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When you spy a random ball bearing on the garage floor and and don't know which of the 4 cup and cone wheels you recently serviced it came out of..
When you look at your new Ducati and have a coolant leak.
yep looking down and realising you have cup and cone hubs, hit's me every time
[i]When you spy a random ball bearing on the garage floor and [s]and don't know which of the 4 cup and cone wheels you recently serviced it came out of..[/s] wonder who's nicked the freezer [/i]
ftfy
Yup,men's health can be time consuming,but better safe than sorry .
When you snub your toe on a protrusion only to realise it's now pissing blood...
Being 20 mins into a journey to your ride destination only to remember that you left the front through axel on top of the workbench in the garage.
When you catch your scrotum in your zipper as your wet grundies are in your bag after wearing them only for an impromptu dip in a river.
this has been mine today
http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/superstar-10mm-qr-wont-fit-in-dropouts
realisation i probably won't be riding my new bike soon
When you drive 10 minutes to go for a sub-zero night ride, spend 10 minutes getting kitted up with lights etc and then finally realise you've brought 2 left gloves.....
[i]When you drive 10 minutes[/i]
ride from home next time 🙂
A mate of mine turned up for a ride - having left his front axel at home. Another brought what he thought were his SPD shoes, they were in fact his wife's SPD shoes 🙂
When you drive 10 minutesride from home next time
Fair point! 🙂
When you commit to a super booter/road gap and realise you're on the wrong bike 😯
When tightening up a bolt and you suddenly feel the resistance tail off as you strip the thread.
When you cut the carbon steerer on your forks with the headset preload in place.. just got away with it!
When you put the tire lever through the new tube just fitting to your road bike. 😥
When you pump the bike through a compression and your right shoulder dislocates and it turns out you weren't quite as far through rehab as you'd hoped 🙁
When that tubeless tire finally pops on after 40 minutes of wrestling and pumping, and realize it the rear tire is now on the front rim with the rotation arrow pointing the wrong way.
When you dig your lawn to turn it into a border and find a patio underneath, followed by looking on Google Earth and realising where your new pond is going also will have a patio under the grass.
When you dump clean up washings overboard only to realise you have just thrown the quick release block mechanism on the lifeboat davit that you were cleaning into the bloody Indian Ocean.
When that tubeless tire finally pops on after 40 minutes of wrestling and pumping, and realize it the rear tire is now on the front rim with the rotation arrow pointing the wrong way.
Genuine LOL 🙂 ,well done sir
Driving 40 minutes for a night ride then discovering you've left the batteries for your lights on the worktop in the kitchen
have to admit dday that made me laugh..
When you wake up Monday morning.
Driving from the South coast to Nant Yr Arian and finding your front axle is safely at home on the garage floor....
When you turn up for a night ride after work, get dressed, get the bike out the car, connect lights and then go to put on gloves only to realise that they are still at home. A 2 hour night ride at 0 degrees or pack it all up and go home.
When you slip and stick a knife through the sidewall of a new tyre you just put on the bike.
this was many yrs ago, but a cracker. Drove 20 mins or so to pick up a mate and then another hr to a planned long, big sky loop. He put his bike on roof beside mine and I put his kit bag in boot. Arrived later at said ride start point, unloaded, and discovered that he had been fettling bike and had removed and replaced cranks....but at 90 degrees rather than 180....not a lot we could do with a multitool 😈
[b]rocketman[/b]
When you commit to a super booter/road gap and realise you're on the wrong bike
Yep, last week!
[b]griffiths1000[/b]
When you put the tire lever through the new tube just fitting to your road bike.
About 50% of the time.
[b]milko9000[/b]
When you pump the bike through a compression and your right shoulder dislocates and it turns out you weren't quite as far through rehab as you'd hoped
Happened for about 3 months, also when in the shower or getting something high up in the kitchen or supermarket.
Had 'that' feeling this morning when I had to phone in sick at 4am. 3 weeks off getting the "12 months without sickness" £100 bonus 👿
When you've just let one of these slip out of your hand in the company canteen...
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It was surprisingly loud...
[img] 
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[i]in the company canteen[/i]
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I'm high class don't you know...
When the inner race only knocks out of a stuck bearing you're trying to get out a frame leaving only the outer race and no direct access to the back of it...
arriving at the high street paying for all day parking and then relasiing your bike has no chain
next time my rear mech snapped about half way up
When you open your wallet and realise the cashback you should've taken from the 'Notes out' slot at the self service checkout is not there.
Eliot the uplift driver at Inners told me a cracker a few weeks ago...
A bunch of guys drove up from Manchester to Inners for the uplift. When they got there they discovered they had left the keys for the bike racks back in Manchester. They asked Elliot for help and he suggested they go to a local farm and see if the farmer could cut the racks and get the bikes free. They headed off to the farm then reappeared an hour or so after with the bikes free. They went to sign on to the uplift...and discovered they'd actually booked on for Ae rather than Inners...and Inners was full 😆
vermillion - MemberWhen you open your wallet and realise the cashback you should've taken from the 'Notes out' slot at the self service checkout is not there.
Yup, done that one too.. luckily it was only £10 and was in ASDA so someone poor got the money who needed it more than me 🙂
That awful realisation....
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Non organic? Can you imagine?
I too spent forty minute trying to forcibly persuade a tubeless tyre onto a rim, followed by several more minutes attempting to inflate said tyre whil;e screaming "stay blown up you ****!" at it...
...only to discover that the bloody directional bloody arrows were pointing the wrong bloody way.
I actually contemplated rebuilding the wheel to fix it.
Gettin your all shiney shiney new box fresh full susser built and ready to go, taking it for a shakedown up and down the street, checking brakes, shifting, errr, brakes, shifting,...riding position n that(?). Then deciding as a test to show it some RDNEZZ SKLZ and endo on to a step...only to land on the rear mech. Then admtting to this on a public forum.
vermillion - Member
When you open your wallet and realise the cashback you should've taken from the 'Notes out' slot at the self service checkout is not there.
Yup, done that one too.. luckily it was only £10 and was in ASDA so someone poor got the money who needed it more than me
It's definitely a flawed system,apparently,there's a drawer full of unclaimed money in our local Asda
Only 30 minute drive away but felt a million miles, left my seatpost leant up against my bay window.
iainc
removed and replaced cranks....but at 90 degrees rather than 180
Haha, done that too while hurriedly putting my bike back together for a two hour commute. Didn't notice until I set off 🙂
When you climb into your sleeping bag on a cold winters night in The Peaks to find it's actually your young sons' 'junior' 2-3 season bag not your 3-4 season bag.
When making turkey stock for Christmas lunch, drain the giblets and vegetables through a colander, letting the liquid pour down the sink...
Driving 150 miles from Yorkshire to mid Wales for a weekends bikepacking, and realising the only shoes you have with you are bright red croc (sorry) wellies that are 2 sizes too big! 👿
Having arrived at a Ski resort I got about changing. I put my leg in the trousers and pull the trousers up.. That "Bollocks!" feelings when you realise you packed your 12 year old sisters trousers.
(Same colour and brand, just different size )
Whn you drive from Edinburgh to Laggan for the start of your stag weekend, get bikes off roof, get changed, look for your SPD shoes to find that they are not there...
My OH and I had both entered a duathlon. About 3 hours drive away.
Midway up the motorway I noticed that the key for the lock I’d used to attach the bikes to the rack had fallen off my keyring. Took a diversion to find various cutting implements and stood in a garden centre carpark hacking away until we freed the bikes.
Restarted the journey. Got to the accommodation we’d book to find that they had no record of the booking (their mistake rather than ours as I genuinely had booked and for the right weekend too) and as it was a quiet weekend in early December they’d decided to shut and weren’t there. So, having phoned them to find this out we had to sit in the car waiting for them to drive over, turn the heating on and let us in.
We then unloaded the car and my OH realised that he didn’t have any running shoes with him. Having waited to be let into the accommodation it was now well past 6pm and all the local shops were shut and not re-opening until after the race started on Sunday morning.
At the furthest possible point of your ride on a rocky and slippery decent in a frozen January a pedal spontaneously and irreparably departs your bike whilst remaining attached to the bottom of your shoes, allowing you to find out just how little traction an spd gives on icy limestone and forcing you to pedal one legged 15 miles back to the car.
At the furthest possible point of your ride on a rocky and slippery decent in a frozen January a pedal spontaneously and irreparably departs your bike whilst remaining attached to the bottom of your shoes, allowing you to find out just how little traction an spd gives on icy limestone and forcing you to pedal one legged 15 miles back to the car.
I managed that with some CB's. Clipped intt he pedal I could slide the pedal back onto the axle to at least give the other leg a rest while coastsing on fireroad.
I was collecting a friend from 45mins away to go for a ride. He had pedals, shoes and helmet but was borrowing a bike from me.
I drove for 30 mins and realised I had forgotten a pedal spanner so went home to get one. I turned up at his an hour late only to find that his pedals were the same as mine anyway.
Got ready to ride this out the door (yes I know about the rear mech cable loop - it had got pulled through from the front).
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Oh, I turned up for a ride without a disk on my newly rebuilt front wheel.
When you've finished bleeding a brake and pull the lever a few times with no resistance, and find you forgot to put the spacer between the pistons! 😳
Watching your wheel accelerate away from you as it leaves your dropouts mid jump.
Hoovering, to earn brownie points with the missus and realise the sole of your shoes have oil on from cleaning the bike earlier. Beige carpet too.
in the car having covered most of the reasonable distance to Burghley horse trials, a present to my girlfriend, she says "so where are the tickets" *mucho awkward silence* "*$%*! *""%!!! %*&"
Cue best WRC driver impression to meet my dad half way after he went and grabbed them. He was bought plenty of beer for compensation.
Driving 70 miles to ride in the Peaks just before Xmas. Starting the first steep climb and the cassette slips leading to a comedy attempted reverse vault over the saddle to dismount. The nose of the saddle catches in the crotch of the waterproof trousers and opens them up from knee to knee.
I managed to get away with this one by not using the lowest gear and putting a pair of Lycra undershorts over the trousers as a substitute crotch. I got one or two weird looks from other people out and about, but the ride wasn't ruined.
Whilst dabbing some touch up paint onto my bike frame I leaned my head to look at something a bit more closely. The open paint bottle also tipped with me and half emptied over the frame, forks, wheel etc.
These are coming back to me thick and fast now!
Also spraying isopropyl alcohol onto a brake caliper, but spraying it from the underside whilst looking to make sure it went where I wanted it. You know the rest, but it ended up with a frantic search for an eye bath and two very red eyes.
Today. Got a Boardman road bike that has SRAM gears. So to down shift you pull the leavers to the rear and then across - not just force the leavers straight across resulting in horrible shiffting? Only had the bike a year ......
My favourite one involves a lad I knew at Uni. His parents had bought a near derelict house that he was meant to do up whilst living in it with two of his mates who paid reduced rent in return for living in a dump and helping out with the decoration.
Anyway, this lad (who later got first in his MSc at Cambridge) decided he was going to replace a carpet. He painstakingly measured the room so he could find a roll-end just the right size. He had to cadge a lift off of someone else to go and get it.
On getting it back to the house he thinks of a brilliant idea to make cutting it easy. He takes the existing carpet out and uses it as a template to draw around on the back of the new carpet. He then cuts it perfectly to shape only to realise just as he finishes that he has drawn around the old carpet the correct way up onto the back of the new one and ended up with a perfect mirror image of what he wanted. The room was not perfectly rectangular, either........
Last year the club headed up to Cathkin for a blast,after I kitted up I retrieved the bike from inside the car only to discover I had left the front wheel sitting in the driveway oh how I laughed
When you get home from work realising I've left my apron on the workbench with my knives and I'm working in a different location tomorrow, ah well clean hands tomorrow night 😆
Years ago, sitting at a t junction in the car, sun out but roads still wet, I didn't notice the 20 foot long puddle on the main road in front of me, until a lorry came by. I looked like I'd been in the shower with my clothes on.
Last year, 15 miles from home, the nut holding my saddle on at the clamp sheared. I had to pedal standing up for the last 15 miles with the odd rest on the crossbar.
also first night ride on a new built Nicolai, ripped the rear mech and hanger clean off
When one of your best mates knocks you off your brand new mt 09 tracer outside the dealers, his fault not yours
When you ride your road bike with carbon sole shoes to St Annes where you are to meet up with your wife and kids who have driven there, them having brought you some clothes so you can have a walk on the front and go for lunch. Finding that your offspring has forgotten to pack some shoes that it is possible to walk in, and only being able to find a shop that sells tartan slippers.
Ohh my eldest did chuckle from 10 yards behind me on the prom
wwaswas » I turned up for a ride without a disk on my newly rebuilt front wheel.
🙂
But did you ride or bottle it...?
When you send a friend to an auction to bid on your behalf but at the last minute realise that you can actually get there yourself . So you turn up but can't see your mate anywhere so when the industrial chiller cabinet that you were after comes up you bid for it and as it's obvious that he isn't there you bid until there is just you and a woman left in , the bidding goes up massively and eventually she gives up . After that you find out that she is your friends new girlfriend and as he couldn't get there he sent her along instead with instructions to get the chiller at all costs for you .
I went home, fixed it and spent an hour and a half riding round the woods trying to find everyone else 🙂
Getting a phone call at work to tell you that your tubeless tyre has exploded off the rim in the hot conservatory, spraying stan's tyre milk all over your bike and the room. Oh and the bang having given wife and visitors heart failure.
Also
Cross threading the nut on the bottom of your fork damper - £90
Over-tightening and snapping the cantilever brake boss on your pace forks (in about 1996)
When you're torquing that rotor/pannier/mudguard/bottlecage bolt and you feel it go from cracking tight to soft as shite
When you have a brand new Ti frameset and carbon fork.
Rushing to get it built up, dog barking at you, small kids distracting you, wife moaning about messing with bikes. In my haste i forgot to account for any spacers and just a quick measure up. Whips out hacksaw.. nice job.
Oh.. crap... the brand new steerer is too short.
Luckily.. Mike Burrows fixed it but not before a near breakdown.
When the newly formatted disc falls onto the floor just before you commence a transplant. It rattled as I shook it gently. Oh well just as well we had a spare..It needed formatting and an OS putting on it like the broken one had.
I replaced my rear wheel.
Took off tyre, moved cassette over, changed disk across. Spent over an hour trying to get tubeless tyre to seat.
Realise I have put tyre back on old wheel.
Cry.