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...going to announced after I have walked the dog.
Please come back at 8pm, ideally in a tux and with a bottle of wine, or at least with tuc biscuits and a mug of tea.
Laters
C
This is more gripping than the X-Factor final!! 🙄
😡
Right, Ladies and Gentlemen, place yer bets please!
So let me get this straight, I have to penetrate a geeky penguin with a bottle of wine and some crackers whilst supping a cuppa?
you're demands are becoming more and more challenging Heir Bikemonger but I shall attempt to summit this mountain even if it is a slightly more greeazy, noisy and fishy objective this time.
wife!! prepare the chariot, gather up the vino and don't spare the biscuits!!!
we're off to Birdland!!
Don't bet on me, I never win anything 😉
Don't bet on me, I never win anything
Is that the winning slogan?
is it:
Stay Single and Bring Your Kids up the same way?
If you would like to get your drinks and return to your seats, I will be back with a fine single malt and the finalists.
This has proved a very popular context with many fine entries, and indeed many votes, over 55% of single speeders (with good knees) has cast a vote.
So without further todo....
... in THIRD place with 4 whole votes we.....
long dramatic who wants to be a millionaire style pause...
... and then a bit more...
is "thumbs are for clits - not shifters".... well done me.
looks around nervously, looks under table...
gulps back sparkling water, adjusts collar
goes to the bathroom...
In second place with 8 votes we have....
" By heck No Rear Mech" well done crispy bacon. (the way bacon should be)
Whooo hooo
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In first place, and winner of this occassional international eurovision sticker contest, is....
....the man who's work will adorn 1,000 top tube this year.... it's....
... a great pleasure to declare the overall grand delux sticker champion.....
2nd place = first looser!
😉
Mr Nutt with "Nothing Changes"....
congratulations that man
Email me and the prize will be on its way.
On edge of my seat....
the word is loser
2nd place = first loser!
'err Thanks Pete ...... 😥
WILD APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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*stage dive*
Yay!
(Runs up to MrNutt with autograph book, plots 'kiss-an-tell' story to sell to News of the World...)
or should that be muff......(er yeh)
First pictures of Mr Nutt on the news that he had won the great SS Sticker competition ...
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'I don't like it'
****ing nutt, OH MY ****ING GOD
the bloke owns a ****ing geared bike, not even got a sniglespeeder.
i am gonna kick the dog now. 😀
woah there ton no kicking dogs 😈
comes running from the bathroom with shirt pulled over head, runs straight into the nearest table knocking everything flying and ruining at least two expensive ball gowns in the process (Sorry Rudeboy, Sorry Firestarter) leaps in the air cheering, uncorks champagne, sprays it everywhere!
*sighs*
*apologizes*
wanders off to fall asleep in a wheely bin clutching his prize in his grubby kebab stenched hands
Wild scenes of celebration in Swindon take a strange turn:
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well done old cock..
I think Ton knows more about Nutt(s) than he's letting on..... 😯
The news didnt go down to well in Shropshire
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looks like one guy has fallen and squashed Bagpus the cat - thats shropshire for you.
I've just heard from the town elders, ther's going to be a ceremonial mattresses burning along the entire length of "The Great Wall of Swindon" tonight!!
HURRRRAHHH!!
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In honour of Mr Nutts fantastic winning entry in the competition Poundshop have brought out a celebration mug.....
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The other guy on the ground appears to be wearing the worlds biggest tie.
😆
Thread of the week.
Wiltshire police struggle to contain the ecstatic crowds in Swindon town centre:
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the great Bagpus and large tie riots.... when all is really very well, sometimes you just need the slightest excuse to riot.
Swindon residents, overjoyed at the Great Victory, celebrate in the way only they can. Even Calvin the Caterpillar gets in on the action:
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PMSL @ Shinsplints
😀
Swindon becomes a Mecca for the Glitterati, drawn in by the incredible success of MrNutt:
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The celebrations take on a decidedly multicultural flavour, reflecting the huge ethnic and cultural diversity of this legendary Centre of Global Culture:
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MrNutt's personal transport arrives...
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Local slebs are on the way to the towm hall:
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more mattresses!!! more mattresses!!!
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Local news reports: "they'll be sleeping on porn, broken cigarettes and empty cans again, look at it! they love it!"
MISS SWINDON DENIES AFFAIR WITH MRNUTT.
Miss Swindon 2008, the lovely Becky Cole, today denied reports that she was having a torrid affair with the winner of the Charlie Bike Monger Sticker Slogan competition. Becky, 23, from Lower Stratton, said "he's a nice bloke and all that, but to be honest, he's not quite my type, and anyway, he's already engaged to MrsNutt. Besides, he's got a rubbish bike". MrNutt was unavailable for comment, mainly because he was comatose at the time.
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mrmichaelwright sits at the back of the room waiting for the event to finish so he can get on with the derig
watching drunk people make fools of themselves has ceased to be interesting. if MrNutt doesn't wake up the PA will be taken down with him asleep on it.
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and for the 40th time [b]NO I'M NOT THE FRIGGIN DJ[/b] HE'S THE GUY STOOD AT THE FRONT WITH THE CD PLAYERS AND THE TUXEDO ON
we had oe of those desks once,
got ruined by a flying vodca and coke
it clearly hadn't been properly looked after
proper lighting desks have an 'everything proof' veneer of a carefully concocted mix of coffee, beer, cocaine and fag ash
@charlie the bikemonger :
bagpuss survived the great big tie & bagpuss riots .....but was never the cat he used to be after all this sticker malarky....
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well done mr.nutt i hope you win a bag of pooh 😉
haha
Local tourist 'trap' renamed in honour:
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hahahaha mefster thats a classic! 😆
'How the **** does that work???' Said Dougal.
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'Fuctifiknow', replied Florence.
MrNutt just carried on, playing his guitar. 'All this fame is making me melancholy', he sighed.
Zebedee gave Ermintrude some Crack Cocaine, while Mr Rusty worried about the Nonce Squad finding all those images on his hard drive...
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pic-tastic post
I actually love that roundabout, I could drive around it for hours laughing manically! (I was once told off by a policeman for driving around it too many times, the "I'm lost" excuse didn't cut it!)
I should point out, just for the record like, I was born in Marlborough, I just happen to reside in Swindon, for convenience you understand, well that and the crackwhores that all seem to look like Hora. 😀
Christ, how on Earth do they make any money??? 😯
Cheezuz sh1t the bed, how the **** does it work???
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That is utter madness. Do people just give up, halfway round, and have mental breakdowns? I bet they do.
What nut-job came up with that idea?
That's truly insane...
I am sat here pissing myself laughing at the absurdity of that. Working out the labyrinthine manner of it's design, and the sheer complexity of it. How many ways through/round it???
😆
absurd.............
the best thing is to go around each of the external mini roundabouts and then when you get to the one you started at you then go around the middle one the opposite direction, genius!! 😀
Gratz MrNutt - for winning, and spawning this hilarious thread!
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That roundabout is just mental :S
Don't blame me, Charlie did it!!
and then it descended from a fine gala award dinner party in bagpus and tie riots, and then we all had a nice chat about roundabouts... yes, roundabouts... shame on us 😉
MR Nutt... email me for your headset spacer/beer bottle opener.
Cheers
Charlie
There are rumours of Mr Nutt making a star appearance at the Big Bike Bash in August.
Failing that WCa will have a bike featuring the most excellent head set bottle opener*.
*Don;t worry Charlie, I have one already. this isn;t a begging post.