[Closed] Style tips for the trails

Yaawwwwnnnnnnnn....

Thanks for reading this and happy biking all!

This is the only bit I read, I feel underserving of your thanks 🙁

Bikerfox is among us!

[b]Graphic designer[/b]
- IQ in 99th percentile
- [b]PC User (Windows)[/b]
- Hate geeky T-shirts
- Will never wear Converse sneaks
- Drive VW Polo

Don't spend any money on the bike and buy a Mac.

Has pussywillow learnt to type?

I strategically place a rolled up inner tube down the front of my Lycra so that all the ladies assume my lack of trail skills are adequately compensated by my tripod-esque physique.

1) Some information about me:
- Graphic designer
- IQ in 99th percentile
- PC User (Windows)
- Hate geeky T-shirts
- Will never wear Converse sneaks
- Drive VW Polo
- I have another log in

I fix for you, troll boy.

Style tips here.

The coolest people don't know or care that they're cool.
I don't think or care that I'm cool.
I think I'll always be cooler than you therefore. 🙄

singlespeedstu - thanks for posting that was funny! 🙂

I am thinking that maybe many people will not quite understand this post and what I meant. Maybe I should remove it from the forum? Is that possible?

Dear God,

What a waste of a thread

I never realised it was a fashion parade!

I do however love ripping past bike riders who simply look like they have the best cloths, best bike etc. dressed on my old gear from Decathlon and my not so manly Camelbak on my old hardtail.

Maybe I should remove it from the forum? Is that possible?

Nope you have 15 minutes to edit a post after that you can't do anything, we also tend not to delete posts unless they are against forum rules.

Welcome to the forum.

Nope you have 15 minutes to edit a post after that you can't do anything, we also tend not to delete posts unless they are against forum rules.

Welcome to the forum.

thank you, Drac. I might have structured my question poorly. It seems like most folk did not quite understand what I meant here.

I will just leave it alone and hope it falls away 🙂

Hee hee! 😆

Waste of internets.

Skids every corner = very cool.

So what's your usual forum name then, kukonaya..?

I will just leave it alone and hope it falls away

Trollollollollollol!

And just in case serious, you sound about as interesting as dishwater, so cool aint gonna happen - and seriously, when did you ever see a mountainbiker looking cool? We all look a bit daft to the rest of the world!

Everyone knows you need a Mark Weir style moustache to look cool on the trails.

[img] [/img]

99th percentile???? .... Yeh righto!

Not a hugely intelligent post is it?

If you're trying to achieve the STW look, this should help a little bit maybe..?

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

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Well, it has certainly become clear to me that I have structured my question poorly and I would love to remove/alter some pieces if I could. 🙁

I will try my best to clear a few things up.

1) My image is very important to me. I like to plan my wardrobe and there is a certain style of clothing and accessories I like.
I do not see how this is strange?
People care about what their bikes look like and ask for advice on here re the color of grip tape, what color spray job would look best, etc...
But when I ask for advice regarding clothing and accessories on the trail I am suddenly a troll 🙁

2) I hope I can be a valuable member of this forum. I have never been a member of any other bike forum and I have only been mountain biking for about 6 months now.
I wanted to ask my question on this forum in particular because I realise that it is predominantly british and it is no secret that the British and most other continental western europeans are far more clued in when it comes to style and appearance than perhaps say American riders. Again, not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but that is my opinion. There are exceptions of course.

3) Re my IQ. Fair enough that was stupid and I should not have put that in my post. I am no genius, but I am fairly intelligent. The reason I put that in there was because I genuinely felt that its an important factor in what style people like to portray. I work in marketing, and it is no secret that as IQ lowers, the affection towards big branded decals and graphics will increase. That might sound arrogant to sum but this is really marketing basics and most on here wouldknow what I am talking about 🙂 May I also add that if I was a Brit, my IQ would not be in the 99th percentile at all. My country's IQ avg is around 87 I believe. I am an ugly dude, that's for sure. I have a horrible face and I accept it. I'm fairly smart though 🙂

4) Sometimes I see people on the trails and something about them just looks good. Like maybe the shirt/trousers combo. Or a cool camelbak alternative. Or a nice retro helmet, etc..

Anyways, I do feel like a bt of a mug now but whatcha gonna do!? 😳

this is quite bold and fetching
[img] http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSJ8HWQLwOGtJ1CXe5Xex7ZMTS9t5bI48rYZElCxt_Hf147UNDl45RcWwh1 [/img]

Please be Fred

Please be Fred

Please be Fred

Please be Fred

http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/hypothetical-frame-and-wheel-weight-question#post-5202007 back again?

You're good...............go-on...post a pic of yourself so we can all [s] laugh[/s] offer advice, I dare you...in fact i double dare you.

Pro-grade trolling right there. Hats off. 🙂

Great thread 😀

OP - just emulate this guy

[img] [/img]

I am an ugly dude, that's for sure. I have a horrible face and I accept it

You mean like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screw driver?

I will just leave it alone and hope it falls away

I think the chances of that happening are very slim.

I can sell you a big bag of Steeze, £20 PPG ok?
Address in profile.

Daaarrrlllliiinnnggggggggggg you look marvelous, work it girlfriend.

If you really wanted to know what is "cool" you would never ask on here, we're all too old to care.
Go buy yourself an MBR or MBUK, that where all the "cool cats" hang out

HEY! I'm not to old to care, I just [i]don't[/i] care!

This could be troll thread of the year

This could be troll thread of the year

If it is, then that's quite the sad state of affairs.

bum bags are in this year, espicially neon ones.

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likewise neon socks with some sensible footwear is what you need, something like this would suit you down to the ground kukonaya.

[img] [/img]

If I had to sum the OP up, it would have to be...

Trying too hard - and failing!

[disclaimer]I have never been accused of being cool or trendy - and I'm very glad of this fact[\disclaimer]

bum bags are in this year, especially neon ones

"fanny packs" to all those stateside style gurus

This year the Enduro look is "in."

So make sure you have a fullface with normal sunglasses or a Openface lid with goggles, bumbag/fannypack, bottle on your bike, slim fit baggy shorts that are slightly too short so you get a nice **** gap betwixt kneepad and short.

You want to have a look at the front of MBUK for some pointers:
massively exagerate your riding position,
gurn like a twonk,
make sure everyone observing you has their head at 45 degrees so you look more 'EXTREME'.

When discussing your extreme awesomeness in the carpark do it really loud so others can hear you (careful parking in prime locations, or next to other groups of cars as you arrive will make this much easier later on.)

Another one would be don't actually bother riding (why would you? its clearly not what you're there for - also you might scratch you bike, or get it dirty). Get to the trail centre, do the usual 60 minutes of visibly adjusting your bike and spraying it with half a dozen special product you buy, so it's 'just totally rad', then ride out on the trail, cut through to the exit, wait a bit, and then sprint out of the exit, skid to a halt by your car and then pant a lot, fiddle with your phone (stopping the strava you weren't running), and then nod with self satisified show of 'besting your time', a small fist pump can be added for good effect here.

Funniest thread I have seen in ages...

What the hell has happened to our biking world when people are more concerned with how they look than how they can ride...

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Really? Dammit, that's me screwed then. And it was all going so well....

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper.

Yeah everyone knows you wear lycra shorts OVER baggies.

Anybody who wears lycra shorts UNDER baggies is a no-hoper

You should try a lacy thong, it makes one feel very sexy

I like that someone who made such an awful first impression works in 'marketing', and considers themselves to be really clever. Failure to properly research and understand the target demographic, resulting in negative brand association and audience backlash.
Based on this I would not hire you.

I would advise you put "Bill hicks marketing" into youtube though...

Thread of the year potential.

A fashion guru advised me that shell suits are coming into trail fashion. 🙄

What is it with those long ,short socks?

Here you go:

From 1:57 should do it.

from research conducted at 24:12 at the weekend; it seems like colour matching baggies and an AM style jersey is very cool, People rocking this were clearly showing it off for as long as possible with 2 hour lap times. Those in lycra - especially coloured shorts were obviously embarrassed as they were diving into the woods - it must have been to hide their shame that they were going round in 30 mins.

Coolness is like love, if you go looking for it you ain't never going to find it

Now that's funny

Bumbags went out of fashion?

Yeah everyone knows you wear lycra shorts OVER baggies.

I wear baggies over my baggies.

You just never know who may be sneaking a glance at your penis.

carbon crocs are the way to go, height of all fashion. If you don't wear these you might as well pack up and go home.

A kilt with hairy legs is cooler than penguin p**s 🙂

Strange thread, I have never insulted anyone on this thread, yet I am getting insulted left right and center from people that do not even know me 😕

I am not a good mountain biker, I am very unfit, still, and one of slowest riders on trails where I ride.

I still dot get what's wrong with trying to look good. We all make decisions based on how society will see us when we decide on clothing and accessories.
Are you all to tell me that when you buy clothes you give ZERO thought as to how it might look to others and what it says of you.

Suddenly trying to look good is a sin.

Please continue to insult me if it will make you all feel good about yourselves. 😐

[s]ok thanks we will[/s]
if you're serious, then just wear whatever is comfortable and practical, no-one cares what you're wearing, just having a good time is the most important thing and it all gets covered in crud anyway.

Hows about just wear what the hell you want. Style is individual if you think you look cool then so be it. After all your clothes will get wrecked anyway so there isn't really any need to buy the latest gear.

If you fancy wearing a plain t shirt and shorts that's fine. If you fancy wearing lycra then that's entirely up to you. Personally I just put stuff on thats comfortable and relatively hard wearing. Graphic Design and IQ has nothing to do with anything.

I'm sorry but you have lined yourself up for all these comments. Hook, line and sinker. Just wear what you want.

kukonaya - where are you from?

If you're not British (which I kinda got from a brief scan of this thread) you've probably realised by now that it's a very sarcastic culture here, exacerbated by internet forums.

You've got to have thick skin to post here.

Good luck.

Listen kukonaya - the truth is posted above, just the last 3 or so....

Just go and ride your bike, wear what you like. We can't agree on what's cool, and also the users of this site, well, they're a diverse bunch....

As for what's cool [i]right now[/i]- I guess the best way to know is to watch the current videos of "Stars" riding, or flick through some mags - perhaps read a few and see which magazine's style is closest to your own, then pick up some of their Fresh Goods.

But I really wouldn't bother.

I think the issue here is that for most people it is just about riding bikes, not about looking good. If you were new to the sport and asking on here for riding tips, rather that style (!) tips you would have had a lot more joy.

That said, you do come across as a troll for the fact that you appear to be asking questions that are polar opposite to a lot of people's point of view, and will almost certainly prompt a (negative) reaction. As such, I'm sure that many (including myself to a degree) won't believe that you are actually for real.

Hope that helps.

You should have checked [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/so-what-do-people-on-hear-look-like ]this [/url]thread out first, you'd have saved yourself some pain 🙂

I'm trying to bring back 70s style by copying what I used to wear myself:

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Is that one of those invisible panniers you're leaning on there, Dez?

Are you all to tell me that when you buy clothes you give ZERO thought as to how it might look to others and what it says of you.

Cheep + fits + robust = buy

I've orange, green, yellow, red, lilac, and silver bikes, ****ed if I'm going to buy co-ordinating wardrobes for each!

Listen kukonaya - the truth is posted above, just the last 3 or so....

Just go and ride your bike, wear what you like. We can't agree on what's cool, and also the users of this site, well, they're a diverse bunch....

As for what's cool right now- I guess the best way to know is to watch the current videos of "Stars" riding, or flick through some mags - perhaps read a few and see which magazine's style is closest to your own, then pick up some of their Fresh Goods.

But I really wouldn't bother.

thanks!

Full on tour Tan going on there Dez, nice 🙂

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Surprised nobody's pointed a newb at [url= http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/ ]The Rules[/url] - sure there's some bits about clothing in there.

All made to be broken of course, except 5 & 9. And 12.

Yup - if it fits well, and is cheap, then that'll do. If a nice colour can be had for no more money then i'll go for that. If not then i'll take any colour/design usually.

This probably explains why I think freebee event jerseys are a good thing...

kukonaya - where are you from?

If you're not British (which I kinda got from a brief scan of this thread) you've probably realised by now that it's a very sarcastic culture here, exacerbated by internet forums.

You've got to have thick skin to post here.

Good luck.

Not british 🙂 I ride mostly around Naganohara in Gunma, but I live in Shibukawa. I am 50% Japanese but I did not grow up here, I have been living here for about 3 years now.

thanks!

kukonaya - any pictures of the places/trails you ride? Maybe if you set the scene we'll dole out the style tips!

Post a pic of what you wear normally, I'm sure someone will love to point out what you can change!