurely food and we're ready to set off for an easy drove down to the tunnel. Final checks bikes, kit, clothes, passport ... Ah shit!

Jump in the car, high tail it back to Shrewsbury pick up passport, high-speed all the way to the tunnel, made it with minutes to spare at the back end of the 2 hour window on the booking. Looking back from the car it was like something out of back to he future with flames down the tyre tracks. Not lived that one down.

er, i believe i casually joked "and of course we've all got our passports" at which mrhoppy went initally very quiet and then swore a lot!

Still setting off for the south of france by turning north up the M1 is character building right...... 😉

@joshvegas Finally 😀

Later that afternoon, fence finished and all tool back in the van I announced that I was finished and was off home only to realise I’d fenced my van in the garden.

This wins, surely.

@joshvegas Finally 😀

I had it all queued up as soon as I saw the thread waiting for some one to set it up...

I believe on one of the early mleh rides, treemagnet forgot his helmet, bought another at skyline cycles and then left that on the roof of his car never to be seen again.

Stopped off at Lagan Wolftrax on the way to Aviemore to get my stag weekend started. Had SPDs on the bike at the time. Forgot to take my shoes with me. Didn’t fancy pedalling around Lagan tottering on SPD pedals. The nice guys in the bike shop saved the day by lending me some flat pedals from the spares bin.

Once upon a time was eating chewing gum, spat remains out van window along with my teeth and didn't realise until twenty miles later.

Nothing bike related springs to mind. I have a very expensive prescription and had just bought a new pair of frames. On the train to Manchester after picking up said expensive specs in Huddersfield I read a book. As we pulled in to Victoria station I took off my three hour old glasses and put them on the table whilst I got ready to disembark. As I watched the train pulling away I realised what I’d done. No glasses for a month whilst I saved for a new pair.

I once locked myself out of my house when drunk. My lovely neighbour, who was a joiner, came out in the early hours and started dismantling the lock. My friend asked me if I’d checked my inside pocket. The keys were there so in celebration I immediately attempted to spin them around my finger and launched them down the drain that was about three feet from my door.

in celebration I immediately attempted to spin them around my finger and launched them down the drain that was about three feet from my door.

You live in a sitcom and I claim my five pounds.

This wins, surely.

I think that I went beyond idiocy into the next level of utter stupidity!!

Broke a chain earlier this year so flipped the bike over to mend it (not quick link) and was happy about repairing it until I realised my chain routing was rather unusual.

Drove 30 miles out to a time trial in the early 90's. Both bikes on the roof, but always had a small cable lock through, just in case the fork mount came loose. Got there, where is the bloody key ?

Pockets out, everything, then spotted the key had slid into the rain gutter (Mk2 Escort). Phew.

New job as a fresh-faced youngster.

A few weeks in they want to send me to L.A. to Do Important Stuff (aka: client demands bums on seats and all the older guys are bored to tears with schlepping out there).

Due to fly out very early Tuesday morning following a Bank Holiday Monday. Monday comes, and I'm packing my bag, quick check of all my bits and bobs and, oh, hold on, this passport has expired, hasn't it?

Ringing my boss up on BH Monday to deliver this news was quite uncomfortable, to say the least.

Sat hungover on Christmas Eve for over an hour  attempting to put the left pedal on to my daughters bike for Christmas swearing that they’d not threaded it correctly.

I vaguely wondered what it would feel like to point the jet wash at my finger.
In the split second it took my brain to activate I'd drilled a hole in my fingertip and partially inflated it.

I once bought a Citroen ZX privately. Drove away in it a realised they had left a car starting booster pack on the back seat. I kindly returned it to them before breaking down on the hard shoulder on the way home

This is a great thread. 🙂

Not bike-related but I glassed myself in the face once, if that counts?

I gave a friend a lift to Glentress once (from Lancaster). Met up and as she was loading her bike from her car into mine, she realised she'd left her wheels at home. No probs, she phoned a mate who only lived a couple of miles away to borrow his wheels and after a brief delay we were all sorted.

On the motorway heading up to GT and relating stories of things we'd lost/forgotten etc, I said I'd once turned up to a race with one shoe.

She went very quiet, looked at me and said "I've forgotten my shoes".

Had to stop in Peebles and she bought: new shoes, flat pedals and new disc rotors (the ones on the wheels she'd borrowed were the wrong size).
Drove out of GT at the end of the day having checked very carefully around the car for any missing bits, asked if she was sure she had everything. Absolutely.

Half way down the motorway she realised she'd left her helmet in the cafe. A very expensive trip out!

Went to meet a mate for a night ride at Hamsterley forest and just as I was getting there I'd remembered I'd left my lights on charge back in the office.

Luckily he had a cheap headtorch as an emergency backup that I was able to borrow. But it was about as bright as those old Eveready bike lights from the 80's.

In a previous role I was responsible for the forecasting of a chemical purchase, that I then gave to the purchasing team to place the orders for. It was a complex deal, we had to issue a 3 month rolling forecast of which the current month was converted to an order. M1 was flexible by +/- 10%, M2 by +/- 25% and M3 +/- 50%. As each month passed you could amend the forecast within the +/- but it also became that bit more fixed.

So it was complex, but not impossible.

Coupled to this, at various annual volumes we got a rebate on our purchase price.

Unfortunately I made an error 3 months out, didn't spot and correct the next month, so by M1 when I tried to up the volume the supplier was ready and refused to accept the increased forecast. We fell about 400kg short of a 1000Te break point and as a consequence missed an additional €0.1/kg rebate.

That's €100K for a simple calc error.

Boss shrugged his shoulders; it was a US company and he'd had a former life forecasting and supplying fuel to the USAF in the first Gulf War in Kuwait. He said in comparison to having to tell some officer that there wasn't enough fuel to be able to fly an air support mission to extract some troops..... he wasn't going to get overly stressed about it.

Pressing bearings in to the rocker link of my stumpy, With a threaded bar improvised press. They weren't seating so gave it a nip, still not so another nip and another....then noticed I wasn't tightening against the back of the bearing seat I was putting the new bearing in but the one on the other side of the rocker. Both bearing seats were now set a subtly different but nevertheless jaunty angles. Happily the new rocker came with bearings installed.

25 mile ride on Dartmoor several years ago, arrived and realised I’d left my brother’s saddle/seat post on the wall of my garden. He had mine and I spent a bloody long time standing up on the pedals.

Lesson learned.

Not as bad as some of these but:

1) punctured 15km into a 28km Lakes route on my fat bike, to realise I only had a narrow 26” tube in my rucksack. As much as you think it’ll fill the tube it didn’t.

2) punctured (a theme here) half way round Cragg Quarry, after doing all the climbing, at the furthest point from the car. Went to stick a tube in abs my pump that had been in the rucksack for years unused had rusted internally and didn’t work. It was getting dark and I had to walk all the way round the second half of Cragg, down the fun cross moors trail and through Cragg. My Nokia phone with the best battery life ever had died and my GF was getting worried. The right pedal pins smashed into my calf for most of the walk and my leg was full of holes when I got back to the car.
Not a great day.

Camping with some mates in Wales. All the bikes locked up together in the van.
Set off to ride up Cadair Idris, about 40 minutes from the campsite.
Arrive and start to get ready, go to get the bikes out. Yep, keys to the padlock are in my tent... 🙄

Lovely hot day in the lake District, running jump off torver jetty into coniston water. Realised too late that my week old -£250- varifocals are (or were) pushed up on the top of my head....

@Binners do you want me to see if your axle is still there? I’m Keswick based, PM the details if you like.

Tom

First time out the office on operations.

Spent 8weeks in a west African dictatorship getting a multi entry isa the only way you can..... Passport stuck in an office for weeks on end and you can't leave.

Get home.

Chuck everything in the wash

Pull out ...... PLOP passport hits the floor.

The thought of another 8 week trip was horrific.

Every single visa washed out. Except that one. ....

Very tense arrival but waved straight on through on a very dog eared passport.

Ended up traveling for 3 more years on that passport before the Dutch took interest in it and I had to get it changed.