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Sorry to keep referring back to my recovery, but as I make a return to riding, I find more and more questions arising.
Yesterday was the first time on my main road bike since the accident, as well as the first time I attempted anything surfaces that approached 'rolling'. I found two things that spooked me, and I am looking for some comment from others that might help me overcome the underlying issues.
I would be especially interested in the experience of roadies, but welcome responses from anyone - especially if they can identify with what I am saying.
1. The first question concerns descending in general. I can hardly watch a GCN video now without cringing when I see them descending. Our vulnerability as cyclists is never more obvious than when we're going at speed and the force of gravity is actually acting [I]against[/I] our safety. Anyway, I suppose descending with confidence is something that we all need to be able to do, but what I think I need to build up in myself is what psychologists call "basic trust", and would happy to learn of any shortcuts that would help me do this.
2. The second is about braking. I will never in my life forget that sense of helplessness when I squeezed the brakes first and realised that I wasn't going to be able to cut my speed, then grabbing them and just continuing to slide forward as if my tyres had nothing under them. In any case, as shallow as yesterday's 'descents' were yesterday, once I picked up the extra speed, I could still feel the insufficiency of my stopping power. I didn't have any close calls, but I still found myself having to modulate my braking in order to avoid skidding, and that sort of freaked me out. Is this normal? Or should I expect my tyres to hold the ground better? I honestly have a hard time remembering what it is all supposed to feel like, and need to build up my nerve a bit.
Mytholm Steeps where you crashed is ****ing steep. And slippy and twisty.
Every time I drive down it now I think about your crash.
I haven't ridden down it for a while - I think I was at one time in the Strava top 10 for descending it. I've also ridden down it with a full barrel of beer on a trailer - my brakes failed on that attempt though thankfully I was ok.
Since your crash I've thought about how I rode down it, and I'm still amazed I didn't hit a wall or paste myself all over a car - either parked, or coming up the hill.
I think it's totally normal and very sensible you're feeling like this. You will gradually get over things, and learn to trust your skills again. A skinny tyred road bike has incredible braking power but only in good conditions. Excess speed on wet or loose surfaces - well, you don't need anyone to tell you what the results are of course.
All I can offer is some sense of perspective to what you're feeling. No hard and fast tips, other than building up steadily - and within controlled conditions trying to find what the limits are and how you can sense them and react.
Every time I’m out on my road bike in the wet I do think there is a lack of grip and I ride much more cautiously. Nothing like where you crashed, but there’s a steep ish hill I go down on my way to work and the potential accident at the bottom is very evident in bad weather. In the dry you can get to mid 30’s mph - but there is a 90 degree bend at the bottom and if you don’t make it there’s a stone wall to catch you with no run off before it from the road.
I was a bit nervous after a couple of big off road mtb crashes last year and was finding on more difficult / fast trails I was very hesitant and making slow progress getting my confidence back. I got some mtb coaching and that massively helped. I’m assuming there are people who coach road riding / descending - I’d be tempted to do that from your perspective. You might find you have some bad habits that help contributed to the accident.
Perfectly normal to feel cautious after an accident, and I wouldn't fight that. Just give yourself an extra margin of safety, ride within limits you are comfortable with, and see how things go.
I'm not sure if I'm following your description of braking correctly. I'd normally aim for keeping things smooth and carrying speed as much as possible, so looking ahead, braking well in advance and trying to minimise the acceleration out of the corner. I wouldn't expect to be anywhere near a skidding situation as I approach a corner.
The second is about braking. I will never in my life forget that sense of helplessness when I squeezed the brakes first and realised that I wasn’t going to be able to cut my speed
I get this on all my bikes, be it the BMX, MTB or roadie. Its not a nice sensation, one that through experience becomes avoidable or controlable. Hell I even get it when driving my car sometimes, slam on the brake, oh damn still going forward lets add the handbrake too! Made me stop driving through narrow country lanes for the most part.
Brakes
Practice a lot
3/4 of braking should be the front brake
Not sure what bike you have, but assuming a fairly standard road bike with skinny tyres and rim brakes?
Can you upgrade or change your bike? I've very little experience of 'pure' road riding, certainly on a proper road bike, but feel pretty confident in my hydraulic disc braked 'gravel' bike with fatter tyres. I'd imagine disc brakes and 30/32/35 rubber would give you more breaking ability and therefore confidence in being able to modulate your braking and stop in an emergency.
You still need to ride within yours, and the bike's, limits, but that would give you a bit more of a margin ...
Sounds like you need to re-learn your braking distances, on the bike and in a car!
Brake earlier...
A few thoughts that might help or might not. Despite having hospitalised myself a few times having crashed my mtb I've never, touch wood, had a bad one on the road but the confidence issues you talk about sound like, although worse than, what I had starting off riding a motorbike. As long as you stick to the golden rule, can I stop in the distance I can see confidence will slowly grow. Also try and position yourself in the road to extend your view not take the shortest route. Good luck.
(I don't know the back story, so apologies if my comments are misplaced in that context.)
I suppose descending with confidence is something that we all need to be able to do
Yes and no; confidence comes in more than one form. One example:
There's a hill near me where, if I want to, I can reach nearly 60mph. Nearly as in there's a temptation to try and reach it for the sake of it. The hill isn't anything massive, it's only the north face of the South Downs, so it's quite short. There's a left hander at the bottom and just before it there is a drop in the trees and hedgerows which means that on a breezy day there can be a gust of wind from the left just as you line up for the corner. To hit 60, you'd have to brake as late as possible, handle any crosswind in the braking zone, and then apex the corner fairly accurately.
I mention the next part because it's a key point in the illustration, not because I specifically want to raise an inevitably inflammatory topic…
Over the last decade I've gradually been wearing a helmet less often. The first occasion I found myself at the top of this hill without one, I decided I wasn't going to have a go at reaching 60. Not even close. Dry day, no wind, perfect conditions—but on this day, no heroics, just plenty of braking to keep the speed in check.
I still hit a decent lick on the straight section, so had I been extremely unlucky at that point and suffered a front tyre blowout or an animal suddenly sprinting out of the hedgerow into my spokes I'd still have been in trouble, but those tiny and inevitable risks were the only ones I really faced.
Any lack of confidence I had in my ability to take the corner at speed (let alone any risk from fairly unlikely but serious occurrences such as debris on the road around the corner) was more than offset by the confidence that I'd not put myself in the position of needing that level of skill.
These days I don't really give two hoots about how fast I go downhill and I don't see roads as an appropriate place for an adrenaline fix. I'm not in a race, I don't use Strava, and even if it's a rare day when I care about my average speed, it's not the downhills that make much difference to that anyway. And I can't recall the last time I wore a helmet.
So I'd suggest the option of not worrying too much about confidence in the form of pro-level bike handling. Sure, you need to feel comfortable and assured (and knowing the limits of your brakes etc can help there, so there's no harm in trying to find them deliberately in a safe way on deserted roads) but that doesn't mean the assurance has to come from your ability to take things to the limit; there's no shame if it comes from your ability to keep away from that limit.
If you do race, of course, then this isn't necessarily brilliant advice 😉
Glad you are back riding. Fancy a ride next week?
Re braking, the back will always skid easily when you brake hard. But don't brake hard. Brake early and smoothly. You're not on a solo breakaway, you'll never get a downhill KOM so just relax. Don't put yourself under pressure and it'll become easy.
As for descending advice - read the road surface. Not just if it's wet or dry, but what kind of wet or dry? A shower or heavy dew during a dry winter spell on a dank north facing hill overhung with trees is going to be greasy because of algae and decomposed organic material. After heavy summer rain it might be ok since the rain can wash it clean. A dry smooth road is good, but watch out for gravel or sand in the dry. Etc.
The hazards are on the road surface not just corners and junctions etc.