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My 15yo son crashed his MTB in Jan resulting in two broken wrists.... Totally his own fault, but knocked his confidence a lot. He's ridden off road a handful of times since, but will NOT ride Swinley again.
He rides 50km a week to/from the station for school which has been ok.
Last Friday saw a distracted driver clip his rear wheel on a roundabout right by our home, sending him into the shell grip.
It's still early days, but he's talking about stopping riding completely and switching to the bus for school (this is a PITA for many reasons).
My main concern is that my "little" boy has had his confidence destroyed. How can I encourage him not to give up biking which is something he loved?
Happy to pay out for some coaching or support etc. In fact, it might be much better coming from someone else Vs his family.
Any advice out there?
Skills days and has he any mates to ride with?
Tell him to ride on the pavements, life's too short. He'll get his confidence back eventually.
Best of luck mate, feel for him and you.
Hi Adam,
From a sports psychology point of view it all relates to "controlling the control-ables."
You say that the first crash was "totally his fault." A sports psychologist would probably want to break this down further and dissect exactly what happened to cause the crash..... wrong tyre choice, going too fast in a turn, poor pedalling technique etc.
By analysing the exact cause, the athlete can then gain power and control over the situation and plan to make performance changes for the future ie the next time he goes to Swinley.
The second crash with the distracted driver needs to be considered separately. This is more to do with acknowledging that life is actually sometimes pretty dangerous BUT by wearing helmets and being mindful of route choice and visibility on dark nights etc we do have some control over situations which could kill us or put us in hospital.
Saying that "i'm not going to ride again" or "i'm going to get the bus from now on" is clearly a "flight" strategy which will work in the short term but in the long run will not enable your son to be a better, happier and more confident rider. (But I'm sure you already know that...)
Ultimately, cycling in all its forms is pretty safe and that the high risk things that we do ie commuting through rush-hour traffic and even trying to nail that 300ft gap jump can be controlled.
Did you see the Ruiz/Joshua boxing match on Saturday? What made Joshua get back in the ring after being half-killed by Ruiz 6 months ago? I bet it was a confidence in his ability to control the situation even though he knew he might get hit on that weak ear again. Anthony Joshua knew before he stepped into the ring that he could control the situation and that control came from analysing and understanding exactly what mistakes he made when he lost the first time.
"Control the control-ables." That's what its all about. And yes.... it would be a shame to give up on a lifetime of happy riding adventures because of knock-backs.
Hope that helps a little..... Sounds like your lad has a caring dad who wants the best for him. I'm sure he will come through it with you for support.
If your son does need someone to talk to (from an emotional support point of view).... have a look at Kooth.com (yup..... their not exactly sports psychologists at Kooth but lots of the 15yr olds I teach need a bit of a boost at the moment and Kooth are pretty good at helping.
Stay safe. Happy riding.
Tell him to ride on the pavements, life’s too short
I was going to say something along those lines too.
I always ride on pavements wherever possible and tell my daughter to do the same, theres far too many complete ****wits behind the wheel of cars these days 🙄
Useful replies all around esp Simon! His double wrist break was hitting a jump waaay too fast. He cleared the landing by a long way, so hit the deck (with his hands). It's early days, but I think it helps to get some ideas early.
Adam...... You have any video footage of the wrist-break crash? Any Go Pro or camera phone video of your lad in action?
A few years ago PE teachers and coaches were going mad for Dartfish.com You could do your own version on your phone if you wanted.
Perhaps you want to session a few runs at Swinley with him? Take some video of him and talk about technique etc You could compare video of him with the self-help guides in the "Riding Skills" section of some old MBUK mags etc..... get him talking about how to improve his riding etc.
You could just try something different. Go to some nice countryside and do some easy riding with him. No jumps, just some rides to challenge his level of fitness. Nothing serious, just enjoyment of riding. Stop at a cafe, have some good food and then ride back. He's at an age where he'll be making his own decisions about what he likes doing and how he's gonna do it.
If you are able to, take him to BPW and just enjoy the blue runs.
It’s just fun all day long.
I broke my wrist at Swinley, bastard place is pretty boring as well.
Once he's been on the bus for a few weeks, he'll want to get back on his bike. Buses are shit!
Green run at Swinley and a recumbent trike to commute to the station. I feel for him. Took a while to get my confidence back after I broke a lot of things.
Why push him? He will find his own way back, especially on the mtb where in time he will realise he can control it. As for riding on the road, deffo let him get the bus until he decides it’s not for him. It is pitch black, wet and horrible at the moment - a few weeks on the bus won’t hurt.
Google managing anxiety. There will be a lot of stuff similar to Simon_semtex above.
Sounds like he’s got a few legitimate reasons to be worried and anxious about riding at the moment. So whatever you do don’t tell him to relax or forget about it or not worry. Validate his worry but don’t feed it. See if you can help him narrow down the stuff that’s really getting to him in all that’s happened. Look out for yourself too.
firstly, its no surprise that your son had his confidence shattered. we all have crashes and many have had bad ones.
i had a head on collision with a rogue motorcross bike once that still makes me shudder decades later (mud guard went through my knuckle - fractured skull and shattered Etto helmet - it was a while ago!). lying in a heap in the seconds after that one i remember the thought 'dont let this put you off' because realistically it was the sort of thing that might just do that.
perhaps time off the bike isn't so bad as others have suggested. its fine to get a fright (and hes also been lucky) and when it feels right, he's come back to it. and the experience will help him to grow as a cyclist if he chooses.
good luck!
Difficult one, in different sport dinghy sailing my son was going to stop more to do with stress and not enjoing racing. We took a step back and found a different series and boat where the atmosphere was more relaxed and fun and made sure he knew it was up to him if he wasnt comfortable, like most teenagers needed support and persuasion to organise but the most important part was doing an event that he enjoyed and was fun and was with friends, the competition then came back naturally.
Coke and hookers obvs.
Social rides with dad for a while which may help the anxiety, perhaps group rides with any of his friends or people his age and maybe he'll be encouraged, and maybe seeing them play about on jumps but stressing he doesn't need to do them. Can understand not wanting to replicate the incident though but seeing riding about and even jumps is normal may help. Though we crash at times, it's not usually the norm.
wrong tyre choice
It's Swinley. Tyre choice is the reason for everything 😄
This might be daft, but what about doing an xc race. Could be fun class or a 1 lapper, I reckon in a feild of riders all about the same age, he will not want to be last
Strapa race number on and everyone becomes competetive, add some testosterone and hormones into the mix and he should be elbows out charging around. If there are any girls in the feild even better
But don't force it, you may have to entertain yourself and do a race as well to sell it to him
You never know, he might be pretty tasty, Southern Enduro do a junior race and any half decent lad would podium. Needs to meet a really top class rider who he follows that would be great for him.
Could get expensive mind, be a shame if he stopped completely
You could just try something different. Go to some nice countryside and do some easy riding with him. No jumps, just some rides to challenge his level of fitness. Nothing serious, just enjoyment of riding. Stop at a cafe, have some good food and then ride back. He’s at an age where he’ll be making his own decisions about what he likes doing and how he’s gonna do it.
This.
Why push him? He will find his own way back, especially on the mtb where in time he will realise he can control it. As for riding on the road, deffo let him get the bus until he decides it’s not for him. It is pitch black, wet and horrible at the moment – a few weeks on the bus won’t hurt.
Also this.
Thanks all. Our plan was a mix of quite a few of the ideas above but it's good to get confirmation. For those who asked, he raced cx last season and has raced triathlon for years.... I'm thinking a pootle up to velolife for a massive cake might be a start?